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top 200 commentsshow all 228

[–]CrazyTriangle 155 points156 points ago

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"I feel like that may not be a real quote"

-Ron Weasley

[–]ZiggyBoop 12 points13 points ago

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I'm slightly attracted to him now, if it is.

[–]damn_it_so_much 16 points17 points ago

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[–]Talvanen 1 point2 points ago

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My ex-girlfriend was like obsessed with this dude, and I always thought he was kinda ugly. Looks halfway decent in this photo though.

[–]damn_it_so_much 0 points1 point ago

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You must not like gingers... people tend to either love them or hate them with very little in between.

[–]Talvanen 0 points1 point ago

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No, I love gingers. I just never thought that this guy (forgot his real name) was really a looker. He does bulk up some toward the end of the movies. I'm not especially into guys but I can tell the difference between a pretty one and an average one. Must just be personal taste in this case.

[–]damn_it_so_much 0 points1 point ago

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Hehe, attractiveness is so relative and arbitrary isn't it. :P

[–]Talvanen 0 points1 point ago

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That it is.

[–]wildhamsterscelica 3 points4 points ago

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[–]damn_it_so_much 4 points5 points ago

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Yeah but that guy actually looks good with scruff... for some reason, though, it never ever looks good on Rupert Grint.

[–]keironwaites 1 point2 points ago

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This is my site and traffic went up by 2110% yesterday, thanks reddit :)

[–]ANDpandy 1 point2 points ago

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the paleness. IT BURNS

[–]ZiggyBoop 0 points1 point ago

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I'm into facial hair.

[–]damn_it_so_much 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, I am too... but his facial hair?

[–]Mican -1 points0 points ago

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that photo's too touched up..just do a google image search on him -- he's shaved yet fugly.

[–]FeierInMeinHose 3 points4 points ago

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No, he is somewhat handsome and you need to lower your standards you stuck up asshole.

[–]king_of_the_universe 2 points3 points ago

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"I hope so, because 'fuck that, I'm Harry Potter' doesn't really seem to have leverage. Him repeatedly being the perfect example for the Deus Ex Machina plot device and all."

-Archduchess Charlotte of Austria

[–]Mardoxx 0 points1 point ago

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pretty sure he said something similar on Extras...

[–]DrinksBathWater 105 points106 points ago

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[–]arbitraryentry 27 points28 points ago

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If Tom Cruise has committed one lesson to perpetuity, it's that self-confidence overshadows shortness.

That said, you will slowly go insane and probably end up hunting abducted cripples for sport on Scientology cruise ships... but gosh, there's room for a few really good years on the front end.

[–]bottom_dweller 18 points19 points ago

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I feel that the lesson of self-confidence overcoming shortness is better personified by Danny DeVito.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Devito is fat, bald, short, and from my experience unattractive to most people. But the guy is fucking funny, and I agree with you

[–]Wilburre 3 points4 points ago

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"Fucking funny" is not compatible with "unattractive to most people". Unless you're talking entirely aesthetically.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Whenever I discuss It's always sunny, I usually hear some shallow nasty person say something about how ugly he is. I don't care about what he looks like at all, but some assholes do. He is also a very funny guy, and I respect him.

[–]Magnon 2 points3 points ago

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Tom Cruise is a total asshole on set, he has a napoleon complex to the max.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I don't know, man. I've always sympathized with him because of that video where some douche sprays him in the face with a water bottle as a joke. The way he handled it was top notch.

[–]Magnon 2 points3 points ago

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I just watched that video, and to be honest if he had punched the guy or raged at him, everyone would be pissed at him, plus the guy would have a ton of cameras to back up a lawsuit against tom. Instead he made the water spraying guy the asshole.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I wouldn't blame him if he punched him. Like he said, he was nice enough to answer the guys questions and he goes and does something like that.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Sauce? Too lazy to google...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Wind789 0 points1 point ago

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Damn you can see the guy almost looks like he's about to cry when his face turns to the camera. I guess he really put him in his place.

[–]dirtydave71 0 points1 point ago

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so http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99lSu0lkN-I plus &t=0m20s

equals http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99lSu0lkN-I&t=0m20s .... and boom, your 20 seconds into the video when you click

I gotta tell you though it was really hard resisting the urge to make that link a rick roll.

[–]funran 0 points1 point ago

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I think cruise acts pretty calm and mature considering that the guy was being a dick to him. I'd probably have walked away and been like "fucking asshole".

[–]FantasyFacade 12 points13 points ago

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Find short girls :)

[–][deleted] 46 points47 points ago

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But they're with all the tall guys!

[–]Chemicalmachine 8 points9 points ago

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It's a real catch-22

[–]yousername 24 points25 points ago

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Or a catch-2'2"

[–]Schoritzobandit 7 points8 points ago

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Not going to apologize for my genetic victory

[–]omgimsuchadork 0 points1 point ago

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To someone who's 4'10, a dude who's 5'6 is a fucking giant.

[–]squigglecakes -1 points0 points ago

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As a 5'3" girl marrying a 6'1" guy, I confirm this.

[–]MuffyTheVampireLayer 2 points3 points ago

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I still prefer the term "fun sized".

[–]hoboto 10 points11 points ago

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I don't.

[–]coleus -2 points-1 points ago

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Kim Kardashian @ 5ft 2 inches.

[–]FantasyFacade 1 point2 points ago

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Kim Kardashian @ Herpes.

[–]coleus 0 points1 point ago

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Kim Kardashian @.... what the fuck I got downvoted!!! hahaz!

[–]TheFaithie 17 points18 points ago

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My boyfriend's shorter than me. Don't bother with only short girls -- go after whatever girl you want. If she's taller than you, just asking her out proves you have balls of steel, and that is sexy.

[–]larsmaehlum 4 points5 points ago

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And think about it. If the girl is about a head taller than you, what is at eye height?

[–]bottom_dweller 29 points30 points ago

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Her boyfriend's dick.

[–]danguro 2 points3 points ago

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I'm 5'4" myself. I went to Grumman's Chinese Theater where Daniel's hands and shoe prints are, and could not believe, his feet and hands are smaller than mine

[–]JesusTapdancingChris 1 point2 points ago

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But we can be ten times as charming.

[–]Skitrel 0 points1 point ago

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Since when do tears come out the middle?

[–]dirtydave71 0 points1 point ago

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It depends on which way a persons eyes are aligned, basically the tears come out of the lowest part of the eye. Some eyes point down to the middle of the face, some are level enough that the middle is the lowest spot, and some tilt toward the outside of the face.

[–]Skitrel 1 point2 points ago

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I find the central part is the lowest part in my eyes yet any tears will come out right by the tear duct and run down the side of the nose though. Just find the image a little odd.

Nevermind.

[–]dirtydave71 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, me too, but you never know who your talking to on the Internet.

[–]vertices 0 points1 point ago

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I prefer the term "vertically challenged"

[–]Harold_Grundelson 163 points164 points ago

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Yer a midget, Harry!

[–]phidippides14 42 points43 points ago

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I'M A WOT?

[–]hopy921 27 points28 points ago

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A lizard

[–]thisisnotthought 16 points17 points ago

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CUNNILINGUS MAXIMUS!

[–]TheBestBigAl 8 points9 points ago

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DISAPPOINTUS FORGETTUS!

[–]andrewhuntley 6 points7 points ago

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Har

[–]ClockworkPenguin -2 points-1 points ago

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Ah, Reddit, you're so predictable. Came into this thread fully expecting to see this exact comment - was not disappointed.

[–]Linton58 16 points17 points ago

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I used to be self-conscious about calling out people on reposts. Then I thought to myself, "Fuck that, I'm on Reddit."

[–]StalinsLastStand 10 points11 points ago

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You might as well do it right:

title comnts points age /r/
For all the short guys... 0coms -7pts 3mos funny
I used to be self conscious 307coms 630pts 3mos pics
He does makes a good point 231coms 677pts 5mos funny
You'll never see him the same way again. 61coms 200pts 9mos pics

source: karmadecay

[–]TroubleBruin 11 points12 points ago

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See also: Tom Cruise.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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But he has good looks.

[–]oozerfip 4 points5 points ago

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Can't forget Joe Pesci. He's about 5'4".

[–]TroubleBruin 8 points9 points ago

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Ah, the gravitas of "Fuck that, I'm Joe Pesci."

[–]arbitraryentry 4 points5 points ago

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Might as well throw in Pacino and Tim Roth in the club of Cool Diminutives.

[–]Anomander 7 points8 points ago

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Is this from an interview, and if so, where is it?

[–]queeno_fengland 64 points65 points ago

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i believe it's from the last Harry Potter film.

[–]Geno098 19 points20 points ago

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As someone who has watched the last Harry Potter film I can confirm that this is indeed a quote from said film.

[–]Pop_Off 5 points6 points ago

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I hope you don't speak like you type.

[–]PancakeMonkeypants 1 point2 points ago

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Seconded.

[–]Noblerevenge 34 points35 points ago

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I used to be Harry Potter, but then I said fuck that; I'm self conscious.

[–]fromfocomofo 33 points34 points ago

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Short people are the shit.

[–]edm23 6 points7 points ago

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Wait... how tall is he?

[–]Broomhandle 3 points4 points ago

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5ft 5

[–]Xaevier 3 points4 points ago

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That's really not very short. In NYC area most people are about that height. Gogo short Italians

[–]bleunoir83 1 point2 points ago

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Watch the "Brotherhood of Man":

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ceyoPY0uUms

He looks like a midget there.

[–]Xaevier 2 points3 points ago

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I think that has more to do with the fact that he is skinny as hell. One of the guys in the line is only 2 inches or so taller but looks WAY bigger.

[–]Usakar 5 points6 points ago*

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I think that guy has a bit of a struggle with being associated as Harry Potter by everybody.

Let's hope he doesn't end up like Macaulay Culkin or the Olsen twins.

edit: Maybe his millions of Pounds will help, but a lot of money in your youth usually just screws up your character.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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As a male of 5 foot and 6 inches, who desperately relies on prescriptions glasses, I'm actually quite glad I'm not visually associated with the Harry Potter franchise. However, I do feel a heightened necessity for intellectualism. If I must be the butt of banal height jokes, at least I can publicly make a fool of fools.

[–]andrewsmith1986 45 points46 points ago

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The shorter you are, the richer you need to be.

I love being 6'4"

[–]kirkoswald 14 points15 points ago

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EVERYONE ON REDDIT IS 6"4 ! WTF

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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Everyone who wants to share their height is 6'4".

[–]not_a_relevant_name 0 points1 point ago

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I'm 6'3"

Do I really exist then?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Everyone who wants to share their height thinks it's going to impress someone, and as such those with unextraordinary heights do not share.

Satisfactory?

[–]not_a_relevant_name 0 points1 point ago

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I was mostly kidding, and I just visited /r/tall and I now feel incredibly unextraordinary if that makes you feel better.

[–]pimpernel666 58 points59 points ago

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so . . . you're broke?

[–]Jonmeij 39 points40 points ago

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I do believe that was the joke, yes.

[–]sp4ce 3 points4 points ago

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...or he could be rich, yet love the fact that he does not need to be.

[–]Ogow 12 points13 points ago

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...or he's broke.

[–]Thorgusta 0 points1 point ago

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For all the short people like me, let's just say he's broke as fuck.

[–]phunphun -1 points0 points ago

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It's andrewsmith1986. He's broke as fuck and rich in karma.

[–]Kerfuffly 0 points1 point ago

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No, no, no. He earns millions from his mod duties... millions!!

[–]Bob_Munden 0 points1 point ago

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Impossible, you can't be broke and 6'4" or you would literally be naked. Finding clothes for people of this size is hard as it is, but finding them for cheap.. Good luck.

[–]TehSantos 1 point2 points ago

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Got my tall, fat-ass a wardrobe for like $130. So much big and tall stuff goes on clearance.

[–]Wapook 5 points6 points ago*

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Join us over at /r/tall if you haven't already!

Edit: I am not sure why I have been downvoted for plugging a community. If there is a real reason, let me know.

[–]CrasyMike 22 points23 points ago

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It's like a subset of /r/firstworldproblems

[–]Belsher 5 points6 points ago

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Probably because people are picturing that subreddit as a huge circlejerk of tall people...

I went over there for a minute to check it out, and its acctually more about problems that arrise from being so tall and stuff like that.

Upvote for you in the hope that I can balance out some of the negative ones!

[–]Wapook 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That place is beautiful, thank you!

[–]Wapook 1 point2 points ago

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No problem. Enjoy!

[–]andrewsmith1986 1 point2 points ago

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I joined a discussion the other day.

I want my height next to my name...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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you do it yourself

[–]cajual 0 points1 point ago

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76", that's all I ever remember about my height anymore. Every time I take a PT test or go to the doc, they need it in inches anyway, so 76". When I go to amusement parks and see the ride requirements in the 50" range, I just chuckle a little. Then again, I can't fit into any of the fucking rides at Legoland in Florida. :(

[–]MuffyTheVampireLayer 2 points3 points ago

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He just needs a healthy dose of Skele-Gro!

[–]riversofgore 2 points3 points ago

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It's official. Smoking makes you look cool.

[–]bullet2binary 2 points3 points ago

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It sucks to be a tall girl, too. Being 6 ft tall sucks as a chick, but hey, at least I'm thin and leggy.

[–]mknyan 2 points3 points ago

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/r/gonewild photos.

For science.

[–]anotherbozo 2 points3 points ago

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I'm 5'4"... Fuck you!

[–]Elriond 2 points3 points ago

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Come back when you're James-fucking-Bond.

Sincerely, Sean Connery.

[–]forza525 2 points3 points ago

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[–]DrSmoke 8 points9 points ago

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Why do people keep posting this, fuck yous.

[–]EverElusive 2 points3 points ago

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I'm Harry Freaking Potter and I'm the man!

[–]ilrodoowle 4 points5 points ago

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Upvote for Starkid.

[–]EverElusive 0 points1 point ago

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thanks. I knew somebody would get it.

[–]ilrodoowle 0 points1 point ago

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It occurred to me that someone needs to replace Dan in this pic with Darren. Because that would be awesome.

[–]EverElusive 0 points1 point ago

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haha because he's short, too!

[–]ilrodoowle 0 points1 point ago

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Yep! When I met him we were about the same height with me in heels.

[–]yousername 1 point2 points ago

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I was like "fuck yea, cool shit about being short I'm not Harry Potter this doesn't do shit for me, fuck you Harry.

[–]se7yourselffree 2 points3 points ago

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You're a wand, cigarette..

[–]kochipoik 1 point2 points ago

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I also thought "what the fuck is that cigarette doing there", adds nothing to the picture but subtly implies smoking is cool, fuckers

[–]Forestisinthetrees 2 points3 points ago

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Or, y'know. He just was having a cigarette. When did smoking become such a fucking social stigma?

[–]kochipoik 2 points3 points ago

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Since ages ago? Since we found out that they are incredibly harmful to every aspect of your health, but yet certain interests mean that they are still able to be sold in every corner dairy?

"He was just having a cigarette", it's not that simple when photos like that are being used in the media or for promotional material.

[–]btguinn 2 points3 points ago

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Cheaper than cocaine, and more effective. I'll take the tradeoff.

[–]kochipoik 0 points1 point ago

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More effective at what?

[–]btguinn 1 point2 points ago

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Being a stimulant... Why else would I compare it to cocaine? I don't smoke for any local analgesic properties, nor for vasoconstriction...

[–]PresidentJonStewart 2 points3 points ago

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Certain interests such as my interest in purchasing cigarettes?

[–]Forestisinthetrees 2 points3 points ago

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That's a picture someone captioned on the Internet. It's not promoting anything.

Also, there are plenty of things that are bad for every aspect of your health, yet are sold in abundance. Beer, Twinkies, and cheese whiz, for example.

[–]canteloupy[!] 3 points4 points ago

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People don't pretend those are cool...

Haha I can just imagine a sexy pic of Uma Thurman eating cheese whiz.

[–]matt-ice 1 point2 points ago

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People pretend alcohol is cool. You guys who bash smoking are hypocrites, as I am certain you were also the ones that were walking around like king shit of turd hill at 16 letting everyone know how wasted you were during the weekend (Im in a bad mood, you struck a chord)

[–]canteloupy[!] 0 points1 point ago

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Oh yeah I hadn't seen beer in there. Sure beer in excess is bad for you.

But I really think there's a difference between something that's bad from the first inhalation and something that's bad in excess. We can metabolize limited amounts of alcohol and significant amounts of sugar and fat before we get any problem from it, is what I'm saying. There is no such thing as a reasonable use of smoke in your lungs however...

Now the societal impact of fast food and beer sucks, to be sure, and it is pertinent to point out the image they have in society and particularly to young consumers. The "sexy" image just isn't there. The closest thing to a spokesperson for beer I can imagine is Homer Simpson.

[–]matt-ice -1 points0 points ago

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7 cigarettes a day is a safe amount not harming (I dont know where the source is for that fact)... And really, you can't think of ANY person who makes beer (or alcohol in general) look good or "interesting"? (hint hint)

[–]Cellar_Door_ 0 points1 point ago

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Difference, 16 year olds are 16.

[–]matt-ice 0 points1 point ago

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being pretentious doesnt magically happen over night, so age is irrelevant

[–]Taylor_says 4 points5 points ago

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That's why he is my soul mate. Even if I wear heels he will still be taller.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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Oh he smokes.. now I'm sad :(

[–]TheFigment 3 points4 points ago

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Smoking can stunt your growth, apparently.

[–]canteloupy[!] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]TheFigment 0 points1 point ago

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Case solved.

[–]Sprags 1 point2 points ago

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WHoa, wtf? Now I've seen everything. I wouldn't have pinned him as a smoker in a thousand years.

[–]Jazzyjeff333 1 point2 points ago

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That picture is still just as funny the first time I saw it, eight reposts ago...

[–]mojobytes 1 point2 points ago

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Then I thought British accents on children scare me so I won't watch your movies and I think the books are shit so you don't got anything on me Daniel Radcliffe...then I saw "My Boy Jack" and realized you were good and I will shut-up now in hopes people are finding ways to watch that movie instead of focusing on my fear of tiny children with British accents

[–]skookin 2 points3 points ago

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That's... a very specific phobia.

[–]jamesdthomson 1 point2 points ago

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I used be self conscious about being a non-famous nobody, but then I thought, "Fuck that, I'm not short."

[–]ScaniaBera 1 point2 points ago

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"Fuck that! I don't like people playing on my phone."

[–]Mr_Metropolis 1 point2 points ago

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Keep it real.

[–]Ras_H_Tafari 0 points1 point ago

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I liked it better when Sean Connery said "I'm fucking JAMES BOND!"

hm... Harry Potter vs James Bond. Who will win?

[–]Very_kafkaesque 1 point2 points ago

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So that's how he got the part?

[–]MightBeAProblem 0 points1 point ago

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Oh my gosh, that was incredibly endearing...

[–]Dee8394 0 points1 point ago

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I think the same exact thing when I wake up in the morning.

[–]Jishkah 0 points1 point ago

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He looks a bit like Jesse Pinkman in this picture. It's the eyes, I think.

[–]IAmAtomato 0 points1 point ago

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Remember kids, to women, size doesn't matter, it's whether or not you're Harry fuckin' Potter.

[–]RamonaTheCat 0 points1 point ago

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I'm Harry Potter. Harry, Harry Potter...

[–]Stratocaster89 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone could take that view when they're worth £40mil. It aint gonna make him a good actor though.

[–]SUPERKAMIGURU 0 points1 point ago

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Either way, that guy already hates going outside, due to the high volumes of people shouting gibberish at him, and making wand motions. Same thing happened to Frodo. Poor guy...

[–]0_Fucks_Given 0 points1 point ago

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I concur

[–]fuckingcreep 0 points1 point ago

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I've smoked since I was 15. A surprising amount of girls don't give a shit if you're relatively good looking and have a good personality. I mean, everybody has their faults right?

[–]pomegranati 0 points1 point ago

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girls also don't give a shit if you're fucking Harry Potter or rich.

[–]dsade 0 points1 point ago

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Haha, very funny Mr. Frodo.

[–]feltchcock 0 points1 point ago

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hey kids! smoking is cooooool!

[–]SpitefulMoose 0 points1 point ago

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I mean, what do you say against that? "I'm good at math!" "I'm level 60 in Skyrim!" "I touched a boob once!" Nope. Nothing works.

[–]midichlorian_fapper 11 points12 points ago

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Yeah, but it doesn't really work when he's 30 and over.

"I'm Harry Potter." "Ugh... whatever, creepy old man."

[–]SpitefulMoose 2 points3 points ago

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I'm basically picturing Danny Devito right now.

[–]sobe86 0 points1 point ago

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"Did I mention that I got $50m for the last two films alone?"

[–]general_greyshot -1 points0 points ago

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Oh, thats cool, ive never seen this before in my life...ever...

[–]not_really_black -1 points0 points ago

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Dude likes to suck dick, too.

[–]Talvanen 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously? Where'd you hear that?

[–]not_really_black 0 points1 point ago

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That dude is gay as fuck. You've never seen him not in character? Flamin!

[–]Talvanen 0 points1 point ago

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Oh lol. Nope never seen him out of character.

[–]DaniVendetta -1 points0 points ago

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For some reason, seeing him with a cigarette in his mouth just lost him about 5 sexy points in my book. Yuck!

[–]atomictoast -1 points0 points ago

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I used to be self-conscious about not being Harry Potter, but then I thought Fuck it, i'm 6' 2".

[–]LazySumo 0 points1 point ago

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This. Let's hear it from all the 6'2"-ers out there!

[–]mthardison -2 points-1 points ago

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Mr. O'Neill, reposting? Shame, shame, shame.

[–]yourafagyourafag -1 points0 points ago

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I'm Harry Potter

Yeah, that's definitely what I would be self-conscious about!

[–]samyall -1 points0 points ago

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Sometimes I am self conscious that I'm short, fat and ugly. Then I say fuck that! I'm Danny Devito!

[–]Dirtpig -1 points0 points ago

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..."And then I was self conscience about my sexuality."