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all 175 comments

[–]modog97 162 points163 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Rebellious Teenage Jesus, I like it.

[–]tigerslovecinnamon 28 points29 points ago

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He was the cool kid in high school who could grow a full beard at 16.

[–]sgt_shizzles 11 points12 points ago

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Never mind his uncanny ability to turn water into Natty Light.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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Natty Light is water essentially, I'm not too impressed Jesus

[–]maleficIrish -1 points0 points ago

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Also he was really good at ice skating i hear...

[–][deleted] 56 points57 points ago

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Can we make this a thing?

[–]paffle 21 points22 points ago

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Can we make it a band?

[–]throwly 17 points18 points ago

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If so, the debut album name has to be "Disobeying the Ten Commandments". And there has to be a song about Nuns.

[–]NotSafeForHumanity 8 points9 points ago

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There already is a band (sort of); Teenage Jesus and the Jerks, No Wave pioneers.

[–]Wthturtle 8 points9 points ago

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you probably havent heard of them

[–]Brandwin 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for Teenage Jesus and the Jerks

[–]LadySiara 1 point2 points ago

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Great band/song.

[–]Dream_the_Unpossible 0 points1 point ago

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Cool song, but possibly NSFL video.

[–]LazyDynamite 1 point2 points ago

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NSFH

[–]_vitterfolk_ -3 points-2 points ago

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There is no way a band with that name couldn't be a punk band. Unless of course they were some pretentious hipsters. Or grindcore.... actually, now I can imagine a rap artist with that name. Shit, point lost.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points ago

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This should be /r/atheism's logo

[–]Siggy778 6 points7 points ago

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I'm Catholic and think this is the best thing ever.

[–]Whataboutmohammed 1 point2 points ago

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Is there a muslim mohammed version? Why isnt' there a mohammed version?

[–]laldans 2 points3 points ago

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Because Mohammed isn't the son of god, he was a prophet, if I have it right.

[–]Yaaf 1 point2 points ago

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Why would there be a Mohammed version?

[–]alekspg -2 points-1 points ago

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nobody paints Mohammed unfortunately.

[–]Modokon 1 point2 points ago

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Challenge accepted! Here's a picture of Mohammed's cock.

O

====D .... .. .. .. ... ... .. :-(

O

BTW the sad, sad face getting the money is Aisha/concubines/captured war booty etc. Delete as applicable.

[–]fully_furnished 21 points22 points ago

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nailed it.

[–]Siggy778 6 points7 points ago

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too soon

[–]justindbutler 3 points4 points ago

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HAH! GOOD SHOW!

[–]ajsatx 1 point2 points ago

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down voted it.

[–]What_Jesus_Would_Do 9 points10 points ago

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I swear to Dad, my Dad's just so damn bossy sometimes. He just makes me want to crucify myself sometimes!

[–]JibberGXP 1 point2 points ago

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"Thou shall not covet thy neighbours wife."

"Pfft, bitch, eat my body AND my blood."

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]modog97 4 points5 points ago

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Gracias!

[–]PropJoeFoSho 57 points58 points ago

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I'd buy this shirt

[–]bitterorca 36 points37 points ago

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Only with the sparkles!

[–]mrdrsmashington123 15 points16 points ago

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sparkles are a must.

[–]greasechicken -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]GrizlyAdams 1 point2 points ago

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I'd be happy with purple sequence

[–]bitterorca 12 points13 points ago

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You mean sequins? If so, then yes! Both are a must!

[–]TSOjunglist -2 points-1 points ago

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He means Sequans

[–]icockblock 1 point2 points ago

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i am selling 10$ each

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]icockblock -2 points-1 points ago

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in heaven bro....

[–]siskiyoufire 52 points53 points ago

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The color of the font really add's silly connotations to this. I approve!

[–]dbh04 27 points28 points ago

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reminds me of geocities... ahhh, geocities.

[–]rahtin 17 points18 points ago

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more of a myspace font

[–]ANAL_PLUNDERING 2 points3 points ago

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myspace?

[–]colbot5000 5 points6 points ago

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yourplace?

[–]ToastKnight 0 points1 point ago

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But not comic sans

[–]markgraf 0 points1 point ago

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Great catch!

Link

[–]typicalhorror 1 point2 points ago

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Or Myspace.

[–]Cyrius 2 points3 points ago

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The color of the font really add's silly connotations to this.

ಠ_ಠ

[–]boodabomb 0 points1 point ago

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After brief consideration I approve your approval

[–]ohhaithere69 56 points57 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]barium111 11 points12 points ago

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This is what i see on that link http://i.imgur.com/hH6hx.jpg

?????

Cant you upload it to imgur?

[–]iFlashie 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]barium111 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, yes... that is another way of saying "use imgur". Can you think of any more ways?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]barium111 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]needmoarbass 4 points5 points ago

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Thank you very much for this.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago

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I'm obsessed with this

[–]mr_bighead 24 points25 points ago

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best thing I've seen all week

[–]sleezweas 29 points30 points ago

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"ugh whatever me"

FTFY

[–]CorrectUsername 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Esplin 2 points3 points ago

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Have my children.

[–]shmimsy[S] 1 point2 points ago

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You're amazing! I lost it when I saw the big SEXY

[–]DANGERBASTARD 11 points12 points ago

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I read this in Lumpy Space Princess's voice. (adventure time)

[–]Fictitious_Pulp 1 point2 points ago

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I wasn't the only one, then...

I definitely thought it was going to say "OH MY GLOB".

[–]markgraf 0 points1 point ago

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We should just refer to him as "Lumpy Savior." It might replace my all time favorite incarnation of him, known as "Crunchy Savior."

[–]Domoshi 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Justin Bieber has this image tattooed on the back of his leg. It looked like Jesus was looking up his shorts.

Found the pic- http://images.eonline.com/eol_images/Entire_Site/201205//reg_293.bieber.cm.1512.jpg

[–]pineappleespresso 4 points5 points ago

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someone needs to photoshop the caption on the tattoo PLEASE

[–]JMaggot 0 points1 point ago

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LMAO at first I thought he was holding a pistol.

[–]Anticipator1234 9 points10 points ago

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Valley Christ, he's a Valley Christ... Ok fine, fer sure, fer sure, he's Valley Christ who's able to cure...

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Crucifiction is, like, SO bitchen!

[–]Doomshock 1 point2 points ago

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...NOTHING!

[–]owenseven 15 points16 points ago

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I don't think I have ever laughed so hard at a thumbnail. Thanks!

[–]LegendOfPokemon 2 points3 points ago

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This was the best part of my night so far. :)

[–]AngrySkillzz 13 points14 points ago

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Why exactly is this worth being the top post on r/atheism...

[–]haiku_robot 9 points10 points ago

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Why exactly is 
this worth being the top post 
on r/atheism...

[–]puredemo -2 points-1 points ago

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on r/atheism...

Psh, that's seven syllables not five.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Because this is literally the only funny thing to be posted in r/atheism.

[–]beware001 2 points3 points ago

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This is the best thing ever.

[–]ThisShit_IsCereal 2 points3 points ago

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Well that's my ab workout for the day.

[–]cschema 9 points10 points ago

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Read that in Jon Heder's (Napoleon Dynamite) voice. I think I added the 'gosh!' in my head.

[–]MSpainting 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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As a Christian, I find this hilarious

[–]WRESTLING_PROMO 33 points34 points ago

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LEMME TELL YA WHAT I FIND HILARIOUS BROTHER IS WHEN THEY SAY YOU GOT A CHANCE IN THE RING TONIGHT. YOU REMEMBER WHAT I DID TO YOU THE LAST TIME YOU GOT IN THERE WITH ME? NO, BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET HIT IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR AND KNOCKED OUT. WELL TONIGHT YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO TWICE AS MUCH. MAYBE THAT MEANS I HIT YOU TWICE WITH A CHAIR, OR MAYBE I HIT YOU WITH TWO DIFFERENT CHAIRS OR ONE REALLY BIG CHAIR OR A WHOLE BUNCH OF LITTLE ONES. YOU DON'T KNOW, DO YOU? NO, YOU DON'T AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA KNOW UNTIL YOU PROVE TO THE WORLD THAT YOU'RE EVERY BIT AS DUMB AS I SAY YOU LOOK. I'LL SEE YOU THERE, BUT WILL YOU SEE ME? WE'LL SEE. YEAH.

[–]WaitwhatamIdoinghere 8 points9 points ago

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I vote for lots of little chairs.

[–]uncleawesome 2 points3 points ago

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Seconded.

[–]mdoggdx316 3 points4 points ago

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I was gonna downvote you for the bad promo, but I realized your name isn't "GOOD_WRESTLING_PROMO" so it's not like I was really lied to or anything.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago

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yeah, cuz being christian while not being offended is so unusual

[–]Shadax 4 points5 points ago

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It... it really is actually.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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seriously? most Christians i know are laid back as fuck. well, the ones in my age group. a lot of them smoke weed too.

[–]Cyrius 2 points3 points ago

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I'm just going to go out on a limb here and say you two are talking about different subsets of Christians. There are loads of Christians who aren't offended by much. But the ones who get offended at everything are noisy.

[–][deleted] -5 points-4 points ago*

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i live in california

san diego specifically, which is a pretty right-wing area

i dont know what you mean by noisy

[–]silentjudas 2 points3 points ago

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That'd be why. Come down to Floribama. Some guy just firebombed our family planning clinic (aka the abortion clinic) that normally has people picketing with giant pictures of bloody fetuses outside of it...just to put it in perspective.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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oh great, now people want to downvote me cuz i'm not sucking everyone's dick and being part of the huge, atheist circlejerk/ pity party. i'm an atheist, but this subreddit is a fucking disgrace to intelligent atheists

[–]ANAL_PLUNDERING -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]kiliankoe 1 point2 points ago

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His face sparkles = Jesus was/is a twilight vampire?

[–]ffca 6 points7 points ago

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Why is this in /r/atheism??

Is being irreverent part of being atheist now?

[–]puredemo 4 points5 points ago

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Now? Pretty sure that has always been part of being an atheist.

[–]zanotam 4 points5 points ago

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In fact, I'm pretty sure not believing in God basically includes not revering God.

[–]Radico87 3 points4 points ago

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He's his own father and still thinks his dad is lame.

[–]uncleawesome -1 points0 points ago

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Would he say, "Dad damn it!" or "Me damn it!"?

[–]cindersticks -1 points0 points ago

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But then he would be a narcissist.

[–]Obi-Prawn_Kenobi 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Kennyboay 0 points1 point ago

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SO BRAVE

[–]MrTuddles 1 point2 points ago

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I should have been drinking milk.........time to get a towel.

[–]rodStewart 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]fallingthroughspace 1 point2 points ago

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My new wallpaper.

[–]barfretchpuke 1 point2 points ago

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CANNOT UNSEE. awesome.

[–]connorismad 1 point2 points ago

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I laughed a little harder than I probably should have.

[–]glitterbypink 1 point2 points ago

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upvote for sparkly lettering.

[–]generalozzman 1 point2 points ago

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new meme. i vote yes.

[–]lilaclace 1 point2 points ago

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Wow. This is the first thing I've actually enjoyed from r/atheism in a while. Thanks.

[–]Tevonification 1 point2 points ago

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I guess if I HAVE to die I'll do it...

[–]ReLiC71 1 point2 points ago

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Jesus and his amazing dancing freckles!

[–]doyoulikebread 2 points3 points ago

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What the fuck does this have to do with atheism again? Oh wait, I forgot about this subreddit's transition into r/circlejerk.

[–]karmakarmakarmakarma 15 points16 points ago

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Proving that atheists take themselves too seriously.

LIKE SERIOUSLY.

[–]AmishCooking 9 points10 points ago

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The fact that it's funny and blasphemous as hell.

[–]zanotam -3 points-2 points ago

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Implying that /r/atheism was ever not /r/circlejerk.

[–]gastrodon_bastron 1 point2 points ago

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this is hilarious as fuck. congrats

[–]Kevout 1 point2 points ago

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Enjoy your 1,000th uovote. I'm at an [8] and I can't stop laughing

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Kevout -2 points-1 points ago

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Who in the world is downvoting us :/

[–]Kanapro 0 points1 point ago

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This subreddit is like a circlejerk for people who got raped by their priest

[–]nmcyall 0 points1 point ago

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They are HATE CRIMINALS.

[–]puredemo -1 points0 points ago

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Yeah, well... your face is like a circlejerk for people who got raped by their priest.

[–]garatron 0 points1 point ago

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Is this on Jesus' MySpace?

[–]BRAVEATHEISTWARRIOR -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]mattstheman972 0 points1 point ago

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ctrl + f "brave"

Keep jerkin'

[–]What_Jesus_Would_Do 0 points1 point ago

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OH GOD DAMNIT, DAD!

Get off of Reddit while you're at work, pops.

[–]Rick_James284 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of Windows 98. Still trying to figure that out.

[–]PullOutBoy 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus christ!

Holy crap, like oh my god really!?!??!

[–]akamjballar 0 points1 point ago

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If aim (aol instant messager) was still prevalent, I would actually set this as my avatar.

[–]Take_A_Chancer 0 points1 point ago

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Every time I read the title I imagine Jesus and urshur singing so many ways to love you.

[–]shnozzberry_fairy 0 points1 point ago

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i almsot peed myself from laughter.

[–]onandoff 0 points1 point ago

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What's wrong with his neck?

[–]platypusbeaver 0 points1 point ago

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This made me laugh so hard

[–]malmac 0 points1 point ago

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He was 33 when he got it. By that time, he was at the stage of worshiping his dad...oh hell, what did I just say?

[–]NegativeKarmaNow 0 points1 point ago

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i read this in a napolean dynamite voice

[–]WcJessen 0 points1 point ago

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Spoiler: he is his own dad.

[–]bbb19 0 points1 point ago

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WOW that is funny.

[–]mbritt74 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus is cuming.

[–]glasswalker 0 points1 point ago

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fabulous font

[–]oldninercowboy 0 points1 point ago

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Is that Charlie scene? Ladies show me your sweets like it's Halloween.

[–]fnordy -1 points0 points ago

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This really does not contribute to any worthwhile discussion of atheist/theist matters. I think r/atheism needs its own humour-based subsubreddit.

[–]me_ow -1 points0 points ago

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so sacrilegious it's FAAAAAAAAAABULOUS

[–]danrom12 -1 points0 points ago

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Hahahahaha i love this, if i steal this im sorry

[–]Ozzel1138 -3 points-2 points ago

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WTF does this have anything to do with atheism. Funny regardless

[–]cntlkbckwrds -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Zore -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]puredemo 0 points1 point ago

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So submit it as its own post.

[–]Zore -1 points0 points ago

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Sure i will post it in that comment :)