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top 200 commentsshow all 470

[–]bottom_dweller 292 points293 points ago

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Call me an overconfident braggart if you must, but I feel that I could retrieve the nutella without springing the trap. And that even if the trap did spring, that I could just lift it up again and walk off with the jar.

[–]kaldrazidrim 159 points160 points ago

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Heh. Honkeys fall for it every time.

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points ago

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At least we finally have a food that we, as white people, are recognized for enjoying specifically because of our skin color.

It seems wrong, but I welcome racism coming our way. Bring it on minorities!

[–]Toribor 34 points35 points ago

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I'm a white man... You can't even hurt my feelings.

-Louis C.K.

[–]Skyline969 1 point2 points ago

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Ruined my day. Brings me back to owning land and people.

[–]Forever_aClone 1 point2 points ago

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Lincoln was a pussy --Thomas Jefferson

[–]Kombat_Wombat 58 points59 points ago

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Yeah, nutella is wayy better than watermelon and cat. Take that minorities!

[–]CalamityVic 31 points32 points ago

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Which minority eats cats?

[–]Kombat_Wombat 58 points59 points ago

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Asians. This was a tasteless joke.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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This entire post was tasteless.

[–]lexvegas 59 points60 points ago

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No, cats are pretty tasty.

[–]ag04 5 points6 points ago

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They make a purrfect edition to any meal.

[–]ochmand 1 point2 points ago

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w/ nutella?

[–]TranClan67 6 points7 points ago

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But I love cats D:

[–]snowycrazyking 9 points10 points ago

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Really? They're just as tasteless as the joke...

[–]scots23 1 point2 points ago*

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He said cat, not tofu. I heard cat is much more flavorful. I'm not Asian though, so who knows?

[–]coolstorybroham 8 points9 points ago

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Notice how he avoided fried chicken. I question the strength of your convictions!

[–]Kombat_Wombat 8 points9 points ago

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Hrmm, you've found a hole in my almost watertight rebuttal. It's because fried chicken is really fuckin good.

[–]anthrax_ripple 7 points8 points ago

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I heard somewhere that the white people food was Macaroni and Cheese.

[–]Downhilldude 5 points6 points ago

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Up north we call it kd.

[–]aarchaput 1 point2 points ago

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That's the Canadian food.

[–]retardo-montoban 7 points8 points ago

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Don't forget mayo, us white devils loves the mayo.

[–]failparty 1 point2 points ago

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I shudder in revulsion at the mention of mayonnaise.

[–]SpartanAltair15 2 points3 points ago

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I'm white and i hate nutella with a passion >.>

[–]retardo-montoban 14 points15 points ago

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Out of frame: Big black guy with net gun.

[–]mijamala1 1 point2 points ago

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Scene: The future.

[–]chikhen 5 points6 points ago

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the trapper has outsmarted you. after you have "cleverly" escaped the trap, you sit there for days trying to actually open the nutella lid.

[–]Steel40 1 point2 points ago

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damn man, how? It gets me every time.

[–]fquizon 1 point2 points ago

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The nutella contains a heavy sedative. The physical trap is an elaborate ruse. I tell you this, because your weak caucusoid biology will give in to the chocolate and hazelnut anyway. You cannot stop it.

twirls mustache

[–]DrPeacemaker 1 point2 points ago

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That's what they all think.

[–]osmigos 28 points29 points ago

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Not only is it Nutela, but it's free Nutela. Since free food has 0 calories, this is Nutella that you can eat all the time without gaining any weight. The gains clearly outweigh the risks, even if it is clearly a trap.

[–]deflective 12 points13 points ago

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with this information i've formed a new hypothesis.

we've always assumed that slender women were more likely to receive free drinks at the bar, but what if women who get free drinks just become slender because of the calorie free alcohol?

in order to test this i'll need female test subjects to come to my place every weekend and consume large amounts of alcohol.

[–]scots23 10 points11 points ago

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If heaven is real, you just described it.

[–]T0tai 203 points204 points ago

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The correct title should be: how to catch any one with a fucking pulse. That shit is fucking delicious you motherfucker

[–]1getitdone 34 points35 points ago

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IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE I'M WHITE BUT I'M NOT OFFENDED IN THE SLIGHTEST.

[–]nambio 14 points15 points ago

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How to catch a black person: http://i.imgur.com/Oe2cm.jpg

Are we being racist yet?

[–]internetpersona11 3 points4 points ago

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Getting there... wait wait, yes.

[–]Steevey 1 point2 points ago

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Y'see, how is that racist, but this isnt?

[–]so_this_is_me 46 points47 points ago

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Is there something wrong with me? I just don't like it ...

[–]Brimmk 63 points64 points ago

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yes...yes there is... There's something wrong with my aunt too, she doesn't really like nutella either. I secretly think she was adopted 'cause she loves brussel sprouts (everyone either tolerates them or hates them) and hates fudge.... fudge, man... fudge....

Next thing you know, she'll say she doesn't like parfaits...

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points ago

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Whoa, whoa, hating on brussel sprouts is not ok.

Alright Brimmk, I challenge you to buy a bunch of brussel sprouts, not that soggy canned shit.

Now. Take a bit of olive oil and put it in a skillet. Turn the burner all the way up. Make that oil sizzle. Now drop about eight of those sprouts in there and stir 'em around and shit with a spatula or somethin'. Now once they get all shiny and turn a little bit burnt brown with lots of green take 'em out of that skillet and put those delicious-ass-sprouts in your mouth!

Oh, and feel free to spread a little butter over 'em and shake some salt on there. Tastes good man.

[–]Cerbyn 26 points27 points ago

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Delicious ass-sprouts.

[–]ILinkToRelevantXKCDs 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Pit-trout 4 points5 points ago

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Mmmmm, yes. And if you’re feeling fancy, some walnuts too, and a li’l squeeze of lemon juice at the end. Oooh, now I’m hungry…

[–]valvestar720 4 points5 points ago

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I make it similarly but also throw in garlic and onions... and bacon. Delicious.

[–]septhanie 1 point2 points ago

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Stay with me on this one: in addition to this, add a small amount of sundried tomatoes and goat Brie.

[–]JuanTooTree 1 point2 points ago

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Hell no, I don't like no parfait...

[–]DJBJ 1 point2 points ago

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STOP NOT LIKING WHAT I LIKE.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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Fool!

Have you eaten that shit with BANANAS?

[–]malfunktionv2 11 points12 points ago

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It's fucking BANANAS.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Best crepe I had in Paris was with Nutella and banana slices

[–]gkow 1 point2 points ago

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Nutella and strawberries crepe.

[–]light_sweet_crude 1 point2 points ago

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I challenge that, with the Nutella, coconut, and Bailey's crepe I had in London.

[–]Infinite_Curvature 10 points11 points ago

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IF YOU DONT LIKE NUTELLA YOU'RE EITHER A DIABETIC OR NOT HUMAN

[–]euphoric_barley 3 points4 points ago

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I'm with you. I really don't see the big deal.

[–]Steel40 9 points10 points ago

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GET OUT! JUST GET OUT RIGHT NOW! GO AWAY!

[–]euphoric_barley 1 point2 points ago

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IT'S CANDY AND YOU'RE FOOLING YOURSELF!!

[–]this_makes_no_sense 1 point2 points ago

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LALALA I CANT HEAR YOU

[–]nosredna87 1 point2 points ago

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Try mixing it with peanut butter. I like it on toast. Sandwiches with some honey or bananas ain't bad either. On top of cookies is good.

What I am trying to say is Nutella is a nice wingman, I don't believe it can perform on its own.

[–]Hellstruelight 1 point2 points ago

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I don't like it either. Is there a support group for us because it seems nobody understands.

[–]zolfe 1 point2 points ago

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I don't like it either.

[–]sapo916 1 point2 points ago

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You probably want to check yourself into a mental hospital. Just tell them you don't like Nutella and they won't let you leave.

[–]Enraged_Professor 3 points4 points ago

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As a white person, I have honestly never heard of Nutella before reddit, and have still never heard of it or seen it outside of reddit.

[–]fquizon 1 point2 points ago

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Move.

[–]gkow 1 point2 points ago

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God, where do you live so I never go there.

[–]Battlesheep 1 point2 points ago

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Same for fried chicken, I don't see what's racist about it

[–]xxkatyladyxx 18 points19 points ago

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On my bucket list: putting my husband's dick in Nutella before a BJ.

[–]MedievalKnieval 14 points15 points ago

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The sugar will give him a urinary tract infection.

[–]impablomations 19 points20 points ago

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I don't think she plans on letting it stay on her husband's dick long enough to make much of a difference.

[–]JimboMonkey1234 8 points9 points ago

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dm;hs

[–]Hellstruelight 7 points8 points ago

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doesn't matter; had some(nutella) ?

[–]adrianmonk 3 points4 points ago

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Citation?

[–]meesebyte 1 point2 points ago

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HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED.

[–]rafkamodie 3 points4 points ago

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I'm sure that will be the first thing on his mind!

[–]KnuckleDraggingGamer 3 points4 points ago

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You know, you can just use a spoon.

But then, I've never loved anyone enough to want to smear my precious Nutella on their...junk.

[–]theredkap 2 points3 points ago

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It is quite the pleasurable experience for all involved.

[–]grumble_au 1 point2 points ago

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I'm sure if you told him you want this you could cross this off your list in about 15 minutes.

We can wait.

[–]phasers_to_stun 30 points31 points ago

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I'd let myself get caught.

[–]what_thedouche[S] 19 points20 points ago

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pedobear is running to costco right now.

[–]phasers_to_stun 5 points6 points ago

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/drools

[–]DumbQuestion_ 1 point2 points ago

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why would you do that

[–]phasers_to_stun 7 points8 points ago

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Dumbquestion...

[–]CartmanVT 2 points3 points ago

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I'm white and have never had Nutella. Bring on the downvotes!

[–]shaker28 35 points36 points ago

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Downvotes? You've clearly suffered enough...

[–]DrPeacemaker 3 points4 points ago

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Go to the store. Buy some. You will not be disappointed.

[–]spartiecat 61 points62 points ago

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you'll catch more white people with ranch dressing as bait.

[–]chroninc 28 points29 points ago

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OMG ranch dressing? Where? I can put it on salad and put it on pizza. I could probably put it on some sort of desert, if I hadn't run out putting it on my fried cheese. mmmm....

[–]veiledrose 12 points13 points ago

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Don't forget french fries!

[–]Qurtys_Lyn 11 points12 points ago

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I would prefer a chocolate shake for my Fries, thank you very much.

[–]smguy101 21 points22 points ago

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I'm African-American and I thoroughly enjoy Ranch dressing.

[–]deflective 8 points9 points ago

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if we went to race-stereotype elementary i'd totally trade you lunches for watermelon

[–]rafkamodie 1 point2 points ago

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I doubt it. Seriously. Can't be true. Not possible.

[–]scots23 0 points1 point ago

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I'm German-American and I think the shit sucks.

[–]SaltyBabe 2 points3 points ago

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Ranch dressing for the Americans, Nutella for the French.

[–]naked_ditchdigger 24 points25 points ago

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Not sure if the tub-n-stick or Nutella is the trap.

[–]barricus 14 points15 points ago

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Upvote for "tub-n-stick".

[–]retardo-montoban 6 points7 points ago

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Wear down big game through diabetes.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]egleason 13 points14 points ago

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None of that sounds good.

[–]throw_a_weigh11 6 points7 points ago

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But I don't like nutella. :-(

What is wrong with me?

[–]ted3681 4 points5 points ago

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Not 100% white I guess.

[–]RomanAbbasid 5 points6 points ago

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So.... is being in a box with nutella a TRAP now? I'd call it awesome.

[–]foxmtbr 1 point2 points ago

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It's really more of a 'lounge' than a 'trap'

[–]brehm90 5 points6 points ago

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Correction: How to Catch a European.

[–]urnotoriginal 4 points5 points ago

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You mean how to catch Redditors and Europeans.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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I can't eat hazelnut. So good luck capturing me.

[–]ted3681 4 points5 points ago

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You cant hide from its amazing, kill you or not, it will steal your opinion.

[–]CrimsonKevlar 8 points9 points ago

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I have a working theory that Nutella was actually created by a crack team of racist food-scientists working to undermine the accomplishments of George Washington Carver.

[–]Riliz 1 point2 points ago

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Are you kidding me? Nutella was made by God.

[–]Cerbyn 1 point2 points ago

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They tried ALL the nuts before they found hazelnut to be the most delicious.

[–]YUNoDie 4 points5 points ago

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How to catch a European

FTFY

[–]GreyouTT 2 points3 points ago

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Jokes on you, I've never had nutella.

[–]Sweetcheex76 3 points4 points ago

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I'm white and can't stand Nutella.

[–]MrRiceRocket 10 points11 points ago

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How to catch a white person ANYONE

FTFY. Seriously, Nutella is that damn good.

[–]redkey42 2 points3 points ago

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Replace jar with Vegemite and put a plate of toast out... Oh yeaaah

[–]meesebyte 1 point2 points ago

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Translated that to your native tongue:

"ɥɐɐɐǝʎ ɥo ˙˙˙ʇno ʇsɐoʇ ɟo ǝʇɐןd ɐ ʇnd puɐ ǝʇıɯǝbǝʌ ɥʇıʍ ɹɐظ ǝɔɐןdǝɹ"

[–]parvicide 2 points3 points ago

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You can imagine how happy I was to see this whilst being totally toasted with nutella all over my face.

EDIT: You can safely assume I'm caucasian.

[–]phreeck 2 points3 points ago

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As a whitey, I have NEVER had nutella. I also refuse to believe it's that good.

[–]Doubleugee 2 points3 points ago

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How to catch a repost

[–]LandSharks 5 points6 points ago

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I'm white, I love that shit

[–]Spr09 5 points6 points ago

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you mean mayonnaise

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Nutella? No, how about hummus with tortilla chips? Pretty sure only white people think that's a culinary master stroke.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Not pita chips, that's okay, but tortilla chips? That's just WRONG.

[–]T-Luv 5 points6 points ago

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I'm white and I don't like hummus at all. At parties, my friends are always like "Try the hummus, try the hummus." And I eat one chip with hummus on it and it's the worst part of the night.

[–]drmacinyasha 3 points4 points ago

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Am I the only whitey who has never tried Nutella, and has no desire to?

[–]Messiah 1 point2 points ago

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No, but I had to scroll a long way to find you.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Seems like a waste of nutella, if you ask me.

[–]purplejelly 1 point2 points ago

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omnomnom nutella

[–]nicknameminaj 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not going to even begin to try to pretend that's not true.

[–]TheHowlingWolf 1 point2 points ago

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Only one jar? Pah.

I'd have got in, eaten the whole thing, and got out (to seek more) before that box had even started to fall.

[–]nirvana1103 1 point2 points ago

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oh a piece of candy... oh a piece of candy.

[–]jcoopr86 1 point2 points ago

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so glad i wasn't the only one..

[–]the_repair_man_man 1 point2 points ago

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I'm white, and my first thought when I saw this picture...... I fuckin' LOVE Nutella.

[–]takovacs 1 point2 points ago

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There is no string tied to the stick. I'd take both the nutella and the tub.

And the stick

[–]Forgot_Username 1 point2 points ago

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I thought I was white, I do not like nutella so.. I am not white. What have I done with my life!

[–]Trenchleaf 1 point2 points ago

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I don't like nutella. Does this mean I am no longer a white person?

[–]indelmcmxc 1 point2 points ago

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I'm black and I fuckin love this shit nigga... Real talk though

[–]HorseGrenade 1 point2 points ago

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Nutella on multigrain here. Just finished some as a matter of fact. The shit's like fucking catnip. I just want to scratch my ears and lick myself fiercely with satisfaction.

[–]impactblue5 1 point2 points ago

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[–]bangaroo55 1 point2 points ago

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I like peanut butter more and think neutella is overrated

[–]aquateen5 1 point2 points ago

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To catch a redditor

[–]Oooohlala 1 point2 points ago

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Why is this exclusive to white people? I'm Asian. This would work on me.

[–]FortBriggs 1 point2 points ago

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I'm black and this would work for me.

[–]iwillupvoteyourface 1 point2 points ago

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I am white and i don't like nuttella i am the 1%

[–]true_grit 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Drucifer86 1 point2 points ago

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I accidentally punched the screen reaching for it

[–]balkybetty 1 point2 points ago

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i ate this for dinner last night. i felt strange about waking up in bed with the spoon and jar. glad i'm just a stereotype and not weird.

[–]Hellstruelight 1 point2 points ago

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Am i the only white person who genuinely doesn't like nutella?

[–]henry61646 1 point2 points ago

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As a white person, I find this to be accurate.

[–]Zoccihedron 1 point2 points ago

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Am I the only white person who does not like nutella?

[–]TheoQ99 1 point2 points ago

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Fuck it, I don't care. You could trap me and keep me in a cage. As long as I have my Nutella, all will be good.

[–]cleverquack 1 point2 points ago

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Please put up more of these in my neighborhood.

[–]rolfie25 1 point2 points ago

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[–]nuklz 1 point2 points ago

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i am brown and i approve this message....

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]nnyx 1 point2 points ago

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Am I the only white person that doesn't really think nutella is a big deal? I think it's pretty good but nothing to write home about.

Also, does it repel non-white people or something as well?

[–]mambypambyland 1 point2 points ago

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This isn't racist, yet put a bucket of KFC under there and say "How to catch a black person" and you'd be called a FUCKING RACIST ASSHOLE.

Ahhh the double standards of America.

[–]hkdharmon 1 point2 points ago

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As a white man, I say "What the fuck is nutella?"

[–]madanimal 1 point2 points ago

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as a white person who has never had nutella, I cannot relate to this post

[–]pandez 2 points3 points ago

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I'd say "how to catch a white north american" would be more accurate. Now make that a jar of vegemite and it's "how to catch an australian" _^

[–]Cerbyn 2 points3 points ago

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I find that racist. I'm an Australian and I love Nutella, but can't stand even making a vegemite sandwich.

[–]pandez 1 point2 points ago

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My friend from Sydney made the joke on IM when i sent him the link. Blame one of your own! LOL

[–]AllWrong74 3 points4 points ago

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OK, what the fuck is Nutella? I see it all over Reddit, but have never once seen it in real life. Is this some meme I missed?

[–]Cuzimwhite 4 points5 points ago

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I guess its okay for people to be racist against white ppl....if we stand up for it i guess that means we are racist as well.

[–]sushisushisushi 1 point2 points ago

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So brave.

[–]DougLance 1 point2 points ago

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Humans are too intelligent to be caught by such an obvious trap.

[–]Cerbyn 8 points9 points ago

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What you can't see is the real trap surrounding the decoy trap. A humans gonna be all like "What a ridiculous trap", then when he reaches under for the Nutella a much larger and grander trap will spring, most likely something involving lasers and pulleys.

[–]DougLance 2 points3 points ago

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A simple tiger punji pit would suffice.

[–]samisachickYEAH 1 point2 points ago

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More like, "how to catch 80% of the population" I'm pretty sure everyone likes nutella man.

[–]Realworld 1 point2 points ago

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Costco free sample, tasted Nutella for first time. Tastes OK but too sweet and sticky.

[–]Qzetolman 1 point2 points ago*

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Put this on /r/trees, but change the name to "how to catch a high person". You're welcome. EDIT: I'm retarded

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ted3681 1 point2 points ago

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Put anything thats not on [1] /r/trees on [1] /r/trees, Your welcome.

Fixed

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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OH BOY I DO LOVE ME SOME CHOCOLATE SPREAD

oh my, it seems to have gone dark all of a sudden. this reminds me of that one time on safari in the congo when...

[–]nambio 1 point2 points ago

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How to catch a black person: http://i.imgur.com/Oe2cm.jpg

Are we being racist yet?

[–]barn63 1 point2 points ago

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I don't understand how the original picture is OK but the picture you posted is considered racist. Amazing how racism only works one way.

[–]Junee28 1 point2 points ago

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Too bad I hate Nutella :|

I'VE FOILED YOUR PLANS!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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YOU MONSTER

[–]yup_nope 0 points1 point ago

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I thought mayo was most effective bait?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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As I very proud white person I must tell you...that shit would work on me.

In fact, as a proud and true white person, I have some in my cabinet right now.

Peace Out sir, I must take my leave.

[–]mtrush98 0 points1 point ago

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im to fat for your tote....check mate!!!!

[–]Darkyoda07 0 points1 point ago

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How to catch any person*

[–]DrunkmanDoodoo 0 points1 point ago

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There is no way that would work. Fool me once...

[–]Rosencranz 0 points1 point ago

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They get me like that every. damn. time.

[–]wolfchimneyrock 0 points1 point ago

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wait. that might just work...

[–]pickoneforme 0 points1 point ago

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i know i'll get downvoted, but i have actually never tried it.

[–]vw209 0 points1 point ago

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Worth it

[–]Dentarthurdent42 0 points1 point ago

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I tried Nutella once. My girlfriend got me a Queue de Castor covered in it. I didn't know what it was at the time: it just looked like chocolate. It just so happens that nuts have a slight tendency to make me die. I buy my own food now.

[–]jacksclevername 0 points1 point ago

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It's true. That shit's delicious.

[–]tardkart 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, I don't even know one person who eats that. Must be Northern/Euro thing. From FL.

[–]GhostedAccount 0 points1 point ago

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Posted during australian business hours.

[–]truestatic 0 points1 point ago

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I don't believe I could get both me and my Rascal in to that trap.

[–]swiftverbicide 0 points1 point ago

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I bet I can snatch it

[–]retardo-montoban 0 points1 point ago

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No self respecting nutella eating white person would fit in that bin.

[–]Code227 0 points1 point ago

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not again!

[–]breachofcontract 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck.

[–]H8te 0 points1 point ago

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My sneak skill is pretty high, I think I can snag it...

[–]xianr 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Pibbles 0 points1 point ago

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OMFG.