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all 171 comments

[–]Parzee 190 points191 points ago

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moist & unstable > dry & stable

[–]Cozmo23 147 points148 points ago

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I'm going to make it so dry for you.

[–]Snoopyseagul 80 points81 points ago

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You're going to feel things you've probably felt before.

[–]Parzee 41 points42 points ago

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(and never want to feel again)

[–]wakeentry[S] 38 points39 points ago

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In prison, you don't get a choice.

[–]ANewAccountCreated 19 points20 points ago

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Well, hopefully those days are behind you now.

[–]mriparian 14 points15 points ago

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If not, you'll have something else behind you.

[–]_liminal 7 points8 points ago

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better bend over and check it out

[–]wakeentry[S] 11 points12 points ago

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Bubba?

[–]ReidEatSleep 5 points6 points ago

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Bronson.

[–]enlightenyew 4 points5 points ago

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Ever break a stick in half in the dirt?

[–]LargePants 2 points3 points ago

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I have in my pants.

[–]ltdanaintgutnolegs 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah!! Lets do it missionary!

[–]goldnboy 14 points15 points ago

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Nsfw...this dry?

[–]Bismillah9 12 points13 points ago

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[–]Irongrip 0 points1 point ago

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Relax brah. There's still lube in there. That's just cigarette smoke.

[–]shoompdawoomp 10 points11 points ago

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uhmmmm what

[–]woes 5 points6 points ago

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That train definitely runs on steam.

[–]AriBBCP 2 points3 points ago

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oh god i can't breath

[–]Slownique 1 point2 points ago

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Only YOU can prevent forest fires.

[–]im_probablyjoking 1 point2 points ago

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oh yeah this happens all the time. you get used to the friction burns after time.

[–]fatmex 0 points1 point ago

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oh that's too funny, she farted on his dick

[–]danguro 0 points1 point ago

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Source?

[–]damunzy 5 points6 points ago

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[–]beleren 1 point2 points ago

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dry & unstable > Sahara desert > forever alone

[–]borkborkbork99 1 point2 points ago

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They feel like two bags of sand...

[–]betterthanthee 0 points1 point ago

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Then I'm going to chomp down. With my teeth.

[–]malapropist 0 points1 point ago

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That is the opposite of what is good.

[–]LuckyAmeliza 0 points1 point ago

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[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ezekiel375 6 points7 points ago

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The problem with crazy ex's/significant others is that they know how to get at your emotions, so it isn't surprising that you were broken up over her.

[–]Gareth321 7 points8 points ago

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Yeah, this is the correct answer. The crazy ones are a roller coaster of emotions. Every day it's a new emotion. The lows are terrible, but the highs are amazing. Like anything, it can become addictive. But as we grow up, we realise these relationships aren't healthy. They also rarely last (or our sanity begins to show cracks). After they're over, we tend to fixate on the highs, while forgetting the lows. Further, as you said, partners who perpetuate that drama are often very good at manipulating people. Best to run and don't look back.

[–]gitarmunky 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for describing my first relationship.

[–]Beefcakes_McGee 1 point2 points ago

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saved for truth

[–]Parzee 24 points25 points ago

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I have to ask: Did this have anything to do with the anal penetration?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Lord_Hex 36 points37 points ago

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This is like finding out a celebrity is allergic to peanuts. I dont really give a shit but I know I will read this fact again soon.

[–]doubledubs -1 points0 points ago

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With Reddit Enhancement Suite you can read it every day!

[–]tbe170 7 points8 points ago

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Kind of like having a name like ICE CREAM, but not having it since college and actually not enjoying it much at all.

False advert, brah.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Jerzeem 13 points14 points ago

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also, all men.

[–]wakeentry[S] 7 points8 points ago

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What about the hermaphrodites? Are they stable?

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points ago

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hermaphrodites can go fuck themselves....

[–]wakeentry[S] 2 points3 points ago

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I know right. Fucking snails.

[–]arsaw 3 points4 points ago

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upvote

[–]face_phuck 32 points33 points ago

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[–]caldric 5 points6 points ago

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Didn't expect that - almost spit out my water.

(next time I'll bite the pillow)

[–]Regular_Dude 2 points3 points ago

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*Except for the ass

[–]TYCO69 1 point2 points ago

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This is so corny it is funny.

[–]Starwheel 1 point2 points ago

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How does dry and stable happen unless the woman is like 40-50+? J/w

[–]ebonythunder 3 points4 points ago

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I don't see what being a Jehovah's Witness has to do with anything.

[–]LuckyAmeliza -1 points0 points ago

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I thought he was censoring himself saying Jew.

[–]monkeywhisperer 2 points3 points ago

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antihistamines.

[–]xor48B7 3 points4 points ago

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2b a5 38 c5 18 97 34 c0 38 ea 38 ba 36 88 3c 91 3b 94 34 de 10 80 2a 97 3c 85 39 e5 3b 94 36 88 3b d7 35 80 38 d7 3d 90

[–]delvicon 2 points3 points ago

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+¥8ŗ4À8ê8º6ˆ<‘;”4ހ*—<…9å;”6ˆ;×5€8×=

I guess I don't get it.

[–]xor48B7 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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haha huh?

[–]acktagatta 0 points1 point ago

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It's a puzzle! I wish I knew my shit with programming languages.

[–]kj_ 7 points8 points ago

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Made a quick website to decode this..

http://www.mousepointpro.com/xor48B7/

[–]internet_eq_epic 0 points1 point ago

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2e 9f 35 88 3a de 3b ef 13 80 3d d8 39 9e 18 11 18 a3 38 af 18 a4 3a 85 18 a5 3c cd 3c d6 38 9d 31 88 22 88 3c e8 39 9e 35 80 3b 91 3a cd 10 a2 14 80 3b 99 3b e5 3d 85 34 c8 3d a2 3e 99 3b c7 18 a4 33 c8 39 d1 39 ed 3c c5 18 97 3d ac 18 a7 3a b1 18 30 2b 6a 3a 9e 31 c8 3c a2 3b cc 3d 8b 39 8c 18 96 3b ec 3a 91 3b c7 18 a2 39 89 39 81 38 d4 31 9e 18 16 3b ef 18 11 18 87 39 ac 18 91 35 80 16 d1

[–]xor48B7 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

22 88 3c c5 39 ea 39 ac 18 95 38 9b 3a 9e 31 c8 3b 85 3d c5 33 80 14 d6 10 80 29 c1 34 c0 3d 97 33 c8 3b 99 3c dc 39 89 39 91 3b c7 13 80 38 9e 31 80 3b 91 3a cd 3b b1 18 97 3b d4 36 88 3c df 3b a6 38 8a 3b 85 18 82 36 88 30 88 3c dd 38 9c 3b 85 34 c0 3c 85 3c c3 39 9e 3d 81 39 cd 18 a4 3a 81 33 c0 3b b9 18 83 3b dd 3b 8d 3b e4 34 cf 18 85 3c a3 3a 9c 3b de 34 de

[–]internet_eq_epic 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

2D CD 3B 94 18 11 18 A7 3B ED 3B 84 33 C7 35 80 3A 81 3D C5 18 86 3A 8F 3D AA 39 8C 18 91 35 80 3B ED 35 80 3A 8E 18 91 35 80 3D CD 3C C5 33 C7 35 80 39 D7 34 C0 3E 9F 3D AA 18 92 34 C8 38 DF 39 85 13 C0 2B D8 13 80 38 9E 31 80 3C D9 3B C3 31 88 22 88 3D C9 34 C8 38 D7 3C C5 31 94 18 11 18 84 39 8B 3A 8C 39 8C 18 A4 33 C8 3C 97 3C E4 18 91 35 80 3D 97 18 03 10 C8 1E 60

[–]Ueichen 0 points1 point ago

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le wtf did I just read?

[–]relevant_tom_waits 20 points21 points ago*

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Reminds me a little bit of an Emotional Weather Report

well the extended outlook for an

indefinite period of time until you

come back to me baby is high tonight

low tomorrow, and precipitation is

expected.."

[–]qrd 0 points1 point ago

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You'd better keep this shit up.

[–]zjpeters 0 points1 point ago

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This is the closest thing to jazz that I enjoy. And by enjoy I mean I'm gonna have a good night by myself.

[–]RLutz 34 points35 points ago

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Fact: Every woman I have ever known thinks the word moist is disgusting.

Also, panties.

[–]drgk 36 points37 points ago

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I suppose "dribbling pussy juice" is right out.

[–]velveteenmage 7 points8 points ago

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Woman here, I can attest to the latter but not the former.

[–]CapillarianCrest 2 points3 points ago

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Why is panties disgusting?

[–]velveteenmage 1 point2 points ago

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Not sure, it seems like a naughty word. Somehow I feel perverted when I say it... Although, underwear seems too clinical to me. I wish there was an in between :(

[–]sumebrius 1 point2 points ago

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Pantwear?

[–]CapillarianCrest 1 point2 points ago

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Underpants! I'm pretty sure science has proven that it's one of the funniest word of the times.

[–]velveteenmage 1 point2 points ago

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Underpants conjures up images of old-fashioned 18th century undergarments haha

[–]CapillarianCrest 1 point2 points ago

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Oh that's a good conjuring. I mean, it's just a hilarious word. The idea first came to me from the commentaries on Futurama, where i stole it. From then on, it's been my idea, and i never looked back.

[–]arsaw 4 points5 points ago

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I've had this conversation with my girlfriend (who does not find the word moist disgusting) and neither one of us can figure out why woman detest that word.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Woman here, does not effect me.

[–]BornWithCuriosity 2 points3 points ago*

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Not a fact. Moist is just another word, I don't see why other ladies think it's gross.

edit: word issues.

[–]doubledubs 5 points6 points ago

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I actually like the word moist. I find it sexy. moist.

[–]BornWithCuriosity 3 points4 points ago

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Indeed. It's so sexy.

[–]doubledubs 2 points3 points ago

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Moist... It's like I'm sitting in a puddle. A moist puddle.

[–]BornWithCuriosity 2 points3 points ago

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Feels so good, to be sitting in this moist puddle.

[–]drewd 0 points1 point ago

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FACT OBLITERATED

[–]relevant_rule34 46 points47 points ago

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[–]Macmoo 32 points33 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Chief-Slap-A-Ho 20 points21 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]creamy_dreamy 32 points33 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]psychosomatick 12 points13 points ago

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WTF

[–]shmimsy 4 points5 points ago

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ew ew ew ew

[–]drbold 1 point2 points ago

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Why? God! Just....why!?

[–]stillalone 7 points8 points ago

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I never click your links at work but I always like reading your hovertext. But as I hover over I raise my index finger up just so I can't accidentally click.

[–]qwertymaster 4 points5 points ago

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[–]SardonicNihilist 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, she uses ALL the fingers!

[–]balanceofpower 10 points11 points ago

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I have to wonder if OP has the same ex that I do; crazy hot in bed, just plain crazy everywhere else.

She from Hamden, CT?

[–]wakeentry[S] 7 points8 points ago

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No. Jersey. She wasn't really all that good in bed. She just kinda laid there. She was fucking sexy as hell though.

[–]Special_Mommy_Pop 1 point2 points ago

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..or Japan?

[–]Mentions_His_Mac 46 points47 points ago

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If you want to talk about Unstable, you should've seen my old PC. Boy, am I glad I got a new Macbook Pro.

[–]kker1 13 points14 points ago

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Upvote For Username Only.

UFUO

[–]Urizen23 6 points7 points ago

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Damn, it's colder than my ex-girlfriend's heart out there.

[–]Twillback 5 points6 points ago

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I can't relate my ex wife to weather like this since there is no "Lying and Cheating Whore Front"

[–]beeds 3 points4 points ago

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better than windy

[–]brolix 6 points7 points ago

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you like girls like weather? Got me beat, I like girls like old german cars. Beautiful on the outside, disheveled and broken on the inside, but my god is it fun in the meantime.

[–]joealarson 3 points4 points ago

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But which is which?

[–]gigantor8 4 points5 points ago

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She is just like a hurricane. when they come they're wet and wild. When they leave they take your house!

[–]freddiemercury1 3 points4 points ago

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what's wrong with a moist lady and an unstable weather?

[–]LeTigreLeTigre 2 points3 points ago

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"Moist" shudder

[–]3yrlurker2ndacct 2 points3 points ago

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Speaking strictly about the weather, what exactly does "moist & unstable" entail? I could see "raining like a mother fucker & unstable", but moist doesn't seem like that big of a deal.

[–]phillies26 7 points8 points ago

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You'll have to excuse the Weather Channel, they're like the Wal-Mart of weather information.

It's essentially the same thing. Moist in the meteorological sense is when the dew point is at or near the air temperature, which is conducive to precipitation events. The key here is the instability of the atmosphere. In an unstable atmosphere, there is a much greater potential for severe rain events (or, as you put it, raining like a motherfucker) due to the ability for warm air parcels from the ground making their way up into the relatively colder atmosphere and condensing due to the temperature contrast (colder temperatures = less water storage capacity).

So, moist in this case may or may not imply a precipitation event, but it doesn't rule out the chance that it is raining like a motherfucker.

[–]AllegraGeller 2 points3 points ago

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i read this entirely as a metaphor for wakeentry's ex

[–]wakeentry[S] 0 points1 point ago

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As did I.

[–]harrythebau5 2 points3 points ago

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You sir are my hero

[–]levind 2 points3 points ago

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This is why I wish they'd give hurricanes more appropriate names. Something like "Wilma" just doesn't seem the accurately represent how terrible hurricanes really are. Let's name the next one after my ex girlfriend... At least the forecast will be accurate "Hurricane Bitch is blowing everyone in town"

[–]qrd 2 points3 points ago

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Had a Katrina, she was devastating.

[–]wakeentry[S] 2 points3 points ago

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My ex was named Emily, and I've heard of a hurricane named Emily.

[–]inspirestrikesback 2 points3 points ago

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but seriously...i wish i could upvote this like a hundred times

[–]thisishow 6 points7 points ago

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[–][deleted] 20 points21 points ago

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Just once...I want moist and stable....just once....

[–]mawoooh 6 points7 points ago

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Is it wrong that i thought the point of the picture was the penis in green

[–]thisishow 2 points3 points ago

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no.

[–]ell0bo 1 point2 points ago

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Had that for 3 years, had wet and unstable for 1... looking for a little more calm.

[–]king_pickle 1 point2 points ago

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chortle

[–]Lillipout 1 point2 points ago

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I'll take moist & unstable over frigid all day long.

[–]zushiba 1 point2 points ago

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Dry and unstable... cry for me.

[–]marky6045 1 point2 points ago

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How vastly appropriate.

[–]unemployedlurker 1 point2 points ago

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the weather is unstable here too.

[–]julia-sets 1 point2 points ago

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I know a local weatherman. We've made a drinking game out of how often he says "moist" in his live forecasts. One day we were having a party on a particularly humid summer night and gathered around to watch him. He must've said "moist" or "juicy" at least ten times in two minutes. Afterwards we all got a text from him:

Drink up.

Tl;dr: weathermen are trolling you.

[–]MoistNugget 1 point2 points ago

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Oh Look. I can't think of a joke. I just like the word Moist.

[–]daveyp2tm[!] 1 point2 points ago

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Just split up with my girlfriend a week ago and this definitely applies.

[–]radicallymoderate 1 point2 points ago

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Laughing out loud.

[–]Mange-Tout 1 point2 points ago

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"I used to think I was unstable... but then I met every girl I ever dated."

  • Mike Birbiglia

[–]nexizen 1 point2 points ago

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Things you can say about your weather system but not your girlfriend.

[–]GueroCabron 1 point2 points ago

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Wait, I don't get it.

[–]bubblegoose 1 point2 points ago

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I was waiting for the "How I Met Your Mother" reference...moist, moist, moist.

[–]Amon_The_Rat 1 point2 points ago

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Rofl

[–]big_dirt 1 point2 points ago

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HIYOOOOOO!

[–]Mikey-2-Guns 1 point2 points ago

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You made my night...

[–]Rzr26 1 point2 points ago

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Oh look a repost that uses the exact same caption.

[–]intheskywithdiamonds 1 point2 points ago

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The weather outside is weather

[–]Noblerevenge 0 points1 point ago

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Watch out for torrential downpours, with mild tremors throughout the day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Moist...I like moist things

[–]ironcoffin 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like somebody isn't over their ex yet.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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The correct terminology is "Petripussychor"

[–]dakaroo1127 0 points1 point ago

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fucking lost it

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Bitter much?

[–]Pravusmentis 0 points1 point ago

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Almost the same headline as last time too

[–]ScratchBomb 0 points1 point ago

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[–]CrossCheckPanda 0 points1 point ago

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In a recent poll, basically all women are creeped out to some degree by the word "moist," while men are not. Most women would rather be told they are dry.

I have no numbers but I swear I've had this conversation multiple times.

[–]Sven2774 0 points1 point ago

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Also a pretty apt description of Florida in general.

[–]ThunderDick42 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like the weather here is a little gross and hateful. Perfect for tanning.

[–]twitch1982 0 points1 point ago

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Your right, the weather does seem unstable. And I am keeping your ex quite moist.

[–]k6kid 0 points1 point ago

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I don't often literally laugh out loud.... But this was hilarious !!

[–]mmforeal 0 points1 point ago

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women suck

[–]Austin_Tasseltine 0 points1 point ago

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Mine was wet and windy

[–]GamerBum 0 points1 point ago

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[–]maintain_low_tones 0 points1 point ago

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I read this in Ron Swanson's voice. Perfect.

[–]UnicornPumaShark 0 points1 point ago

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Yanno the old cliched joke. Yanno, that one. Why are hurricanes named after women? They come in wild and wet and when they leave, they take yer house and car.

[–]Septem 0 points1 point ago

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This can be applied to my girlfriend aswell. Especially the batshit crazy part.

[–]enlightenyew -1 points0 points ago

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Thanks

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Taking the break up well, LIKE A BOSS!

[–]Poolstiksamurai -1 points0 points ago

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Oh look. This joke, again.

[–]PC-Load-Letter___ -1 points0 points ago

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why women are like a cyclone: moist, unstable and when they are done you likely have lost the house

[–]timeformetofly -1 points0 points ago

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He sounds nasty.

[–]itsmoist -1 points0 points ago

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relevant

[–]oldninercowboy -1 points0 points ago

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Fucking bitches. Can't live with them; can't kill them.

[–]FlashSpoilers -2 points-1 points ago

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Dean Winchester was brought back by the angels because they want him to be the Archangel's vessel so that they can fight Satan during the apocalypse.

Sam will of course be Satan's vessel.

[–]SeriousFaceUK -2 points-1 points ago

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lolololololololololololol

[–]ironny -2 points-1 points ago

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How would you know your ex is moist? (I'll wait for the link below)

[–]sixstringer420 -4 points-3 points ago

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Which one is which? BaZING!

[–]trentlott 3 points4 points ago

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The joke is that both are both.