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555
556

Why men shouldn't write advice columns (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by Orbixx

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[–]ofacup 235 points236 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

my grandma sent me this, in 1998

[–]keezel 74 points75 points ago

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Sometimes I actually like reading reposts if they're funny. I share them with people that don't spend 90% of every waking moment on the intertubes like I do.

[–]ofacup 44 points45 points ago

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i enjoy a good repost as much as the other 99%, i just sometimes find it necessary to point out that my grandmother did, in fact, send me this in 1998

[–]snoaj 16 points17 points ago

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I enjoy reposts too. Unless its really dumb and probably inspired by a fucking Cathy comic from 1998.

[–]Stofer 6 points7 points ago

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We are the 99% and we are angry about repost rage disparity.

[–]goofball_jones 0 points1 point ago

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My grandmother sent me this in 1986, so your grandmother was obviously reposting it. Just wanted to point this out.

[–]flopus 0 points1 point ago

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My grandmother sent me this in 1875 so probably yours was just reposting.

[–]Jesufication 0 points1 point ago

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if they're funny

I think there's a key element missing here.

[–]justguessmyusername -1 points0 points ago

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Yeah I've read this before but I forgot what the joke was so I read it again and now I remember reading it before.

[–]B_S_O_D 15 points16 points ago

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Condescending Fox would like to have a word with you.

[–]manualfocus 3 points4 points ago

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Al Gore sent me this when he invented the Internet.

[–]blue_barracuda 1 point2 points ago

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This might have been the first ever post on reddit.

[–]creepy_is_what_I_do 68 points69 points ago

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This thing is so old that when I first received it in an e-mail forward in 2003, my girlfriend hadn't even been born yet.

[–]manberry_sauce 34 points35 points ago

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ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ

[–]McBride36 47 points48 points ago

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Why don't you have a seat over here...

[–]wtfOP 5 points6 points ago

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um... nevermind.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]qwop88 33 points34 points ago

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This thread needs more people bitching about seeing this before.

[–]lustigjh 9 points10 points ago

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As well as more comments mentioning the amount of people bitching about it being old!

[–]khdutton 24 points25 points ago

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Obviously, there was not enough spark.

[–]OSI350Z 10 points11 points ago

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Their relationship probably combusted after that

[–]iliketotravel 13 points14 points ago

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Please, don't inject any more fuel into this fire.

[–]OSI350Z 10 points11 points ago

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That poor woman was probably exhaust-ed after that walk back

[–]HerrShaun 4 points5 points ago

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His drive was too intense to settle for just one woman.

[–]idancetotechno 6 points7 points ago

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The guy refuels to pump any more effort into his marriage.

[–]chuckchar 4 points5 points ago

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6 months? you think a idiot light woulda flashed a few codes before the breakdown

[–]OSI350Z 4 points5 points ago

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thinking of puns can be quite tire-some

[–]Red_AtNight 3 points4 points ago

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If you get a headache, just take a little brake.

[–]pseudo721 2 points3 points ago

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She tried to fix their relationship, but he just piston moaned.

[–]dorekk -1 points0 points ago

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Come on, man, why you gotta do this. "Exhaust-ed"? Like we wouldn't have gotten it if you left the hyphen out?

[–]khdutton 1 point2 points ago

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You think he promised to tow the line?

[–]zamboniman46 43 points44 points ago

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i don't see anything wrong with his answer

[–]elf_dreams 15 points16 points ago

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I do, your first step after the stall shouldn't be checking the fuel line, but the plugs to see if you were running rich or lean when it died.

[–]IHateNicolasCage 0 points1 point ago

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their marriage is fucked, might as well try to fix the car

[–]jwitham2002 27 points28 points ago

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acceptable

[–]Bored_At_Night 2 points3 points ago

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What's Christian Bale doing talking to Batman?

[–]Akelzero 3 points4 points ago

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They are accepting that, maybe they could both be the heroes this city needs.

[–]TexasWithADollarsign 14 points15 points ago

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Ha, it's funny because guys only think about cars.

[–]wei-long 11 points12 points ago

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And they love to cheat - HAHAHAHA! no seriously this is whatever the opposite of misogyny is.

[–]Tinctorius 8 points9 points ago

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Misandry.

[–]speqter 1 point2 points ago

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There's just a little misandrstanding.

[–]petersk8008 4 points5 points ago

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Its an analogy:

Replace "car" with relationship. "short distance" = 10 year relationship "engine" = what keeps the relationship going "debris" = what could stop the relationship from moving forward "vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold" = sexytime parts for the bedroom "grounding wires" = whats keeping you in the relationship "fuel pump is faulty" = the guy is the problem and you shouldn't be with him anymore.

Boom.

[–]DefinitelyRepost 1 point2 points ago

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That's just like, your opinion, man

[–]SubzeroQK 0 points1 point ago

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The mas a genius!

[–]ralienz 2 points3 points ago

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If you read this literally and see the double entendre's it is actually filled with advice for both problems.

[–]windrixx 0 points1 point ago

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that's actually amazing.

[–]dorekk 0 points1 point ago

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All the times I've seen this, I didn't really think of it that way. Boom! Head a splode.

[–]5in1in5 3 points4 points ago

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Why men should write advice columns. FTFY

[–]chaated 6 points7 points ago

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hahaha, it's silly how men and women are different!

[–]Neker 2 points3 points ago

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Old jokes never die, they get recycled over and over again and over and over again. I'd bet this one has been around since the first edition of Playboy or something ...

[–]cockyjeremy 2 points3 points ago

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I don't see the issue. Looks like perfectly good advice to me?

[–]ContrarianSciencePhD 11 points12 points ago

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If you add up all their ages and the length of time they were married... That's how old this is.

[–]quantiplex 5 points6 points ago

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Way to go, John!

[–]Mr_Ected 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW: FW:

[–]manualfocus -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

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[–]SoFisticate 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

RE: lol

[–]dorekk 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

speaking of lols! this made me laugh.

[–]RedDaggerx -5 points-4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

FW: Lol, look what my best friend's second cousin twice removed's great aunt's step son's second ex's daughter sent my best friend's second cousin twice removed's great aunt's step son's second ex who sent it to my best friend's second cousin twice removed's great aunt's step son who sent it to my best friend's second cousin twice removed's great aunt who sent it to my best friend's second cousin twice removed who sent it to my best friend who sent it to me! Don't worry, I deleted all the 'FW:s' because they were starting to rot.

[–]chimchim64 1 point2 points ago

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An oldy but an... oldy.

[–]lookadistraction 1 point2 points ago

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I agree, I don't think that would fix the problem.

[–]ashep24 1 point2 points ago

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I remember the first time I saw this 34 sounded old!

[–]Hal_Nein_Thousand 1 point2 points ago

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I swear I saw the exact same thing, only the husband was crossdressing in his wife's underwear.

[–]Olmifon 1 point2 points ago

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How is it that everyone assumes the advice column wasn't about auto maintenance? You wouldn't call tech support asking about marriage advice. The column writer just stuck to what he knew.

[–]ggk1 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

a man writes to an advice column:

Dear John,

I've suspected my wife to be cheating on me for the past few months. She's commonly out "working late" and being dropped off by her boss. The other day I hid behind my boat to see if she would kiss the boss goodnight or anything else obvious when she got home (which she did). While I was hiding, I saw a hairline crack in my transom. Do you think I should just patch it, or is a whole new transom required?

[–]Taurox 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hacky Radio Voice And next up! The top 10 reasons why chocolate is better than men! Ahahahah! Hacky Radio Voice

[–]fairyxxx 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

was amazing advise, got the car going :D x

[–]DoctorNose 1 point2 points ago

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Why not? Their response is apparently good enough to get a different user on reddit a few hundred upvotes every single day.

[–]boiler_up 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I feel like this is why men SHOULD write advice columns.

[–]djc52 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

stop reposting: http://karmadecay.com/i.imgur.com/5uVfH.jpg

[–]sonavlaa 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

South Carolina, winning since 1860.

[–]be_mindful 0 points1 point ago

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i present my all time favorite Onion gag.

[–]felixthehat 0 points1 point ago

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it's from viz letterbocks. damnit.

[–]brokensys 0 points1 point ago

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Seems to me he answered both her questions.

[–]thegoatlord 0 points1 point ago

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Seems like solid advice to me

[–]equites 0 points1 point ago

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And here I thought the printing press wasn't invented till the 1400s.

[–]GJOP 0 points1 point ago

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Steve is a sell out

[–]MalevolentSalamander 0 points1 point ago

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It's actually a metaphor.

[–]brobert4 0 points1 point ago

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Dude I live just south of Gilbert o.o....

[–]iamthemarauder 0 points1 point ago

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HHA HHA HHAAA

[–]CthulhuCompanionCube 0 points1 point ago

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Has Car Talk seen this?!

[–]sleepnaught 0 points1 point ago

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Is this old or just a repost? This might be one of the only things I've seen on Reddit that I've seen somewhere else first.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Like a woman's would be anything but "how to satisfy your man like a freak"

[–]Dnfire17 0 points1 point ago

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The title should be: "why men SHOULD write advice columns". He went right to the point.

[–]Rockmonk 0 points1 point ago

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TLDRWAA.

[–]Hadephobiac 0 points1 point ago

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More like why men should write all the advice columns, if she knew what to do with the car they'd still be happily married with her getting roses and jewellery every other day after he bangs the neighbour's 19 yo daughter, whilst being non the wiser to the aforementioned act.

Practical advice trumps shitty emotional bull crap that doesn't change anything any day.

[–]TeCuervo 0 points1 point ago

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I believe the issue could be the alternator. Did the electrical start going? You should be able to notice the headlights dimming so slightly.

[–]Plavonica 0 points1 point ago

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No sexism here. Nope. None.

[–]thezed 0 points1 point ago

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When did Reddit get purchased by Reader's Digest?

[–]oozerfip 0 points1 point ago

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I guess I'm not a man since I didn't understand a thing he wrote.

[–]pipian -1 points0 points ago

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Why idiots shouldn't write advice columns.

FTFY.

[–]OJSlaughter 0 points1 point ago

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I just don't see why this is funny. She asked for advice and then got it. Case closed!

[–]ppyil 0 points1 point ago

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Don't you mean.. 'Why men should write advice columns'?

[–]DavenIII -1 points0 points ago

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It's exactly why men SHOULD write advice columns, John knows there is no solving the "other" problem so he concentrates on the one he CAN solve....

[–]TheFAJ -1 points0 points ago

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Don't post stuff you got in a chain-letter from your grandparents

[–]SlickRoach -1 points0 points ago

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I'm not going to lie, as a guy I had to re-read this to understand the problem. After car problems the rest I somehow overlooked.

[–]MyL1ttlePwnys -1 points0 points ago

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the Onion has been doing this for a loooooooong time. This reprint is actually from an Onion article as well. Here is another example of a full one.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/ask-a-navy-seal,12246/

[–]daffodilhill -1 points0 points ago

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Poor lady. :(

[–]DoctorRobert420 -1 points0 points ago

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cannot bring myself to upvote this, but still funny.

[–]Revolution8600 -1 points0 points ago

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The dinosaurs called. They want their joke back.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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O.O wa hahahahahaha never seen this before, good advice.

[–]MatchesBowie -1 points0 points ago

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OH COME ON

[–]xen0blue -1 points0 points ago

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I lol'd...and no, i've never heard it

[–]douglasmacarthur -5 points-4 points ago

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Like the answer to this is that complicated in the first place.

Divorce him.

Done.

[–]Solkre 0 points1 point ago

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Watch him give less shits as he bangs a 19yr old. OH WAIT, IT'S ALL A JOKE.

[–]douglasmacarthur -2 points-1 points ago

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...I know it's a joke?

It would just be funnier if it were something that actually suited an advice column and not an obvious question.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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...I know it's a joke?

Statement. Not a question. Drop the question mark.

[–]douglasmacarthur -1 points0 points ago

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"Statement" and "not a question" aren't sentences.

I used it because it signals a certain tone. That's the sort of thing people do when typing colloquially, just like you just did.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Tell me how they weren't sentences. Even if they aren't (which I never disputed in my original post, and thus was unprovoked), how does this change the fact that your STATEMENT wasn't a question?

By the way, the tone you gave off was that of a cunt. So, well played. Cunt.

[–]Jeembo -1 points0 points ago

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Holy hypocrisy, batman.

[–]I_ALWAYS_DOWNVOTE -4 points-3 points ago

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if you're going to the newspaper for advice you deserve what you get.

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