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top 200 commentsshow all 272

[–]c0lonelh0mer 566 points567 points ago

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Excuse me sir, I wish to polish my scrotum on your forehead.

[–]AngelinaTrollee 187 points188 points ago

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Who could refuse such a polite request?

[–][deleted] 99 points100 points ago

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Such a gentleman.

[–]Xa4 111 points112 points ago

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APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD..

:(

i hate this commercial

[–]koviko 16 points17 points ago

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APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD

i love this commercial! it understands me

[–]Infernal_NightGaunt 12 points13 points ago

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APPLY DIRECTLY TO FORESKIN

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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HEAD-ON, I LOVE YOU.

[–]auxiliary-character 1 point2 points ago

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PALM, APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FACE.

[–]zerosilversky 1 point2 points ago

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this kills the forehead

[–]down_vote_magnet 56 points57 points ago

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The all new Forehead Polisher from JML

The patented scrotum-shaped cleaner hangs conveniently between your legs, and when used with any standard NBA basketball hoop allows you to quickly and easily polish any forehead within reach.

THE JML FOREHEAD POLISHER COMES WITH ALL THESE FEATURES AS STANDARD:

  • Super stretchy, wrinkle-flex surface allows easy access to all areas of the head.

  • Inner ball for complete 360° cleaning. We'll even throw in an extra one, FREE!

  • Pube-Pro™ lining for an unrivaled buffing performance.

ORDER NOW!

[–]MisterIggy 8 points9 points ago

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All of my-

Wait.

[–]kristian444 9 points10 points ago

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Available from Robert Dyas, Poundstretcher and Wilkinson Sword!

[–]funkgerm 6 points7 points ago

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Lost it at wrinkle-flex.

[–]MDendura 1 point2 points ago

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Take yours to the checkout today!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was thinking, "He scraped his nuts on his forehead," but what you said is how a real gentleman would put it.

[–]doyouunderstandlife 212 points213 points ago

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Now the Washington players know how their fans feel.

[–]Communist_Party 64 points65 points ago

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HEY-OH

[–]touchyfeelyum 6 points7 points ago

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Just going to leave this here

[–]vernonhardapple13 5 points6 points ago

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That gif is a microcosm of their season. Only the Wiz.

edit: that for this

[–]cheese 2 points3 points ago

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Come feel our pain the r/WashingtonWizards sub. It's almost as unsatisfying as watching a Wizards game in its entirety.

But seriously, please check us out.

[–]cwumed 7 points8 points ago

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I'm sorry I only have one upvote to give you, sir.

[–]matchgame72 2 points3 points ago

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Think about the Wizards! Won't someone please think of the Wizards!?!

[–]coreyjro 111 points112 points ago

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Video

  • Tea Bagger - Chandler Parsons
  • Tea Baggee - JaVale McGee

[–]primokarim 23 points24 points ago

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[–]depressiown 8 points9 points ago

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Did he just give Blake Griffin a troll face after dunking over him?

IT SURE LOOKS LIKE IT.

[–]BeBenNova 41 points42 points ago

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Chandler Parsons tip slam on JaVale McGee

ಠ_ಠ

[–]I_DRINK_URINE 47 points48 points ago

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Just the tip.

[–][deleted] 42 points43 points ago

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What did the leper say to the prostitute?

Keep the tip.

[–]Bladewing10 11 points12 points ago

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I like your style, Bear.

[–]therealjag 6 points7 points ago

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McGee got McTee'd

[–]phyll1s 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Gpr1me 7 points8 points ago

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Chandler Bang

[–]JimmyJamesincorp 1 point2 points ago

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Though it was Chanandler bong.

[–]UmamiTsunami 1 point2 points ago

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Ms. Chanandler Bong

[–]Paralda 20 points21 points ago

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I fucking love Chandler Parsons. Long time Gators fan, I grew up in Gainesville, and had season tickets until I moved away for college two years ago.

[–]Gator17 7 points8 points ago

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[–]accipitradea 2 points3 points ago

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Nice, thanks for those links, that was impressive.

[–]kramzag 4 points5 points ago

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I'm on board with Parsons. It was cool how he could control games at Florida without scoring a lot. Hope he becomes a solid pro. Glad to see he can get up too!

[–]andjuan 9 points10 points ago

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Go Gators!

[–]garvus123 7 points8 points ago

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That was JaVale? LOL, that brings the humor of this situation to a personal level! You see, he went my high school. Now I have to go tell everyone that he made the front page of reddit for getting 360 teabagged.

[–]Marcus-Bachmann 0 points1 point ago

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I, for one, am relieved to find this is NOT about politics!

on a side note, I, Marcus Bachmann, would welcome both of these men in my clinic. at once, if need be.

[–]livevil999 0 points1 point ago

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I was disappointed that they didn't react to the tea bagging. Should have been: "...and Smith (whoever) puts one up and it's no goooo... Chandler Pearsons putting the tea bag dunk on Javale McGee! Insult to injury right there! Oh lawdy lawd he's gonna cry to momma about that one later. That's how you play ball, if you know what I mean!"

[–]Fei_Long 0 points1 point ago

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That logo on the floor that looks like a dick and balls makes this priceless.

[–]Queefism 64 points65 points ago

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Dick move.

[–]Trogathor 149 points150 points ago

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I'm gonna start carrying a basketball hoop around with me just so I can do this whenever I win an argument

[–]dfinch 73 points74 points ago

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You should probably learn how to fly first. Or at least, hover.

[–]Se7en_Sinner 23 points24 points ago

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Or just carry a Red Bull around too.

[–]TheAdAgency 12 points13 points ago

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No need, only engage in arguments with children and Midgets.

© TheAdAgency 2012

[–]knumbknuts 215 points216 points ago

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damn.

musta left a snail track from ear to ear.

[–]raisedgrooves 31 points32 points ago

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in one ear and out the other

[–]seagramsextradrygin 29 points30 points ago

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in one ear and in the other

[–]AlwaysDownvoted- 6 points7 points ago

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At first I thought your username had sex-trade in it

[–]PerogiXW 3 points4 points ago

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People talkin' shit but you know I never bother

[–]Stupey 3 points4 points ago

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Well the devil is my pal, I do alot of drugs the crowd will only like me if they're really fucking drunk.

[–]I_SHIT_KARMA 19 points20 points ago

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Guys don't have that.

[–]knumbknuts 10 points11 points ago

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schweddy balls.

[–]KevinFerguson 3 points4 points ago

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dat scrotum juice.

[–]TheCuntDestroyer 6 points7 points ago

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[–]CitiusAltiusFortius 56 points57 points ago

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Well, it's safe to say that guys pride is now in shambles after getting dunked on and then a helicopter dick like no other.

[–]house_of_sandwiches 1 point2 points ago

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When you say "helicopter dick" I instantly think of meatspin. WHY INTERNET WHY!? :(

[–]therukus 0 points1 point ago

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Meh, Javale McGee is the leading shot blocker in the NBA currently. He's ruined enough peoples days in man pride-shattering fashion to offset one said helicopter dicking.

[–]Chachoregard 25 points26 points ago

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I heard the Flourish sound from the Tony Hawk games when you do a Special trick.

[–]BullshitUsername 18 points19 points ago

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Holy shit that's the best sound.

DUNNN

[–]blonderocker 13 points14 points ago

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DUNN

FS Slam Dunk to BS 360 Teabag

12,340 x2

[–]BullshitUsername 0 points1 point ago

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FS Slam Dunk + BS 360 Tea Bag + Revert + Manual + 180 Inward Heelflip + Manual + Kickflip + Melon

17,890 x8

[–]BassBox33 382 points383 points ago

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Three-sixtea bagged.

[–]HimTiser 89 points90 points ago

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fuck you're a genius

[–]bigr3000 8 points9 points ago

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I was there live, Chandler Parsons is a tip-in dunking monster.

Go Rockets!

[–]babiesloveboobies 5 points6 points ago

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It's even better the first time in slo-mo.

...that is, if your internet isn't too fast.

[–]DankFrank 8 points9 points ago

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As a huge wizards fan...fuck it nevermind

[–]OnlyOddQuestions 10 points11 points ago

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What did that smell like?

[–]Forensicunit 53 points54 points ago

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Basketballs.

[–]TCR_A1 2 points3 points ago

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like a setup by a 2 year, 6 month old reddit account to gain karma, that's what it smells like!

[–]TocYounger 6 points7 points ago

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that was wonderful, I didn't know what to expect clicking on that link, but left satisfied.

[–]TimeIsWasted 6 points7 points ago

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I'll be damned. White man could jump after all.

[–]jenawithanh 9 points10 points ago

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Best dunkface

[–]thenotoriousbtb 31 points32 points ago

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That's a180.

[–]fiskenslakt 76 points77 points ago

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Oh hey that guy.

[–]mblitch 2 points3 points ago

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The event occurrence itself was only 180 degrees of contact, no matter how much the body rotated prior to or after the contact was made. The entry point of contact was by the left ear of the player and the rotational direction (from a top-down perspective) was clockwise with contact continuing until the exit point by the right ear of the victim.

So while the perpetrator's body did conduct a 360 degree turn as part of the event in question, the actual contact rotational direction was only 180 degrees. Sure it is 'cool to insinuate such a recognizable mathematical value, such claims would be erroneous at best.

Viewing as well as reading comprehension are important aspect of life, though only reading tends to be measured in standardized tests, so it is important to be discerning when making assessments and then asserting with precision as to what actually occurred. This is why so many people that witness the very same event rarely are accurate in the retelling. Often they embellish or in appropriately use terms that they do not understand, which creates issues such as this.

[–]KhalilRavanna 4 points5 points ago*

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He does a 360 and teabags a guy.

[–]Schmich 1 point2 points ago

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I SAY IT'S A PS3!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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360 and walkaway

ninja edit: Technically a 360 depending on how you look at it.

[–]thenotoriousbtb 4 points5 points ago

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Technically a 180˚ teabag no matter how you look at it.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Drew this highly advanced diagram for you.

http://i.imgur.com/A4Xon.png

[–]Pheet 7 points8 points ago

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I made a revision to that highly advanced diagram.

http://i.imgur.com/XFrZk.jpg

[–]Kelmi 4 points5 points ago

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He makes a 540˚ turn but the teabagging only lasts for 180˚.

[–]glintsCollide 7 points8 points ago

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Walking a full circle and walking back on the same path you came from leave you with a total rotation of your body of 180˚.

[–]CheekyMunky 4 points5 points ago

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...or 540, which is what he does in the video.

[–]huntdawgin 2 points3 points ago

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What assholes do to n00bs when they kill them in NBA 2k

[–]jonkdavis 2 points3 points ago

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Aaaaand that's one more for the bucket list.

[–]ijustupvoteeverythin 2 points3 points ago

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What a baller!

[–]Super_Spud 3 points4 points ago

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I hope he just yelled "WHEEEEEEEEE!" that looked like it was fun.

[–]tinkatiza 7 points8 points ago

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Now that's what i call Puts on glasses Rubbing it in his face YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[–]De_Angelo 4 points5 points ago

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I laughed more and more as it repeated... I don't know, it just got funnier for me for some reason.

[–]Citizen_Snip 4 points5 points ago

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At first I thought this was just accidental, but no. He knew what he was doing. He was looking at him the entire time, which makes this 100% better.

[–]gb2digg 4 points5 points ago

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Uh, sorry people, I know you love it when strangers are randomly dicks to each other, but he actually had to do this to prevent himself from falling on the guy.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That's what it seemed like to me. If he had let go he might have landed on the other guy. I guess it is what it is.

[–]felatedbirthday 1 point2 points ago

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sooo muuuch nut sweat

[–]lycosa2008 1 point2 points ago

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my life is complete

[–]eravulgaris 1 point2 points ago

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He actually liked it at first, until he took a whiff and smelled the horribleness between the guys' legs.

[–]vofgofm33 1 point2 points ago

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and I thought this was going to be about an xbox :O

[–]ResidentWeeaboo 1 point2 points ago

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He got teabagged by CP. ... Okay, I'll be showing myself out now.

[–]wafflestomp 1 point2 points ago

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That was hilarious! The guy got a man's crotch in around his whole head and face!

[–]honeyboi 1 point2 points ago

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Badass. This kid has a dunk almost exactly like this every game. Go Rockets.

[–]thediabloman 1 point2 points ago

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Thought this actually was about 360 Tea bags. Now that would be impressive.

[–]Modex14 1 point2 points ago

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This guy probally smells like junk now.

[–]ShittyPunsInItalics 1 point2 points ago

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Basketball? More like basketBALLS!

[–]Ludofi 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know what's more impressive. The dunk or the tea bag manoeuvre...

[–]DrugCrazed 1 point2 points ago

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Man, he's probably testy now.

[–]andrewchi 1 point2 points ago

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Sigh... my Washington Wizards, here on front-page. It's what I've always wanted - but not like this, not like this.

[–]f_nderscore 1 point2 points ago

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best laugh I've had this month. thank you OP. Thank you.

[–]Jakugen 1 point2 points ago

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I dub this technique the Can-opener!

[–]cplaz 1 point2 points ago

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Chandler Parsons is a boss

[–]fuber 1 point2 points ago

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Gator

[–]gregsmith93 1 point2 points ago

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Came here expecting a circular drinking tea bags ಠ_ಠ

[–]potodds 1 point2 points ago

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IN YOUR FACE!

[–]ashishduh 1 point2 points ago*

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Chandler's such a badass. He had another tip slam against the Clips and stared down Blake Griffin afterwards. video

[–]sitdownstandup 1 point2 points ago

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My favorite Parsons slam at Florida: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NdhuLfGcjrE

[–]nealanino 1 point2 points ago

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Gator Nation is everywhere!!!!!!!

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Three Nestea bag

[–]peacebuster 3 points4 points ago

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Didn't even make the mainstream sports channels' highlights... rigged NBA

[–]MrInopportune 3 points4 points ago

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Except the Sportcenter top ten? number 3 or 4

[–]gatorphan84 1 point2 points ago

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Actually, it made the SC top 10 this morning. I was pleasantly surprised.

[–]mrfrostbear 3 points4 points ago

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Teabag? Jokes on you I don't even drink tea.

[–]Danny_Wilde 3 points4 points ago

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"JaVale" means "I swallow" in french. Makes sense...

[–]Gezus10k 1 point2 points ago

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the Wizards new logo looks like a penis

[–]iLOVEdux 1 point2 points ago

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Real life teabags are way more impressive than gaming teabags... mainly because these ones aren't preformed by profanely abusive 13 year old boys.

[–]Fearlessleader85 1 point2 points ago

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THERE'S PENIS EVERYWHERE!!!

[–]therake210 1 point2 points ago

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That's my boy CP. Went to Lake Howell with him in Orlando.

[–]The-Mathematician 14 points15 points ago

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That's my boy CP

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Trenks 3 points4 points ago

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Parsons is sweet. Upvote for you.

[–]loofawah 1 point2 points ago

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Schweddy Balls, Check

Loose Fitting Shorts, Check

Being Able to Dunk, Dammit!! <=I believe I have a new mission in life.

[–]I_KeepsItReal 0 points1 point ago

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Don't know why, but I laughed. Hysterically.

[–]eiffel6565 0 points1 point ago

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Well , Dang it

[–]Camnesia 0 points1 point ago

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It's so perfect, as if time slows down right when the two three of them collide.

[–]CrunchynutCornflakes 0 points1 point ago

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Parsons had that dunk in the bag.

[–]dbonham 0 points1 point ago

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the great white hope

[–]cats_are_people_too 0 points1 point ago

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just recruited parsons into my fantasy team... gun!

[–]on_that_note 0 points1 point ago

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great, now my morning coffee is all over the damn keyboard... although that just made my morning so much better.

[–]jrmcgee1 0 points1 point ago

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dude got air-bagged

[–]CallumLD 0 points1 point ago

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Is it legal for the bench to stand in the court whenever they feel like that.

[–]SoupForDummies 0 points1 point ago

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prob one of the most badass dunks i've ever seen

[–]TimberCutt 0 points1 point ago

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ah this is great

[–]toxygen 0 points1 point ago

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He did that in one big, smooth motion. Amazing

[–]Wisc19 0 points1 point ago

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savor the flavor

[–]stucktogether 0 points1 point ago

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This sort of sums up Washington's season so far.

[–]FiroProchainezo 0 points1 point ago

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Get swooped on.

[–]PullOutBoy 0 points1 point ago

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haters gonna hate!

[–]FightingAmish 0 points1 point ago

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Sums up the Wizards perfectly.

[–]MuseofRose 0 points1 point ago

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The 360 Giddy-up Ride-Em Cowboy.

[–]rtaylo 1 point2 points ago

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I came here to reference that episode of The Boondocks, is that what you call winning? A nigga's nuts in yo face?

[–]brandy606 0 points1 point ago

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That's more of a 180 t bag.

[–]FUcarMA 0 points1 point ago

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360...and i think he felt the SCOPE on his face.

[–]biggus_doggus 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know much about basketball, but that's gotta be worth more points, right?

[–]aronblue 0 points1 point ago

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That pretty much sums up the wizards right now...

[–]crazyguns 0 points1 point ago

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for a second there, i thought it was an EA nba game with the new fifa 12 game engine!!

[–]MILKYJOEnz 0 points1 point ago

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i bet after this happened it was an all out race to make the gif

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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180°, but w/e

[–]Trey-fantastico 0 points1 point ago

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Epic!!!!!!!

[–]kabanaga 0 points1 point ago

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WHARRGARBL!

[–]diggitydan 0 points1 point ago

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HEADSHOT.

DOUBLE KILL! lol well not really a double kill, but he totally double dribbled all over that guy's head.

[–]Gator17 0 points1 point ago

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Attaboy Chandler.

[–]LUCASAN 0 points1 point ago

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thats hot

[–]rollinvl 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god, my home team, why?

[–]bagoftea 0 points1 point ago

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I came expecting loose leaf :(

[–]Justicles13 0 points1 point ago

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Just saw this on Sports Center. Awesome stuff

[–]thatdudecalledZZ 0 points1 point ago

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The Wizards are 1-12 in the season, it makes sense that the Rockets are making a mockery of them...

[–]JibberGXP 0 points1 point ago

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So graceful. It's like it was all planned out. The most legit tea-bag I've ever seen.

[–]myfangersmellsfunny 0 points1 point ago

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ha nice....came here thinking I was going to see some neat invention for making tea faster and easier.

[–]rizbiz 0 points1 point ago

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Amazing. It's literally a "suck my dick" insult.

[–]damnmyeyes 0 points1 point ago

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please, take all of my upvotes

[–]imafunghi 0 points1 point ago

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more impressively thats a less common white-on-black teabag

[–]yourafagyourafag 0 points1 point ago

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HE'S ON FIIIIIIIIIIRRRRREEEE!!!!!!

[–]asoneva 0 points1 point ago

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still counts

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I hate basketball. I hate tea bags. I hate 360's. Get off my lawn.

[–]devils0508 0 points1 point ago

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According to Reddit, that's sexual assault.

[–]yourstoopit 0 points1 point ago

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Once you go black........

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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"AH GET IT OFF OF ME, ITS GONNA SUCK ME IN"

[–]SittingOnGoldmine 0 points1 point ago

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Dng ding ding we have a winner!!!

[–]Robstaley 0 points1 point ago

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dick swirly

[–]jimx117 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoting for thinking this would be related to Xbox in some way, shape or form and being surprised by a lol-able GIF

[–]BobSeger 0 points1 point ago

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The video makes it look like the player that is in-bounding the ball after the dunk is throwing it at Parsons in reaction to the tea bag dunk.

[–]youngceb 0 points1 point ago

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To be fair all the Washington Wizards are having a 360 tea bag this season

[–]losmashlimit 0 points1 point ago

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Logged in just to upvote this

[–]Exducer 0 points1 point ago

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Hahahaha, yeah that's fantastic.

[–]onipos 0 points1 point ago

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180, in truth

[–]skiptomyliu 0 points1 point ago

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Was that Chandler Parsons?

[–]YoungAndAimless 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed way more than I should have

[–]kmreid 0 points1 point ago

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He must really enjoy those Schwetty Balls.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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It's called T-bag:)

[–]Kottfoers 0 points1 point ago

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Bumped it to 2000 karma. I feel special.

[–]jrs4217 0 points1 point ago

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i thought sacks only applied to football

[–]s0cia11y_awkward 0 points1 point ago

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Can only imagine his pokerface

[–]semprfityrannosaurus 0 points1 point ago

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"Eww! That's what you call winnin'? A nigga's nuts on yo face?"

[–]IsThisWhereANameGoes 0 points1 point ago

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Could you please explain your username?

[–]Ravenvol 0 points1 point ago

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John Waters would love this.

[–]kit_carlisle 0 points1 point ago

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More of a 180... but whatever, AWESOME.

[–]jcvince 0 points1 point ago

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They both loved it