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top 200 commentsshow all 446

[–]carrotpoke 422 points423 points ago

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[–]BlondeJesus 139 points140 points ago

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No, that is the other half of reddit.

[–]slipknot6477 40 points41 points ago

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so 0% of reddit is actually the zombies? the outbreak shouldn't be too bad if nobody that is a redditor is among them.

[–]deputy1389 79 points80 points ago

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You forget that reddit is a secret website full of elite hackers, we are very exclusive and we have a small community.

[–]Legendman3 51 points52 points ago

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Yeah we fake all the thread numbers. Its just 5 guys making millions of accounts to fuck with each other.

[–]and1li[!] 35 points36 points ago

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This thread is just one guy having a conversation with himself.

[–]excavator12 44 points45 points ago

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I just blew my mind.

[–]xxBigBobxx 16 points17 points ago

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No im not.

[–]gnovos 2 points3 points ago

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Yes. Yes I am.

[–]KindaOffTopic 0 points1 point ago

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Just kidding, yeah I am. I'm so funny.

[–]Abezilla116 3 points4 points ago

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With 1000's of novelty accounts.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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And the IP addresses.

[–]Dat_Karmavore 9 points10 points ago

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0% of redditors

I only care about the contributing portion which is, actually really small compared to the rest of this sites traffic.

Sorry lurkers, you never helped the Hivemind, the Hivemind shall not spare you.

[–]2parties1cup 2 points3 points ago

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posting in this thread to insure zombie immunity

[–]Zalbu 10 points11 points ago

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I'd say that picture shows one half of Reddit, and the other half would crawl up in a corner in the fetal position and cry.

[–]OrangeWool 7 points8 points ago

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World epidemic problems.

[–][deleted] 57 points58 points ago

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"Why is no one posting on Reddit, anymore?"

[–]marsneedstowels 163 points164 points ago

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"It's shit like this zombies." "Found this gem looting the local thrift store." "My girlfriend made me this gunsaw, nailed it?"

[–]Sqwibes 14 points15 points ago*

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"Good Guy Zombie, Hungry, Doesn't eat your brains" Edit: "Zombie apocalypse? Noooope"

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points ago

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slow clap :(

[–]CheeseMilkEggsButter 11 points12 points ago

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fast clap :)

[–]brothersbutler 5 points6 points ago

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Fast...fap? Nevermind, I'm done.

[–]Kawaii- 9 points10 points ago

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"I don't care if it's a zombie, this cat is adorable."

[–]Halolamer 30 points31 points ago

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"DAE love BRAINS?!?!?"

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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I bet you there'd still be content, the re-post bots are humans.

[–]sicktaker2 4 points5 points ago

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Redditors would be the zombies. Just think, if every Redditor became a zombie it would explain why they were everywhere, and why they almost always have such pale skin.

[–]Bonesawisready 2 points3 points ago

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Damn. Haven't laughed that hard in a while

[–]flynn451[S] 9 points10 points ago

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Funny shit right there, made me laugh and cry at how true this is

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Fluffii 105 points106 points ago

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They'd post on Reddit about seeing zombies, asking what to do.

Or do an AMA, saying they shot a zombie or know how to kill them.

[–]mattmcinnis 32 points33 points ago

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I was just bitten by a zombie AMA.

  • Not really sure how long I've got but I'll try to answer all your questions as soon as possible.
  • Well it was a little girl who I thought was fine, she bit me and then i took care of her so that I wouldnt be eaten.
  • I thought about offing myself to save others but I didn't know what I should do, I just browsed /r/atheism instead to make myself feel better about doing it.. if i do.
  • Well I figured I might as well get karma.
  • okay well yea and to visit /r/gonewild.. i just stripped down to nothing... naked zombies are the funniest.. you never really see a naked zombie.
  • i think this is starting to kick in im actually laughing at everything on /r/trees
  • well i don't really want brains yet but i could see why zombies might actu....
  • does anyone want to come see what a zombie looks like?....... here's my address... ill tie myself up i promise.......
  • dfbcgjnmjkkkkkkkkgkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk*
  • oops i slipped there gotta edit that last one.. haha... um yea so if anyone wantss to tgcomeftbynt

[–]gerrettheferrett 36 points37 points ago

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They would make an /r/survivorlocations.

[–]DarkReaper94 29 points30 points ago

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I actually want to see a subreddit like this even nowadays. Just to joke around, like, "Oh hey, if the apocalypse ever hits, this would be an awesome place to go survive!"

[–]this_barb 18 points19 points ago

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[–]treebeard189 15 points16 points ago

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NO THIS MUST NOT RETURN OR REDDIT WILL BE SHROUDED IN ANOTHER 10,000 INTERNET YEARS(3 days) OF DARKNESS.

[–]cornholio215 15 points16 points ago

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haha me too, I clicked it to see if that was a thing

[–]Fluffii 9 points10 points ago

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I guess now we just wait for someone clever to come along and actually make it.

[–]Flash_mob_of_one 11 points12 points ago

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That didn't take long

[–]Matt872000 3 points4 points ago

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Like this?

[–]Hounmlayn 1 point2 points ago

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oh wow, I'm loving this subreddit!

[–]flynn451[S] 138 points139 points ago

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Or post on /R/Atheism saying "IF THERE IS A GOD WHY IS THERE ZOMBIES LOL CHRISTIANS ARE SILLY"

[–]xtirpation 89 points90 points ago

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So brave

[–]Holden-Magroine 60 points61 points ago

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Or just carry on bitching about r/athiesm, not sure which one I hate more.

[–]Kkrol 10 points11 points ago

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You're on stage 3... almost ready.

[–]NegativeSquareRoot 1 point2 points ago

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ready for what?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Anti-antitheism: It's the latest meta!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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'HAHAHA their making tired old jokes about religion'-Guy who spends too much looking at tired old jokes about cats.

[–]JimMarch 2 points3 points ago

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Not all of us. You DO know there's an /r/guns, right? We'd be all "oh yeah, lock and load time!"...

:)

[–]epicGOPfail 4 points5 points ago

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Anticipating Zombie Apocalypse, here's how you kill your neighbors a zombie dog:

  • taunt the dog (use your brains)
  • provoke the dog to jump on you (use your brains)
  • mid-jump, grab the dog by his hunches and spin him around 180 degrees
  • as to reverse his progress
  • i am still working out the details

[–]self_yelp 2 points3 points ago

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I think this guy is gonna rape the dog.

[–]SpelingTroll 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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And it would get 50 million upvotes. Again.

[–]JuzPwn 31 points32 points ago

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Yeah so, the internet trained me. Kill zombies with weapons, you kill spiders with fire. Duhh.

[–]flynn451[S] 22 points23 points ago

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Here is a crowbar, do your job and you will get laid

[–]JuzPwn 16 points17 points ago

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Can I get laid before the job?

[–]flynn451[S] 30 points31 points ago

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No it makes you tired and now's not the time

[–]srry72 7 points8 points ago

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But every good zombie apocalypse happens after someone passes out

Edit: Or wakes up after a normal day

[–]JuzPwn 1 point2 points ago

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I'll kill double the zombies if you let me get laid before, and I'll take a energy drink for a pick me up. It works in Dead Island.

[–]sicktaker2 1 point2 points ago

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...IN THE GROUND!!!!

[–]velocity010 4 points5 points ago

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and then....the spiderzombie!

[–]Beatleboy62 11 points12 points ago

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Flaming crowbar.

Problem solved.

[–]THANE_OF_ANN_ARBOR 29 points30 points ago

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I'm pretty sure redditors would just keep browsing reddit.

[–]flynn451[S] 66 points67 points ago

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And complain about lack of content not about zombies

[–]DiscoDonkey 14 points15 points ago

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Or vice versa

[–]itssheramie 15 points16 points ago

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complain about lack of zombies not about content?

[–]brazilliandanny 8 points9 points ago

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In world war z one of the stories is this kid in Japan who doesn't realize the zombie apocalypse is happening because he's addicted to computer gaming. It's only when he loses power that he realizes.

[–]rasterbee 2 points3 points ago

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He knows it's happening. He ignores his family and doesn't notice them disappearing.

[–]Silentnite85 1 point2 points ago

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The way I read it was he knew about it before everyone else. Him and his script kiddy buddies had already figured it out before it was in the news. He was so busy getting more information to "win" he didn't realize it had already hit japan.

[–]HSAR 12 points13 points ago

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  1. Introduce the zombies to Reddit
  2. PROFIT!

[–]DefinitelyRelephant 12 points13 points ago

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This comment reminded me of a postapocalyptic story I read on the internet a while ago.

I can't remember the title or author, but it was about this netadmin who found himself trapped in an office building as society collapsed.

He'd communicate with other people over the internet, trading information to get a picture of what was going on, but as power plants ran down worldwide each one blinked offline one after the other.

I think it ended with him finally deciding to just go out and face the zombies/viruses/whatever, only the event had run its course by then and he was fine, or something.

Kind of a disappointing ending, I was hoping for the rise of the Technocracy.

[–]ctrl-4lt-d3l 5 points6 points ago

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[–]DefinitelyRelephant 1 point2 points ago

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That's the one!

Thanks for posting the link :)

[–]HSAR 1 point2 points ago

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Shame you can't remember the author/title, sounds interesting.

[–]ctrl-4lt-d3l 3 points4 points ago

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[–]HSAR 1 point2 points ago

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Have an upvote! Thanks.

[–]PontifexPrimus 192 points193 points ago

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Thanks to reddit I know exactly what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse:
"Lawyer up, hit the gym".

[–]Stompedyourhousewith 127 points128 points ago

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be attractive.
don't be unattractive

[–]Jumin 28 points29 points ago

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The unattractive ones die first in zombie flicks.

[–]Finaltidus 33 points34 points ago

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The black ones die first in zombie flicks.

FTFY

[–]Calls_people_asshole 44 points45 points ago

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You asshole.

[–]PostsTVTropes 10 points11 points ago

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[–]Spazit 2 points3 points ago

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WARNING: TIME SINK

[–]Geekniky 4 points5 points ago

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No. The attractive blonde haired girls with big boobs die first. Then the unattractive guys die.

[–]crapnovelist 1 point2 points ago

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doesn't the black guy make out pretty well in the first Romero movie?

[–]sharkiness 6 points7 points ago

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Have you ever watched it all the way through?

[–]DarkReaper94 32 points33 points ago

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Delete the gym, hit the lawyer, facebook up.

[–]PTTGx2 3 points4 points ago

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Book some faces, delete the law, and hit up yer gym.

[–]weasler7 13 points14 points ago

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Cardio

[–]metaBanana 3 points4 points ago

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and double tap

[–]Nictionary 13 points14 points ago

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Random story: we went to see Zombieland awhile after it came out. I'm kinda young so my mom picks me and my buddy up from the movie. I noticed my little sister isn't in the car, and start to ask my mom where she is. My sister then jumps up from the back of the car and scares the crap out of us. Me and my friend look at eachother and simultaneously say "always check the back seat" and laugh. Sorry, lame story over.

[–]icaaryal 8 points9 points ago

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Delete facebok, join a credit union, drop GoDaddy, and suit up.

[–]option_i 2 points3 points ago

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Buckle up!

[–]tontyismynameyeh 5 points6 points ago

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Delete the gym, hit your facebook.

[–]Kombat_Wombat 1 point2 points ago

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I know the first thing I'll do is join a credit union.

[–]thorsbew24 43 points44 points ago

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More zombies = less redditors = more bandwidth = more cats!

[–]Greyletter 17 points18 points ago

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Zombies = cats?

[–]LiquidDetergent 14 points15 points ago

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Meow, meow (Kind of NSFL)

[–]Bolanok 11 points12 points ago

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WARNING: CYRIAK

YOU MAY OR MAY NOT COME OUT UNCHANGED.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

[–]JBHUTT09 1 point2 points ago

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Forgot how disturbing/awesome that video was.

[–]tclipse 1 point2 points ago

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[–]tllnbks 4 points5 points ago

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Zombie cats.

[–]Greyletter 1 point2 points ago

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I would be more scared of zombie cats than zombie people. Cats are smaller, sneakier, and faster than people.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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this is why I hate insects. The little things can get around you and you can't stop them with your slow bigness. You might be stronger, but they have the numbers and the sneakiness...

[–]Glide548 1 point2 points ago

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Really? I always figured the correct formula was: Zombies = No Redditors = Infinite Bandwidth (problem internet?) = Science Cat discovering cure and overthrowing humans

[–]Maxmanta 15 points16 points ago

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I killed a zombie once. Of course he said he wasn't a zombie, but you know you can't trust a zombie. AMA

[–]Gortos 14 points15 points ago

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Nah, I read the zombie survival guide. But I wouldn't make it long anyway, lack of insuline.

[–]P33J 10 points11 points ago

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haha, fellow Insulin dependent Diabetic. I wrote somewhere else, I figure I got 3-4 months at best of life worth living. That makes me a great asset to anyone traveling with me, I'm automatically the hold the line guy, and at 6'3" 290 who works out 4 days a week, I'd give you a pretty good head start, plus, somebody wants to steal our stuff or rape us, fuck you, I'm going to die anyways, I'll take as many of the bad guys with me as possible haha.

[–]thetacticalpanda 5 points6 points ago

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I'm also number one. I know I'm pegged to be the suicide-mission guy.

[–]MinnesotaBlizzard 7 points8 points ago

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It's the best we can do really. I'm less optimistic than P33J, I say I give myself around a month or two. But definitely, hold the line, suicide mission, diversion team, whatever it is-I'm on it.

We'll be hailed as heroes in Sovngarde my diabeedus brothers

[–]leontrotskitty 1 point2 points ago

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I've tagged you as a contact in the event of a zombie apocalypse ever happening.

[–]Tokeli 6 points7 points ago

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His face is like rising bread trying to escape from that helmet.

[–]AndyYankee17 10 points11 points ago

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95% of the redditors that did anything would end up blowing off their hands because they have no knowledge in the use of different caliber ammunition.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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Why is this 5.56 not fitting in this AK????

[–]teachmetotennis 10 points11 points ago

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Good question, since it should fit with room to spare?

[–]krymise 2 points3 points ago

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AK-74?

[–]griffin3141 8 points9 points ago

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Or they think they're automatically a good shot because of all the video games they play.

[–]Erkel85 12 points13 points ago

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You mean people don't just randomly leave ammunition behind staircases?!?

[–]PostalPenguin 8 points9 points ago

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Fire 3 bullets...RELOAD.

[–]Zelleth 11 points12 points ago

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Which is why we go over to /r/guns and get help.

[–]Legaben 5 points6 points ago

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id eat soup in can

[–]gleefulmidget 4 points5 points ago

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I fapped in the can.

[–]ihateredditalotalot 4 points5 points ago

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This image is as old as the internet. What is the origin? I can't find anything about it.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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Airsoft enthusiast and unfortunate genetics, I'd imagine

[–]P33J 3 points4 points ago

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I've always assumed I'd be pretty effective in a Zombie Apocalypse.

I'm a big guy and have gotten in decent shape. I grew up on a farm, I've had to kill animals that were pets.

But most importantly, I'm an insulin dependent diabetic. At best I've probably got 3-6 months of tolerable life left until I run out of insulin that is being kept at a survivable temperature. So I don't have anything to lose, fight hard, try to help as many people as possible, if someone tries to rob me, fuck them, shoot me, you'll do me a favor and who knows, becoming a Zombie may be better than dying of DKA haha.

[–]Uday23 10 points11 points ago

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Or maybe all those years of playing Call of Duty and Battlefield was the government's way of subconsciously training internet users into super-soldiers. I'm ready to kick some zombie ass, can i haz a tank plz

[–]TheCleverestUsername 2 points3 points ago

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Ok grandpa, me playing video games isn't the government training me to fly unarmed airplanes or vehicles

[–]ayotornado 1 point2 points ago

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First time shooting a rifle, I shot pretty damn accurate with no scope and a target 50 meters down range. Only had FPSes to thank for that...

[–]velocity010 7 points8 points ago

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the second the power is down because no one is maintaining the powerplants the reddit army emerges from their holes and unleashes the wrath of the internet!

[–]feuerkugel 2 points3 points ago

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Rule #1: Cardio

[–]Skyrmir 2 points3 points ago

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Sadly a zombie apocalypse is about as likely as someone taking over an airliner with a box cutter after 9/11. Even if the undead did rise, there are enough people that wouldn't hesitate to simply shoot them in the head or decapitate them that it would never become an apocalypse.

[–]Nmb910 3 points4 points ago

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DAE see zombies? TIL not to fuck with the witch

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I had a friend who was a bit on the bigger side, and if there was a zombie apocalypse, I was moving in with him. Awesome shot. Fast side arm draw. Owned an arsenal. Loved beef jerky. Had his own ammo press for all the guns I owned, with enough brass to make projectzomboid cry. Had a good love for the liquor. I called him Timmy Finnegan.

Sadly, he passed on :(

[–]FlyingPasta 2 points3 points ago

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We'd do a good job too. There's been extensive planning on this.

[–]FightingAmish 2 points3 points ago

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I expected more under-bed-hiding.

[–]Dovakhim 2 points3 points ago

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a soldier and a barricade in a single package, the future of any western army

[–]FatHippo 2 points3 points ago

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the other half would get friend zoned by the girl zombies

[–]psykikduk 2 points3 points ago

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Two words

FPS Russia

[–]BaronVonDinosaur 2 points3 points ago

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I just thought of a strange idea for a zombie film. Whenever someone is asleep, the zombies don't recognize them. Accidental drug doses would be rampant. Narcolepsy would be cool. People would struggle to stay awake so they could fall asleep in a dangerous situation.

[–]IMakeIce 2 points3 points ago

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And Reddit becomes host to the official Zombie Kill of the Week...

[–]xcforlife 2 points3 points ago

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100% of redditors reading/upvoting this post are glad they aren't in that half of reddit

[–]tablloyd 1 point2 points ago

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I think the most likely situation would be that about 10% redditors would do that, the other 90% would ask for a sniper rifle and just find some place and shoot from afar

[–]HSAR 8 points9 points ago

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They'd certainly try, and then find out exactly how hard marksmanship is when there's no crosshair.

[–]Ubernuck 14 points15 points ago

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I am fairly sure rifle scopes have crosshairs.

[–]Broduski 2 points3 points ago

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Taking an accurate, well placed shot takes a little more than lining up the crosshairs.

[–]HSAR 0 points1 point ago

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All those "OMG 360noscope" videos come to mind...

[–]Ubernuck 1 point2 points ago

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But no scoping would be even easier! Unlike games you could just put the barrel right on the zombie's head.

[–]Oraln 1 point2 points ago

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And as a bonus all the idiots who post those videos will die from leaping off a tower while twisting in a circle firing like crazy.

[–]IntellectualWanderer 1 point2 points ago

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What does the other 50% do?

[–]flynn451[S] 8 points9 points ago

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Masturbate

[–]HSAR 7 points8 points ago

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We switch every so often so everybody gets a turn.

[–]mebd 1 point2 points ago

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So here's the question: how long before we'd lose access to the internet? How long could power plants operate unmanned? What about ISPs? If there was a group of brave survivors willing to maintain electricity, would we all be talking to people IRL figuring out which ISP is still around? Or would we all just go back to the 80s with dialup and text-based "browsing"?

I'm sure the "internet" couldn't go on forever, but it's not like the zombies see the cable modem and yank out the cord.

[–]Stenchr 1 point2 points ago

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"Get squads Pedobear and Trollface over here STAT, CODE DOWNVOTE! CODE DOWNVOTE"

[–]trendsetter37 1 point2 points ago

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I thoroughly convinced that a zombie apocalypse would just be fun at this point.

[–]cookiewalla 1 point2 points ago

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Older then the internets

[–]inthrees 1 point2 points ago

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/r/askreddit

"There's a zombie clawing through my front door, Reddit, what do?

update: He's eating my arm, really need some advice here."

[–]Langly- 1 point2 points ago

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The other half would be the zombies, always lurking around.

[–]Sigma34561 1 point2 points ago

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The first step in surviving a zombie apocalypse is recognizing that there is a zombie apocalypse.

[–]Tobbeb 1 point2 points ago

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You mean repost stuff, hoping they would be bored to death?

[–]stephenlethbridge 1 point2 points ago

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And everyone that upvoted this thinks they're in the other half.

[–]mattmcinnis 1 point2 points ago

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I know this is a little late.. but the funniest thing about the zombie apocalypse would be seeing the outfits people we're wearing before they turned. I could just imagine a bunch of redditors decked out in some fancy gear. "I'll just wear my master chief suit"

[–]GoZags18 1 point2 points ago

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I would really love to know the context of this picture

[–]HaveaManhattan 3 points4 points ago

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My plan alone: Ski goggles, resperator, chainmail coif, leather motorcycle jacket with plastic plates, leather pants and jeans, machete and hatchet - bite through that, asshole.

My plan, with 50 men - occupy a home depot, build square wood shields, and pointy metal sticks. Teach men about the roman testudo: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Testudo_formation - proceed to make zombie burgers.

[–]stratocastification 14 points15 points ago

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Wouldn't a phalanx work a little better? Or are we assuming the zombies can launch things.

[–]UDNTNOME 7 points8 points ago

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yes

[–]HaveaManhattan 3 points4 points ago

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Basically the same thing, phalanx is 1.0, testudo 2.0. Of course, you want a roof to keep zombies crawling up a pile of themselves to gain overhead access. Now, what the wikipedia article failed to mention is when attacking a formation, the swords from the first line are thrust between the shields, with the second line spearing from head level. Works like a meatgrinder.

[–]DiscoDonkey 6 points7 points ago

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My plan with 50 men is a little different

[–]brilliantNumberOne 1 point2 points ago

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So do you own any of these things?

[–]HaveaManhattan 3 points4 points ago

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The machete and the hatchet, along with the goggles,jacket and jeans. I assume my shotgun will grant me access to the rest. Respirator is in every hardware store. The neck protection is the hard part to acquire, but i suppose a full motorcycle helmet will do. Plus zombie's aren't going to happen.

[–]dadiddler 3 points4 points ago

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If zombies started to come first thing I'd do would be contact and gather a small, strong group of varying skills and bring them together. Leave a defensive fortification with non-combat/scouting focused members in a secure, quiet location. With my truck and a couple friends I'd go to gather supplies. First place would be the local John Deere store. Stock up on rifles, shotguns and ammo. Also while there I'd get a good stock of chainsaw related supplies, as I bet that'd come in handy later. Next, to the local ford dealership. I'd have each person take a vehicle. Baseline vehicles for the fleet would be F350 turbodiesels. Then we'd split. I'd send one to acquire a heavy fuel trailer, and fill it with diesel, as well as a large gasoline tank for in the bed of his truck. Another to acquire an enclosed, rigid transport trailer to set up as mobile fortification. The last, a large open flat bed trailer and some quads. Last stops on the way back to the fort are a Costco and a grocery store. Stock up as well as possible on food and basic supplies. Have some nice stuff for now, but use as much room as possible for long term basic supplies. Huge bags of rice and flour, dry beans, dried fruit, beef jerky, whey powder, etc etc. Then return to the house, gather the rest of the group and convoy up.

Now, I know the country reasonably well near where I'm living now. I'd want a large, fenced in property, with fertile ground, a heavy duty garage, and a well built, strong modern house, and I'd want it as far as possible from any cities or even towns.

At this point there get to be a few goals: fortifying the property, scouting and clearing local zombies, continuing to gather resources, maximizing food production on site, and establishing an emergency escape plan and hiding site. Improve the fences, build turret towers, and establish guard duties. Train everyone at shooting, and also at less noisy methods of killing. Establish an escape site. For the escape site, I would want a location at least 50k from main site. I'd want it in an even more remote area. I'd likely head into the logging roads and find a high ground clearcut. Here I'd set up an emergency store of supplies, build a bsic shelter, and make sure everyone knew how to get there.

Okay I think I have to stop, I'm already way carried away and I could just keep going forever.

[–]Maxmanta 4 points5 points ago

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I'd want a pony. I'd name her Buttercup.

[–]JediExile 2 points3 points ago

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How did he get access to that kind of equipment? It looks like the stuff I trained on.

[–]Bananarine 9 points10 points ago

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You get the gear anywhere. The gun is most likely airsoft.

[–]Supraman2222 6 points7 points ago

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They definitely aren't trained... The dude in the background is carrying that machine gun by the handle that removes the barrel for replacement when it gets hot. I'm sure it fell off at some point and he dropped the gun like a boss.

[–]Soor 2 points3 points ago

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Yeah but there is a a lever you need to depress before the barrel will slide off. Its actually pretty convienient way to carry it if you have something in your other hand.

[–]Supraman2222 2 points3 points ago

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I always had a sling, and the lever is on the side of the weapon beside his leg.

[–]SwimSquirrel 1 point2 points ago

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Lightsabers?

[–]schubear 1 point2 points ago

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THIS PICTURE IS OLDER THAN THE INTERNET.

I swear to god, 1/2 of all the posts on Reddit now came from 4chan like 10 years ago. Who the fuck a) hasn't seen this; and b) up-votes this nonsense?!!

[–]p0b 0 points1 point ago

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Funniest thing I've seen in a while. Bravo.

[–]BlueberryButts 0 points1 point ago

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I whole heartily admit to that.

[–]assesasinassassin 0 points1 point ago

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Damnit, this made me laugh out loud. Not an easy feat.

[–]LimehouseJack 0 points1 point ago

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I like to think that /k/ would be there to protect us.

Oh, wait - wrong website.

Carry on.

[–]gentleman_brown 0 points1 point ago

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Redditors are the zombies, so, pretty much business as usual.

[–]scuba_paul 0 points1 point ago

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Half of reddit would be the zombies.

[–]Amdinga 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, but we'd have like... kitchen utensils and tennis rackets instead of all that cool gear.

[–]IfoundItForYou 1 point2 points ago

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[–]hydrogenous 0 points1 point ago

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Most people who have a vague "plan" for the zombocalypse usually say they are going to go to a walmart or a supermarket. Personally I'm getting as far away from other people as possible.

[–]omarlittle22 0 points1 point ago

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If there ever was a zombie apocalypse, I'm definitely going to check out pretty quick. The whole post-apocalyptic world thing doesn't seem very fun to me, I've already lived out in the woods for months at a time with little supplies, it really isn't all it's cracked up to be. I'd honestly probably try to find some pain killers or heroin and do a bunch of it and go out all peaceful like. Or if I couldn't find any of that, I'd probably just shoot myself in the head. Either way is preferable to being eaten alive by zombies, imho.

tl;dr: Fuck living in a post-apocalyptic world.

[–]f4hy 0 points1 point ago

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I would just surender. I don't want to live in a world with zombies. Sounds terrifying. Might as well get it over with than watch everyone I love turn into a zombie and try to kill me.

[–]wasdy1 0 points1 point ago

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Operation Clog Their Toilets

[–]Klashus 0 points1 point ago

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GOD DAMN RIGHT

[–]Gairloch 0 points1 point ago

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Depends on the type of zombie.

[–]thetacticalpanda 0 points1 point ago

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Half of reddit would be zombies. At least half.

[–]SaintGulik 0 points1 point ago

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This is why I have a cat.

[–]kizkizkiz 0 points1 point ago

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I bet /r/brains will become very popular

[–]TheAnswerIsScience 0 points1 point ago

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Let's be real, I'd probably end up "omnomnomnom brains."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Actually, half of reddit would be zombies.

[–]Catch22af 0 points1 point ago

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What platoon did you say you're from again?

[–]bkh 0 points1 point ago

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I can tie a really nice noose.

That's my plan if there's a zombie apocalypse.

Suicide.

Cause fuck that shit.

[–]imakepeopleangry 0 points1 point ago

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I'm, personally, kinda curious just how well we could do. Some of us truly play with tactics and strategy that translates easily to real world situations and we've put countless hours into it. I'd face a zombie horde with a few of my fellow smarter gaming Redditors.

[–]NotVeryBlueberries 0 points1 point ago

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All the nerds need to remember; When the zombies stat rising we all need to just stay out of it for a while so they can spread. Otherwise everyone will just kill them when there are only a handful. How can we have fun if we kill them off immediately?