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The bible: edited for content (i.imgur.com)
submitted 8 months ago by Sandcrabsailor
[–]kman48 43 points44 points45 points 8 months ago
No tattoos either. Damn we can't do anything!
[–]Brettersson 29 points30 points31 points 8 months ago
can't play with pig's skin, so no football, don't tell texas though!
[–]ForrestFireDW 48 points49 points50 points 8 months ago
or tebow...
[–]EltaninAntenna 10 points11 points12 points 8 months ago
I wonder if somebody has ever pointed this out to him.
[–]ghostbackwards 13 points14 points15 points 8 months ago
Don't. They aren't made that way anymore. And when they were they were made with pig bladder.
[–]TheBlackVoltronLion -3 points-2 points-1 points 8 months ago
And I'll form the head!
[–]jaygibby22 -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
who is this guy?
[–]Biclops11 10 points11 points12 points 8 months ago
Footballs are not pig skin
[–]hugo_tets 20 points21 points22 points 8 months ago
you mean handegg.
[–]Hamelin121 -25 points-24 points-23 points 8 months ago
Pisses me off when Europeans/Other side of the world does this. Its called football whether you like it or not.
[–]Calsendon 9 points10 points11 points 8 months ago
It's still Handegg. Or Handtesticle, if you prefer.
[–]Hamelin121 -13 points-12 points-11 points 8 months ago
False.
NFL = National FOOTBALL League
[–]tomoom165 8 points9 points10 points 8 months ago
You're an idiot.
[–]wilze221 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
The point of calling it handegg is that calling American "football" football doesn't make any sense, and soccer/football is a game actually played with your feet and a ball shaped ball.
[–]_newtothis 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Not to start a whole hubbub about this but football is any sport played on your feet instead of on horseback.
[–]Hamelin121 -10 points-9 points-8 points 8 months ago
Oh i totally understand why it was said. But that is not the correct name of the sport so you can all lick my nads ;)
[–]idio3 -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
WAR IS PEACE, FREEDOM IS SLAVERY, IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH! Yeah, just because someone calls something a certain name, doesn't mean it is that ;).
[–]Hamelin121 -2 points-1 points0 points 8 months ago
haha its not someone its a whole league. Your argument is flawed mostly because none of those are nouns.
[–]MunchKing 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
You probably think that China is actually a Republic.
[–]_newtothis 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
They could say the same about us calling football soccer.
[–]MunchKing 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
I live in Washington state and I call it handegg.
[–]hugo_tets 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
I'm actually American but okay.
[–]Beaver420 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Obligatory West Wing clip
[–]c0pypastry 71 points72 points73 points 8 months ago
Holy shit so gay hair stylists are like... ultrasinners?
[–]Teuthex 51 points52 points53 points 8 months ago
INCEPSIN
[–]mrdizzy 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
SINCEPTION
[–]JohnM90 7 points8 points9 points 8 months ago
INSERTION
[–]TheOnlyAshta 8 points9 points10 points 8 months ago
Imagine the ones that eat seafood too! shutters
[–]emizeko 10 points11 points12 points 8 months ago
Why would you close your shutters?
[–]idiotthethird 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
Duh, he was opening them.
[–]Captainpatch 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago*
He wants to get a good view of the gay man wearing blended fabrics and eating crab while cutting hair on the sabbath. Ultrasinning is his fetish.
[–]Larillia 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
It's not seafood. It's shellfish.
[–]EltaninAntenna 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
Are you suggesting seafood is generous?
[–]jaurk 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
Seafood is very shellfish.
[–]DeathToUnicorns -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
No.. I think it cancels out somehow..
[–]Thor_is_god 95 points96 points97 points 8 months ago
In summary: the bible says a lot of stupid shit.
[–]istillfeelyou 10 points11 points12 points 8 months ago
There's some good common sense in there as well...
But mainly stupid shit.
[–]mrthbrd 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago
I think you're also only allowed to eat specific kinds of bird.
[–]jordanTRC 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
Bird law in this country is not governed by reason.
[–]istillfeelyou 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago
Pretty sure crab's out as well.
[–]mrdizzy 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
What about Krabby Patties?
[–]Gibodean 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago
Like bat?
[–]leviticus11 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
No owls, no bats! Source: username
[–]ItsNotWhat-YouThink -11 points-10 points-9 points 8 months ago
Relevant.
[–]mrthbrd 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
I don't think I like you.
[–]iliketoeatmudkipz 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Jeez, at least mark NSFW.
Although in hindsight, I should have read your username first.
[–]jmf145 29 points30 points31 points 8 months ago
1 Corinthians 11:14
Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him,
Ezekiel 44:20
They shall not shave their heads or let their locks grow long; they shall surely trim the hair of their heads.
http://i.imgur.com/Bmkgr.jpg
[–]Richas 11 points12 points13 points 8 months ago
Does not nature itself teach you that if a man wears long hair it is a disgrace for him
Jesus had long hair, so then Jesus was a sinner and in disgrace?
[–]DeathToUnicorns 12 points13 points14 points 8 months ago
Well we just assume Jesus had long hair because of paintings made 1500 years after his life...
[–]Siverix 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
300 years
[–]thestraylightpun 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
He had a fro.
[–]ReoinMahBoat 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
I think we can assume Jesus looked something like this http://imgur.com/ZeSyP
[–]Aavagadrro 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Or perhaps like this:
[–]missiontothemoon 1 point2 points3 points 7 months ago
Whoa - wasn't expecting that
[–]Aschebescher 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
How do we know he had long hair?
[–]j12601 18 points19 points20 points 8 months ago
Because we've all seen the piece of toast that the lord made in his likeness. Duh.
[–]mrthbrd 8 points9 points10 points 8 months ago
The same way we know that he had light brown hair and was white.
[–]cynognathus 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
And had the bluest of eyes.
[–][deleted] 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Jesus was from the middle east, assuming looks haven't changed much in a millenia you can assume he looked like a dark burly dark haired man. I'm basing this off the fact that most people with a lot of melanin in their skin typically have dark hair and burly because he was a carpenter by trade. The rouge wearing Jesus that you normally see being depicted with long straight hair is more than likely wrong but there is a large chance that I am wrong too so yeah.
[–]namith 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
Ezekiel 44 refers specifically to Jewish priests.
[–]jf_ftw 88 points89 points90 points 8 months ago
goddamn faggots quoting scripture to prove their point, may they burn in hell! /s
[–]EltaninAntenna 25 points26 points27 points 8 months ago
"Heaven for the weather, Hell for the company". -- Mark Twain.
[–]okocive 10 points11 points12 points 8 months ago
I'm sure they'll love it there, I hear Hell is warm this time of year.
[–]cameronxcrazy 11 points12 points13 points 8 months ago
One might even say it's fabulous.
[–]jeepbraah 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
booty shorts and short shirts? sounds like a gay paradise.
[–]Dear_Unicorn 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
Contrary to popular belief, not all gay men are Miami house boys circa 1990.
[–]iSurvivedthe2000s 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
b-but stereotypes make different people so much easier to comprehend!
[–]Dear_Unicorn 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
But I prefer cold climates so I can layer. :(
[–]LeeroyJenkins11 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
The beginning of the chapter says 2“Give the following instructions to the entire community of Israel.
Leviticus 19
So that would be a classic case of something taken out of context to promote ones agenda.
[–]Daemon_of_Mail 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
They should at least quote it correctly. The part about cutting hair is more specific than just "don't cut your hair". Orthodox Jews, for example, follow that verse by never trimming their sideburns, nor shaving their beards.
[–]DownvotesGrowMyPenis -23 points-22 points-21 points 8 months ago
came here to say this, if they actually read the bible correct they would kno it was about speicific haircut beucase of the times to want to cut not with length for cultural, but of course they pick a the verse out of the contest to prove a point .
[–]Calsendon 8 points9 points10 points 8 months ago
Assuming you're not a troll, your illiteracy proves our point.
[–]BullNiro 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
Clever to on purpose that comment...
[–]rockstarking -17 points-16 points-15 points 8 months ago
He is not quoting any scripture. Any Biblical reference he is attempting to make is too out of context to make any sense.
[–][deleted] 9 points10 points11 points 8 months ago
Lev 19:27 http://bible.cc/leviticus/19-27.htm
Yes, it is just for some of your hair, and parts of your beard. Round haircuts piss off God.
[–]Knights_Hemplar 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
You mean to say god is not cool with an afro? He is down a notch in my book!
[–][deleted] 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago
Or if your wife grabs a man's nuts to save your life. That's a hand that must be chopped off. Deuteronomy 25:11-12. And show no pity, god would be mad.
[–]elektra25 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
When I was in third grade at my catholic grade school I found this verse while looking through my bible. From then on out during my entire career as a student there I made it a point to find other ridiculous verses just like it. Hilarity ensued.
[–]a_can_of_solo 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
the mullet is a sin, and I am ok with that.
[–]Ensvey 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
hm I guess this passage explains why orthodox Jews wear their hair like they do
[–]Teuthex 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Any Biblical reference is too out of context to make any sense.
FTFY.
[–]alragusa 7 points8 points9 points 8 months ago
Reverend Lovejoy: Y'ever sat down and read this thing? Technically we're not supposed to go to the bathroom.
[–]UnholyGeezer 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Well, shit.
[–]tinkyXIII 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Not on God's watch, bucko.
[–]MUGARO 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
Didn't that only apply to a certain type of Jew, like Sampson, and then he lost his super powers when he got his hair cut?
Or am I confusing that with something else?
[–]TheOnlyAshta 10 points11 points12 points 8 months ago
Confusing it with something else. That is a story in the Bible, but this is a specific verse from Leviticus, pertaining to everyone.
[–][deleted] 8 months ago
[deleted]
[–]nermid 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Didn't his hair spontaneously regrow, and then he tore the roof of a building and beat people with it?
Samson was totally the Jewish Superman.
[–]AnonymousJ 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Pre-crisis?
[–]rockstarking -3 points-2 points-1 points 8 months ago
That would be a Nazirite.
Many of the DO NOTs in Leviticus have the context of health, sanitation, and distancing the people of Israel from the man pagan practices of the time. I've heard it said before and I will say it again: "It took God 40 days to get Israel out of Egypt, but it took 40 years to get Egypt out of Israel" (or something like that)
[–]mxms87 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
It wasn't all hair cuts it was just a certain style. Basically how most every male has his hair cut now would be considered "immoral" by God's standards. It's said in the same context as homosexuality too.
[–]SgtBaxter 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Mainly styles worn by Egyptians, Arabs and others that were for honoring other gods.
It does not say don't get hair cuts.
[–]W357Y 11 points12 points13 points 8 months ago
Biblical quote please?
[–]le_poc 59 points60 points61 points 8 months ago
New International Version (©1984) "'Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.
New Living Translation (©2007) "Do not trim off the hair on your temples or trim your beards.
English Standard Version (©2001) You shall not round off the hair on your temples or mar the edges of your beard.
New American Standard Bible (©1995) 'You shall not round off the side-growth of your heads nor harm the edges of your beard.
King James Bible (Cambridge Ed.) Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
GOD'S WORD® Translation (©1995) "Never shave the hair on your foreheads, and never cut the edges of your beard.
King James 2000 Bible (©2003) You shall not shave around the sides of your heads, neither shall you disfigure the corners of your beard.
American King James Version You shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shall you mar the corners of your beard.
American Standard Version Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
Douay-Rheims Bible Nor shall you cut your hair roundwise: nor shave your beard.
Darby Bible Translation ye shall not shave the corners of your head round, neither shalt thou mutilate the corners of thy beard.
English Revised Version Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
Webster's Bible Translation Ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shalt thou mar the corners of thy beard.
World English Bible "'You shall not cut the hair on the sides of your heads, neither shall you clip off the edge of your beard.
Young's Literal Translation 'Ye do not round the corner of your head, nor destroy the corner of thy beard.
[–]Satogkit 32 points33 points34 points 8 months ago
The number of Bible translations... is TOO DAMN HIGH
[–]ghostbackwards 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
What a joke, right?
[–]ForrestFireDW 14 points15 points16 points 8 months ago
Its basically saying you have to look like an orthodox jew like this hence why orthodox practice this.
[–]Alex-the-3217th 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
I was going to make a joke about this but... too easy.
[–]RockinHawkin 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
Why don't you just shave it for later?
[–]Alex-the-3217th 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
I'm afraid I'd be Jewed out for it.
Biblical Mutton Chops!
[–]MonkeysOnMyBottom 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Hey if god had wanted your head to be round he would have made your skull round.... oh
It refers to certain styles of haircuts the arabs and egyptians would use to honor their gods.
[–]skepticofskeptics 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Yes but what is the context? Who isn't supposed to cut their hair? Jew, Gentiles, a subclass of Jews?
[–]Kilane 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
It's difficult to give context because it is a list of things you shouldn't do. This particular one is #27. As you can see, there is also a smattering of other rules that are followed along with many that aren't.
1 The LORD said to Moses,
2 “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.
3 “‘Each of you must respect your mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths. I am the LORD your God.
4 “‘Do not turn to idols or make metal gods for yourselves. I am the LORD your God.
5 “‘When you sacrifice a fellowship offering to the LORD, sacrifice it in such a way that it will be accepted on your behalf. 6 It shall be eaten on the day you sacrifice it or on the next day; anything left over until the third day must be burned up. 7 If any of it is eaten on the third day, it is impure and will not be accepted. 8 Whoever eats it will be held responsible because they have desecrated what is holy to the LORD; they must be cut off from their people.
9 “‘When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. 10 Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. I am the LORD your God.
11 “‘Do not steal.
“‘Do not lie.
“‘Do not deceive one another.
12 “‘Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.
13 “‘Do not defraud or rob your neighbor.
“‘Do not hold back the wages of a hired worker overnight.
14 “‘Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God. I am the LORD.
15 “‘Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.
16 “‘Do not go about spreading slander among your people.
“‘Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life. I am the LORD.
17 “‘Do not hate a fellow Israelite in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in their guilt.
18 “‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.
19 “‘Keep my decrees.
“‘Do not mate different kinds of animals.
“‘Do not plant your field with two kinds of seed.
“‘Do not wear clothing woven of two kinds of material.
20 “‘If a man sleeps with a female slave who is promised to another man but who has not been ransomed or given her freedom, there must be due punishment.[a] Yet they are not to be put to death, because she had not been freed. 21 The man, however, must bring a ram to the entrance to the tent of meeting for a guilt offering to the LORD. 22 With the ram of the guilt offering the priest is to make atonement for him before the LORD for the sin he has committed, and his sin will be forgiven.
23 “‘When you enter the land and plant any kind of fruit tree, regard its fruit as forbidden.[b] For three years you are to consider it forbidden[c]; it must not be eaten. 24 In the fourth year all its fruit will be holy, an offering of praise to the LORD. 25 But in the fifth year you may eat its fruit. In this way your harvest will be increased. I am the LORD your God.
26 “‘Do not eat any meat with the blood still in it.
“‘Do not practice divination or seek omens.
27 “‘Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard.
28 “‘Do not cut your bodies for the dead or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the LORD.
29 “‘Do not degrade your daughter by making her a prostitute, or the land will turn to prostitution and be filled with wickedness.
30 “‘Observe my Sabbaths and have reverence for my sanctuary. I am the LORD.
31 “‘Do not turn to mediums or seek out spiritists, for you will be defiled by them. I am the LORD your God.
32 “‘Stand up in the presence of the aged, show respect for the elderly and revere your God. I am the LORD.
33 “‘When a foreigner resides among you in your land, do not mistreat them. 34 The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.
35 “‘Do not use dishonest standards when measuring length, weight or quantity. 36 Use honest scales and honest weights, an honest ephah[d] and an honest hin.[e] I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt.
37 “‘Keep all my decrees and all my laws and follow them. I am the LORD.’
[–]skepticofskeptics 7 points8 points9 points 8 months ago
[–]Composre 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Context is verse 2. It is meant to be all Israelites, or those "ethnically god's chosen."
As for the rest of us, we can gobble as many dicks and vaginas as we want, and eat all the unclean pork we want.
[–]Kilane 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
No, it is meant to be given to followers of the faith.
The reasoning given is that God is holy and thus you should be too. There is no reason that it would be applicable only to a small subset of the faith. Other than of course the obvious, following rules is cumbersome and the vast majority of Christians choose to not follow them.
Also, it is important to keep in mind this is the old testament. There is no reason to draw a line between israelites and anyone else.
[–]FuriousApe 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Where does it say that this is meant for followers of the faith?
[–]Kilane 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
I don't really care one way or the other. So let's try it your way.
Leviticus 18 1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘I am the LORD your God. 3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. 4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God. 5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the person who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD. 6 “‘No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD. 7 “‘Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her. 8 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father. 9 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere. 10 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonor you. 11 “‘Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister. 12 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative. 13 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is your mother’s close relative. 14 “‘Do not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt. 15 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; do not have relations with her. 16 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother. 17 “‘Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness. 18 “‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living. 19 “‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period. 20 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her. 21 “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molek, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD. 22 “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable. 23 “‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion. 24 “‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. 25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. 26 But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the foreigners residing among you must not do any of these detestable things, 27 for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. 28 And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you. 29 “‘Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people. 30 Keep my requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the LORD your God.’”
Leviticus 18
1 The LORD said to Moses, 2 “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘I am the LORD your God. 3 You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. 4 You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the LORD your God. 5 Keep my decrees and laws, for the person who obeys them will live by them. I am the LORD. 6 “‘No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.
7 “‘Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother. She is your mother; do not have relations with her.
8 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s wife; that would dishonor your father.
9 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your sister, either your father’s daughter or your mother’s daughter, whether she was born in the same home or elsewhere.
10 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your son’s daughter or your daughter’s daughter; that would dishonor you.
11 “‘Do not have sexual relations with the daughter of your father’s wife, born to your father; she is your sister.
12 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your father’s sister; she is your father’s close relative.
13 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your mother’s sister, because she is your mother’s close relative.
14 “‘Do not dishonor your father’s brother by approaching his wife to have sexual relations; she is your aunt.
15 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your daughter-in-law. She is your son’s wife; do not have relations with her.
16 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your brother’s wife; that would dishonor your brother.
17 “‘Do not have sexual relations with both a woman and her daughter. Do not have sexual relations with either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter; they are her close relatives. That is wickedness.
18 “‘Do not take your wife’s sister as a rival wife and have sexual relations with her while your wife is living.
19 “‘Do not approach a woman to have sexual relations during the uncleanness of her monthly period.
20 “‘Do not have sexual relations with your neighbor’s wife and defile yourself with her.
21 “‘Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molek, for you must not profane the name of your God. I am the LORD.
22 “‘Do not have sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman; that is detestable.
23 “‘Do not have sexual relations with an animal and defile yourself with it. A woman must not present herself to an animal to have sexual relations with it; that is a perversion.
24 “‘Do not defile yourselves in any of these ways, because this is how the nations that I am going to drive out before you became defiled. 25 Even the land was defiled; so I punished it for its sin, and the land vomited out its inhabitants. 26 But you must keep my decrees and my laws. The native-born and the foreigners residing among you must not do any of these detestable things, 27 for all these things were done by the people who lived in the land before you, and the land became defiled. 28 And if you defile the land, it will vomit you out as it vomited out the nations that were before you.
29 “‘Everyone who does any of these detestable things—such persons must be cut off from their people. 30 Keep my requirements and do not follow any of the detestable customs that were practiced before you came and do not defile yourselves with them. I am the LORD your God.’”
I'll show the church picks and chooses verses either way. Doesn't really matter.
[–]samisbond 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Well obviously it applies to anyone of the cult of YHWH, the problem is it makes no sense. YHWH was a tribal god of the Israelites. They were his chosen people. He didn't really give a shit about anyone else.
What are you talking about?
The link is to a man who is protesting the churches stance on homosexuality. The church has their stance on homosexuality due to the verse I just linked. Both verses are directions for Israelites yet only one is followed.
You can't have it one way one verse and the opposite way the very next verse. If you're not against homosexuality due to this verse then this thread isn't about you. If you are, then you're against haircuts or you're a hypocrite. I don't care which way you interpret the verse but pick one.
[–]Composre 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
I'm sorry, but I must disagree. I'd love to have a more lengthy discussion, but I'm unable to. The majority of why I disagree is because it seems though you're equating modern Judaism with past Judaism. Most if not all rules were indeed to be "holy" as God (or god, however one believes) but also were created for perpetuation of the Jewish (colloquially Israelite) race.
There was no need for Gentiles, Kushites, Canaanites, etcetera, to even follow these rules because they were seen as we view animals; no soul. They weren't of the blood of Abraham, nor King David, essentially the proverbial holy grail (blood line).
It wasn't until Christ (or Mithra, or Appolonius, or the slew of the prophets/messiahs that appeared) that the Gentiles and all races were permitted into a Godly realm (IE: Kingdom of God/Kingdom of Heaven -- again, how one would want to believe).
The history goes even deeper, with the creation of Christianity. The Christo we know of as today wasn't even conceptualized until 400AD~ when Roman Emperor Constantine meshed Mithraism and Judaism to create this modern Christian Mythos.
That's about all I can write up right now, I've got to head out. Basic point: we aren't ethnically Jewish, so we are unable to go to the kingdom of heaven/god (these are two separate places defined by the Mythos). These rituals were created so a Jewish man/woman would be clean enough to enter into God's presence. It's a moot point to even try; we have no soul.
[–]Kilane 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
You're missing the larger point. Either they all apply or none of them apply. If you want to say none of them apply that's fine but then Christianity needs to get off this "homosexuality is a sin" idea.
That is my whole point, and I explained it with the history and evolution of "Christianity." They apply to ethnic Jews, that's it.
Of course, I don't believe any of the Mythos, or at least not the dogma.
[–]Illlumin 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
God is really specific in what pleases him....Kid of reminds me of the part at the end of The Wizard of Oz right before the poor little man came out from behind the curtain.
[–]Superflonic 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Don't forget that Leviticus 21:5 seems to indicate that this specific law is only meant for priests.
New International Version (©1984) "'Priests must not shave their heads or shave off the edges of their beards or cut their bodies.
Also, why am I forced to wait ~10 minutes between each time I post a comment? Seriously, that's a long time.
[–]Rape_Sandwich -9 points-8 points-7 points 8 months ago
Because you're a shit poster so they limit the number of shit posts you can make.
[–]kingoff00ls 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
In summary: That verse was to Jews who in context was because tattoos, hair "sacrifice" and prostitution was a way of worshiping that other religions did for their Gods. God wanted his relationship with his people to not be tainted by the actions of others and for it to be pure and only for him.
The haircut thing was a disgrace for most men of that time so it was a sacrifice, more hair=more manhood. Asian countries had this as well. so to cut your hair to make yourself less of a man in society was a good sacrifice for other pagan Gods because it was a great inconveince.
A translation for today would be to not bow eastward toward Jerusalem when you mecca (or tebow for you atheists) simply because Muslims do it and God wants his worshipers to be different.
[–]Alianated 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
I grew up Pentecostal so I didn't cut my hair til I was like 22. (I'm a girl) My mom would enthusiastically agree with this guy's sign.
[–]ACapulong 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Why don't we just skip the Bible altogether.
[–]joeyoungblood 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago
This comes from the Torah, not the Christian Bible. The passage in question is god speaking directly to Moses and could be interpreted as God asking Moses to not cut his hair: "Do not cut the hair at the sides of your head or clip off the edges of your beard".
at the time the Hebrews were on their way out of Egypt. God's decrees in these conversations were largely the exact opposite for what the Egyptians did. We can see these conversations as intended to break the bad habits that the Hebrews had learned while being slaves.
Jews themselves did not hold steadfast to many of these decrees likely sensing the same thing. Overtime society changed and adjusted and only the most general were still followed. For example the conversation also speaks about animal sacrifices and sleeping with slave girls. God also gives instructions for how Aaron is to enter the Ark to keep him from perishing in God's presence in the "cloud over the atonement cover".
None of that was meant to go beyond the journey to the land promised to the Hebrews.
[–]darkangelx 4 points5 points6 points 8 months ago
Oh the old testament isn't part of the Christian bible anymore?
[–]joeyoungblood 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
The Torah was selected to be added largely as historical reference. Christians still practice many of the things mentioned and use the references from there to define the role of god in their lives and to understand the changing nature of god from the old testaments times which were far stricter to the new testament times of Jesus in which God became far more compassionate.
I am far from a theology expert, but this has always been my take on the role of the Torah in the lives of Christians. Those who radically cling to one or two sentences from it in general are ignorant of the reformist intentions of Jesus.
[–]iamaravis 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago
My family, friends, college, and most other Christians I've ever known all believe that the entire Bible is one long, consistent (true) story of God's covenant and plan. The OT is completely valid and historically correct, in their view.
[–]amyisgonnakillme 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
As an Aussie, our much smaller Christian population would disagree with that sentiment. I'm pretty sure they are aware the new testament is where it's really at.
[–]FuriousApe 3 points4 points5 points 8 months ago
What do you say of the passage Matthew 5:17-5:18: 17Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfill 18?
This doesn't make it sound like he wants to just throw away the Old Testament.
[–]joeyoungblood -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
The sermon that line is take from is for the Beattitudes. Think like a political outlaw for a moment. Jesus at once is assuring that the law won't change, but then states what laws will remain and does not mention the others. He does not state to stone homesexuals to death, in fact in other incidents he states the opposite and pushes for tolerance.
Jesus believed he was the messiah. On a purely historic context that means he came to clear away the sins of man, to show the way to have and to change Jewish beliefs. That means that humanity didn't have to do many of the things they did in the old testament to appease god. Jesus changed prayer, age old traditions of mocking prostitutes, taught that we should find ways to help the sick and not outcast them, etc..
Jesus also spoke in parables that were clearly labeled as such and not as historical records. In a historical view while reading the old testament it is hard to tell if the writers were telling stories with moral meanings or if they were telling facts as they perceived them. As with all religions around the same time frame or before these can be considered 'myths' since many were believe as truth but were likely just stories. Which ones are which is difficult to tell. That is something else that Jesus changed.
By stating he did not come to "destroy.. the prophets" Jesus meant he was coming to fulfill the word they had given, including John the Baptist.
Jesus went on to speak directly to which laws he was talking about. Those included adultery and murder. Some of theme differing from the old ways, most notably the "Eye for an Eye" ideal http://niv.scripturetext.com/matthew/5.htm
Jesus came to change things for the better, for the poor and the mistreated. In the same sermon he tells the crowd to become "more righteous than the Pharises" since they practiced the old Torah law it is clear he is stating that the old ways have died and the new ways are here.
He continues on about not acting like Pharises when he speaks of charitable giving.
[–]chazysciota 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Jesus believed in the OT, why would Christians want anything to do with it?
[–]joeyoungblood 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Jesus believed he was fulfilling a prophecy from the old times to be the savior of man kind. If sins are forgiven does that not change things dramatically? Look at his deeds, his actions and read his sermons in full. He spoke out against many of the old laws, which is why he was hung on the cross.
[–]chazysciota 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
If you believe that the NT abolishes the OT, then you are well out of step with mainstream Christianity. And I'm not terribly interested in hearing your pet theories about Christ's "actual" intent.
[–]mawic5150 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
1) “For truly, I say to you, till heaven and earth pass away, not an iota, not a dot, will pass the law until all is accomplished. Whoever then relaxes one of the least of these commandments and teaches men so, shall be called least in the kingdom of heaven; but he who does them and teaches them shall be called great in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 5:18-19 RSV) Clearly the Old Testament is to be abided by until the end of human existence itself. None other then Jesus said so.
2) All of the vicious Old Testament laws will be binding forever. "It is easier for Heaven and Earth to pass away than for the smallest part of the letter of the law to become invalid." (Luke 16:17 NAB)
3) Jesus strongly approves of the law and the prophets. He hasn’t the slightest objection to the cruelties of the Old Testament. "Do not think that I have come to abolish the law or the prophets. I have come not to abolish but to fulfill. Amen, I say to you, until heaven and earth pass away, not the smallest part or the smallest part of a letter will pass from the law, until all things have taken place." (Matthew 5:17 NAB)
3b) "All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for refutation, for correction, and for training in righteousness..." (2 Timothy 3:16 NAB)
3c) "Know this first of all, that there is no prophecy of scripture that is a matter of personal interpretation, for no prophecy ever came through human will; but rather human beings moved by the holy Spirit spoke under the influence of God." (2 Peter 20-21 NAB)
4) Jesus criticizes the Jews for not killing their disobedient children according to Old Testament law. Mark.7:9-13 "Whoever curses father or mother shall die" (Mark 7:10 NAB)
5) Jesus is criticized by the Pharisees for not washing his hands before eating. He defends himself by attacking them for not killing disobedient children according to the commandment: “He that curseth father or mother, let him die the death.” (Matthew 15:4-7)
6) Jesus has a punishment even worse than his father concerning adultery: God said the act of adultery was punishable by death. Jesus says looking with lust is the same thing and you should gouge your eye out, better a part, than the whole. The punishment under Jesus is an eternity in Hell. (Matthew 5:27)
7) Peter says that all slaves should “be subject to [their] masters with all fear,” to the bad and cruel as well as the “good and gentle.” This is merely an echo of the same slavery commands in the Old Testament. 1 Peter 2:18
8) “Did not Moses give you the law, and yet none of you keepeth the law" (John7:19) and “For the law was given by Moses,..." (John 1:17).
9) “...the scripture cannot be broken.” --Jesus Christ, John 10:35
[–]joeyoungblood 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
yes lots of ellipsises. what scripture was Jesus speaking of? Was he at the council of trent? Did he write the entire bible? Odd because not one single book is attributed to him.
The decrees also list several things that are good hygiene. For example not eating meat with blood still, bathing daily.
and good for society such as not sleeping with your fathers wife, or your sister whether by blood or by marriage, not sleeping with other men, and not sacrificing your children to the god Molech.
Religion played a major role in shaping civilization back in these times and the rules were largely built as a means to that end. Creating cohesive, stable civilization required cohesive stable (and large) families which is why men could have more than one wife in those times.. something else that is not practiced today.
for example. imagine if God told Moses "Do not pop thy collar upwards" would that make dbag bros sinners? probably not, it could be general advice, or a command to Moses to not make him look like a dbag.
context is everything.
[–]iiiears -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
A scholarly argument that adds to the discussion you don't agree with. reddit downvote? "reddiquette"
I agree with open and honest discussion. Not devicive hatred towards one group. That is ignorance, not intelligence.
[–]baxter0212 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
you could say "they cut it out"...ahh come on!
[–]fudashiii 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
chris martin?
[–]jordanTRC 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago*
Leading the way for Pope Notarapist I and Pope Definitelynotarapist IV.
EDIT: Just to clarify, Pope Innocent XII was actually a pretty cool guy.
[–]gtmathematic 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
http://www.cgg.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/BQA/k/63/Is-Wrong-Shave-Cut-Ones-Hair-Leviticus-1927
[–]yep45 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Christians don't follow Leviticus, in case you didn't notice.
[–]Sadistic_Espeon 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
During sophomore year of high school, I attended a small Christian school (and yes everything about it was terrible). I was growing out my hair, but they forced me to keep it short. I showed them this verse one day, but I was told that it referred to a practice involving not cutting your hair and giving up grape juice. I can't remember what it's called, but it had a formal name.
[–]skurtbert 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Well it it is on a sign it must be true. Claim usually are when written. No matter if they are "out of context" or just stupid.
[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points0 points 8 months ago
Leviticus is old covenant law. However, the new covenant still maintains that homosexuality is a sin.
With that said, the Bible never says it is a super sin or that anyone who is a homosexual is barred from Heaven.
Every time one of my fellow Christians says something about homosexuals and Hell, I kindly remind them of the doctrine of eternal security.
[–]NorthernSpankMonkey 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
Is this how you guys say cherry picking?
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
You are correct. Citing a random verse out of context with little to no explanation is cherry picking.
[–]Calsendon 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
What he means is that you're cherrypicking which parts of the bible to follow.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
I'm aware what he meant. Howevever, what the original post did is cherry picking. I didn't even cite a reference in my response.
What they did is merely quote scripture somewhat out of context.
You cherry pick by disregarding some scripture while wholly adhering to some. It's pathetic, really.
This link may help your understanding of old covenant law vs. new covenant law (and how "disregarding" old covenant law is not wrong)
http://www.tentmaker.org/tracts/OldVsNewCovenant.html
[–]Calsendon 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Since Jesus supposedly said that he did not come to abolish the old laws, I do not see the point of this.
Regardless, I couldn't care less about laws made by goat-fucking hallucinators thousands of years ago.
[–]le_poc 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
The link you provided links to a page that seems like it was made by a single person expressing the single person's views. It doesn't source who the author was (it might as well be an anonymous webpage on geocities) and it doesn't reflect on why his/her opinion is a credible one.
... Are you saying we should base our understanding of OT vs NT based on this webpage?
[–]Gnardude 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
Super sin? How many regular sins would be in a super sin approximately?
That's my point. Sin inherently separates us from God, regardless of the actual sin. Salvation is achieved through believing in the Gospel, not any actual action. You can't lose salvation either.
[–]mawic5150 2 points3 points4 points 8 months ago
no salvation for suicide, no mater if you believe or not.
Nowhere in the Bible does it indicate that.
You MUST repent to be saved! you CAN NOT do this if you're dead. RTFM
e·pent 1 [ri-pent] Show IPA verb (used without object) 1. to feel sorry, self-reproachful, or contrite for past conduct; regret or be conscience-stricken about a past action, attitude, etc. (often followed by of ): He repented after his thoughtless act. 2. to feel such sorrow for sin or fault as to be disposed to change one's life for the better; be penitent.
[–][deleted] 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago*
Repentance isn't necessary for salvation. It is good and should be attempted for every sin, but doesn't get you into Heaven. There is literally one condition: faith.
[–]mawic5150 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
Luke 13:3
I tell you, no! But unless you repent, you too will all perish.
[–][deleted] -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago*
Are you just quoting every verse with repent in it?
Are we discussing whether or not specifically repenting for the sin of suicide is necessary for entrance into Heaven or whether repentance (in the general sense of realizing you're a sinner and coming to Christ) is necessary?
I gave you the definition of repent but you seem to have read that as well as you read the bible.
also
(Mark 3:28-29 KJV) Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme: But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation:
The Holy Spirit is part of the Trinity, thus fully God. He is vital in God and Christ's work. You can't simultaneously worship Christ and blaspheme God or the Spirit.
This may help clarify for you (and is more eloquently put that I can manage):
http://carm.org/what-blasphemy-holy-spirit-can-christian-commit-it
I fully understand the trinity thank you you on the other hand dont seem to understand how to read scripture.
I'm sorry but I must question your attack on my understanding of reading scripture as you continue to post single verses at random with no context or explanation of your interpretation of them.
I do hope you'll consider looking into these issues further.
At least I give you something you assert your beliefs without verification from your holy book. Let me give you a little back story . I was raised in a very strict luthren household, I own many old versions of the bible some that still contain some of the apocrypha. I have read them all from cover to cover. The older the book the more different the story If you would take the time to do the research you would know the ere of your ways.
I do attempt to "know my stuff." I respect that you are familiar with the Bible. Generally, I don't use references as I find atheists have no interest in them (and why should they?)
Actually most atheists have just as much use for the verses as you to point out how the new christians dont follow the rules like they should. and the old rules still apply. RTFM
[–]commodoretuff 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
BAZINGA!
[–]Superflonic -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
Probably getting buried, but the 'laws' in Leviticus are part of the Mosaic law (among others the 10 commandments, ie: do not kill, etc). That law has later been replaced for another law, so the specific law of not cutting one's hair has been undone. Also, in Leviticus 21:5 the same law about not cutting your hair is repeated, this time mentioning that it only counts for priests, indicating that the law wasn't for everybody.
Don't go cherrypicking biblical passages just for your amusement.
[–]BoilerMaker11 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
lol god needed a mulligan....even though he knows everything.
that's what I inherently think when people say that god "replaced" laws
[–]Superflonic -2 points-1 points0 points 8 months ago
It was 'replaced' because of Jesus' sacrifice that meant salvation. Among the Mosaic laws was the law that required from everyone to periodically bring a sacrifice. Jesus' sacrifice made those human sacrifices unnecessary.
Couldn't God have simply made the Mosaic laws not need sacrifices? I mean, again, he knows everything. And that intrinsically means that he knew that man couldn't "fulfill his laws" before he even made the laws (kinda stupid if you ask me.) It's just like Hitchens said, he makes us dirty and then orders us to be cleansed.
Instead of making a system which he knows that some time down the line will need fixing, just get it right the first time. You aren't perfect if you need a do over
You should give your fellow Christians the same advice. This topic is here in the first place because of an overwhelming number of people belonging to the Abrahamic faiths choose to deny gay individuals their rights.
Also note that while you believe the OT laws have been abolished with the coming of Jesus Christ, many Christians don't. Who do I trust? You? Them?
[–]Superflonic 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
Nobody should be denied their rights, that's wrong in the first place and pretty much in direct violation of 'love thy neighbour'. About the old testament, while the laws were replaced by the new testament laws, that doesn't mean the old laws should be regarded as obsolete. The NT is both a replacement and an addendum to those laws; 'you shall not murder' is still one of them for example.
My best guess is that is why lots of Christians still believe in the OT laws.
FYI: The Bible also says homosexuality is wrong in the new testament as well but I still agree that it is wrong that we continue to prohibit homosexual marriage and I am a fundi lol.
[–]Calsendon -4 points-3 points-2 points 8 months ago
You and your kind disgust me.
Thanks I guess? I'm not really your typical fundamentalist Christian. So I guess that would make me not a fundamentalist Christian by today's standards lol.
You even end your paragraphs with "lol.".
My case is clear. Fuck you.
lololololololololololololololol you must really be disgusted now!
I'm disgusted by the fact that you disretard science in favor of bullshit.
Quick to judge aren't we? I actually believe in evolution and believe that the Bible is for religious purposes only and should not be used for scientific purposes.
Then you are not a fundamentalist.
I thought we established that a few comments ago?
[–]Calsendon 0 points1 point2 points 7 months ago
If you were a fundi, you would be a creationist. Either way, you're still delusional.
[–]FasterOCR19 -1 points0 points1 point 8 months ago
that fucker looks smug as shit
[–]rockstarking -4 points-3 points-2 points 8 months ago
I cannot corroborate that the book of Leviticus does give any such commands for no haircuts, but I can say that this sign takes whatever there may be out of context. The only context for no haircuts I am aware of off hand is in the book of Numbers where the Nazirite vow is detailed.
[–]Pohnic 5 points6 points7 points 8 months ago
Leviticus 19:27 according to bible.cc. I wish I could check a printed version of a bible but I used the last one in my possession to make roaches for smokable drugs, eventually rendering it unreadable. Still, I like hair cuts and homosexuals so it's for the best really.
[–]iiiears 0 points1 point2 points 8 months ago
IANABS I am not a bible scholar. If Jesus was jewish and you follow his teachings why is the old testament not treated as gospel?
link for reading and debate: http://niv.scripturetext.com/leviticus/18.htm
as i've said elsewhere it was likely a command to just moses or meant to help the hebrews fit in with the people the land they were promised was "vomiting out".
In this context cutting ones hair would not be considered sinful.
[–]rockstarking 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
The teachings of Jesus was a TL;DR of that of the Old Testament, he renewed the Covenant also.
Gospel is greek for "Good Story."
[–]iiiears 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
"Gospel is Greek for "Good Story"" - This is why reddit is worth reading. - Thank You.
[–]Pohnic 1 point2 points3 points 8 months ago
I personally do not follow the teachings of Jesus or that of any other religion. Do you mean "a Gospel" (biography of Jesus) or "as gospel" (unquestionable truth)?
Oops, I am in over my head - not too difficult in any discussion of scripture. /g Unquestionable truth. from gods lips to prophets ears.
The only correct context for anything in the old testament is to live the bronze age.
[–]Doug_is_fresh -3 points-2 points-1 points 8 months ago
Another circle-jerk post taking Scripture out of its historical context...
all it takes is a username and password
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