this post was submitted on
224 points (53% like it)
1,533 up votes 1,309 down votes

funny

subscribe2,501,662 readers

9,205 users here now

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 64 comments

[–]Rab_Legend 46 points47 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was a good repost

[–]nvrknowsbest -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Agreed. One of the best.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]Wiggles420 15 points16 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was looking for a TL;DR, thanks.

[–]SpiceHarvester 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This should be the top comment but alas! It is beaten by one guy stating the obvious and playing on reddit's need to pretend like they can relate to having a relationship.

[–]retrogreq 35 points36 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reposting something you think is funny is one thing.

Blatantly trying to play it off as your own is completely different. http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/nq262/what_did_one_ocean_say_to_the_other/

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What a shellfish thing for someone to do

[–]goodguysteve -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can't believe he thought he'd get away with, we'd all sean it before.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

it is what imgur does

[–]Conlan74 47 points48 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If she was seriously pissed for that, you need a new girl.

Plenty more fish in the sea and all that...

[–]hobbinater2 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Repost for shame

[–]Ooer 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't understand why people do this. I don't mind reposts, as not everyone sees things the first time round, but you then try and claim ownership? I don't understand how you think you can trick everyone on reddit :/

[–]your_nan 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lol I love how your trying to act as if you actually did this. Real lame trying so hard to get "karma".

[–]StraightMacabre 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

About 5 months ago...

[–]Captain_Chronic 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It was like 2 and a half weeks according to the time on the messages.

[–]StraightMacabre 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sorry, Surgery makes it feel like longer ago.

[–]Cornered_rat 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

before reddit i had no idea so many people thought puns were this hilarious

[–]bangbangchoochoo 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Content thief. Burn in Reddit Hell!

[–]Ibce 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Whale, i guess youre not coming back

Dangerous waters..

[–]Lt_Shniz 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I bet he made anemone.

[–]BaristaOwl 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

'I'm just tiding up the plaice' FTFY

[–]globus243 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes, it was "worth it" also the other 5 times.

[–]snouz 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If she-he doesn't like shitty jokes like this, the relationship must be pretty sad

[–]omgzface 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You know what, that was fun, she should have joined in!

[–]ttmegs 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i need a boyfriend who will do this <3

[–]AyChihuahua -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Take your pick at r/punny ! ;)

[–]ttmegs -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

why cant they just come to me...

[–]DontTrustThisMan 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That was really Andy Saltzman-esque..

[–]aRealSomebody 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As someone who didn't receive this text, I still hate you and the guy who originally posted this.

[–]PainfullDarkness 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How the actual flying fuck did this so much upvotes? ಠ_ಠ

[–]klieber 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Forever alone.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

nice relationship there

[–]EagleEyeInTheSky 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That first joke confused me. Before I read the punchline, I was 90% sure it was going to be a reference to Hey Ocean. Damn you prior expectations!

[–]xVictor 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reddit?

More like Reddit ten times.

[–]c_wolves 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I tried a similar conversation with my girlfriend and quite like yours she got mad at me and left. Like you said though, totally worth it.

[–]Mica22 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

THE FISH PUNS. OH GOD THE FISH PUNS.

[–]wotererio 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He deleted his account?

[–]tesserex 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He missed a, "it was on porpise"

[–]themythicalpelican 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Third up from bottom right.

[–]tesserex -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

he said purpose, not porpoise. you so silly.

[–]themythicalpelican 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well, "purpoise" - I guessed he was misspelling 'porpoise' instead of misspelling 'purpose'. Hard to tell.

[–]ThatCharmingCanadian -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So so worth it

[–]onemiki -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this did not go down well until the volcano one, always a winner