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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–]diskeywick 336 points337 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Runfromme 46 points47 points ago*

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Why was your comment so fucking hard to find.....

Edit: Well obviously not anymore.

[–]ragingsage 1 point2 points ago

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Holy Fuck. I made that Top comment that is rated at 26 thumbs from the creation of this comment.

I'm actually Anonymous0057. I cannot believe some comment I made 2 years ago would appear on reddit.

http://www.youtube.com/user/Anonymous0057

Did you just telepathically send that message directly to me? ಠ_ಠ

[–]mr_somebody 1 point2 points ago

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It took me quite a while to figure out what the heck you were talking about... Pretty cool!

[–]emmapkmn 533 points534 points ago

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Yeah, someone got fired.

[–]GregOttawa 282 points283 points ago

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Or hired.

[–]Grammer_NotZ 172 points173 points ago

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Paid in donuts, no doubt

[–]Lambeaux 153 points154 points ago

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And by donuts you mean blowjobs.

[–]pixelife 72 points73 points ago

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...or hugs. I like hugs.

[–]n52te 131 points132 points ago

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Mouth hugs.

[–]ChaChaBolek 53 points54 points ago

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Penis hugs.

[–]StJimmyofNarnialand 51 points52 points ago

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Penis mouth hugs.

[–][deleted] 77 points78 points ago

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redditors wife. I said I wanted a hug. He told me to hug his dick with my mouth

[–]RageAllDay 73 points74 points ago

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[–]baalsitch 22 points23 points ago

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Smiling like a doughnut.

[–]coastermonger 5 points6 points ago

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A tasty wheat donut that is

[–]Flyntard 42 points43 points ago

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I was thinking more along the lines of Trident Layers...

[–]kragmoor 66 points67 points ago

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noone ever pays me in gum

[–]tiezep 38 points39 points ago

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Count yourself lucky then.

Getting paid in gum sucks, as it turns out you can't pay a mortgage with gum.

[–]haloskulls117 44 points45 points ago

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im homeless now because of fucking gum

[–]Block_After_Block 38 points39 points ago

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Gum fucking is strictly prohibited.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Well you should not have fucked gum then

[–]PARSLEYsage 6 points7 points ago

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...yet.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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noone is a bastard, I'll pay you in gum.

[–]Terrynitup 1 point2 points ago

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Nobody ever pays me in blowjobs!!!

[–]the_fag_eviscerator 7 points8 points ago

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That Trident Layers babysitter is a hot fucking bitch. I'll pay her in cum.

[–]TheCrudMan 1 point2 points ago

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No one ever pays me in dick.

[–]Dunkenstein 4 points5 points ago

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Throat hugs?

[–]Shyssiryxius 1 point2 points ago

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mouth hugs :)

[–]Fearmarbh 1 point2 points ago

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Mouth hugs?

[–]tryhugsnotdrugs 1 point2 points ago

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I also like hugs.

[–]ElkBit 23 points24 points ago

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Nobody ever pays me in doughnuts. :(

[–]strong_grey_hero 1 point2 points ago

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Or possibly got an internship.

[–]marishtar 9 points10 points ago

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Or quit. "Hit the slide," as it were.

[–]Dapwell 787 points788 points ago

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I still can't find the black guy...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]thebart 175 points176 points ago

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I always look for penises, and I am not gay. The internet has ruined me.

[–]bruiserdotcom 107 points108 points ago

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...has brought out the best in you

[–]ed4649 55 points56 points ago

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The best the best the best the best of you.

[–]BlackZeppelin 30 points31 points ago

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"our manager said, hey Dave whatever happened to that song where you scream best of you a million fucking times"-Dave Grohl explaining to us at a concert how Best of You got recorded.

[–]Andrew_Jay 8 points9 points ago

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We don't normally play this song in acoustic sets, since it's pretty much just me screaming at you . . . but then I figured 'hey, you're all Bob Dylan fans'

  • Dave Grohl introducing the song at a show in Toronto a few years back, while opening for Dylan

[–]Dan_O_ 1 point2 points ago

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Thanks! I always thought he said, "someone is stuck in the vest the vest the vest the vestibule."

[–]LukeBusy 32 points33 points ago

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and I am not gay.

yet

[–]Siaonara 123 points124 points ago

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If you can't find the black guy, you ARE the black guy.

[–]Extremely_Gullible 172 points173 points ago

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I am?!?

[–]koshercowboy 41 points42 points ago

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don't tell me this is your whole shtick

[–]I_AM_A_BICYCLE 16 points17 points ago

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[–]fairwindtree 6 points7 points ago

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I totally read that video as "Vince is black!"

[–]MilesPennington9 3 points4 points ago

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I... never even... knew..

[–]badphish94 1 point2 points ago

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That looks AWESOME!

[–]flobbaddobbadob 26 points27 points ago

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Oh dude you still owe me £50. Pm me and I'll link you up my PayPal...

[–]lies_about_ethnicity 32 points33 points ago

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I'm a black guy.

[–]woned 6 points7 points ago

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Redditor for 3 days

[–]xLoomy 1 point2 points ago

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Everyone has to start somewhere

[–]DocGerbil256 10 points11 points ago

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What a twist!

[–]SilverHammerMan 17 points18 points ago

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"I was born a poor black child..."

[–]SteelCity905 11 points12 points ago

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"... but I became a rich white woman" - Michael Jackson 1995

[–]nfs3freak 2 points3 points ago

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Jerk.

[–]TheExtremistModerate 1 point2 points ago

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Upvoted for Steve Martin.

[–]DeepRoast 1 point2 points ago

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True written wisdom :)

[–]DrPeacemaker 19 points20 points ago*

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He's probably selling those donuts on the streets. And when you can't pay up front...

[–]jakfischer 27 points28 points ago

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...He takes an IOU.

[–]fartsoup 39 points40 points ago

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That's as good as money, sir. Those are I.O.U.'s. Go ahead and add it up, every cent's accounted for. Look, see this? That's a car. 275 thou. Might wanna hang onto that one.

[–]Davis2aw 5 points6 points ago

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You have an extra pair of gloves...?

[–]zxzCLOCKWORKzxz 3 points4 points ago

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Chh yea....Were in the Rockies. Rolls eyes and hunches shoulders

[–]DiggingNoMore 2 points3 points ago

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Harry, your hands are freezing!

[–]mcparlies 26 points27 points ago

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I donut know what's wrong with the pic..

[–]jimitonic 44 points45 points ago

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It's right there, you probably just glazed over it.

[–]panaflax 27 points28 points ago

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someone needs to eclairify what the joke is

[–]Jackpot777 19 points20 points ago

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Don't dessert your search now!

[–]jimitonic 9 points10 points ago

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Not for muffin, but these comments are somewhat tasteless.

[–]Jackpot777 9 points10 points ago

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I'm not sure I can cake any more of these puns.

[–]xdividebyzerox 2 points3 points ago

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PASTRIES

[–]keyslip 6 points7 points ago

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I only laughed at this because I'm totally baked

[–]fiat_lux_ 2 points3 points ago

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I'm a bit fried myself.

[–]cho4d 4 points5 points ago

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This canoli mean one thing.

[–]BigStrongMan28 6 points7 points ago

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for one, donuts made of HOLE wheat

[–]zach_fell 1 point2 points ago

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Are you in Das Racist?

[–]relevant_rule34 336 points337 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]CrasyMike 277 points278 points ago

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Fun fact, fucking hovertext.

[–]Eurynom0s 76 points77 points ago

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Oh god dammit, this is worse than when I found out XKCD has hovertext.

[–]TheAverageRedditUser 50 points51 points ago

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Wait, WHAT?

[–]Sokend 55 points56 points ago

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Surely the average reddit user would know that?

Oh well, time for you to re-read them all, there's only a thousand.

[–]onlyhalfminotaur 13 points14 points ago

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It's not as bad as just now finding the red bonus comic button on SMBC. He's almost to 2500.

[–]tinfins 7 points8 points ago

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Oh goddammit.

[–]Schlack 1 point2 points ago

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That was a fun few hours! like watching a director's cut of your favourite film.

[–]Calebm12 1 point2 points ago

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....what? Oh god no.

[–]WallyWalrus 1 point2 points ago

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There's no bonus on Questionable Content, is there?! QC, SMBC, and xkcd are the only webcomics I read.

[–]Jackpot777 1 point2 points ago

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If there are a thousand, where's comic #404?

EDIT: oh yeah, they're on #1001 now. My apologies.

[–]Sokend 2 points3 points ago*

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Randall Munroe's explanation.

edit to your edit: /1000 is still #1000 if you agree with him (which I do :).

[–]RichardoC 1 point2 points ago

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Been there, done that.

[–]Torch_Salesman 56 points57 points ago

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How have I never noticed that before.

[–]Bloody_Conspiracies 1 point2 points ago

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Hoverzoom makes it impossible for me to see the hovertext without opening the source.

[–]msgbonehead 12 points13 points ago

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For those of us on mobile, what does the hovertext say?

[–]bejayel 7 points8 points ago

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in 5 minutes it won't just be the donut that's glazed

[–]NBAallstar 1 point2 points ago*

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"msgbonehead blows goats, I have proof."

edit: no Wayne's World fans? Tough crowd, it says "in 5 minutes it won't just be that donut that's glazed".

[–]249ba36000029bbe9749 1 point2 points ago

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Hovertext: "drag to resize" That's awesome!

[–]supaphly42 36 points37 points ago

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Reminds me of a good joke...

Who's the most popular guy at the nudist resort? The one that can carry a dozen donuts and two cups of coffee.

Who's the most popular girl there? The one that can get the last donut...

[–]seoulsun 80 points81 points ago

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Why did I click on that expecting something different?

[–]MetalKev 234 points235 points ago

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[–]CINAPTNOD 7 points8 points ago

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"You didn't eat that, did you?" is a very fitting line in this instance.

[–]basically 2 points3 points ago

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I love the "DO NOT EAT." Mitch Hurwitz and friends, you damn geniuses.

[–]Leigho7 9 points10 points ago

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This reminds me of that scene on friends where there's a bagel on the floor and Monica says she and Chandler were playing a game with it...

[–]Fenris_uy 4 points5 points ago

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Unless you have amazing memory for Friends trivia, you watch Warner Latin America.

Saw that episode last afternoon.

[–]Leigho7 2 points3 points ago

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Haha, nope. I saw it like last week on TBS. Or maybe WGN. But it was most definitely last week.

[–]reidhershl 1 point2 points ago

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I demand a source. For science.

[–]LovesMustard 1 point2 points ago

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TIL I like Avena Lee.

[–]AetherAeternus 66 points67 points ago

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2005, is that you? George Bush doesn't care about black people! Tom Cruise jumped on a couch on Oprah!

Oh, 2005, you so crazy.

[–]FreonTrip 5 points6 points ago

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Let's have some fun - do 1995.

[–]AetherAeternus 13 points14 points ago

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Oh boy. Uhh... Selena died! The Oklahoma City bombing! OJ not guilty! The last Calvin and Hobbes was published!

Hey, that was a TERRIBLE year! That wasn't fun at all!

Bonus: Windows 95 was released!

[–]Brocktoon_in_a_jar 1 point2 points ago

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Die Hard With a Vengeance cemeted Samuel L. Jackson's newfound status as a rising star! Steve Forbes boldly runs for the Republican primary on a "flat tax" platform! Bosnia!

[–]Genuinely_Ironic 4 points5 points ago

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While turret were a lot of pop culture trends in 2005, it'd be hard to come up with 1,995 of them.

[–]Kwinten 134 points135 points ago

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This is figuratively older than the internet.

[–]christianjb 46 points47 points ago

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It's literally figuratively older than the internet.

[–]cheddarben 13 points14 points ago

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This is olderatively figured from the internet.

[–]Naffler 1 point2 points ago

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Last time I saw this screenshot, I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur

[–]LongWangOfPyongyang 15 points16 points ago

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The anchor's name is Shannon Myers, of Georgia's WAGT 26 (branded at the time as NBC Augusta). This story aired in their weeknight evening newscast in mid-February 2007. The buzz in the market at first was that someone just pulled the graphic from Google Images without looking too closely at it. Soon after, however, the story began to circulate that it was a last-ditch effort to open a dialogue between the desperately undervalued and underpaid production staff, and management at the station. Reportedly no one was fired, and the outcome (in the words of Reddit) went better than expected.

[–]knumbknuts 36 points37 points ago

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Replete with "I just did!" look on anchor's face.

[–][deleted] 52 points53 points ago

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You left out Digg.com 2005

[–]The_perfect_GIF 9 points10 points ago

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[–]revolvingdoor 4 points5 points ago

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looks 3d

[–]Kistoff 1 point2 points ago

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Should change this website to repostit.com

[–]supaphly42 2 points3 points ago

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Meh, I've never seen it.

[–]NuclearWookie 7 points8 points ago

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I saw it years ago the first time it was posted.

[–]damendred 2 points3 points ago

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You haven't seen it the 65 times it's been posted since then? Lucky you.

[–]todds_van 4 points5 points ago

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HOORRAY REPOST THIS SHIT

[–]Neilio_Knarf 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]kaveman6143 15 points16 points ago

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Thanks to RES I have had dummystupid tagged as "Epic Reposter" to easily downvote anything he posts.

[–]elpaw 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]TehFence 1 point2 points ago

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I save these people as rp;dv. Repost, downvote.

[–]damunzy 9 points10 points ago

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When I see it...I'll have flash backs to 2002? ;)

ಠ_ಠ

[–]CChevdogg 4 points5 points ago

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I looked long and hard to find that one.

[–]Abraham_Shovelhands 7 points8 points ago

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Au gusta.

[–]Red_Angry_Bird 5 points6 points ago

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That's good stuff right there... I am of course talking about the donuts

[–]BranchDavidian 2 points3 points ago

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i almost said something about cream filled, but i wanna be able to eat cream filled doughnuts again.

[–]olafthebent 2 points3 points ago

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Dunkin Dicks

[–]NoDiggityNoDoubt 7 points8 points ago

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Dickin' Doughnuts

[–]colordrops 1 point2 points ago

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When you see it... you'll suck dix.

[–]Serrated_Banana 1 point2 points ago

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It still blows my mind that people would drive out of their way and wait in lines everyday for those. They're goddamned donuts.

[–]DUCKVILLELOL 1 point2 points ago

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I like how the correct spelling is "doughnut" and even the Krispy Kreme logo spells it that way, yet everyone is spelling it "donut". Is that an American thing?

[–]seafood10 1 point2 points ago

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I remember this from a while ago.....still a great classic pic! I had it on a laptop that crashed so thanks for posting it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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r/funny: The rerun of the Internet.™

[–]Bloodhound01 1 point2 points ago

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I was at a dunkin Donuts getting... donuts one day and this dumb girl in front of me ask...

"Do you have krispy kream donuts here?"

facepalm

[–]Prestige0 1 point2 points ago

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That's actually a great catchphrase, motto, tagline, etc...

[–]cfb12 1 point2 points ago

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I had a teacher in HS who plastered this picture all over school to advertise this Doghnut sale.

[–]baertur 1 point2 points ago

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Meanwhile in Norway.

[–]geeca 1 point2 points ago

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I was thinking of this. Until I saw the suck dick part.

[–]Cat_Confusion 1 point2 points ago

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That's what happens when you use free labour. Pay your interns beaches!

[–]TorchicBlaziken 1 point2 points ago

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...Sheltered College Freshman? Is that you?

[–]PersonEveryman 1 point2 points ago

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When you see it, you'll suck dick.

[–]orus 1 point2 points ago

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Au-Gusta ...

[–]dacookeymonsta 1 point2 points ago

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And that's where the cream comes from.

[–]turnleftdale 4 points5 points ago

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You sure do like reposting things.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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I don't think i'd suck a dick for a wheat donut, let alone any kind of donut for that matter. For this on the other hand, I would suck a dick.

[–]cuda1337 11 points12 points ago

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jesus christ man... no you wouldn't. reconsider what you just said!

[–]Slammin_sangwhich 18 points19 points ago

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Seriously dude. That shit costs like a dollar. I'll give you the money, just go buy one at the store!

[–]oooh_hi_mark 11 points12 points ago

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I'll suck your dick for that dollar?

[–]powerbrows 7 points8 points ago

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I'll suck your dick if you give him the dollar back. We're in a recession, for fucks sake!

[–]kenatogo 10 points11 points ago

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Quite the little economy we've started here, folks!

[–]koshercowboy 1 point2 points ago

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oooh, hi mark

[–]croatianpride 1 point2 points ago

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So do donuts but krispy kremes can be damn fucking hard to find. I lived in the San Francisco bay area during middle/high school and my friends and I had to make epic treks from the north bay to Daly City (about an hour drive depending on how bad traffic in SF can be) to get our fix. Now it's one of the things I look forward to most about going home for breaks during college because here in Michigan I'm not even sure people know what a krispy kreme is...

[–]mrmailbox 3 points4 points ago

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I'm not sure I want to taste a donut that is that delicious.

[–]CaptinPlanted 2 points3 points ago

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Yep. I know what im bringing to the bar this weekend.

[–]HeroofDarkness 3 points4 points ago

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So ooooooooolllllllllllllddddddddddddddd............................

[–]paulrules 0 points1 point ago

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When you see it, you'll remember that it's a repost.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]fsmlogic 66 points67 points ago

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I belive that this is closer to Chris Rock: "Krispy Kreme Donuts are so good, if I told you it had crack in it, you would be like, "I knew it was something in there. These donuts are too good. Got me going there at 4 o'clock in the morning going, "Come on, man, open up. Let me have at least one donut. I'll do anything. I'll suck your dick!" That should be the new slogan. Krispy Kreme: So good, you'll suck a dick. "

[–]wannashare 6 points7 points ago

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I read that in Chris Rock's voice.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]whitmell 8 points9 points ago

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[–]themomadance 1 point2 points ago

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"BOO THIS MAN!!!!"

[–]Downhilldude 2 points3 points ago

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Well we all know where the filling comes from now.

[–]Ieviathan 1 point2 points ago

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Gg America

[–]kremmy 5 points6 points ago

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The guy from the home of poutine, tim horton's and ketchup flavored potato chips is making fun of us for wheat donuts?

[–]Torch_Salesman 3 points4 points ago

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I think he's making fun of you for sucking dick for them. Why the hell did you think the ingredients in the doughnuts was the important part of that image?

[–]kremmy 5 points6 points ago

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Have you ever had a freshly baked Krispy Kreme donut? Of course I'd suck dick for them. So would you. You can deny it all you want, but we both know that 5 years from now you'll be in a dark alley on your knees doing what it takes for some of that sweet sweet Krispy Kreme.

Plus, you know, the chain exists in Canada so there's no reason to assume only Americans would suck dick for it.

[–]EltaninAntenna 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know about sucking dick, but the first time I had a Krispy Kreme donut (at the Excalibur in Las Vegas), it literally figuratively knocked me on my arse. I had KK donuts for breakfast and dinner every day that week. Damn.

[–]Torch_Salesman 1 point2 points ago

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..... alright, point conceded.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Should I be worried that it took me exactly 0.5 seconds to see it?

[–]SpraynardJKruger 1 point2 points ago

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...you'll remember laughing when you first saw it months ago.

[–]seppuku_related 0 points1 point ago

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If you block the top half of her face with your hand she looks disgusted, but if you block the bottom half she looks happy. WITCH!!!

[–]tviz33 0 points1 point ago

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Well, that took two seconds

[–]gentlemandinosaur 0 points1 point ago

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This is as old as the half-life of the internet.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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"Krispy Kreme? Krispy Kreme is not a drug. You ever suck dick for Krispy Kreme?"

"yes"

[–]jodyface 0 points1 point ago

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I wish I was paid in doughnuts... :( (said like the sad guy in the Trident Layers commercial)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I never thought they were THAT good..

[–]Anthony0712 0 points1 point ago

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I wish we had a subreddit for when you see it posts. I love these

[–]sitonfacetroll 0 points1 point ago

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Subliminal advertising.

[–]spotj 0 points1 point ago

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Au-gusta.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Gives a whole new meaning to "Krispy Kreme".

[–]raymondmonaco 0 points1 point ago

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Uhmm, Krispy kream or winkey kream?

[–]skitso 0 points1 point ago

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what was that even supposed to say? wtf? hahaha

[–]Que_dije 0 points1 point ago

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that actually sounds good right about now!......... doughnuts on the other hand.......

[–]ajsmoothcrow 0 points1 point ago

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About the fifth time I've seen this on reddit in the last 3 years.

[–]shorty6049 0 points1 point ago

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I saw this a few years ago, and i keep trying to throw the phrase into everyday conversation, but nobody really seems to "get it"...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I dont think ill ever have anthing that good....but my girlfriend is eatting a dozen doughnuts tonight!

[–]vertevero 0 points1 point ago

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Wheat donut? Isn't that just a bagel?

[–]thechump121 0 points1 point ago

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I'm going to call photoshopped on this one

[–]Mybrainmelts 0 points1 point ago

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That's not glaze, that's semen