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all 127 comments

[–]Zangetsu_Beauty 55 points56 points ago

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His face makes me happy.

[–]P8ntBal1551 10 points11 points ago

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didn't lol until the last picture

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Takei has just gotten comically swanky since he came out. Love it.

[–]pterid 0 points1 point ago

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Is it just me wondering about the awesome 40-year career in comedy he could have had in some not-so-different universe?

[–]Wild_Rager 3 points4 points ago

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[–]alliha 71 points72 points ago

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speaking to myself

I don't get it, it just says no "F" in wa- ohhhhhhhhhhhhh

[–]NotSoGoodAtPhotoshop 20 points21 points ago

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Thank you! :D

[–]Bloodthunder 15 points16 points ago

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I had to say this out loud three times even after reading your comment :<

[–]ChickenFarmer 5 points6 points ago

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Non-native speaker here. I still don't get it!

[–]Octopuscabbage 3 points4 points ago

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When people want to say fucking but in a more polite way they say effing. The joke here is that a safeway bag is far to small to put an elephant into so there is no fucking way you could put it in there, but to make the joke work they took some letters out so it was "no f in way" or how you would say it out loud "no effin' way"

[–]Octopuscabbage 1 point2 points ago

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Also a safeway bag is a grocery store bag, like the plastic shit ones you get in grocery stores.

[–]Ambiguous_Figures 1 point2 points ago

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there is no 'effin' way is all i got. that doesn't seem very funny to me, but i am a huge prune that might be why i'm not laughing. or it could be that i don't get it and the actual joking is going right over my head.

[–]LukeLukez 2 points3 points ago

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Wait a minute; you're a huge prune? I have so many questions.

[–]Ambiguous_Figures 0 points1 point ago

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My mother is a pear and my father is an orange. Apparently the combo makes a prune.

[–]ncjenkin -2 points-1 points ago

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How do you get an elephant in a safe way bag? There's no effing way!

I hate "effing". Why not just say fucking?

[–]b0jangles 1 point2 points ago

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Because then the joke wouldn't make any sense...

[–]obliterationn 84 points85 points ago

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what

[–]KrishnaS124 32 points33 points ago

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there's no effin way

as in no fuckin way

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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ITS FUNNY...

[–]BreakfastBurrito 6 points7 points ago

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OH I GET IT NOW

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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There's no "F" in way.

[–]WarPhalange 0 points1 point ago

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It's one of those shitty jokes, that's what.

[–]brad_harless2010 19 points20 points ago

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I've never even heard of a safeway bag.

[–]ziplokk 8 points9 points ago

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Safeway is a grocery store here in Texas. It may be in more states but i have no idea. But a "Safeway Bag" is just a bag from the grocery store.

[–]Bullranger 20 points21 points ago*

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Also use to be a supermarket in the U.K before it was taken over by Morrison's Waitrose.

[–]EzanaG 1 point2 points ago

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In Australia they got replaced by Woolworth's.

[–]apox64928 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Colostomy 1 point2 points ago

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Love me some o' that tasty chicken. Yo'.

[–]Im_Gonna_Say_No -5 points-4 points ago

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no

[–]apox64928 2 points3 points ago

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you just started... it's gonna take a while. maybe years. maybe never.

[–]Im_Gonna_Say_No -4 points-3 points ago

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no

time is no object to me. I already posses understanding of this universe that would baffle your pathetic mind full of futile affirmations, silly goose.

[–]Colostomy 0 points1 point ago

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Do you understand how to capitalize letters other than 'I' on a keyboard?

[–]Im_Gonna_Say_No -1 points0 points ago

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no

i think all letters should be on the same level, fewl.

[–]vitamenc -1 points0 points ago

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not enough potential kid. Back to the drawing board

[–]SteelCity 0 points1 point ago

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It wasn't taken over by morrisons up North, all of our Safeways became Waitrose.

[–]Bullranger 0 points1 point ago

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Oops same down South my bad :)

[–]guice666 3 points4 points ago

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In TX? Never ran into a single Safeway in Dallas area. But they were the main chain in Colorado (Colorado Springs & Denver).

[–]ziplokk 1 point2 points ago

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Yup. Used to be everywhere in Houston. I haven't lived there in a couple years though. I live in Austin now, and all we have here are HEBs and Central Markets.

[–]PenPenGuin 0 points1 point ago

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Safeway died out in the late 80's / early 90's in the Dallas area I believe. There might have been a few stragglers that made it to the mid 90's. There was a big influx of grocery stores around then, and they all imploded. We had Safeways, Food Lions, Skaggs Alpha-Beta -> Jewel Osco -> Albertsons in addition to the current crop of survivors. It was the era of double/triple/quadruple coupons and questionable quality meat products.

[–]viscountprawn 1 point2 points ago

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They're in Canada too.

[–]thehero29 1 point2 points ago

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To elaborate, they are everywhere in western Canada.

[–]DrJulianBashir 0 points1 point ago

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And in eastern Canada too. There's a bunch in Toronto, and some in small towns too. One replaced the IGA in my town.

[–]Unicorn_Destruction 0 points1 point ago

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All over Oregon.

[–]thehero29 0 points1 point ago

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I'm sorry, I was born and raised in Newfoundland. Ontario is Central Canada.

[–]DrJulianBashir 0 points1 point ago

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Fair enough. Does that mean there are no Safeways in NF?

[–]thehero29 0 points1 point ago

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nada. and from what I understand, none further east than Ontario, maybe some in Quebec, but who wants to look for anything there?

[–]DrJulianBashir 0 points1 point ago

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Safeway only seems to have started appearing in Ontario in the last 5-10 years. Perhaps they'll continue pushing east?

[–]thehero29 0 points1 point ago

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Safeway has been in Alberta for a long time. It started in the west somewhere, and as any company, growth is what they want. I imagine they will make it out there soon enough.

[–]thehero29 1 point2 points ago

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Safeway is big in western Canada. They're everywhere

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I live in Virginia, I can confirm.

[–]tedkong 1 point2 points ago

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We have Safeway in Colorado. However the number is diminishing due to the mega walmarts and and the need to buy Mcdonalds at the same place you buy food...

[–]Gark32 0 points1 point ago

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also AZ, and i've seen them in NM and CA.

[–]iNNeRKaoS 0 points1 point ago

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There are two in the small city of Grande Prairie, Canada.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I live in Texas but have never heard of Safeway. Then again, Texas is humongous. HEB is my grocery store of choice.

[–]i_has_dubstepilepsy 0 points1 point ago

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It's only in the west coast. Colorado has like, 15.

[–]mistressofmischief 0 points1 point ago

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We also have them all over Canada. And by all over I mean in the towns I have lived in in British Columbia and Alberta.

[–]glennerooo 0 points1 point ago

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They're also all over Southern California.

[–]EV99 15 points16 points ago

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By the way: The joke is "No effin' way"

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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I love when people tell me this joke, because I can pretend I don't know the punchline and make them look dumb stumbling trying to get me to say the right thing.

"Take the 's' out of 'safe' and the 'f' out of 'way'."

"I don't know what that means."

"Take the letter 's' out of the word 'safe'. What do you get?"

"Uh... 'afe'?"

"Okay, now take the 'f' out of the word 'way'."

"There's no letter 'f' in that word."

"..."

[–]Nanoo_1972 3 points4 points ago

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Oh MY!

[–]pheonstar 4 points5 points ago

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oh my...

[–]HikaruSulu 2 points3 points ago

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Ohhh myyy

[–]oh_no_a_hobo 2 points3 points ago

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Yeessss

[–]darkzora 0 points1 point ago

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Oh no!

[–]Mr_FuM 5 points6 points ago

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What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhino?

[–]jasonskjonsby 2 points3 points ago

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Elep if I know?

[–]AnonymouserRedditor[S] 3 points4 points ago

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elephino Hell if I know?!

[–]ExogenBreach 2 points3 points ago

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I WOULDN'T HAVE A CLUE

[–]20_percent_cooler 0 points1 point ago

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[–]keirasen 2 points3 points ago

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I remember watching this clip at the Social Security office. That place made me feel like I was back in communist Russia...

[–]Timmmmm 1 point2 points ago

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Came to post this. Recently went to the Social Security office and saw this clip on repeat for the whole 4 hours I was there. And yeah it makes me feel like I'm in a "People of Wal-Mart" version of communist Russia.

[–]hephaestion2 3 points4 points ago

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Just tried it and got the response "Way doesn't have an 'f' in it". Damn

[–]briefcase_wanker 0 points1 point ago

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Didn't understand until I read you reply! There's no f in way!

[–]SchokoDami 2 points3 points ago

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As a german, I don't understand this.

[–]bobthecrusher 0 points1 point ago

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A safeway bag is grocery store bag, but that doesn't matter, it's just a way to set up the joke. The joke itself is that she accidently said 'No F in way' which sounds like 'No effin way' which is a cute way of saying 'no fucking way'

The scene itself is pulled from a social security office video explaining the internet or something

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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oh, i was looking for something more...

[–]SchokoDami 0 points1 point ago

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Ah, okay, cool, thanks :)

[–]daRoach 4 points5 points ago

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Needs more eel.

[–]rejecticon 4 points5 points ago

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Thank you so much for posting this. I have a memory of overhearing a version of this joke from kids at school and then repeating it to my brother completely wrong, but still not realizing that I had botched the joke. So I just figured what I had overheard was nonsense that I felt like repeating because I'm retarded/wanted to be in the cool kids club. So, anyway, thanks for letting me know what the original joke was and that it didn't really matter if I had gotten it right or wrong because it's terrible either way.

[–]MyWeekendShoes 1 point2 points ago

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Haven't heard that one in a while.

I still lol'd.

[–]dtr23 1 point2 points ago

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[–]sebdef 1 point2 points ago

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My math teacher told me that joke in 10th grade. Still one of the funniest I've ever heard.

[–]OverzealousPanda 3 points4 points ago

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Am I missing something?

[–]AnonymouserRedditor[S] 7 points8 points ago

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There's no F'in way.

Does that help?

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points ago

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Oh, so it just wasn't funny.

[–]Ukkie 19 points20 points ago

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[–]IridiumRing 4 points5 points ago

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Came looking for that. Nice.

[–]iiyama0 5 points6 points ago

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Did you clean up afterwards?

[–]OverzealousPanda 6 points7 points ago

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Pretty much.

[–]solarsavior 1 point2 points ago

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Guess I'm not awake this morning yet. (still drinking coffee) I laughed and laughed like one does to stupid shit when they're tired.

[–]Spire 1 point2 points ago

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This is what happens when you keep telling people to get the F out of the way.

[–]bananinhao 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Limefruit 0 points1 point ago

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Don't understand it but it sure was funny.

[–]BaronLaladedo 0 points1 point ago

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.....o shit it took me a while. I swear im getting dumber every day.

[–]The39thDOE 0 points1 point ago

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Old joke, upvoted for that face.

[–]Cathcart22 0 points1 point ago

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I think that all who read this, read it in his voice.

[–]Jakasaurus 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know why but this is way funnier than it should be.

[–]Only_Says_Meh 0 points1 point ago

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Meh

[–]anne_elizabethh 0 points1 point ago

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i had a physics teacher in high school who was possibly the dumbest human being i ever met (yes, my teacher)..we were stalling class and telling jokes and i started telling this one and said "how do you fit an elephant in a subway?" "i dont know how do you?" "you take the s out of sub and the f out of way.." "HAHAHAHA that IS a good one..now back to class you guys" -__-

[–]CanaCorn 0 points1 point ago

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This is my go-to joke but use "subway"

[–]chudez 0 points1 point ago

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read that in Sulu's voice. surreal

[–]roobens 0 points1 point ago

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Just tried this on my gf:

Me: Take the f out of way.
GF: :|
Me: Take the f out of way.
GF: Wat. You can't do that.
Me: I knew that wouldn't work.

[–]Polamolecules 1 point2 points ago

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To combat this...

If someone says "you can't" just ask Why not? or What do you mean?

[–]spb10e 0 points1 point ago

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Takei strikes again!

[–]rachieduffie 0 points1 point ago

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this took me a second, but i finally got it

[–]IceOnFire97 0 points1 point ago

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OHHHHHHHHH i get it now!

[–]dhoomsday 0 points1 point ago

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smells like updog in here.

[–]Dovahkiin421 0 points1 point ago

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Whats up do- OH I SEE WHAT YOU DID THAR!

[–]Famouszjay23 0 points1 point ago

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lol

[–]I_like_boxes 0 points1 point ago

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My brothers and I told this joke to our dad a few years back. He never got it.

He never once got it. He kept saying it. Over and over and over again.

[–]nucca35 0 points1 point ago

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I have been trying this joke for years.

most people reply with "sae way"

...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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NO

[–]Polamolecules 0 points1 point ago

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I've always heard it....

How do you get an elephant up a flagpole? [pause] I'll give you a hint, take the 'F' out of 'way'

There's no need for the "safe" part from the original post.

[–]MrZed 0 points1 point ago

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I don't get it. Now I'm mad.

[–]MrZed 0 points1 point ago

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What the fuck.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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does safeway even exist anymore?

[–]Dovahkiin421 -3 points-2 points ago

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Did anyone else read this in his voice?

[–]dfinch 11 points12 points ago

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No. You're special.

[–]blurio 0 points1 point ago

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I guess i didn't get it, cause in other countries people just say "fucking way" :/

[–]mikuo314 -4 points-3 points ago

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His face should be made into a meme

[–]dez4u -1 points0 points ago

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Wait. Is that from those awful Social Security ads?

[–]rexroll -3 points-2 points ago

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Did you say it in an asian accent in your head? Makes it wayyyy better.

[–]caizer68 -2 points-1 points ago

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did anyone else read that in their voices?