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all 103 comments

[–]TheHT 62 points63 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Odin_Dresvarpr 4 points5 points ago

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You do the work of the Lord.

[–]TheHT 2 points3 points ago

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May His noodley appendage fondle you proper.

[–]Odin_Dresvarpr 2 points3 points ago

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Have I been transported to Japan?

[–]TheHT 0 points1 point ago

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Yes. So long as they have a beer volcano.

[–]guyv2020 67 points68 points ago*

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Cover it with peanut butter and put it in the microwave on low power for exactly 4 minutes and 27 seconds (There may be some smoke, don't worry its just part of the process). Remove it immediately and clean it off with bleach, the screen will have reformed and be as hard a diamond.

This is a secret technique apple doesn't want you to know!

[–]Zantier 34 points35 points ago

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OH NO! MY DAD'S GOING TO KILL ME!

[–]GoodGuyAnusDestroyer 7 points8 points ago

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Make sure you post pics of your dad kicking your ass.

[–]zzzacs 1 point2 points ago

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relevent user name

[–]Zorca99 10 points11 points ago

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Be first to swipe magnets really quickly across the back.

[–]codereign 9 points10 points ago

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Fairly sure it's a flash device.

[–]Zorca99 10 points11 points ago

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You dont have a 2tb external hard drive for your phone?.. oh.

[–]ObomaBenloden -2 points-1 points ago

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What a poorfag, eh?

[–]sensae 2 points3 points ago

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You would need a really, really, really powerful magnet.

[–]voice_of_unreason 1 point2 points ago

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It didn't work.

[–]denniskupec 15 points16 points ago

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how does that even happen

[–]Burlapin 4 points5 points ago

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Probably intentionally. Looks like it would have to br crushed by being run over a lot?

[–]octoquake 5 points6 points ago

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I could see it maybe falling out of a car while driving at a significant speed and even possibly being run over after falling out.

[–]WiiMachinE 2 points3 points ago

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My question is how is it that the home button doesn't look even remotely fucked up? Either it's fake or they make their home buttons out of diamonds.

[–]rizzon 0 points1 point ago

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It happens when Apple announces a new iPhone model. Insurance claim!

[–]denniskupec -1 points0 points ago

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true story

[–]xsoapboxherox 80 points81 points ago

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I love The IT Crowd

[–]csharp1990 23 points24 points ago

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Did you see that ludicrous display last night?

[–]Roundy210 16 points17 points ago

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What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?

[–]CrossCheckPanda 17 points18 points ago

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The thing about arsenal is they always try to walk it in.

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Too bad he got it wrong. It’s actually “Have you tried turning it off and on again?”.

[–]david_n_m_bond -1 points0 points ago

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Works with women too.

[–]P-Rickles 1 point2 points ago

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Right, I'm going for a letch on Five.

[–]Zurtrim 1 point2 points ago

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Are you sure it's plugged in?

[–]lolwhuttt 1 point2 points ago

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The internet doesn't weigh anything

[–]jaggazz 0 points1 point ago

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I so wish this would come back to IFC...

[–]laetus 0 points1 point ago

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[–]theryko -1 points0 points ago

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Second

[–][deleted] 23 points24 points ago

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[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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Hahah, with that and the OP I nearly pissed myself.

I LOVE THE INTERNET!!!

[–]Syncronyze 1 point2 points ago

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Ocean Marketing in its early days.

[–]lord_nougat 2 points3 points ago

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No, the replies are too coherent and understandable. The phone fixer guy responded somewhat angrily, but he didn't resort to weird incoherent babblings about knowing a mayor and being some kind of super internet badass.

[–]SonOfDadOfSam 6 points7 points ago

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Have you tried forcing an expected reboot? You see the driver hooks the function by patching the system call table, so it's not safe to unload it unless another thread's about to jump in there and do its stuff, and you don't want to end up in the middle of invalid memory.

[–]free_range_human 2 points3 points ago

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This doesn't seem like sound technical advice and could very well lead to a virus, especially if the table calls invalid memory before another thread has a chance to settle down and discharge.

I would first uninstall/reinstall everything. Once you've uninstalled/reinstalled everything, then reboot and let the master thread load the jumper from the jump drive. Just don't let the driver hook catch the tuna file just under the sea drive. That could really lead you toward invalid memory.

[–]Marz_The_Damaja 13 points14 points ago

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Yah but... did you try it?

[–]ANewAccountCreated 10 points11 points ago

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Fucking unremovable battery. There's your problem right there.

[–]blurio 5 points6 points ago

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3 screws later and it is.

[–]Crimyote 7 points8 points ago

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3 screw and a voided warranty later and it is.

[–]iamdan1 1 point2 points ago

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Does the warranty cover a new screen?

[–]Contero 1 point2 points ago*

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I have no idea why you would get downvoted for saying this, since it's completely true.

Edit: I do, however, know why I'm getting downvoted, and it's because I made the crucial mistake of complaining about downvotes!

[–]89rovi 1 point2 points ago

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Blurio's post is being downvoted by people who think Apple warranties are worth something.

[–]barnesandnobles 1 point2 points ago

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I made the crucial mistake of complaining about downvotes!

Well to be fair you also went against a Sicilian when death was on the line

[–]dgamer5000 5 points6 points ago

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YOU KILLED LINK.

YOU BASTARD.

[–]GoesToE1even 4 points5 points ago

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dead link :(

[–]Only_has_lame_ideas 4 points5 points ago

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I don't get what all the fuss is about, you all make really good points...

[–]Marshmon 4 points5 points ago

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That'll buff right out

[–]barnesandnobles 0 points1 point ago

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Toothpaste is the secret

[–]KyroDCK 6 points7 points ago

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There's an App for that

[–]reynej 2 points3 points ago

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I'd say someone's girlfriend didn't like the text messages they found on their boyfriend's phone.

[–]Seabass182 2 points3 points ago

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I think your problem is a little scratch .

[–]rampantdissonance 2 points3 points ago

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Have you tried setting it to Wumbo?

[–]diet_mountain_dew 2 points3 points ago

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Put in a bowl of rice for a couple of days. It won't actually help, but when you have to buy a new one at least you can tell the cashier judging you that you tried.

[–]spectraphysics 1 point2 points ago

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It would appear that you have used that in a way not intended by Apple, Inc.

[–]MilkDaddy 1 point2 points ago

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Well is it plugged in?

[–]Bipolarruledout 1 point2 points ago

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This is a simple fix. All you have to do is reboot the universe.

[–]Drcool54 1 point2 points ago

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He must be a Genius. They know everything at that Genius Bar

[–]Socks_In_The_Mirror 1 point2 points ago

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Just a flesh wound.

[–]Beulshite 1 point2 points ago

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I had to look at my phone in fear just to make sure it was okay.

[–]Justintime233 0 points1 point ago

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Unplug it for 15 minutes and try it again.

[–]mcmurphy1 0 points1 point ago

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The Broflovski method fixes everything

[–]FlashFan 0 points1 point ago

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facepalm

[–]JakeCoffman 0 points1 point ago

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keith may have something there

[–]javi5747 0 points1 point ago

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It'll work if you hold the home and sleep button at the same time until it restarts, works for me everytime :D!!

[–]potpan0 0 points1 point ago

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Are you sure it's plugged in?

[–]BelugaTaquito 0 points1 point ago

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It looks like it's been fried in Tempura batter.

[–]kingscotticus 0 points1 point ago

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you get what you pay for

[–]Wackydude1234 0 points1 point ago

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Doesn't hurt to try..

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That's why windows phone.

[–]teyegurspoon 0 points1 point ago

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Did it get dropped in a fucking volcano? wtf

[–]Spawkes 0 points1 point ago

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Restart your router! It's the root of all tech-related problems. Already tried that? Restart again!

[–]fredbot 0 points1 point ago

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HAH! 1001 up votes. No even numbers for you!

[–]hostolis 0 points1 point ago

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"This account has been suspended".

[–]FraggotMan 0 points1 point ago

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[–]zafuinthebigtop 0 points1 point ago

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Needs otter box

[–]likeasir 0 points1 point ago

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It's funny because it's really broken.

[–]HyPerWeRRa 0 points1 point ago

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Step 1: Head on over to reddit. Step 2: Check out all the reposts!

[–]BertrandLoganberry 0 points1 point ago

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Fun fact: My sister's Kindle had frozen one day. She had tried all the button holding reset methods and whatnot but it was still frozen on the same image. I turned it off and on again and it went back to normal.

[–]theenriquesuave 3 points4 points ago

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That's the joke. Switching it off and then on again solves a ton of software issues, so the commenter has humorously suggested that the same fix will work for the hardware issue.

I'm sure it's hilarious now that I've explained it to you.

[–]BertrandLoganberry 2 points3 points ago

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Gosh. I am so lucky I had you explain that simple, well known joke to me. You truly are a superior being.

[–]theenriquesuave 3 points4 points ago

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Few can say that they've been patronized by the Enrique Suave. You should feel honored.

[–]Mariling 0 points1 point ago

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Facebook is not "the internet".

[–]Stabfist_Frankenkill 8 points9 points ago

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Maybe not, but it is a part of the internet.

California is also not America. But if I am from California, am I also not from America?

[–]Contero 1 point2 points ago

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Free advice from the universe.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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How the FUCK do you do that to Gorilla Glass????

[–]legion02 7 points8 points ago

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Because it's not Gorilla Glass. Also this.

[–]ElPolloRico 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, I learned the hard way that iPads aren't made with Gorilla Glass either. One slip off the couch (2 feet maybe) and the screen was a goner.

I only owned it for 4 days at that point too....sigh.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Oh wow!!

[–]Magnesus -1 points0 points ago

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I scratched Gorilla Glass easily.

[–]bignem -1 points0 points ago

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http://geekisawesome.com/2020/free-advice-from-the-internet/ if you use this link, you can actually view it from the actual website. Due to browser caching you may have to open this link in a new tab/ privacy mode.

[–]b0w3n -2 points-1 points ago

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So that's what happens when you throw your iPhone at drivers who piss you off. Thanks reddit!

[–]chubbyakajc -2 points-1 points ago

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you should throw it at a Microsoft product