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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Magzter 388 points389 points ago

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I FINALLY FEEL IMPORTANT FOR THE FIRST TIME OF MY LIFE.

[–]funkbuddha 85 points86 points ago

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Create that feeling everyday. Whatever it is that you're working on or actively pursuing right now, I believe in you. We believe in you.

[–]tarcM 16 points17 points ago

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In fact, we're keeping your license. We're gonna check in on you. We know where you live. If you’re not on your way to becoming a veterinarian whatever you really want to be in six weeks, you’re going to be dead. Run on.

[–]Quillworth 26 points27 points ago

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We need more comments like this.

[–]trakam 8 points9 points ago

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Reddit doesn't like reposts.

[–]trakam 3 points4 points ago

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Just seen the front page, who am I kidding: "Create that feeling everyday. Whatever it is that you're working on or actively pursuing right now, I believe in you. We believe in you."

[–]goeraz 1 point2 points ago

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buddha? is that .... you?

[–]funkbuddha 1 point2 points ago

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Only if you believe it's true. Plus maximum funk!

[–]Reliable-Source 224 points225 points ago

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I used to live in Melbourne! Ha ha, but seriously, I'm just here for the karma train.

[–]Nictionary 134 points135 points ago

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Allll abooaard!

[–]altosax29b 89 points90 points ago

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I use Crest toothpaste. This makes me eligible for the karma train.

[–]Im_Not_Pinkie_Pie 54 points55 points ago

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Not Colgate? Philistine!

[–]BonePwns13 17 points18 points ago

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Indeed, non-Colgate folks are such brutes.

[–]noseforsharpies 4 points5 points ago

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I don't know WHAT the fuck is going on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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wat

[–]url00 1 point2 points ago

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Colgate for President!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Chrest is besttoothpaste.

[–]lolwut19 1 point2 points ago

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[–]SpiderJerusalem 25 points26 points ago

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Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

[–]smacbeats 20 points21 points ago

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I had Cheetos today.

[–]TheWave110 9 points10 points ago

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They give me an upvote for every time I say that.

[–]UnholyDemigod 6 points7 points ago

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I'm in Geelong :(

[–]masmandiri 3 points4 points ago

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Represent!

[–]mjec 9 points10 points ago

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You misspelled "repent"

[–]dosinvstrbo 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck yeah, Geelongs where its at

[–]UnholyDemigod 1 point2 points ago

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A fellow Geelongian? We could totally karma whore right now.

"Where do you live?"

...

"No shit, I live there too! What street?"

...

"Bullshit! That's where I live! What number?"

...

GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

[–]masmandiri 2 points3 points ago

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If my 13 years of Geelong experience has taught me anything, there is a strong chance we either share a mutual friend or I may know a relative of yours. Being born, and for a short while raised in Melbourne, I have few family members here, however, for such a big town it never ceases to amaze me how few degrees of separation there are.

[–]Jadow 1 point2 points ago

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Wtf Australia- since when do we post and get to the front page at 5pm??? Can someone call me next time??!

[–]drummer_86 2 points3 points ago

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HOOOORAAAY!! YOU'RE BEING NOTICED!

[–]zigamagoon 90 points91 points ago

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Melbournians unite!

[–]GhosttHardware 17 points18 points ago

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UNITED!

[–]spinns114 7 points8 points ago

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Also uniting!

[–]potted 9 points10 points ago

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First time I feel relevant, circlejerk upvotes for all!

[–]JimboJet 3 points4 points ago

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UNTIED!

[–]timmydunlop 1 point2 points ago

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Now I feel like the guy on the outside of a team huddle

[–]charming_asshole 1 point2 points ago

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We're turning into Voltron!

[–]melbournian 11 points12 points ago

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Okay.

[–]Hellman109 41 points42 points ago

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[–]Peas_are_evil 13 points14 points ago

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I live on King St. and pass this place several times a week. It smells like cleaning supplies.

[–]josh2992 9 points10 points ago

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You live on King St? I can't make up my mind if that is awesome or bad.

[–]timmydunlop 1 point2 points ago

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Unlimited supply of titty bars? Hows that bad

[–]samthedeer 11 points12 points ago

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Ahh spearmint rhino, we've had some funny times

[–]BrownRaider 10 points11 points ago

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Well, they really weren't times so much as exposures.

[–]bi-cycle 19 points20 points ago

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This is only laugh I've had all day.

yay melbourne...

[–]SAGIND 7 points8 points ago

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was free entry on the weekend...so I hear!

[–]jamurp 3 points4 points ago

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literally 'free boobs'.

[–]SAGIND 1 point2 points ago

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and some free vagoo if you stand in the right place

[–]funkbuddha 7 points8 points ago

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Not even close to Melbourne, but WOOOOOO MOTHA FUCKA

[–]brownfield84 1 point2 points ago

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There's one in Oxnard California so I freaked when I saw the photo cause I drive past the billboard for it multiple times a day.

[–]PipGirl 1 point2 points ago

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I go past it almost everyday, and never put the two together. I feel dumb...

[–]DownvotesGetMeHorny 1 point2 points ago

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We have that in dallas too friend.

[–]DQLouise 75 points76 points ago

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Woo Aussie Work Safe, making Aussie fear their parents won't come home

[–]Phallic 146 points147 points ago

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1 in 3 Australian ads is made by the government and basically goes along the lines of "DON'T DIE. DO NOT DIE OR YOU WILL BE IN A LOT OF TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN."

[–]Hellman109 35 points36 points ago

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For the last few years they are "insert graphic injury here" images.

[–]GloriousDawn 29 points30 points ago

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I can understand the warning considering your flying venomous sharks and other giant toxic spiders you got down there, mate.

[–]RenegadeGypsy 11 points12 points ago

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I believe the drop bear is at the top of the food chain

[–]nomatu18935 6 points7 points ago

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Fact: 1 out of 4 Australians will at some point be killed by a wild animal.

[–]keyser__soze 7 points8 points ago

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at some point?

[–]Nemokles 5 points6 points ago

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Well, they do send their elders out in the wild rather than to retirement homes.

[–]ENKC 1 point2 points ago

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Knifepoint, if they're quick enough.

[–]bldkis 1 point2 points ago

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Don't forget Drop Bears.

[–]xhsdf 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like sound advice.

[–]wannachupbru 1 point2 points ago

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This is - quite possibly - the most I've ever lolled at a reddit comment.

[–][deleted] 24 points25 points ago

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Worksafe and TAC - frightening the shit out of Australian mothers.

[–]animalfarmer 14 points15 points ago

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Now now, let's not forget QUIT. If you smoke, drive or work you will die.

[–]miserygrump 4 points5 points ago

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Everyone seems to have forgotten the greatest scare ad ever made in Australia:

The grim reaper goes bowling.

[–]StezzerLolz 1 point2 points ago

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That is the best ad ever. No exceptions.

[–]jamurp 6 points7 points ago

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there's also those "if you have one drink your son will become an alcoholic" ads. Don't drink apparently.

[–]animalfarmer 3 points4 points ago

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Well all those things happen whilst living, and if you live you die. Therefore, they cause death. Bulletproof.

[–]21Celcius 1 point2 points ago

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My brother died in a high speed accident (he was not the driver) so those car crash ads just devastate me, I can hardly even watch tv because they're on so often. Now that it's summer and I'm in VIC they're trying to traumatize me with bush fire and kid drowning ones.

[–]blk7 1 point2 points ago

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Just mothers? I remember when the first one came on. Just chilling out, watching TV, then WTF?????

They were pretty effective back when you didn't expect it.

Come to think of it, the one where the guy gets his hand trapped in an industrial mincer is pretty disturbing even when you know it's coming.

[–]the_mastubatorium 178 points179 points ago

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So that's where the welfare check went

[–]theamazingkort 95 points96 points ago

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Things are getting so rough that strippers are starting to accept food stamps.

[–]theamazingkort 80 points81 points ago

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Tough crowd in here.

[–]agreewithmyself 41 points42 points ago

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I thought it was funny

[–]ChemicalRascal 14 points15 points ago

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I kinda missed the meat of the joke.

[–]bleakwood 15 points16 points ago

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Critics will lap that one up

[–]3lementaru 12 points13 points ago

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Maybe we should have a pole on it?

[–]EpicBongRips 5 points6 points ago

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It would prolly strip even

[–]TheSubjectChanger 17 points18 points ago

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So how bout them Giants?

[–]agreewithmyself 1 point2 points ago

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Me too

[–]Ocean_Comedian 68 points69 points ago

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[–]FullOfMan 23 points24 points ago

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Good, get it out of your system. In about 1 week all that picture will attract is downvotes and lonely tears.

[–]Ocean_Comedian 161 points162 points ago

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[–]GTCharged 11 points12 points ago

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I downvote most of the eels, but this one I couldn't bring myself to click the down arrow. Congratz sir.

[–]TheNoKarmaComment 6 points7 points ago

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This one looks like Michael Fassbender

[–]willelujah 4 points5 points ago

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it's on funnyjunk so its already overused

[–]Revofev92 2 points3 points ago

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Mushroom stamps?

[–]gigantepicante 5 points6 points ago

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[–]skyrmions 2 points3 points ago

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relevant username?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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They're not called welfare checks in aus.

[–]the_mastubatorium 6 points7 points ago

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I'm sorry, but I'm an egocentric yank. What do the aussies call their welfare check equivalents?

[–]bogybuddy 53 points54 points ago

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The Dole. Then we spend that on cheap beer, A sack of petrol, and poor quality weed.

[–]BreakTheSun 32 points33 points ago

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Upvote for "A sack of petrol"

[–]wankerschnitzel 16 points17 points ago

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Wait, so in Canada milk comes in bags, and in Australia you can get a sack of petrol?

[–]BreakTheSun 49 points50 points ago

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Yes, but you have to transport the sack inside of a rigid vehicle - drop bears are notorious for raiding petrol sacks (this is how the indigenous people caught onto the habbit of "Petrol sniffing", counteracted by opal fuel in high-risk areas)

[–]mershed_perderders 25 points26 points ago

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well, at least I can read the words that you are typing...

[–]BreakTheSun 19 points20 points ago

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makdombles debakerta pandas wibcheengs

[–]mershed_perderders 17 points18 points ago

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Hang on prime minister. I've got to see a man about a wallaby.

[–]Phallic 4 points5 points ago

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No worries.

[–]trashed_culture 9 points10 points ago

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I had only ever heard the term "drop bears" in a Discworld novel before. I assumed it was completely made up by Terry Pratchett, whoops.

[–]wwmwwmwwmwwmwwmwwmww 14 points15 points ago

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Nope. Drop Bears are vicious killers that have adapted to prey on tourists who are too busy looking down on the ground for snakes and spiders than in the trees where the real danger lies.

[–]fogburner 7 points8 points ago*

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You make it seem that the spiders and snakes in Australian aren't a problem. You know as well as I do that the One-eyed Trouser snake is a crafty and hazardous fellow. It's uncanny ability to pick up certain hormones with its senses, is amazing. It is well known, as least I thought it was, that without proper wildlife restrictions and controls in place, it's bite could very well mean a life.

[–]bogybuddy 4 points5 points ago

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Oh no, that's not how it works buddy. A cheap way of getting high in Australia is filling a bottle, or plastic sack, with petrol, and sniffing/inhaling the vapours.

[–]FluffyChihuahua 7 points8 points ago

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welfare direct deposit

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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"NAZI SOCIALISM HITLERMONEY"

[–]shniken 1 point2 points ago*

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Cheque. Also we live in the future. No one uses cheques

[–]Caboteq 77 points78 points ago

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"Where's Mommy?" works too.

[–]wutdephuq 45 points46 points ago

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Don't worry she's only at work.

[–]BearPond 15 points16 points ago

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I hope she is working safe.

[–]djloosefit 1 point2 points ago

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Anybody else immediately think of the Dave Attell Standup?

[–]tfdruid 1 point2 points ago

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Not in Australia.

[–]claymore_kitten 105 points106 points ago

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he's at your future workplace, dear.

[–]DrPeacemaker 39 points40 points ago

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Why do you think so many girls take dance lessons?

[–]yer_momma 61 points62 points ago

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There are two hugely popular strip clubs right next to the USF campus, many girls pay their way through school doing that. And as a compassionate citizen I feel a need to contribute to their college fund on a semi-regular basis.

[–]Sharks77 3 points4 points ago

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I went to USF a few years back for a hockey tourney and we went to a strip club there because we heard it was highly rated. I think it was called 2001 Odyssey or something like that. Anyways, the girls would climb to the top of the poles, get in the splits and drop down. I was very impressed.

[–]FNIC 32 points33 points ago

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I once went there on a Tuesday at 8:00pm. I was the only one there. I felt like a king and all the strippers were there just for me.

[–]bushy82 31 points32 points ago

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i can't imagine they've got their A-gamers on at 8pm.

[–]RetroTheft 27 points28 points ago

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Just their A-cuppers ;)

[–]Reliable-Source 25 points26 points ago

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A cups are illegal in Australia's adult industry.

[–]No_One_Is_Special 1 point2 points ago

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So no cups are legal?

[–]Adsy101 41 points42 points ago

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I LIVE NEAR HERE

[–]xtremeradness 68 points69 points ago

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You're basically famous!

[–]business_cat 15 points16 points ago

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Or skipping out on his children to go to a gentleman's club

[–]ChemicalRascal 5 points6 points ago

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On reddit, it's one and the same.

[–]ANALINGUS_ADVENTURES 5 points6 points ago

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Me too! Wanna go on an adventure?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]amyisgonnakillme 5 points6 points ago

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Cam, my dear boy, I know you get so excited with the melbourne meet ups, understandably, but you seem to have let it divert your attention away from the butt of the joke.

[–]reimg 2 points3 points ago

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Came here to say this, which train line is it on though?

[–]lnicoll100 6 points7 points ago

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werribee/williamstown, between yarraville and spotswood. the billboards are on the westgate bridge.

[–]jamontoast 1 point2 points ago

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I'm about to catch that train! I've never felt so important in my life!

[–]Papasimmons 6 points7 points ago

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There was a top gear UK episode when they went to a gentlemen's club in Slough called the Spearmint Rhino.

[–]GrumpyPenguin 2 points3 points ago

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This one's in Melbourne, Australia. Spearmint Rhino are apparently an international chain...

[–]Papasimmons 1 point2 points ago

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So like the McDonald's of strip clubs?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]TheCuntDestroyer 18 points19 points ago

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And thats why you get drunk before going there!

[–]plxor 16 points17 points ago

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Went there wasted once in Vegas and a friend used his debit card to spend $800 on private dances. I knew it wasn't going to turn out well for him when I saw him walk over to the ATM with 2 strippers. Them girls are pros at get money out of drunks.

[–]pro-marx 10 points11 points ago

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Do you actually think they'll just let you sit there and not buy drinks? "No thanks, I pre-drank, I'm just here for the show, I'll keep my money."

[–]elmariachi304 1 point2 points ago

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There's usually a one drink minimum at strip clubs, but that's it.

[–]virusporn 5 points6 points ago

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The ad on the right ties into this television ad. The ad on the right is, of course, for a strip club in Melbourne's red light district. (though it's a bit disingenious calling it a red light district, it's one street, with half a dozen topless bars/strip clubs and a few nightclubs. In reality, the porn is spread out through the melbourne CBD, and I am continually surprised to turn down yet another alleyway to find yet another seedy club X store.

[–]Gawdzillers 3 points4 points ago

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Jäger.

[–]Freudian_Insinuation 3 points4 points ago

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Yes... where is daddy, one would like to ask? But there are some deeper questions to probe here. What does this image stir up for you? Perhaps you were molested by a billboard at a young age? To know more about this, I must ask you to write the first things that come to your mind for each of the following words:

kumquat

pernicious

innocence

moist

abject

post-mortem

throb

[–]down_with_whomever 1 point2 points ago

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okay, i'll bite.

kumquat: a kiwi cut in half. i don't know what a kumquat looks like.

pernicious: an owl. I forgot what this word means, but it sounds like something an owl would do.

innocence: sorry we couldn't play pirates http://thekoala.org/2011/11/10/sorry-we-couldnt-play-pirates/

moist: butters poking paris hilton's pussy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vryU5gR5-Hw#t=0m22s

abject: poverty

post-mortem: boner

throb: also boner.

So what's my diagnosis, doctor? Am I normal?

[–]nitefang 11 points12 points ago

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What is that an advertisement for?

[–]jooes 43 points44 points ago

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The first one is for a place that promotes safety in the workplace. "Where's Daddy?"... Daddy is dead, sorry little girl...

The second one is for a strip club. Naked ladies dance there.

[–]nitefang 6 points7 points ago

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Oooohhh...I wasn't sure, you'd think people would want to be safe in general. Thanks!

[–]jooes 14 points15 points ago

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Yeah you'd think so, but a lot of places are "productivity is #1" and they kind of push safety aside.... Which is both illegal and unethical, but some places do it anyway because they just don't care.

So, ultimately, what that billboard is trying to get that whole safety message out there by teaching people (especially younger people) about what's safe and not safe, what the laws are, and what your rights are as a worker... Stuff to, you know, help everyone get home at the end of the day.

[–]oboewan42 3 points4 points ago

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My dad works at DuPont and it's the exact opposite there. SAFETY SAFETY SAFETY SAFETY SAFETY all the goddamn time. Mandatory safety meetings with awards and shit. SO SAFE

[–]Helping_ill_educated 4 points5 points ago

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This is the case in Australia, also. The Worksafe ads are targeted mostly at employers. A worksafe inspector can enter any workplace at any time and carry out safety inspections, give advice to employers, prohibit use of dangerous/faulty equipment, recommend prosecutions if all else fails, etc.

It's a good program, imo.

[–]jooes 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, not all places are crappy. There are definitely some great places to work at out there too.

[–]amyisgonnakillme 2 points3 points ago

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It's usually because there's already been a death, unfortunately.

[–]21Celcius 1 point2 points ago

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My father is the general manager off and on at mine sites, as well as long wall co-ordination and his guys get bonuses for no injures, bonuses of a few thousand $ each.

Safety is the quickest way to increase productivity as bad injuries often close down sites which costs a lot of money.

[–]dumpsterbaby69 1 point2 points ago

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Gotta live the dangerous life man

[–]madplayshd 2 points3 points ago

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In Germany we have things like these at the Autobahn or streets that are frequented by (with?) a lot of motorcylists. But I think all the crosses and roses at the side of the road are a more effective reminder.

[–]timmydunlop 1 point2 points ago

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The slogan behind that ad campaign is something like there's other reasons to be safe at work

[–]brownmagician 2 points3 points ago

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HE'S IN THE TREES!!!!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago*

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You see baby, when a man and a woman love each other and have a baby, the man needs something new to look at for nine months, and when he does, he gets very very addicted, and addiction is a sickness. Daddy is a very very sick man, and you want him to get better don't you? That's why he has to get his special rhinoceros spearmint vapo-rub medicine from the nurse on King Street.

[–]nateconq 1 point2 points ago

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I had to research the Spearmint Rhino after this. NSFW

[–]ImTheManOkay 1 point2 points ago

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The Spearmint Rhino in Vegas is... It's a happenin' place....

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That is a damn fine looking sky you got there!

[–]bemundolack 1 point2 points ago

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Spearmint. Rhino.

[–]nepalesedogg 1 point2 points ago

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puurrfect billboard placement

[–]down_with_whomever 1 point2 points ago

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[–]BullNiro 1 point2 points ago

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Marvellous Melbourne, probably the first time I have seen something on facebook before reddit or 4chan etc

[–]danheinz 1 point2 points ago

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i have been to the las vegas spearmint rhino and I can assure you that's probably where daddy is if he had more than $200.

[–]jax362 1 point2 points ago

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Spearmint Rhino is probably the best strip club in Las Vegas (for you out of towners). Many daddies have gone there only to never return home. It is like the Bermuda Triangle of strip clubs.

[–]ale_pato 1 point2 points ago

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"Where he found me a few years ago."

[–]TonyTheBean 1 point2 points ago

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I thought the joke was the expression on the little girls face because it seems like she made daddy go bye bye, but of course its the fucking ad for the gentlemen's club in the background.

[–]stonedchao 1 point2 points ago*

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[–]TurgidDahlia 1 point2 points ago

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It's called Spearmint Rhino because dicks.

[–]nutellahotdog 1 point2 points ago

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Anyone else in Kentucky get a very similar sign...

[–]geek180 1 point2 points ago

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Wow I didn't realize that's a chain. There's one here in Dallas and I've been told it is the best strip club in the city.

[–]vladtheimbiber 1 point2 points ago

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I think we can confirm daddy is not in Melbourne.

[–]behemothaur 1 point2 points ago

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Totally Allanic.

[–]KILL_ALL_THE_JOKES 1 point2 points ago

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Where is he????

[–]ZedZeeZee 1 point2 points ago

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Jager.

[–]fergi85 1 point2 points ago

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Karma Train!

[–]kolled 1 point2 points ago

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He's at the Spearmint Rhino Gentleman's Club?

[–]Hekki27 1 point2 points ago

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I think I missed the joke. I thought the 'where's daddy' was referring to him always being on reddit. Didn't even notice the billboard behind it

[–]palehorse864 1 point2 points ago

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I blame Burmashave.

[–]amberdean5 1 point2 points ago

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hilarious!

[–]Kunta89 1 point2 points ago

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no, seriously, where's Daddy? I don't see him on the other billboard.

[–]Exiatron 1 point2 points ago

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The moment I saw this link, I knew it would be about these billboards. Melbourne, fuck yeah.

[–]jdwag101 1 point2 points ago

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So thats what the Go-daddy Girls are doing now

[–]The_Smeow_is_Mine 1 point2 points ago

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Daddy is at Spearmint Rhino Gentleman's Club

[–]korrekturlack 1 point2 points ago

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People never think of how things affect the families of a henchman.

[–]assman_69 1 point2 points ago

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Australians all let us rejoice For we are young and free We've golden soil and wealth for toil, Our home is girt by sea: Our land abounds in nature's gifts Of beauty rich and rare, In history's page let every stage Advance Australia fair, In joyful strains then let us sing Advance Australia fair.

[–]6576125 1 point2 points ago

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Makes me proud to live in Melbourne

[–]Poncyhair 1 point2 points ago

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I've stumbled into that time of night when Australia takes over reddit, haven't I?

[–]keyser__soze 1 point2 points ago

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At the board meeting, "So we only have a few names left to choose from, top choices are Lushious Ladies, Sensual Secrets and.....Spearmint Rhino"

[–]MrJibaku 1 point2 points ago

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Spearmint Rhino...sounds like a new bubbalicious flavor.

[–]StezzerLolz 1 point2 points ago

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Tasteless: You're doing it right.

[–]nick27545 1 point2 points ago

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DUDE IS THIS IN SPOTSWOOD?

[–]Tina_Venus 1 point2 points ago

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MELBOURNE

[–]HireALLTheThings 1 point2 points ago

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TIL you can name your stripclub by pulling random nouns out of a hat.

[–]nickateen 1 point2 points ago

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As in the Spearmint Rhino from BBC Top Gear?!?!!?!!

[–]dotikk 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know how to take this. It's either..

"Where's Daddy".. Oh at the gentlemens club

or

"Where's Daddy"...fast forward X number of years where little girl is a stripper because of daddy issues.