Cropdust First Class:

Damn near every time you get on a plane you're reminded just how bad your seat sucks. The airline parades you past the assbags in first class, who for some reason get on the plane earlier than everybody else. They get cushy reclining seats that that even Nell Carter could have wedged her ass into. Fucking champagne and hot towels before you take off? Who do these douchebags think they are?

You want to stick it to those fucks? Hell yea you do, and I started a ritual a few months ago that knocks those first class shitbags down a couple notches. Cropdust the motherfuckers.

It's not as easy as you might think, you don't want to let out an audible fart. How embarrassing that would be!

The biggest problem I came across was getting caught in the epicenter. If the line of passengers doesn't move their asses to the back of the plane fast enough you'll be stuck there in your own stink. It's better than someone else's, but not a great situation to be in. To remedy this chat up the flight attendant who stands to greet you just inside the door. There's always someone there in case one of the first class fucks needs another person to wipe their ass or something. Tell her you think she has a pretty scarf, or ask her how she flunked out of nursing school. That bitch doesn't care what you're saying to her. She just wants to humor you for a second before herding you toward the back of the plane with the other sheeple.

Just put up with her stupidity long enough to let the line of passengers clear first class and squeeze out that bomb you've been concealing. They didn't catch that at the security check, did they?

Now comes the fun part. Walk slowly down the aisle, maybe shake your pant leg to ensure the maximum payload is delivered and continue on to your seat. You're a better person now. Go sit in your bullshit little-ass economy seat secure in the knowledge that those pampered fucks get to smell the inside of your asshole for a while. Bon voyage!