I've done all these things

fullcircle_bflo · 8 months

5.5 Retrieve can from garbage to check for cooking time.

back_spasm · 8 months

Step 9: Leave bowl in sink until soup hardens and bowl is uncleanable.

RhysA · 8 months

I cook it in a pot on my stove...

knylok · 8 months

Pro Tip! To remove caked on, hardened gunk from the walls of your microwave, microwave a small container of vinegar. A few minutes should do. When done, try wiping down the inside of the microwave with a paper towel. Still too difficult? Microwave more vinegar!

imaunitard · 8 months

I have a scar on my wrist from a Campbell's soup can from 13 years ago. My roommate left the lid on the can sticking up and threw it in the garbage. I Hulk smashed the garbage down and cut my wrist on it.

Now when Hulk get angry, Hulk look at wrist and remember to calm.

Qweef · 8 months

I wonder what rich people eat when they are sick?

humblerodent · 8 months

Relevant

pimfram · 8 months

True story, #2 http://i.imgur.com/RkUYd.jpg

SuziBrookz · 8 months

You people are doing this all wrong.

poke hole in top of can.
place can on top of (xbox360/wii/ps3)r.
wait for can to heat.
drink soup straight from can.

idratherusethephone · 8 months

Step 1: Why don't you just heat it on the stove, add crackers once soup is sufficiently hot, and eat it from the pot like a civilized person?

Step 2: Then, once finished, fill pot with water and let it "rest" in the sink until you require the use of the pot again.

Step 3: Give it a quick and easy rinse, repeat step 1.

Tenure · 8 months

I feel like it should say, "Lift tab to remove tab; find can opener" at the start there.

zoidbort · 8 months

This is disturbingly accurate. Still ignoring that mess in my microwave...

huyak · 8 months

ProTip: set the microwave oven to 40%-60% power and for a longer time, once the correct power/time ratio is figured out the "scalding outside - freezing inside" plague of microwave re-heating will vanish for most foods.

OKAH · 8 months

Microwave..... Soup

People do that?

winterandautumn · 8 months

Cold soup disgusts me so much I almost have a fear of it.

giroml · 8 months

You forgot, "Slice finger again on lid when pushing garbage down to make room for more."

enduser666 · 8 months

If people only understood that you can reduce the power of the microwave, they would use it a lot more often. Honestly, in most cases, if you double the normal cooking time and use power level 6, your food will come out evenly cooked and about a thousand times better. You can also cover your food with a damp paper towel to steam it a little and keep the food from drying out. Cooking it more slowly already prevents drying out to a degree but combine these two methods and you're gold.

mind_the_gap · 8 months

Do none of you have this can opener? It leaves the edge blunt and smooth, practically impossible to cut yourself on it. Come on, I live in Mexico and have one of those. You first worlders should be able to open a can of soup without getting cut.

Ruddiver · 8 months

I got my son to start eating tomato soup by telling him it tastes like barf.

missdemeanorblue · 8 months

"All these things that I have done"

deefrances · 8 months

that was the most hurt ive ever gotten from food related items. and the most blood in my food, too.

agentpatsy · 8 months

If you can't hold on, hold on.

bloodguard · 8 months

They need to add: Cut hand on lid again while smooshing down garbage in a vain attempt to avoid having to take out the garbage.

seasicksquid · 8 months

Ah yes, the slicing. I recently endured 6 stitches to my finger from a can of black beans. How is it in this day and age we're still fighting CANS?

SirHumanoid · 8 months

Mmmm...Campbell's forever...

[deleted] · 8 months

Is there any other way?

[deleted] · 8 months

Lost it at Step 3.

apullin · 8 months

Get one of these can openers: http://www.amazon.com/OXO-Good-Grips-Smooth-Opener/dp/B000079XW2

It will change your god dammed life.

ceej2012 · 8 months

Don't forget slicing your leg open on the razor sharp lid as you take the trash out the next morning.

crookedparadigm · 8 months

I winced when I read the line about cutting myself on the can.

jonatcer · 8 months

Am I the only person who has never cut themselves on a can? Hell, I lick the top part after I open it too, never cut my tongue...

lauren_india · 8 months

every, damn, time.

thebeststine · 8 months

So um, how did it taste when it was ready?

thecapitalc · 8 months

I have never microwaved this... I guess I am a freak.

superawesomeid · 8 months

I got deep cut from opening a can before and had to get stitches. from then on, i wear gloves and open them slowly. i still love having some can of soup around. anyone hungry for some chili soup?

joejoetheeskimo · 8 months

L2 use sauce pot n00b

Yotuka · 8 months

It's a can of future!! Future!!!!!!

_momo · 8 months

this is so foreign to me, cooking soup on a stove is so much easier because i never have a microwaveable bowl big enough to fit all the soup but also fit into the microwave...

DoesNotTalkMuch · 8 months

Well then eat the soup ಠ_ಠ

AllerdingsUR · 8 months

Step 0: buy something less messy than soup.

brogues1 · 8 months

I just improvise when it comes to Campbell's.

Lulzorr · 8 months

step 8 can easily be skipped with nothing but a single paper towel..

MuNansen · 8 months

Could be Edmonton

toolatealreadyfapped · 8 months

You had me at "soup-coated walls forever"

coronaride · 8 months

Step 6.5, listen in horror as the microwave explodes tiny bits of potato and carrot all over its interior.

Mindgate · 8 months

haha, I can identify with the "throw very hard into garbage can, so it knows what it's done."

I came out of the shower, put on fresh socks, but the elastic was worn out. I ripped them off my feet, smashed them into the trash. That showed those stupid socks who's the boss.

SonOfDadOfSam · 8 months

I still have a scar on my finger from a can lid. Stupid cans.

FlyinRyan92 · 8 months

I cook my soup on the stove like a man.

cryer · 8 months

Step 7 should have a few optional substeps Either A) Think about warming it again since it's cold inside but stir it to lukewarm and eat it anyway because you just want to eat or B) Warm it again until lit's burning hot and have to wait for it to cool, delaying your satiation.

rjhelms · 8 months

It took me a while to figure out that these weren't the real instructions. So accurate, how could they not be?

ruddelsticks · 8 months

Number 6 is precisely why I don't even like high wattage microwaves. They don't cook "faster", they cook hotter... And I've noticed the power levels aren't even like cooking at lower wattages, they just make the magnetron run in pulses...

RedBeardthered · 8 months

Get Pacific soups (Pacifica maybe?). They're infinitely better. I think they are in the organic section. They have tons of cool flavors and are packed with flavor. My favorite is the roasted red pepper soup. So good.

Big_E33 · 8 months

spot on

feelsnice · 8 months

You forgot to add:

Add one can of water...give or take one can.

ifatree · 8 months

a paper plate over the top of the soup bowl keeps things a lot cleaner...

XMackenzie · 8 months

Final step - find out can lid has cut garbage bag.

PurpleHaseman · 8 months

I'm getting laid off from this company today, can i haz karma?

MelissaPeaches · 8 months

me too

mokkush · 8 months

And this is why I no longer cook in a microwave...all health reasons aside, food is just way tastier (and far more enjoyable to eat) when it's on a stovetop/oven.

errorflux · 8 months

I whole-heartedly support this post.

look_at_me · 8 months

It's all accurate except the microwave-safe bowl part.

JRoch · 8 months

Step aside plebeians; you put the can directly on the bonfire of your enemies' corpses, and eat the can. Soup is overrated anyway.

ghpoobah · 8 months

Protip: Don't put your bowl in the middle of the microwave. By off-centering it, it will cook evenly.

danpascooch · 8 months

I lost my shit at number 4

deswyn · 8 months

It smells so good, but why does it taste like cardboard?

godlesspinko · 8 months

Microwaving soup?

This is one case where it's faster on the stove, and tastes sooooooooo much better.

d4vi3j03 · 8 months

Explains my soup experiences perfectly

Elkram · 8 months

why would you mircrowave it when the cooking instructions are so easy:

1) open can

2) put contents into pot

3) add some water, however much you want it doesn't really matter, depends more on how much soup you want

4) set on the highest fucking heat possible until it boils, once it boils put into a bowl and enjoy your fucking soup.

sleepnaught · 8 months

You've gotta cover food in the microwave! Put a paper towel or paper plate on top of the soup and it won't splatter!

colloquy · 8 months

You forgot to add ... "Wrap finger in towel and drive to the ER".

Machinax · 8 months

I should...clean my microwave.

YankeeMama · 8 months

It's about time Campbells got it's finger on the pulse of their demographic.

drjohnson89 · 8 months

Final Step: Attempt to remove trash bag only to realize the rogue soup lid has sliced it in half. Swallow sadness and clean up last week's garbage from floor.

andbruno · 8 months

Forgot about: Worry about safety of microwave as all the carrots explode like firecrackers.

Seriously, fuck carrots in microwaves.

misterraider · 8 months

Who the hell takes a photo from this angle?

boudy077 · 8 months

was anyone else's computer screen warped after they looked away from the picture?

Ozdock · 8 months

I've only ever need stitches once in my life. And it was from slicing my finger open on a can of soup.

I've used an electric opener ever since.

thefinalfall · 8 months

step 11. Go to moms house and hope she made a good meal

ASSinAssassin · 8 months

9 . Take garbage out while trash spills everywhere due to rule 3.

mme_deviance · 8 months

I used to work on an old Civil War ship and we would have kids and their parents come and spend the night on the ship while pretending it was during the Civil War. For dinner we would feed them canned soup and stew.

One night when I was the cook, I sliced my finger open and didn't notice until I saw a stream of blood pouring into the pot. The cut was deep and it took a long time to get it to stop bleeding. In that time someone took the pot onto the ship, heated up the soup, and fed it to everyone.

A_Wild_Missingno · 8 months

have you ever tried that soup to go? It comes in a little cup that you just put in the microwave for like 2 minutes and then you can just drink it.

Why the fuck does that explode? You take off the cap and there's still a metal ring around it that sparks and makes the thing tip over. Which asshole invented that product?

camycam178 · 8 months

Errm I just put a plate over the bowl I'm microwaving, no soup everywhere.

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