How to avoid a speeding ticket

tip_ty · 9 months

My dad told me this joke years ago. But he didn't start it by saying "here's how to avoid a speeding ticket!" because that gives away the ending.

Tier4 · 9 months

Careful with that joke, it's an antique!

Pergatory · 9 months

The missing 17th frame is where the two cops go back to the first cop's car, rewind the dash cam, and observe you telling the first cop you had no license, no registration, and a body in your trunk.

The 18th frame is them turning off the dash cam.

The 19th frame is you waking up in the hospital.

Problemzone · 9 months

How to avoid any ticket [FIXED]

mkdz · 9 months

The first cop can still write you a speeding ticket. Also, at least in Maryland, he can still write you a ticket for not having license and registration because you have to show him license and registration in a reasonable time after he asks for it.

wanttoseemycat · 9 months

Thank god someone took this decade old joke and mspainted the fuck out of it.

AriusEx · 9 months

Alternate ending:

http://doctorjesse.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/police_brutality-svg-hi.png

732 · 9 months

If it was only that easy... clever nontheless.

thesepigswillplay · 9 months

Or you go to jail.

dabezian · 9 months

How to avoid speeding tickets - don't go and drive, instead, stay home and post one of the most overused jokes of all time

land345 · 9 months

It's just a reposted rage comic in a different form.

jCcrackhead · 9 months

I've been pulled over twice, once for doing about 60-70 in a 35-45 zone, I think it turned into a 45 from a 35 and the other time for "not maintaining a safe driving distance." The first time, I was nervous but I was polite and told the cop it was just a long day at work and I was trying to get home (it really was, I think it was like 1 am). He let me go with a warning. The next cop I thought for sure was going to give me a ticket because he was yelling at me for being too close to the car in front of me, it was a 30 mph zone and the guy was going maybe 25 and again at like 1 am, anyway I was still polite said I was sorry. He too let me go, and he didn't even write me up a warning.

TL;DR be nice to the cops, show them respect even if they're yelling at you that's how you can get out of a ticket.

denim-chicken · 9 months

Be female
cry

cheblehbleh · 9 months

False information, that will put you in jail...

pshsobananas · 9 months

I really want someone to actually do this.

albk · 9 months

How to avoid several serious charges related to making a false statement to an officer, obstruction and whatever else, and a speeding ticket:

just pay for speeding, get a radar detector, or don't speed.

hansn · 9 months

No, THIS is how you avoid tickets... according to Hunter S. Thompson.

incorrectlycorrects2 · 9 months

How women avoid tickets. NSFW

khanfusion · 9 months

Yes, let me spend all day and/or night waiting for the police comish to show up, so I can completely fail at avoiding a speeding ticket.

Nate_the_Ace · 9 months

Also, "Bees! Bees! Bees in the car! Bees everywhere! God, they're huge and they're sting crazy! They're ripping my flesh off! Run away, your firearms are useless against them!"

highhhhclimber · 9 months

I see no way that this plan could go awry....

Brainles5 · 9 months

Please stop reposting this joke.

thegimboid · 9 months

And this is how you get arrested for wasting police time and resources.

FTFY

DraugrMurderboss · 9 months

AKA how to get locked in a jail cell for a night or two.

Red_AtNight · 9 months

The weird thing is how the hell did people tell this joke before the invention of the automobile? Because I'm pretty sure it's that old.

Leathernecks · 9 months

I must have forgotten that police are not allowed to speak to each other?

FrownSyndrome · 9 months

This is an old joke. Why did you turn it into a shitty comic?

mijreggin · 9 months

I like how the mustache increases in size by rank.

CloneDeath · 9 months

HA HA! THANKS FOR TAKING ONE OF THE OLDEST JOKES AND MAKING IT INTO A COMIC. IT IS SO MUCH FUNNIER AND NEW NOW. HECK, JUST LOOKING AT THE TITLE I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS GOING TO BE THAT LAME ASS JOKE AGAIN.

nebos11 · 9 months

mmmmmm this joke smells like ebaumsworld. Your MS Paint rendition looks like it too!

jimrooney · 9 months

Cuz "obstruction of justice" is so much more fun to deal with than a speeding ticket.

MostlyHarmless121 · 9 months

This seems like a very good way to get arrested.

skippyG · 9 months

Solution: Don't speed

MrGoodSire · 9 months

In LA cop kill you and stick you in trunk!

Such is life in LA.

[deleted] · 9 months

i thought you were gonna say you avoid the speeding ticket by going away for murder, that would surely work

Timlad · 9 months

can you also teach me how to post old ass shit?

RRizzo · 9 months

Not how cops work

jdb12 · 9 months

This was ripped off from somewhere... oh wait, that's what r/funny is for. My B.

thmsbsh · 9 months

Best way to avoid a speeding ticket? Drive properly. It's not fucking hard.

[deleted] · 9 months

Not funny. Never was.

Contero · 9 months

How to ~~avoid a speeding ticket~~ die

spicywith · 9 months

or peel away from the cops, aim the car at a tree and bail out. car explodes and vaporizes the "bodies". cops assume you're dead, and you can now enjoy a life off the grid and free of speeding tickets.

Wesabbal32 · 9 months

How does a repost get 329 upvotes?

bkay17 · 9 months

Re:Re:Re:Re:Fwd

cheblehbleh · 9 months

Also this is a repost :/

atlanticblue · 9 months

In the US he got shot in the face somewhere before the last frame.

mrpopenfresh · 9 months

Love those eyes at the end.

maxplott · 9 months

I have a feeling that I'd get tased

bsn10911 · 9 months

My grandmother must have a reddit account because I heard this joke from her two weeks ago.

cma6250 · 9 months

If only...

Books_4_LYFE · 9 months

Ten bucks to whoever tries this.

adietofworms · 9 months

How to avoid a speeding ticket: Don't speed.

TheyCallMeTraderMan · 9 months

Don't try this, IT'S A TRAP!!!

[deleted] · 9 months

how to avoid a speeding ticket...how about not speed?

Lemmings19 · 9 months

Except you get arrested instead.

CerealMen · 9 months

Only works if you are black.

poptart2nd · 9 months

oh so you took an old, worn out joke and made it into a comic? how clever of you.

Crazy_String_Man · 9 months

Actually you would get a ticket and possibly something else for lying to an officer.

marios32 · 9 months

This is older than the fucking internet.

aWildchildo · 9 months

Solution? BEES!

brucemo · 9 months

I think you end up beaten, tasered, and taken in to jail this way.

And you get a speeding ticket.

Viceroy3769 · 9 months

This isn't original sorry it used to be just words you just turned it into a comic. Cool but not your idea

jiggalypuff69 · 9 months

This would be a completely different story if the guy was black.

moderndaycassiusclay · 9 months

I'm going to try this the next time I get pulled over.

nmddl · 9 months

Upvote; but that is just the worst drawing of a car's trunk I've ever seen.

Brandwin · 9 months

I always thought the cop would drive-by pepper spray you.

[deleted] · 9 months

Im pretty sure the moment you say "This is a stolen car", you'd have a gun trained on you and they'd be yelling "SIR, STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE NOW!"

Guppywily · 9 months

This is just crazy enough to work.

Apparently this joke isn't OC, yet this is the first time I've heard it.

Desdon · 9 months

Bash.org

Lot2rocks · 9 months

This is the first time i've seen something posted on Facebook, then on Reddit later.

dsteelenet · 9 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTzfKnml-Ow

gmale9000 · 9 months

This is a very old joke.

californian10 · 9 months

dumbest thing i've seen all day

Broken_S_Key · 9 months

commissioner, problem?

bourneSC · 9 months

I think Kevin Mitnick had in the art of deception another nifty way. Find out when the officer who gave you a ticket is unavailable. I think he used the example of acting like a lawyer trying to schedule something involving the officer. Then, try to get your traffic court case moved to the unavailable times. IIRC he basically said that no officer is going to skip vacation/training or other bigger events for a traffic hearing, and when he doesn't show you get off automatically.

wesman212 · 9 months

That's how you get yourself shot in a felony stop, bro.

MajorSquiggles · 9 months

Heard this one before but it's much better with pretty colors @_@

selectix · 9 months

Man up and say you f-ed up. Cops hear people bullshit all the time and they will respect the fact you admit you messed up and recognize that you shouldn't have been speeding. Whenever cops are asked that, they always say admitting it honestly is the #1 reason they let people off.

sareynoo · 9 months

Brilliant. Sucks we didn't know to do this when my friend was doing 98 in a 65. Next time......

AgitpropAndApologia · 9 months

You can also pull his moustache for good luck.

DracoX872 · 9 months

This looks like it came off Funny Junk. Interesting fact: it did

Fingermyannulus · 9 months

That guy's not a commissioner! Oh, wait, never mind, he has a moustache, nope, definitely a commissioner.

cinthesizer · 9 months

This reminds me of Harold and Maude...

mark331 · 9 months

Someone try this and tell us how it goes. My cars sucks. Sorry.

[deleted] · 9 months

I actually tried this, whilst the teensiest bit angered to shit from a bad party.

I got arrested and my house was searched, along with my car (which was impounded).

Don't do this kids.

Deucy · 9 months

If I had a dollar for everytime I've seen this comic..

backwardsK15 · 9 months

I've tried this! It totally works wonders for getting me thrown in jail!

Commentits · 9 months

You had the golden opportunity of using "le siren" on the second frame and getting away with it because of the french flag. I am disappoint.

flamingboard · 9 months

Jesus fucking christ. This is the second joke from 1940 laid over a shitty comic in the last 24 hours.

rishop · 9 months

Old as fucking fuck.

Baghdadification · 9 months

In Germany, you don't get a speeding ticket unless you got caught by the camera. Also, a police officer traveling alone can't really fine you, since it's your word against his; that's what they always (well, usually) travel in pairs (one acts as a witness).

Juss sayin'

khast · 9 months

I live in the US, frequent visitor to Canada....

"But officer I was going slower than 70, I thought it felt unsafe to travel that fast through here."

"What's a Kilo-mile?" (Said with an almost southern drawl...)

p3t3r133 · 9 months

Old joke + MS paint = Front page

flynnfx · 9 months

Protrip : This does not work if you actually do have a body in the trunk.

EviX · 9 months

I was gonna try it, then I realized that if it was real it woulda been in pics, not cartoons =/

DENelson83 · 9 months

Uh, filing a false police report much?

EasterTroll · 9 months

I thought the mustache was an extremely disapproving mouth until I looked closer.

IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes · 9 months

so old it just turned one of my ball hairs grey when i clicked on it.

KoulMomo · 9 months

Except, in todays world, you'd probably be: pepper sprayed, tazed, have drugs planted on you, and finally, indefinitely detained.

cesarthemurderbear · 9 months

I get that this is an old-timey joke, but I guarantee you the second you mentioned anything about a dead body the cop would get out his gun and demand that you exit the vehicle. It's like joking about a bomb at the airport, just don't do it.

EchoKrome · 9 months

I'm waiting for somebody to come along and [FIX] this by making the guy getting pulled over black. Then having the cops plant drugs in his car. I'm probably going to hell.

DoritosMan · 9 months

More like How to repost

adamhong · 9 months

OP better bail me out of jail when i try this -.-

NovaNexu · 9 months

Easier for you if you're black, and the cop is white.

Capncanuck0 · 9 months

As the police chief looks around and then spears you with his billy club for insulance.

n777athan · 9 months

how to end up in jail....

HikaruDigi · 9 months

How to get shot!

lightspeed23 · 9 months

This could work in Africa.

lovemyusername · 9 months

this gets me out of speeding tickets

AgentDaedalus · 9 months

You forgot to show the part where you get tazered and cuff'd.

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