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top 200 commentsshow all 393

[–]Noslo101 60 points61 points ago

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My father used to tell me that "Nice guys don't get laid" should be changed to "Nice guys who don't let the girl know they're interested don't get laid" and honestly that's the best advice I've ever been given. If I see a cute girl that I'm interested in, I don't try and befriend her. I approach her confidently and as a potential boyfriend. Of course this doesn't always work, I get turned down a lot but I also get of lot of success.

The biggest part is getting over the fear of rejection. Yeah, it happens and its not that bad, and it's certainly nothing to stress over. I mean hey, it unrealistic to always expect a fish to bite every line you cast. And this goes both ways, I've had girls flirt with me that I'm not into and I've had to turn them down.

I've seen tons of guys just get sucked into the friendzone because they hesitate. They start letting doubt take over, and say things like "Now's just not a good time, she's really stressed etc etc". Even worse is when they get this idea in their head that goes something like, "Well if I just text her all the time/write her a love song/become her doormat she'll have to come around!". Don't do this, its annoying and gets you nowhere.

TL;DR Just say fuck it and make a move. It's not like everyone will shun you for getting turned down, and if you do get turned down well then you're right back where you started except now you know for sure. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain.

[–]yawncontagion 27 points28 points ago*

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As a woman, I wish more guys did this. Instead I've had a bunch of guys try and sneak their way into my life as 'friends' when they really want to be 'boyfriends'. I would be more comfortable if they just said "I would like to date/have a grown up sleepover with you, would you be interested in that too?" and then BAM, we could move past the clumsy 'seduction phase'. Instead they pretend like they just want to be my friend and try sponging up my time, and I don't really want to be pre-rejecting romantic advances which haven't even been made. It just seems presumptuous, even when I am damn sure that's what's happening.

[–]sambojomo 10 points11 points ago

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You can't fear rejection, one must accept it as an inevitable part of the dating process.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Noslo101 0 points1 point ago

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Upvoted for wisdom.

[–]qqpl3x 1 point2 points ago

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TL;DR "the one who releases all attachment to a desired outcome is most likely to reach that outcome" - mystery

[–]Planet-man 0 points1 point ago

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The idea is that they DO make a move and the girl PUTS them in the friendzone as a response.

[–]Drout 6 points7 points ago

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That's when you tell her that you're not interested anymore and move on. Hell, 50% of the time when you do that they will want you.

[–]Credwords 1 point2 points ago

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BTW this is how you stay out of the friendzone. It's called closing the circle otherwise known as self-respect

[–]Drout 0 points1 point ago

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Exactly

[–]welcometaerf 0 points1 point ago

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My father was a serial cheater. I promised myself at a very young age that I would never cheat or break up a relationship. I'm in love with "the one", but she's currently dating a nice guy I don't want to hurt. I can't stop tearing them apart, and the boyfriend is departing for a month-long work assignment tomorrow morning. I feel a tidal force at my back propelling me towards her, and I'm very confident that she feels the same way. What the hell do I do now?

[–]TheFightingFarsi 140 points141 points ago

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It really pisses me off that a lot of other dudes seem to have it in their heads that being nice to a girl somehow obligates her to be romantically interested in you. There's 3.5 billion women on the planet. Pick another one and quit yer bitching already.

[–]cheezy8 30 points31 points ago

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GOD, WHY ISN'T EVERY GIRL I HAVE A 3 MINUTE CONVERSATION WITH INTERESTED IN ME?

[–]vahntitrio 7 points8 points ago

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I think too many guys have it in their head that being nice is the only thing women are interested in. There will be times she wants a nice guy, yes; but there will also be times when she wants a funny guy, times when she wants a sexy guy, times when she wants a strong guy, times when she wants handy guy, times when she wants a smart guy, and yes even times a guy that's a jerk she can fight. If you are only one of them: you'll never be the guy she wants to be around all the time.

[–]fogburner 1 point2 points ago

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You cannot be only one.

[–]vahntitrio 0 points1 point ago

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But you can appear to be only one of those to her.

[–]MyriPlanet 40 points41 points ago

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It really irks me how some people think that all females are more or less the same, just a place to put your dick. Who cares about any individual, so long as you get a warm body somewhere to fuck, right?

[–]Komnos 23 points24 points ago

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While this is a fair point, if there are 3.5 billion women on the planet, and if we agree that the idea of each person having one pre-destined "soul mate" is Hollywood folderol, then odds are good that even if the friend-zoning woman is of the highest caliber, other equally worthy women are nearly certain to exist. Heck, you might even find someone who's a better match for you than the one who's friend-zoning you.

[–]marco_mars 12 points13 points ago

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tl;dr there's plenty of fish in the sea

[–]MyriPlanet 7 points8 points ago

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For sure. But the question isn't whether or not there is a solution (there is; one would think, even if this soul mate concept were real, one of the traits of a soul mate would be that they're actually into you).

My question is, why does everyone use this as an excuse to look down on people? Some guys have different tastes, some guys get hurt by rejection. Why, instead of telling them "it sucks, but move on" do we instead feel the need to go "HA HA PITIFUL WHY DONT YOU JUST FUCK MORE BITCHES I MEAN COME ON HERE ARE TIPS ON HOW TO FUCK BITCHES".

It's like they don't understand that the reason they're upset is not because they just want pussy, but because they've been socially rejected by someone they care for.

No one does the equivalent to a woman who is upset by romantic rejection; no one tells her to just go fuck some other men as if that's the answer to all their problems. You can be hurt by a bad relationship and still be seeking a new one at the same time.

It's not this binary between no emotional attachment, fuck all the things, and being a helpless obsessive who thinks he can't be happy without 'the one' who doesn't want him.

[–]geekology 11 points12 points ago

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I don't think TheFightingFarsi was saying that. I believe he was just recommending friendzone'd men to just move on. Additionally, he mentioned that being nice to a girl does not obligate her to be romantically interested in you. This is a fair point, as most people who are friendzoned think it is the girl's fault and not their own. Women are allowed to have close male friends that they do not have sex with.

[–]MyriPlanet 2 points3 points ago

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They absolutely are.

Point is, there's no point in endlessly ridiculing every guy who gets friendzoned, because literally every guy will probably be friendzoned at some point.

[–]QuerulousPanda 5 points6 points ago

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I think you are overreacting a little... I dont think he meant "pick another woman and shove it in her," i think he meant "find another woman to express an interest in and persue a relationship with, and stop being butthurt because that one girl rejected you."

Your sentiments are quite valid, but misapplied to this situation i think. :)

[–]fogburner 0 points1 point ago

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What's the Bollywood alternative?

[–]anubus72 3 points4 points ago

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if you can care that deeply about one person once, you can do it again. Move on and find someone who is into you and stop making yourself feel like shit with the friendzoned forever alone bullshit

[–]TheFightingFarsi 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah... not what I was saying at all. I'm really tired of hearing my guy friends piss and moan about how well they treat their female friends and "how little" they get in return. Guess what assholes: if you're just being nice to a girl because you want to sleep with her, you're not really such a nice guy.

The whole "nice guys finish last" argument is a crock of shit. Just because a girl isn't attracted to you doesn't mean she's some horrible shallow bitch who doesn't value a true friend or whatever. It means she's not attracted to you. People don't get to choose who they have feelings for. And I think it's bullshit that a lot of guys decide to fixate on one girl for frankly embarrassing amounts of time instead of doing the healthy thing and moving on. Newsflash reddit: you're probably not going to meet your soulmate at age 18. If a girl clearly isn't into you, maybe have some respect for the fact that she just wants a friend and move the fuck on.

/rant.

[–]NotTheLittleBoats 0 points1 point ago

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I'm really tired of hearing my guy friends piss and moan about how well they treat their female friends and "how little" they get in return.

Guys who expect sex from a woman because they're nice to her are assholes, but the related complaint that the guys who are (overtly) assholes are getting more is legitimate.

The whole "nice guys finish last" argument is a crock of shit.

Wrong.

[–]wheatie 20 points21 points ago

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I believe "friend zone" dudes have watched a few too many romantic comedies....just a guess.

[–]AndyRooney 81 points82 points ago

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"Here, take these two balls and call me in the morning."

[–]toastyghost 15 points16 points ago

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read in your namesake's voice, and that made it even better.

[–]fogburner 0 points1 point ago

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That is disturbing at some level.

[–]Anarchistas 37 points38 points ago

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But but but but but

My mom and my aunt told me to be nice to girls and always buy them flowers and other gifts! Also never say no to a girl or she will hate you!

[–]purple_penguinator 38 points39 points ago

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All these "friend zone" posts get to me too.

I don't know how often in school, and in high school especially, that all the girls, especially myself, would constantly want a bf, and tried to be friends with guys at least, but the guys never wanted a gf! They loved the single life (wannabe playa life?) and us girls were considered the "forever alone" if not in a serious relationship or almost married by the time we hit 21.
NOW, all I hear is that no girl wants a bf and all your poor saps are "friendzoned"? No, you just didn't let the girl know you were interested before she thought of you as a friend. Continue being friends with her, and if she's a good enough friend, you let her know you like her, and if she is not interested in you that way? Guess what, you now have a chick friend who can tell you what other chicks like you and YOU ASK HER OUT.

tl;dr? Friends zoned? ASK HER OUT, if NO, still have friend = not alone

[–]Thumbz8 9 points10 points ago

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How can you be into someone before getting to know them, how can you get to know them without being their friend?

[–]yay_socialism 0 points1 point ago

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I take it you've yet to be in a long term relationship that started with fucking on the first date? Odd, all of my relationships except one started that way; even my first and second wives!

[–]Wooshbar 2 points3 points ago

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I can not fathom this. It would feel like taking out a prostitute there is no connection beforehand and therefore ya I want to get it done but... I just don't see the point of doing it with someone you don't know at all.

[–]brinkmanship 1 point2 points ago

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Well, you don't have to have sex on the first date. Those dates are where you get to know each other.

[–]Wooshbar 0 points1 point ago

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Hmm. My point is also moot because I can't have a conversation with someone I don't know out fear/ why would they want to talk to me anyways so.... Have a nice day.

[–]yay_socialism 0 points1 point ago

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lust is a beautiful thing; that's the connection: you share a mutual desire to fuck each other senseless. you get to know their body, their smell, their taste, their movements, their pleasure, their orgasms. It's nothing like a prostitute at all.

[–]Wooshbar 0 points1 point ago

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Well then I guess I understand why I could not understand this. I have never had someone who was not in a relationship with me feel like this towards me, or if they did had not acted upon it. It sounds lovely to say the least.

[–]Thumbz8 1 point2 points ago

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True, but given the choice, I don't think I'd do it. What's the point, if you only know them a date? Might as well pay for a prostitute.

[–]BushidoSamurai 13 points14 points ago

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Yea, but sometimes when a guy asks a girl out that they have been friends with, they ignore us like we're a damn ghost. I've had this happen to me multiple times. I call it the "ghost effect" because I'll become close to a girl, then let her know I like her and ask her out. She then says,"No, lets just be friends." Then I never hear from them again. Even when I try to talk to them face-to-face they act like I don't even exist. They look right past me like a ghost is trying to talk to them. It's easy for people to say "man the fuck up," but when girls pull asshole moves like that, it's fuckin' soul crushing cause you didn't just get denied, you lost a friend.

[–]gredreen 9 points10 points ago

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YES, exactly! Because after that moment, they think of you as weird and want nothing to do with you. You pretty much stop any sort of friendly contact that's not simply being polite.

[–]vivalavulva 1 point2 points ago

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I only ever "ghost" someone when they continue to hit on me and/or continually try to get me to exit a relationship I'm happy in after I've told them I'm not interested.

I'm not saying you do this, but 9/10 guy friends who ended up wanting to date/fuck me did. And let me tell you, from my perspective, it really fucking sucks.

[–]pressatocheryl 3 points4 points ago

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I know that feel, bro, and I'm a woman. The same thing happened to me. You are not alone in this bullshit.

[–]MeloJelo 2 points3 points ago

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Not saying this didn't happen, but did you ask them out in an awkward way? Like were they cornered? And how much time did you give it between asking them out and trying to hang out again? Did you try to hang out with mutual friends? What exactly did you say when you were asking them out?

[–]purple_penguinator 0 points1 point ago

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I've known girls who have done that, and that is sad and immature. In some situations, it's a good(ish?) thing, where you don't need to be associated with someone who can't handle other people having feelings.
I've had various situations: Friends with this guy, thought he was super cute, and he was really nice, I was the shy girl, didn't say anything, never had a bf before, and find out he's dating one of my best friends. Another time, at the end of high school, when everyone is signing others yearbooks, I look inside mine and find out this guy who I was barely friends with had a huge crush on me for 3 years, but I never knew he even liked me. In Uni, I had two guy friends, who I coudln't see as bf material, who at one point prob had feelings for me, but our friendship won out. ...and now I am typing too much. :(

[–]FameAsser 3 points4 points ago

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this is reddit, not the real world- there's a difference.

[–]anubus72 1 point2 points ago

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well to be fair that was high school, and people mature after high school. I have to assume most people on reddit arent highschoolers

[–]brinkmanship 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, but you're assuming they did that whole maturity thing after they graduated.

[–]Ninjatastic01 1 point2 points ago

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Your sanity is disturbing.

[–]HaggarShoes 3 points4 points ago

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The guy on the right looks like Ron Paul. There. It was said.

[–]NonViolentWar 0 points1 point ago

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That was my first thought as well.

[–]bestfriendz 51 points52 points ago

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posts mocking friendzone posts are still friendzone posts. Stop it, you.

[–]jackdriper 10 points11 points ago

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Eh. These mocking posts are funny while the other kind of friendzone posts are just whiny and irritating.

[–]Words_Myth 6 points7 points ago

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But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun, his shenanigans are cruel and tragic.

[–]Scientwist 0 points1 point ago

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I'm going to pistol whip the next person who says shenanigans!

[–]Grumpuff 0 points1 point ago

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shenaniganurrrghhhghhh

[–]Zepheus 12 points13 points ago

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I'm not saying it was the OP, but it looks like someone removed the someecards watermark. Might as well give credit where credit is due.

[–]TroubleSquared 8 points9 points ago

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For fuck's sake, the friend-zone isn't real! If you act friendly with someone just because you want to screw them, you're not a friend. If you never make a move on a girl and get passive aggressive when they date someone who's more forward, it's not their fault. It's yours. You are not instantly entitled to a relationship just because you don't act like a complete shithead. If they're not interested in you, that sucks, but grow up. Girls aren't bitches for finding your Nice Guy TM act repulsive. There's a lot of awesome people around, chances are you'll eventually run into one who's right for you.

[–]biggie4mayor 4 points5 points ago

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Lol jeez I don't think I've ever seen so many douches on one thread before. Not saying I disagree with the post but seriously most of the friendzone shit is just highschool and college kids. They'll get over it without you "men" verbally assaulting them.

[–]equinoxhaze 2 points3 points ago

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Yup that about sums it all up. I hate it when your guy friends think you're obligated to fall in love with them just because THEY ARE INTO YOU. sigh ugh. Some guys need to grow the fuck up. Same goes to girls. Advice to those stuck in the friend zone: tell the friend how you really feel. get the pain/rejection or glory/joy out of the way.

[–]RandyMFromSP 29 points30 points ago

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"Become more attractive."

[–]iampayette 4 points5 points ago

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That is an active process you know. Attractiveness is not a passive trait.

[–]dollarglis 7 points8 points ago

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[–]alaniva 1 point2 points ago

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That's brilliant.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Say_Ocean 102 points103 points ago

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I don't think it has anything to do with being manly or masculine, it's about being a functioning, strong, self-sustaining adult.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]signorafosca 17 points18 points ago

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There ya go!

[–]MeloJelo 13 points14 points ago

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Isn't the more mainstream saying "grow the fuck up"? Though come to think of it, I like adult the fuck up better.

[–]Hybernative 2 points3 points ago

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Ageist!!

[–]SnakeJG 3 points4 points ago

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Some other options instead of "man up" are:

  • Cowboy up
  • Put on your big boy/girl pants
  • Put on your big girl panties

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Colostomy 2 points3 points ago

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I prefer "Flame on!"

[–]SuspendTheDisbelief 1 point2 points ago

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Fabulous!

[–]FameAsser 2 points3 points ago

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Ya, everything on Reddit has to be gender neutral for some reason. It's all about semantics here, folks.

[–]Saganomics 19 points20 points ago

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Are you kidding? All you have to do is spend an hour on Reddit to see that it's rivalled only by 4chan in places that tolerate, even encourage, sexism.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]erez27 0 points1 point ago

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Adult the fuck up! Wait what?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]GargamelCuntSnarf 1 point2 points ago

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You're never going to be heard against the din of knuckle-dragging that's going on ITT.

[–]random_hex_string 50 points51 points ago

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As a forever-aloner who is slowly getting out of it, it's really not as easy as just "act like a man". Because of several physical and mental health problems, I spent most of my childhood in almost complete isolation. I simply had absolutely no frame of reference how to talk to people, much less women. The only "experience" I had was from watching movies and TV shows, where a common theme is for a guy and girl to slowly get to know each other and then suddenly one day realize they're meant for each other. This was how I thought dating worked.

So it's no wonder the first few times I attempted to woo a girl that I got immediately and permanently friend-zoned. I thought I was doing things right. I was terrified of coming off as some creepy asshole who just wanted to have sex, so I never even gave the slightest hint that I was attracted to them. Combine this with my already low self-esteem and lack of experience, and it becomes painfully obvious why girls weren't romantically interested in me.

It's taken almost 8 years of hard work for me to get to where I am today. Now I can comfortably talk with girls, flirt with them, even have the occasional hookup. But at no point was there ever this sudden realization of "oh, I just need to man the fuck up! I GET IT!!!". I had to change my entire worldview of human social interaction and basically learn from the ground up how to talk to people.

I often find it very depressing how reddit has this very negative view of forever-alone guys (and girls). Redditors like to boast about being "different" and "socially awkward", but for those of us who really have problems socializing, we're cast off as "nice guys who only talk to girls to try to get in their pants".

So I think you need to "man the fuck up" and realize that not everyone has lived the life that you have, and that many of the things you take for granted are completely alien to other guys.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]random_hex_string 17 points18 points ago

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Trust me, at my worst I was the epitome of forever-alone. I had a few friends in college, but after graduating I spent almost an entire year in complete isolation. I would go days without any human interaction at all and could go a week without saying more than "hello" or "thanks" to anyone. I had no friends, no job, no motivation to do anything other than think about how I could kill myself.

The way I see it, many many guys are where I was back then. Alone, depressed, but worst of all, unaware of how to break out of it. It's easy for "normal" people, even myself today, to look at them tell them to just "snap out of it", but it's not that easy. The isolation and depression conditions you to think that you're literally sub-human.

Yeah, some guys are very stubborn and refuse to accept that they are the ones with the problem, but I think that's a minority. Most forever-alone guys just want a chance, and I think they deserve encouragement and motivation, not scorn.

[–]deyur 0 points1 point ago

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I had a sarcastic comment but it sucked. I just wanted to say that I'm glad you made it through all that shit to be around today. I probably won't ever meet you, and maybe you're actually an objectively terrible person that eats seal pups after beating them to death with kittens, but I'm glad you're still here. Be well.

[–]gredreen 4 points5 points ago

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Damn. I'm exactly like you were in the past. If you don't mind, how did you learn from the ground up?

[–]random_hex_string 8 points9 points ago

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Lots and lots and lots of practice. The last year in particular has been a massive improvement for me.

After I finally got a job, it took me 2 more years to make any friends, but I finally found a few guys I could go out to bars with regularly. This gave me the opportunity to interact with people who were open to talking with strangers. Over the last year I've talked to almost 300 people at bars, and about 50-60 were girls. It was a long process with many awkward and depressing moments of rejection. The first few girls I talked to clearly had no interest and walked away after just a minute or two, but slowly I built up a few "scripts" of ice-breaker conversations. After I was able to get past the small-talk it started to get a lot easier.

Since then my improvement has almost been exponential. Conversing got easier and easier, and within the last few months I was able to start getting girl's numbers and finally met a girl who I could instantly tell was really into me...lost my virginity about 2 months ago. We hooked up a few times but decided that was the most that would happen. But it was a huge confidence boost and now I find it so much easier to initiate conversations with girls. I don't even need my ice-breakers, I just say whatever's on my mind and it seems to be working. I've got a date this weekend that will almost certainly end back at my apartment, and I have high hopes this will be more than just a hookup :)

[–]Ormild 2 points3 points ago

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damn, you make it sound hopeful for guys like me. I'm still trying, but it's so damn scary trying to talk to a girl at the bar. I'm not even sure why, logically I know they are nothing special and they have their own insecurities and faults, but damnit, my body still freezes up.

[–]conv3rsion 2 points3 points ago

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In my experience, the bar is a terrible place to try to talk to girls because A) some women actually don't want to get hit on at the bar (I'm serious) B) its loud C) you have to deal with their friends who are usually there

Join a club or a coed sports team in your area and you'll meet girls where you already have a shared interest.

[–]deyur 0 points1 point ago

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The thing that sucks is that talking to girls is entirely about confidence, and there's no quick fix to that. This goes hand in hand with the "assholes can pull easily" thing - if you genuinely believe that you're an awesome person, people will notice it. The reason it sucks is your scumbag brain will continue to tell you that you suck because of x, y and z.

I found it easier to talk to girls when I had basically given up. My attitude was pretty much "there is no way I'm getting laid, I might as well stop trying to impress her and just talk about the shit that actually interests me". This is a pretty terrible strategy, and probably belongs in /r/shittyadvice. You probably won't manage many random hookups this way.

But if you get super lucky, one day you'll end up in a conversation with someone, talking about things that actually interest you, and she'll be interested. And then you'll know you have a keeper.

[–]Daemon_of_Mail 1 point2 points ago

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You may have Aspergers, like I do. I've managed to pull out of most of it, but some of my symptoms still exist. I understand entirely just how hard it is for those with Aspergers to develop even a "normal" social connection.

[–]FadeJunior 1 point2 points ago

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Doesn't seem like so. Just an isolated childhood is all. As you can see, I can relate.

[–]Wooshbar 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you, I would like to think of myself as not a forever aloner but more of just Talking to someone you don't know frightens me, and also why would anyone want me in the first place so ya it has nothing to do with "girls are stupid grrr" but Damn I can't wait for this hard work to finally be worth something that way I can talk to people and have something to be proud about haha.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Wooshbar 0 points1 point ago

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This is the kind of talk I always wish I had from a father figure. You made my day thank you.

[–]FadeJunior 0 points1 point ago*

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You pretty much described my life. I'm not very old, almost 17, but fuck did I grow up isolated. I don't blame anyone for it though, consider the fact that i've lived in north hollywood most of my life. Still, when I moved to a much nicer place, I had no fucking idea how to interact and make friends. Everyone else is miles ahead of me, being in a (widely) Mormon based state and all, everyone interacted with one another at early ages. It's hard catching up, especially being in highschool. Not to mention, being raised without a father figure and a open minded mother, I never really understood what it meant to "Man the fuck up." Sure, I know how to understand feelings and shit, but that's only half of what you need to know to make it socially. Maybe i'm just complaining, but this guy is right. It's certainly more daunting of a task to some than others.

[–]zackks 0 points1 point ago

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^ This is how you know there is a need to put the man-pants on and join the big boys. You can either find one reason or another to blame whatever it is that troubles you, or you can take positive steps to correcting it (whining about shit isn't even a start).

I could spend my whole life, like my sister, blaming my parents for all the bad shit that happened in our childhood and be nowhere (where she is) or I could do what I did, which was to get the fuck over it and make shit happen.

[–]SuspendTheDisbelief 0 points1 point ago

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I was sort of like that. I had a wonderful childhood, loving parents and everything. But I never really got exposed to friends, or other kids outside of school. I never really had friends that I could go hang out with. After I moved, I met no one for a long time- There were two or three people total that I talked to for years.

Then BAM, highschool. I was totally unprepared, and essentially had to build up my emotional and social knowledge from the ground up, completely. I still have issues with it, and actually became quite depressed for a long time. Proper socialization is very important.

Even after I got past my horrific self esteem issues and depression, it took a long time to climb all the way up to where I am now, able to function socially in my group of friends. I owe a lot to those guys too- a few of them who have been with me from the beginning put up with a LOT from me. One or two I could even say I owe my life, because they were a pretty good support group for me.

My turning point came last year, because of something I read on reddit of all places. "Climb a mountain, tell no one." That phrase has a lot of power, and was perfect advice. It was sort of the final piece I needed to continue my growth as a person. I needed to respect myself, and give myself something that I could be proud of, and keep it for myself.

It takes time, and I can see it all from both sides now. I'm still far from perfect, heavily introverted but also very sociable now. Smalltalk and meeting new people still confound me, but I'm working on them. Every step is positive.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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Dude, calm down. You got hit with a problem and you searched out a solution and you're working on it.

That's what 'Manning the fuck up' MEANS.

[–]iwatchtv 13 points14 points ago

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I think telling someone to "act like" an archetype that's essentially based on a historical fallacy is a little problematic.

If, to you, acting like a man or manning the fuck up means coping with life and being strong in the face of a challenge, does that mean that well-adjusted women are actually men? Or are they just acting like men?? Or maybe being a man is a matter of biology and has nothing to do with how you face challenges or how well-adjusted you are. Maybe...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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"man the fuck up" is a synonym for "learn to deal with your problems", it's just a saying

[–]DeepFriedChildren 127 points128 points ago

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Maybe you should man the fuck up and not get completely fucking butthurt when someone disagrees with what you say.

[–]ZiggyPox 3 points4 points ago

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It's not about "acting like man". It's about LOGIC.

I have been (hard)friendzoned by a girl that reaaaaly wanted me only as a friend, "some guy" to hang around with her and to feel that she's desired. So well, fuck this, I "don't-give-a-fuck" zoned her and she couldn't understand why.

That's simple: I'm not interested in "friendly" relationship with her (Don't mistake it with being "buddy"). In this situation we can be colleagues, but nothing more. Because, I won't let someone treat my romantic afirmation as a "my close man friend". And it's not like I have faced refusal from her side. She has many times intentionally evaded topic to maintain status quo.

Well, fuck that. We both want different things, I'm just honest with myself and I behave according to my will. It's not like she wasn't doing the same thing, but now I'm more comfortable with outcome.

[–]RedShirtedAss 31 points32 points ago

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artlutherie is doing a damn service to a lot of guys that don't just get it. If their ignorance is preventing them from going anywhere, then damn its their fault but at least he was decent enough to give them perspective.

[–]Kurtank 13 points14 points ago

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Decent

Calling them a bunch of pussies

He's the next goddamn Rockafeller.

[–]deputy1389 10 points11 points ago

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OR maybe you can man the fuck up and defend your opinions

[–]MeloJelo 12 points13 points ago

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But that's haaard :(

[–]narcoholic 1 point2 points ago

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OR maybe you can fuck the man up and opinion your defends

[–]deputy1389 1 point2 points ago

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I bet I could eat 100 cheeseburgers

[–]Mullinator 0 points1 point ago

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You actually care?

[–]deyur 3 points4 points ago

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This comment thread is now about proving how little we care about everything because we are all internet badasses.

[–]Mullinator 0 points1 point ago

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Well I was the first who didn't care!

[–]deyur 0 points1 point ago

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I don't even care that you didn't care first.

Just whatever, man.

[–]Mullinator 0 points1 point ago

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Pshh whatever

[–]deputy1389 0 points1 point ago

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YES I CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE.!

[–]MyriPlanet 24 points25 points ago

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The latent sexism on reddit is strong. I especially love all the faux-alphas who chestbeat over the internet.

[–]GargamelCuntSnarf 12 points13 points ago

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MAN UP BRO

[–]MyriPlanet 11 points12 points ago

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I'm trashing people and talking about how I once fucked like, five people, even though I have five kinds of autism and overcame it. I was once in a wheelchair but through the sheer power of balls I learned to walk AMA.

[–]GargamelCuntSnarf 3 points4 points ago

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Depressed? Listen to the fucking Partridge Family. Duh. Stop being sad.


It's really just the absolute transparency of these comments that gets to me.

Personally, working so closely with so many people of such varied backgrounds for so long, I'm forced to assume that these individuals who present as such vacuous, empathy-sapped MANMEN have very limited capacity for and experience in caring for other people.

[–]ephesus89 2 points3 points ago

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I always thought being a man was more about being a responsible, dependable, and confident person than being masculine.

Kind of like the Mulan song.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Don't forget mysterious as the dark side of the moon!

[–]BarkingSpider 7 points8 points ago

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"So man the fuck up, like me!" Hunches back over keyboard clickity-clickity-click

[–]nepidae 10 points11 points ago

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I don't believe that man the fuck up is a gender specific term to be honest. Just like bitch is not gender specific.

[–]mdf676 10 points11 points ago

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But they each mean something very different depending on which gender you say them to. When you call a girl a bitch, you probably aren't implying that she's too passive and un-masculine.

[–]sTiKyt 1 point2 points ago

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Really? Does anyone with half a brain here actually believe that? When is "man up" ever used besides telling someone to act more masculine?

[–]thereisnosuchthing 1 point2 points ago

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I once told another redditor to 'act like a man.'

I then had another redditor explain to me how that is stereotyping males and could hurt the more sensitive males here on reddit. That is such fucking bullshit. Sometimes you do need to man the fuck up and quit acting like a bitch. Life is a bitch and will own your weak ass.

Go join the army or something, you idiot - some people have minds, and "be a man" generally doesn't have meaning to (or apply to) them like it applies to the kids(read: uneducated 30 somethings who still have the minds they did as teenagers in their high school cafeteria who work construction or joined the police force) down at your local pub.

[–]cottonball 1 point2 points ago*

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While I understand where the other redditor was coming from (being all for equality and shit)... I still don't understand why "manning up" should only apply to men. It's an issue because it's a sexist, MALE stereotype, right? The statement itself is confusing even but, really, who ever decided that women don't need a dose of "man the fuck up" too?

[–]sTiKyt 1 point2 points ago

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Or woman the fuck up for that matter. I fucking doubt the op would be "man" enough to say that.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]cottonball 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, errmm, I wasn't directly criticizing you. Rather, I was speaking against the person who spoke against you who did use sexism as an argument. Your statement was already quite well understood although I appreciate that you explained it further for knowledge's sake!

[–]cheezy8 1 point2 points ago

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I then had another redditor explain to me how that is stereotyping males and could hurt the more sensitive males here on reddit

Because stereotyping females is O.K.! -_-

[–]Greenei 1 point2 points ago

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To tell someone who never had a gf to man the fuck up is pretty much the same to say "get smarter", when someone tells you he isn't good at math. Its not helpful at all.

[–]HLWorkin 1 point2 points ago

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Out of curiosity, not because I disagree with you or anything, but how are we defining masculinity here? Just so we're on the same boat and all, I would hate to be caught against the tide. Are we going with Chuck Norris, or Don Draper?

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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Seems to me 'Masculinity' is not being offended when someone tells you to act like a man.

[–]Wooshbar 0 points1 point ago

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God I hate that phrase. I have never had Man up explained to me. Just told to man up before. Well thanks for the help self confident successful people. I am glad your instructions to success were clear enough for me to follow :/

[–]remember_cassettes 16 points17 points ago

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Swallow some cement and harden the fuck up!

[–]alaniva 2 points3 points ago

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Yeehaw!

[–]The_Adventurist 5 points6 points ago

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In order to grow up, you have to learn that important lesson. All too often, you learn it the hard way.

[–]CrossCheckPanda 6 points7 points ago

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giggity?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Giggity indeed.

[–]CrossCheckPanda 0 points1 point ago

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If there iss anyone who knows if a giggity is needed, it is "tittybackmcgee"

[–]ChaChaBolek 7 points8 points ago

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"I keep my standards low so I'm never disappointed." -My Friend

[–]bboytriple7 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck that's depressing...

[–]provert 2 points3 points ago

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I needed that advice growing up. So many wasted opportunities.

[–]Murdoch888 4 points5 points ago

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I've been grinding a relatively ugly girl in my comp sci class for about a year now. i've specced out my gear for seduction (my finest fedora and a pair of pants with only a little bit of cat hair on them) and invested over 1000 gold in gifts and add ons. So far I'm still stuck in the friend zone. Can any of you redditors suggest the right dialogue options-- or failing that, cheatcodes-- to enable the blowjob cutscene? I tried to reset my character with a bottle of whisky and some aspirin, but mum called the ambulance before I could get the safety cap off

[–]youll_be_alright 2 points3 points ago

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Up up, down down, left right, left right, B A, start

[–]buttking 1 point2 points ago

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Jokes on you, I'm completely oblivious in ALL aspects of my life and don't even know how to man the fuck up. Take that.

[–]Canilearnbubblebeam 1 point2 points ago

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I read that as "Fuck the man up". Squinted a bit, inhaled and reread.

[–]drummer21895 1 point2 points ago

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[–]faceny 1 point2 points ago

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Read OP linked image, searched for "Chopper". Not disappointed. Upvote for Ronnie Johns Half Hour and my favourite of their creations.

[–]drummer21895 1 point2 points ago

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I just can’t believe on a thread this big that no one posted it before me.

[–]faceny 1 point2 points ago

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I thought the same and then ... you got there before me. I'm just happy that Ronnie Johns gets a little more exposure.

[–]Tillhony 1 point2 points ago

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Man up and suck that dick!

[–]LifeCerialReddit 1 point2 points ago

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This is very true. Not to be cliche' but I do live by the code if you want something you can have it. If you get friend zoned it is probably because you act like a bitch.com

[–]holyerthanthou 1 point2 points ago

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An this is why there Is a sharp increase in suicide rates in men between the ages of 20-25.

[–]Danez 1 point2 points ago

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Just look at Friendzone Johnny! He manned the fuck up into a terribly awkward situation. Poor bastard is now famous for making the terrible mistake of being a little bit too nice.

[–]SlickRoach 1 point2 points ago

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What is a man but a miserable pile of secrets?

[–]dorisfrench 1 point2 points ago

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How is this funny?

[–]ataripixel 4 points5 points ago

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Repost much? Man the fuck up and post something original.

[–]Nebakanezzer 3 points4 points ago

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reddit cycle: a bunch of posts about the friend zone. a bunch of posts from the female perspective about the friend zone. a bunch of males response to the female response to the friend zone. a bunch of people bitching about the friend zone posts. a bunch of people bitching about the people bitching about the friend zone because they in actuality are still making posts about the friend zone (and so are these people). wait a week. repeat.

[–]TeeBane 3 points4 points ago

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I guess there has to be a series of posts about the friendzone followed by posts complaining about posts about the friendzone followed by posts complaining about posts complaining before this is over...

[–]Polderty 3 points4 points ago

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But I don't want to make things awkward.

[–]Timthos 2 points3 points ago

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Man up and get in that ass!

[–]Polderty 2 points3 points ago

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Not sure if you know what friendzone is but funny none the less.

[–]Powerfury 0 points1 point ago

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It's already awkward for you if you think you're friend zones already

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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Things will get awkward sooner or later.

Plow through it.

Women -notice-

[–]MayorEmanuel 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Friendzone_Judeau 2 points3 points ago

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Harsh, some of us have legitimate friend zone stories.

[–]Tweak34 2 points3 points ago

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Isn't this a post about the friend zone?

[–]Edso_828 0 points1 point ago

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Remember when r/funny was about funny pictures, and not this buillshit friendzone shit, take your problems to another subreddit. I came here to laugh, not highlight my own inadequacies.

[–]OneAndOnlyJackSchitt 0 points1 point ago

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You must like Santorum. (Based on that frontpage post about the guy that is donating a dollar to Santorum for every 'friend zone' mention that reached the front page.)

[–]MILKYJOEnz 0 points1 point ago

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there are as many betas as there are alphas now

[–]Mullinator 0 points1 point ago

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"Watch out, we got a badass over here."

Honestly, that's what's going through my head after seeing this.

[–]trua 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Mr1one 0 points1 point ago

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Women usually want a "man", and thats usually who they are attracted too. How many times have guys been friendzoned because the girl is into some asshole, or a guy has been dumped for some asshole. Those assholes are "men" and are pretty good at showing it off thats why they always get the girls.

Now I'm not saying go be an asshole to women (which works because women are weird), but you have to have confidence and be able to show it to women. The more you ooze confidence the more girls will be attracted to you. Thats all there is to it.

[–]BlueSunTzu 0 points1 point ago

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Why is Ron Paul, a OB/GYN, examining a little boy?

[–]furtogdogwater 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you, honestly all this friend zone bullshit is getting ridiculous.

[–]huxception 0 points1 point ago

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I told the girl I liked how I felt about her.

She told me she had decided to become a lesbian.

[–]TheKingOfDownvotes 0 points1 point ago

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Frasier once said, "I'm alone... because I'm afraid of being alone?!"

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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toadally

[–]vinmeister3000 0 points1 point ago

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Damn, that looks like Dr. Ron Paul prescribing man the fuck up

[–]CloneDeath 0 points1 point ago

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Tell them to Move the Fuck on to a different chick.

[–]Pooters 0 points1 point ago

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WHOLE BUNCH OF PUSSIES IN HERE.

[–]DasSchnurbs 0 points1 point ago

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I'm a woman and frankly, I'm sick of the friend zone posts as well and I'm glad that someone said it.

I'd much rather be with someone who manned-the-fuck-up and just let me know they were romantically interested. That shows me that you take initiative and go after what you want.

[–]tdmiami 0 points1 point ago

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Save

[–]Ninjatastic01 0 points1 point ago

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I wish I could somehow make reddit realize that the friend zone is the best place to be to get a girl. Every successful relationship I've ever had I've achieved from the friend zone. Girls like to date their friends. Be excited when a girl wants to be your friend, you're making progress.

[–]rezamanh89 0 points1 point ago

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Haha I was chatting to a friend yesterday about this so called friend zone and he told me his method for getting out of it.Line up the ones moving overseas/away and take them out for drinks under pretense of celebration.He then says "We have been friends for a while lets change that!" Sleep with them,gets awkward and then they leave.Ruthless method.

[–]lomo_de_puerco 0 points1 point ago

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This is excellent. About a year and a half ago I met the all-time coolest girl at the restaurant that I worked at. I was a server there and she was a customer. She had a boyfriend at the time and still does. This has never stopped me before though so I played it cool and started spending a little time with her. Little by little I got to know her. She graduated from the degree program I was currently studying and looking forward to pursuing, she loved nintendo, smoked pot occasionally but not to much to affect her discipline or motivation, she was reserved but very funny, a little weird, and all together very attractive. After about a year of keeping my feelings from her (not very well I might add), and her throwing around terms like "friend" and "buddy" which I just tended to ignore, I told her exactly how I felt, and I felt no shame or fear in this honesty because she had meant a lot to me. Needless to say she got a little weirded out. We began to hang out less and less and I know have not seen her in months. The long and the short is that yes; I struck out, struck out in fact, with who I still consider to be the girl of my dreams. Regardless though, I kept my chin up, kept being positive and pursued other fields and ended up having sex with a lot of attractive women, none of whom though were as attractive intellectually, emotionally and "spiritually" (I can't think of the word I want so this is what I'll use, she was not religious)

TL/DR: Let her know how you feel, if she's not down, man up. "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."