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all 200 comments

[–]TubePincher 166 points167 points ago

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Write text, look at it for a while, finally press send, throw phone on bed, wait intently for reply.

[–]alcoholiccactus 224 points225 points ago

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no, you have to put it on silent and put it face down on your bed and try and ignore it as long as possible. (spoiler: when you look there will still be no reply.)

[–]Swampf0x 99 points100 points ago

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Or put it on vibrate while your working and put it in your pocket. Did your pants just vibrate? Check your phone, there won't be a reply.

[–]alcoholiccactus 54 points55 points ago

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and then you assume no reply cause you never felt it, and find out several hours later there was a reply several hours ago.

[–]Xenc 15 points16 points ago

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"Hey do you wanna come to my party?"

[–]alcoholiccactus 13 points14 points ago

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yes i do! oh did you mean she sent that and you didn't notice? nah its cool, i was kidding, i never really wanted to go to your party anyways. ha, what a good joke i just pulled.......

[–]I_Laugh-At-Bad-Jokes 7 points8 points ago

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AHHAHAHAH!!!!HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

[–]alcoholiccactus 8 points9 points ago

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:( i have been mocked by a novelty account for the first time. i will quietly retreat to my hole in the ground.

[–]youremomsoriginal 1 point2 points ago

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If it's any consolation, I thought it was a very good joke.

[–]lightball2000 3 points4 points ago

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Don't let them get to you, alcoholiccactus. You and I can have our own party without them. Now you wait here; I just have to go grab my hand drill and a straw . . .

[–]alcoholiccactus 4 points5 points ago

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what is the drill and straw for... O_O

[–]Combustible_lem0ns 0 points1 point ago

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Don't fall for this alcoholiccactus! Next they're gonna say they will text you in a few mins...No reply for a day.

[–]Dyamalos 5 points6 points ago

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I swear I never feel my phone vibrate when I'm at work, only when it doesn't.

[–]steve20009 12 points13 points ago

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I used to go that route, but now I keep it off of silent and when I hear "ding ding", I jump up and race to the bed to find out...it's mom.

[–]alcoholiccactus 6 points7 points ago

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usually my roommate. god dammit i don't need to know you are headed back to the room! i am waiting for a text!

[–]RockLoi 0 points1 point ago

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I've just been doing that all day.

Why isn't she replying? Is it because she wants me to phone? Is this a test? She text me earlier why not now? Has she gone off me? Maybe she was just drunk when she said she liked me. Maybe she was just playing with me and it was all a joke. God what's going on. I'm going to call her.

"Oh you've been at work!" - I suck. ¬_¬

[–]RedAppIe 0 points1 point ago

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Happened so many times it makes me nervous just reading your comment -.-

[–]Alreadyhaveone 8 points9 points ago

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If I look at it too long I just end up changing it again....

[–]mochamonster32 16 points17 points ago

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all of you motherfuckers are clones of me, i swear to god.

[–]wanderso24 10 points11 points ago

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Seriously. I'm reading my own thoughts. Its good to know other people suffer from these first world cell phone problems like me.

[–]polaris210 15 points16 points ago

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This. Every. Single. Time.

[–]sqazm 249 points250 points ago*

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"Hey how's it going?"

delete delete delete

"Hey, what are you up to?"

delete delete delete

"What's going on tonight? You looked great today, btw."

delete delete delete

"Hey what's going on tonight? You looked hot today."

delete delete delete

.....

"Hey!"

send text

[–]DudeWithCreepyLaugh 68 points69 points ago

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I've dreamed of our life together, everyday better than the last

Sometimes I don't believe you're real

So I saw someone the other day at the food court, was that you?

So my friend said he saw you at the food court yesterday

So this one crazy chick who keeps hitting on me said she saw you yesterday at the foodcourt

I like to go to the food court too! We should go together sometime ;)

Oh hey, haven't seen you in awhile, we should go get a bite :)

Havent hung out in awhile, let's get some food _^

I love you

I'm ok that you have a bf. trust me =D

Fuck you bitch

I promise that if you are with me, I will make all your dreams come true

Of course you wouldn't like me, I'm just depressing

I'm ok that you only became my friend to use me to connect to my best friend, I understand and its cool

"Yo"

[–]otaking 11 points12 points ago

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comment accentuated by username

[–]tornadoslaps 5 points6 points ago

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Lose it at 'I love you'. Im sorry

[–]OneHandsomeSheep 25 points26 points ago

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[–]L-Duderino 4 points5 points ago

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That movie is awesome!

[–]FlyingHigh 14 points15 points ago

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This is even worse when chatting over a system that shows the other party that you are typing...

[–]BluShine 0 points1 point ago

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You think that's bad? Try fuzzmail.

[–]tornadoslaps 0 points1 point ago

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Growl app, hell hole.

[–]LukaCola 74 points75 points ago

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Wow, that's exactly how it went the other day...

It's like you're reading my mind

Nailed it

Have an upvote

[–]kdternal 73 points74 points ago

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god damn someone on reddit always beats me to it

fuck someone on reddit always beats me to it

shit someone on reddit always beats me to it

curses! someone on reddit always beats me to it

ahoy matey! someone on reddit always beats me to it

hehehe pirates

[–]Xenc 12 points13 points ago

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Hey!

[–]kdternal 8 points9 points ago

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you can't be a chick, she never responds

[–]Combustible_lem0ns 2 points3 points ago

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Or if she does its with some useless, conversation killing statement like "Lol yeah:)"

[–]notgeorgeclooney 0 points1 point ago

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I normally just end it with a "yo"

[–]terrorobe -1 points0 points ago

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"heyyyy" FTFY

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Dyamalos 4 points5 points ago

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Nah, just hold it down.

[–]IdleGod 92 points93 points ago

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Think of something good to say... Think of something good to say...

*I like... your... cat... *

Fuck.

[–]Dragday 41 points42 points ago

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[–]naked_guy_says 13 points14 points ago

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[–]rufnrdy13 16 points17 points ago

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That line would work if she is a fellow redditor.

[–]myou 1 point2 points ago

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Sent with the triplicate periods and all?

[–]Sonic_Bluth 3 points4 points ago

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They're called ellipses, but you can still call them triplicate periods if you want. That sounds pretty cool.

[–]myou 1 point2 points ago

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To me, they're called whatever I choose.

But thanks for the go ahead.

[–]Sonic_Bluth 4 points5 points ago

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Really, the ellipsis is now used for two completely different things. It was originally meant to indicate that a piece of information had been omitted from a quote (e.g. "Call me Ishmael ... I thought I would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world ... I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can."), but the vast majority of people probably only ever encounter it as a way to express a certain...cadence...of natural speech in text, which, of course, is the way it was being used when you called them "triplicate periods." I use it both ways all the time, with different typography so that I can tell them apart. So maybe I'll start calling the expressive version triplicate periods myself.

[–]RenardMF 0 points1 point ago

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I like "periodic triplets."

[–]ViniTheHat 40 points41 points ago

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i hope the bomb doesn't catch his cold?

[–]harryyplopper[S] 21 points22 points ago

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They were out of bombsuits.....close enough!

[–]justkilc 13 points14 points ago

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Dammit Jim..

[–]redfox2600 1 point2 points ago

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The bombsuit would be pointless. It's like try to defuse a nuke where the wires constantly rearrange themselves to form a tighter Mongolian cluster fuck of bitching and whining.

[–]TheRemix 35 points36 points ago

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Stop worrying, just always end your text with a question.

[–]BrianDriskill 72 points73 points ago

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Woah. That's fucking magical. I've never thought of that. Bitches LOVE questions! She'd HAVE to respond cause otherwise like, what, she's just gonna let me not know the damn shit I's askin' about? Fuck naw, she'll tell me... Then I swoop in for the "So what are you doing later tonight? At, say, have-sex-with-my-penis o'clock?" then you're all "shit! autocorrect! lol! I meant 8:30!" Then she thinks it was a mistake and she puts it out of her mind.... Or does she? No. She doesnt. Cause, subconsciously, she's totally thinking about fucking your penis with her sex parts.

[–]ocentertainment 20 points21 points ago

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"she's totally thinking about fucking your Penis with her sex parts."

Believing this to be true is perhaps the single biggest things shy dudes need to do to get better with the lady folk.

[–]redditorforENDOFdays 2 points3 points ago

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If there's any mutual attraction at all, then it's usually true.

[–]Conceivably_Close 1 point2 points ago

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This read not dissimilarly to a dinosaur comic

[–]notgeorgeclooney 0 points1 point ago

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I honestly just say 'hey, wanna rub our parts together?".

[–]graysonkelly 21 points22 points ago

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This isn't always a good idea. Sometimes makes the girl feel like she's being interviewed.

[–]Combustible_lem0ns 0 points1 point ago

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If she responds its a big step in it's own.

[–]carlivar 2 points3 points ago

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You are the Mike Damone of the 21st century!

Also, when texting, put on side one of Led Zeppelin IV.

[–]TheRemix 5 points6 points ago

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You assume I wasn't already listening to it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You played it for her, you can play it for me. Play it Sam!

[–]fergetcom 2 points3 points ago

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I tried this once. After about 3 messages in a row from me, I just gave up.

[–]Blizzxx 7 points8 points ago

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Never go past the second text without a reply!

[–]TheRemix 7 points8 points ago

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Never send two texts in a row, unless they're seconds apart. The idea is to give the impression that you're busy with other things and don't give a fuck.

[–]Blizzxx 2 points3 points ago

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I thought that was already implied, I meant in general never cross the second text even if they are days apart.

[–]Combustible_lem0ns 0 points1 point ago

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The worst was when my phone would actually choose not to send texts. And some times not receive them. And it would not notify me in either circumstance. So there were days I would be confused as to whether or not It didn't go through, or she just wasn't responding...

[–]Combustible_lem0ns 0 points1 point ago

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Story of my life.

[–]licensetotill 22 points23 points ago

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"When I started dating girls I had to look up their name in the phone book and then call a land line. What if her last name was Peterson? Then you call 15 different houses until you get the right one. Once she's actually on the line you had to survive an endless onslaught of split second decisions, a gauntlet of prepubescent desire. The silence is painful so you try to spark up a conversation. Your voice cracks. You have no time to think, you can only react. You're knee-deep in this shit now, son, and there's no turning back. Texting might be like defusing a bomb, but that's better than it used to be."

[–]BluShine 1 point2 points ago

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I like you you chose a picture of a war videogame instead of a real picture of a war. Nice touch.

[–]Help_I_Lost_my_face 17 points18 points ago

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The same feeling I get posting on Reddit

[–]BluShine 1 point2 points ago

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And here I though I needed to be more confident...

[–]Iamgoingtooffendyou 78 points79 points ago

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Texting? I used to have to call girls.

[–]klsi832 164 points165 points ago

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I have to use call girls.

[–]lovelydayfora 18 points19 points ago

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Bravo. If you had fit in the other 'to', I would have deleted my account and never come back.

[–]VinSwift 13 points14 points ago

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I have to use two call girls.

[–]brwhyan 14 points15 points ago

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I too have to use two callgirls.

[–]naked_guy_says 6 points7 points ago

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I like hookers

[–]metalhead4 2 points3 points ago

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I like turtles.

[–]Dr_Wizard 4 points5 points ago

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I have two used call girls.

[–]whyartthoumad 2 points3 points ago

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I have used two cowgirls

[–]klsi832 5 points6 points ago

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I used to reverse cowgirl with two call girls

[–]LoveKarnage 1 point2 points ago

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I'm a virgin

[–]Potchi79 38 points39 points ago

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I found an old love note from my first girlfriend the other day. It said "Page me sometime."

[–]lolerblades 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah back in my day we used to send telegrams!

[–]india23 7 points8 points ago

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Calling? I used to have to talk to them in person.

[–]Antinous 9 points10 points ago

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pssh.. what are you.. 80?

[–]alividlife 16 points17 points ago

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It sounds so.... exhausting.

[–]carlivar 2 points3 points ago

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Upvote for my favorite Hot Tub Time Machine scene.

[–]sachegrande 2 points3 points ago

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Sometimes I still shout into the other room instead of facebooking her.

[–]effyouyoueffineff 9 points10 points ago

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and she knows it. the best way to do it is to just do it. be goofy but straight about what you want. don't think of her as a bomb. think of her as a kitten that likes to play. if you're too much of a pussy that kitten is going to to elsewhere.

[–]mdax8414 2 points3 points ago

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I thought kittens like other pussies. Am I wrong?

[–]scubsurf 44 points45 points ago

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And this is why the friend-zone exists.

Girls date assholes because assholes are generally either confident, or at least seem to be. Confidence is attractive, it's sexy. Some people take this too far and instead of just seeming comfortable with themselves they act like egocentric douchebags, and they still get girls.

Stop doubting yourself. Even if you fuck up, even if you say something completely stupid, just own it. Make a joke about it, and get her to laugh. You'll be fine.

Oh, and you want people to like you, ask them questions about themselves. The questions themselves aren't as important as the person having the chance to talk to you about what they think and feel, and their life. Give people an outlet to vent and feel like someone gives a shit and they will keep coming back.

[–]Gawdzillers 18 points19 points ago

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I like the cut of your jib, old horse.

[–]scubsurf 5 points6 points ago

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Thank you, sir. I must say, I like yours myself.

[–]Wry_and_Dry 4 points5 points ago

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Now kiss...

[–]EnjoyMyDownvote 6 points7 points ago

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i hate this talk about how confidence is attractive. Confident unattractive men most of the time come off as creepers by women.

[–]Conceivably_Close 6 points7 points ago

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You know what's less attractive than a confident unattractive man? An unconfident unattractive man.

It's clear that desirability depends on many facets of a person and it seems preposterous to dismiss confidence/self-carriage/self esteem (call it what you will) is not something that bears on deciding the desirability index (as it were) of a person.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Maybe all rapists are just extremely confident and believe the girls (or guys) wanted it.

[–]RockLoi 1 point2 points ago

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That's too much confidence, and even attractive people don't look good wearing that.

[–]Ayjayz 1 point2 points ago

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Which is how Forever Alone comes about. Confidence is almost 100% of what makes men attractive, and not being attractive hammers your confidence. If you don't start with confidence, you just spiral further and further down.

[–]Disolve 2 points3 points ago

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A lot of women care so little about if you're "sexy" or not, unless you're unreasonably unattractive. In the rest of the cases, it's usually just whether or not it feels good and electric talking about you. You can't necessarily manufacture that no matter how you try though.

[–]LoveKarnage 1 point2 points ago

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Are you kidding me? Looks can be very difficult to change. But becoming an effective communicator/conversationalist is another thing entirely. Just practice by taking note of generic conversation topics and how to keep the flow going. Then engage in conversation with random females and males to get you comfortable with talking to people. Being a good conversationalist can really help with confidence.

[–]BluShine 1 point2 points ago

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As a guy who has trouble being confident sometimes, I can say that it's not as easy as you say it is. Telling someone to be more confident is like telling a smoker to just stop buying cigarettes. It's a lot easier to be confident the more confident you are :P

[–]LoveKarnage 1 point2 points ago

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You're right, just telling someone to be more confident doesn't make much sense. I'm saying by rolling the dice and striking up conversations with random people you meet, you're sure to become more comfortable with yourself and that will help raise your confidence.

[–]ronald_rager 15 points16 points ago

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When she texts back.

[–]shake42 4 points5 points ago

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Not if she texts back single word, or short answers. That's when you blew it up, your body parts are strewn across the battlefield, but the little red light on the bomb is still blinking...

[–]Mikey-2-Guns 7 points8 points ago

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I fucked up so horribly in this situation last night it is not even funny...

[–]turimbar1 2 points3 points ago

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Sometimes words are far more powerful than guns.

[–]figureskatingaintgay 7 points8 points ago

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Doesn't help that the send and delete button are too close on my phone...

[–]timmdorsey 7 points8 points ago

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winky face...send the winky face

[–]turbofast 10 points11 points ago

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Type a serious message to the girl that can't in any way, shape, or form, be interpreted as flirting. Attach a photo of your genitals.

[–]sachegrande 7 points8 points ago

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[–]ygaddy 3 points4 points ago

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[–]rhubarbbus 13 points14 points ago

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How I feel when I have to defuse a bomb.

[–]forb_tastic 21 points22 points ago

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[–]BluShine 0 points1 point ago

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I feel that way too when my battery is low.

[–]Roton7 -1 points0 points ago

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Do people really send message after message in hopes of a reply? I just don't get it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Are you still there?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I dunno, sometimes people are just really lonely.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Or maybe it's like, hey look at me I don't care about texting rules. I'll text that bitch twice in a row because I don't care if she thinks I'm desperate because I'm so awesome she couldn't possibly think that.

[–]Measly 6 points7 points ago

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I'm pretty sure I'd rather be wearing one of these to defuse a bomb.

[–]spastacus 7 points8 points ago

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LOL sissy!

Mel gibson in leathal weapon movies only used blue jeans and mullet hairstyle to defend bombs and you want pajamas made from refriderator? Man up little baby girl you need more testorone from your balls to be man!

[–]nehalvpatel 2 points3 points ago

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Hahaha, I lost it at "(No Penetration)".

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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At a certain size of bomb it doesn't matter what you're wearing.

[–]Eurobob 2 points3 points ago

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No, that's when you jump in the fridge.

[–]justasian 5 points6 points ago

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The problem: all the wires are the same color.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Doesn't it get old having to make sure to say the right thing and do the right thing so as not to scare someone away? I'm not referring to you specifically, I mean the entire dating world. Wouldn't it all be so much easier if one could just be themself and not worry about judgement or rejection? It's funny how they say to always be honest with your significant other, but how honest were you when trying to woo in said significant other?
Basically, I find myself constantly broken hearted for all the people in my life who are alone, and may continue to be, for the rest of their lives all because of social situations and how they aren't that great at them.
And that's my random rant about how fucked up I think the dating world is.

[–]wtfreak 5 points6 points ago

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I'm a girl and I think it is funny how you guys get all worked up over something little as a text message. If it helps, girls do the same thing. So, just remember that next time you text her.

[–]fett4evr 7 points8 points ago

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seems legit

[–]TimesWasting 4 points5 points ago

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yeah I know right, why is trying to date women such a fucking game like this -_-

[–]carlivar 5 points6 points ago

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How I felt calling a girl I liked

(texting? sheesh, you kids today have it so easy.)

[–]BluShine 1 point2 points ago

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Damn, you were so nervous you got a huge watermark on your shirt!

[–]greyscales 4 points5 points ago

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Probably more like this...

[–]austingoeshard 14 points15 points ago

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This is how i feel as well. I have literally fucked up relationships with a few bad texts. Made me realize though that only shallow bitches break it off over texts that offend them, and that i am better of without them.

[–]SenTedStevens 24 points25 points ago

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You met some shitty people if you lost them due to a few texts. Unless you're constantly writing things like "I'm going to rape your sister/mother/ dog" "I want to skin you alive and wear it like a coat." or other psychopathic things, a couple "bad" texts shouldn't mean too much.

[–]BabyJ 27 points28 points ago

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So you're saying those aren't good conversation starters? Well fuck me, I'm stumped.

[–]SenTedStevens 5 points6 points ago

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Some women will respond positively to this. They're amazing in the sack, but holy shit are they crazy. You might want to watch your back at all times. When you're in bed, her jokes about being able to hurt you when you're most vulnerable just might become reality.

[–]turimbar1 2 points3 points ago

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yeah, I have realized this as well, still does not keep me from feeling like I am walking over broken glass every time I text my gf.

[–]Conceivably_Close 4 points5 points ago

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Literally? ಠ_ಠ

[–]Whaddaulookinat 0 points1 point ago

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Unless the text is "you know, you're sister looks so fine."

[–]Saproling 3 points4 points ago

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Colour Blind?

[–]ChickenGuy 3 points4 points ago

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HE is defusing a bundle of prescription medications.

[–]Yildir1m 3 points4 points ago

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Yup, I always get my doctor to write my texts.

[–]Hameed67 3 points4 points ago

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I've found the more calculated the worst the result. Just say something off the top of your head, and polish it... a lot

[–]tsirchitna 2 points3 points ago

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I thought I was the only one this bad.

[–]klsi832 6 points7 points ago

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How I feel when talking to PMS

[–]khast 2 points3 points ago

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Red wire, red wire!..........uh, no the blue.....wait...uh my mistake it is the green wire, I am pretty sure it's the green wire.

[–]appropriate-username 2 points3 points ago*

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I talked a girl I liked into a phone text-based ARG. We played for a while and then she said her phone was dying just as we got to the good part.

I don't think her phone was dying =/

[–]columbianbambam 2 points3 points ago

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Blew up a couple of those today.... Sighhhh I'm gonna die alone

[–]sleepfighter7 7 points8 points ago

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nailed it.

[–]dfinch 0 points1 point ago

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How I feel like as a carpenter that's trying to defuse a bomb.

[–]desmond234 1 point2 points ago

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This is exactly how I feel, brilliant!

[–]agentargoh 1 point2 points ago

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Just "Auto-correct" something to say "NASA", she'll eat that up.

[–]lethargic1 1 point2 points ago

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NOOOOO NOT THE RED WIRE!!! D:

[–]AngelStreetJoey 1 point2 points ago

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This. Right now.

[–]scottyd1127 1 point2 points ago

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I guess you always 'blow it'.

[–]TehNightMan 1 point2 points ago

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dude i would give you 100 upvotes if i could

[–]bennybob4 1 point2 points ago

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This looked like it was moving and I sat back and waited for something to happen XD

[–]Qwouphy 1 point2 points ago

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Too True...

[–]redhook7 1 point2 points ago

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This is how i feel when i text the wrong girl a response to a text another girl sent me...

[–]GTNAT0fan 1 point2 points ago

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literally the most pain-staking process of all time.. you have to hand craft every word or else it will blow up in your face yet you dont get blown..

[–]JasuntheCoconut 1 point2 points ago

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How I feel talking to female friends when my Girlfriend is online.

[–]edwardunknown 1 point2 points ago

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Never works, it always blows up. Don't text anything more than 3 words.

EVER.

[–]brassmunkey 1 point2 points ago

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It's the most terrifying thing evar.

[–]Dr_Colossus 1 point2 points ago

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I've been trying to eliminate texting from my game until I have Hit the E in D.E.N.N.I.S. I come across completely different. Call the girl instead.

[–]Deadlyd0g 1 point2 points ago

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Today on the way out of high school I saw the girl I liked and I wanted to say bye to her but she was not standing where I thought she would be, So my brain died and my emergency defense mechanism kicked in, which involves fast walking out of school. I can barely talk to her lol. Fml, and fuck my anxiety. ಠ_ಠ Edit: Phone?! Phone!? I have one but I never ever use it lol you guys.

[–]kinglockjaw 1 point2 points ago

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More like how I feel talking to anyone. Hooray social anxiety!

[–]UnknownArchive 1 point2 points ago

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Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title comnts points age /r/
How I feel when I'm shaving my junk 254coms 767pts 4mos funny
My approach to talking to my angry girlfriend 68coms 486pts 2mos funny

source: karmadecay

[–]Henry1th 1 point2 points ago

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[–]pcnerd37 1 point2 points ago

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All of the girls I like are always taken already so I just say whatever comes to mind instead of agonizing over trying to come up with the perfect thing to say.

[–]what_user_name 1 point2 points ago

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dude...this is SOOOO true

[–]abeck3 1 point2 points ago

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not if you're drunk though

[–]WHYS_THIS_FUNNY 5 points6 points ago

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HA is funny because the bomb could blow up very easilly and kill you! And if you mess up texting a girl she won't fuck you! So in both circumstance you need to be very careful! That's why it's so funny!

[–]D3FEATER 0 points1 point ago

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texting a girl I like right now. Damn bitch didn't text back. Fuck, don't like her no more. Here that BITCH!?

[–]turimbar1 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah I got it. You were saying?

[–]Conceivably_Close 2 points3 points ago

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I question your attitude. Then, if I assume your supposed attitude is showmanship for your internet comrades I question other more troubling things about you.

[–]CheifEditer 0 points1 point ago

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Having had this particular bomb explode on me tonight I am going to up-vote everything posted here (unless you are being condescending).

[–]Skalywag 0 points1 point ago

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I always pictured it more like brain surgery. When I mess up, I don't kill myself, but rather kills others; as in our future children.

[–]Ghstfce 0 points1 point ago

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The whole problem is caring so much about what you send. You worry so much about making mistakes that you make plenty more than if you could care less. Stop being so analytical and be yourself dammit. Trust me, texting was made so that you were more relaxed talking to a girl. Well, not for that purpose mind you, but it helps.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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So fucking true! Also, drunk redditing, perhaps.

[–]Fosnez 0 points1 point ago

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Also applies to boys texting boys.

[–]Eurobob 0 points1 point ago

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Why is a surgeon operating on a bomb?

[–]sunamumaya[!] 0 points1 point ago

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That surgeon outfit is utterly useless here.

[–]CJ_Guns 0 points1 point ago

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And then you get to the point where you are paranoid that they are completely annoyed with you texting them and you just stop texting all together to preserve yourself...and then you wait for them to text you. If they do, you're golden.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Job Description?: "I'm an advanced biologically dependent technological surgeon" Girl: "What does that mean? I've never heard of that kind of surgery" Me: "I diffuse ticking time bombs and walk away non-chalantly" Girl: "GET IN MY PANTS!"

[–]rovio 0 points1 point ago

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Write text. Look at it for two seconds, spotting several mistakes. Ponder what to alter, realize that altering only makes it worse and send.

[–]guy_guyerson 0 points1 point ago

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For the love of god, someone please explain to me why that bomb is made of medicine and a stethoscope and being defused by a doctor. I guess I don't text enough, because I have no idea what this mixed metaphor is supposed to relate.

[–]abjection9 0 points1 point ago

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this is how i feel texting while stoned

[–]pinkswansays 0 points1 point ago

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Thought this problem was over with texting...Oh yeah, its not. Still somehow manage to send myriads of awkward texts.

[–]patrik667 0 points1 point ago

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The problem IS texting. It was harder yet somehow easier with a phone. Text messages, even if you're joking, can be interpreted by the current mood of the girl. Say "I heard a guy got hit by a car last night nearby your place, was it you just tired coming from work?" in a context where she's having a nice day and it'll be funny, she'll laugh and enjoy it. Say it when she was DUI and actually almost hits a dog and you just fucked up all chances you had.

Then, you never know what she's actually doing. If you don't get a reply within a minute you start panicking "OMG, did I just offend her? did she just read my message and now she's ignoring it because I sound dumb?" when she's probably just trying to run to and from the bathroom for a quick pee to get back to texting you: this lowers your self esteem and your confidence and girls notice this!

Always text what you are feeling, except when there are boundaries (friend zoning boundaries, "let's take it slow" boundaries and so on). Even in that case, dilute what you really want to say and say it anyway.

If there's a single good advice to give to guys hitting on girls is "BE YOURSELF"; not what you maybe think she would want you to be.

tl;dr: I just dodged a friendzoning "we should talk" and made it into a blooming relationship with an amazing girl, felt like giving advice.

[–]Neaks 0 points1 point ago

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Eh can't say I feel the same.

[–]IamStrategy 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Sirtroz 0 points1 point ago

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ive basically demolished my arms

[–]cocolos 0 points1 point ago

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Don't be silly you don't text girls.

[–]Swag_Surfer -1 points0 points ago

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Logged in to tell you to stop being such a little bitch. Hot girls are abundant as fuck. Learn to game and stop caring what any one particular chick thinks of you. If you talk to them like you are "walking on eggshells" they can sense this, and it repels them. Please go here and save yourself http://www.rsdnation.com/articles/all

[–]Swag_Surfer -1 points0 points ago

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And since you're a beginner, i suggest you start with the newsletters

[–]TXFLifeguard -3 points-2 points ago

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Nailed it