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all 155 comments

[–]coldpants 217 points218 points ago

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Henry and Timmy met very early on in life. The perfect pair, they would spend every waking moment together, Henry telling Timmy his stories from the sky, Timmy explaining to Henry the wonders of the sea. This went on for many months, but slowly Henry and Timmy grew sad that their best friend would never experience the wonders of their world.

One day, Henry had an idea. He could carry Timmy in his powerful claws across the great sky, showing him the magnificent land that was his home. Timmy was scared of this idea, for he had never been on land before, and had heard rumors from his other fish friends that land was not a place for his kind to see. But Henry was insistent, and Timmy didn't want to disappoint his best friend. On a clear Tuesday morning, they decided it was time for Timmy to see the world.

As Henry lifted Timmy out of the water and flew up into the sky, the sight Timmy saw was so beautiful that it took his breath away. He hadn't imagined something this beautiful, and immediately understood why Henry wanted him to see his land. What a great friend!

"What do you think of my land?" Henry asked.

"I love it, it's beau- " Timmy tried to respond, but realized that he could not speak.

"I -" Timmy tried to say again, but this was no place for a fish. "I can't breath!" he wanted to say, but Henry only looked confused because his little fish friend was not responding.

"Help me! Help me!" Thought Timmy, but he could not speak.

It had been over two minutes now, and Timmy had not responded. Henry became disappointed. Perhaps his land was not as spectacular as he had believed; perhaps Timmy was right. Crushed, Henry flew back to the shore where they met everyday, and dropped Timmy back into the water. Timmy laid in the water, refusing to talk to Henry - refusing to move even.

"What's wrong?" Henry asked. Had he done something wrong? Was Timmy mad at him?

"Timmy are you mad at me?" Henry asked. But Timmy did not respond.

Henry waited with his friend for many hours, hoping that sometime soon Timmy would no longer be upset with him and they could talk again. Eventually it grew dark, and Henry wished Timmy goodnight, promising to return in the morning. Still Timmy did not respond, and sadly Henry flew back home to his family.

The next day, Henry woke up early, sure that his friend would be waiting for him, the previous day forgotten, and they would be best friends again. Yet Timmy was not there, and while Henry waited all day for his friend to show up, to forgive him for what he had done, Timmy never arrived.

For the next 30 days, Henry waited by the shore from dawn till dusk, and still his friend did not arrive. On the night of the 30th day, Henry told himself it was time to move on. Timmy had made other friends.

[–][deleted] 55 points56 points ago

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I was waiting for the part where Henry decides to give Timmy mouth-to-mouth resuscitation before slowly realizing that Timmy is fucking delicious and then eating his face.

[–]telegrams 20 points21 points ago

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;___;

[–]econometrician 11 points12 points ago

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Please, consider writing children's books.

Note: By which I mean this was quite endearing.

[–]TumbleDryLow 10 points11 points ago

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Still a better love story than Twilight.

(But really, this was actually entertaining to read)

[–]Rcp_43b 5 points6 points ago*

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I came for a valiant attempt at a witty, and hopefully mildly humorous, comment; I now realize I am a failure since I will never have a comment as funny and well thought out as this^

**edited for shitty grammar.

[–]defnite 4 points5 points ago

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I need to eat some vitamins or something... Suddenly my eyes are all soggy.

[–]das7002 9 points10 points ago

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You deserve far more up votes then you got for this. I'd change the ending a bit but other then that it was quite a nice read.

[–]coldpants 7 points8 points ago

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Appreciate it man. I also agree, I didn't plan on writing this much and just wanted to end it at that point.

[–]WannaBeProdigy 2 points3 points ago

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Wtf man, that fish was mean, didn't he see how much the bird cared for him? That's what happens when you start to hang with the wrong school.

[–]jon62ski 0 points1 point ago

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I thought it was rather fishy myself.

[–]WannaBeProdigy 0 points1 point ago

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I hope your attempt to start a pun thread doesn't get floundered.

[–]s4ms3milia 2 points3 points ago

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Never ever could I tell such a wonderful story.

[–]StepOfDub 2 points3 points ago

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i got something in my eye...

[–]TruthAlone 1 point2 points ago

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That's...wipes tear...that's beautiful, man.

weeps continuously

[–]wfarighi[S] 1 point2 points ago

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... I shed a tear, or two.

[–]FormalWhale 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Randyh524 3 points4 points ago

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You wrote all that for 3 up votes... 4 with mine.

[–]Differlot 0 points1 point ago

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Please edit this and give an epilogue.

[–]herenseti -1 points0 points ago

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that was beautiful bro

[–]7nights 29 points30 points ago

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http://imgur.com/NbUUW

All of you are sorely mistaken.

[–]InfamyDeferred 9 points10 points ago

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♫ Rocket fish, burning off his scales up here with hawks...

[–]reelbigfish0123 2 points3 points ago

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Real laughter produced. Thank you so much for this comment.

[–]meditonsin 5 points6 points ago

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Eagle twenty, fish two!

[–]wallaceofspades 23 points24 points ago

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Disney, this would make for an excellent film.

[–]jacKofKats 15 points16 points ago

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They'd be able to finally use those fish-eye lenses they bought back in 2003.

[–]Jagoofy 5 points6 points ago

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The main character, Marlin, met his beautiful wife named....

[–]jacKofKats 6 points7 points ago

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Barracuda... A fiery redhead from the Spanish main, daughter of...

[–]macdaddypierce 10 points11 points ago

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Maria Teresa García Ramírez de Arroyo and Juan Martínez Villanueva Escudero de Arroyo, King and Queen of..

[–]wfarighi[S] 6 points7 points ago

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the 5th realm in the world of dreams, where...

[–]Misacorp 4 points5 points ago

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an evil prince is preparing his...

[–]ploxination 5 points6 points ago

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Axe.

[–]d4v3m4n 2 points3 points ago

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Things go horribly wrong though, when Teng the eagle (voiced by Rob Schneider) kidnaps Barracuda to make her his next meal. Marlin must then...

[–]shigal777 2 points3 points ago

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perform in a traveling circus to meet his destination, where he meets new friends (also voiced by Rob Schneider), but he knows that....

[–]Brnny202 0 points1 point ago

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for his musical number, "

[–]Dapwell 4 points5 points ago

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Shining shimmering splendor...

[–]Staplerman3 5 points6 points ago

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Tell me princess have you ever let your heart decide...

[–]gavrok 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Whitewine 1 point2 points ago

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Over, sideways and under on a magic falcon ride

[–]olivermihoff 2 points3 points ago*

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Only if they left in the part where he eats the fish'es innards while he screams in pain, after an amazing musical/scenic "whole new world" aerial montage...

[–]justonecomment 1 point2 points ago

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Someone needs to draw Scuttle carrying Flounder like that.

[–]JABernz 1 point2 points ago

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Finding Nemo 2

[–]FireFight 10 points11 points ago

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Shining, shimmering, splendid.

Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?

[–]Havok310 5 points6 points ago

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I can open your eyes

Take you wonder by wonder

[–]FireFight 2 points3 points ago

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Over sideways and under

On a magic carpet ride

[–]Havok310 1 point2 points ago

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A whole new world

A new fantastic point of view

[–]Lorddragonfang 0 points1 point ago

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No one to tell us no Or where to go.

[–]Austin116 -1 points0 points ago

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I can open your thighs

FTFY.

[–]RarelyCoherent 35 points36 points ago

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Fish: "MY BRAIN IS FULL OF CLAW."

[–]scumbag-reddit 0 points1 point ago

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That fish is a carp. Carps are gross. Gross things don't have brains, like Snookis. Logic=sound.

[–]BrainInAJar 0 points1 point ago

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That fish is a carp

so,

Fish: "CARPCARPCARPCARPCARP"

[–]RarelyCoherent 0 points1 point ago

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Can't argue with that. :D

[–]swimviking 7 points8 points ago

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I once saw a salmon kill an eagle. started kind of like this, but the fish fought hard enough that the bird got it's wings too wet and lost. not kidding. watched for about ten minutes from on deck of a crabber. damn big fish and probably can't count it as a win since I am sure they both died there. I have no idea why the bird didn't just let go. Maybe had talons caught between the ribs somehow.
it was wild.

[–]Gnomie86 1 point2 points ago

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Apparently their claws can get jammed somehow. I once saw a video of an eagle which landed on the back of a whale which was surfacing, and then the whale dived. When it surfaced again the eagle was still there, bit obviously dead. :(

[–]Eylradius 7 points8 points ago

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:O << face of fish

[–]Leighther 1 point2 points ago

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ö

[–]tomasziam 2 points3 points ago

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Shining shimmering splendor.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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*splendid

[–]tomasziam 1 point2 points ago

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Whoops! Hit me with your fap sock!

[–]mrjderp 9 points10 points ago

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[–]bholzer 16 points17 points ago

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It looks like the squirrel was hanging with some buddies. They came across this falcon and he was like "dude, get a picture with my head in his talon"

[–]Mikebenitez10 4 points5 points ago

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All I heard was the Aladdin song...

[–]BrendyBoiz 2 points3 points ago

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Anyone else see the Pratchett reference?

[–]MattyDubNV 0 points1 point ago

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Came here to say that - Last Hero, as illustrated by Kidby.

[–]Dovakhim 3 points4 points ago

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that my friend, is a surfing bird.

[–]GiggityGiggidy 1 point2 points ago

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WELL EVERYBODY SAYS, ABOUT THE BIRD

[–]Dovakhim 0 points1 point ago

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[–]wtfking 0 points1 point ago

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someone should add a wave in the background

[–]BenDunno 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Incredible_Mandible 1 point2 points ago

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The look on the fish's face is priceless.. of course, I guess that's a fish's default expression.

[–]BATMAN-cucumbers 1 point2 points ago

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Having a MOTHERFUCKING CLAW IN YOUR BRAIN may be a factor as well...

[–]Stormdancer 1 point2 points ago

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I can see my house from here!

[–]neonskimmer 0 points1 point ago

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o/~ I'm on a whale trail... o/~

[–]thetribute 1 point2 points ago

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With a claw 2 inches in its brain haha.

[–]MadMonk67 1 point2 points ago

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Get your talon outta my skull!

[–]crustalmighty 1 point2 points ago

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♫ ♪ ♫ Hold your breath, it gets better... ♪ ♫ ♪

[–]S0urDiesel 1 point2 points ago

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Carpe Diem...

[–]SonnyBurnette 1 point2 points ago

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Came here to say this.

[–]SoftLove 1 point2 points ago

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The fish's? fishes? feesh? The face expression is great.

[–]IdolRevolver 1 point2 points ago

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Fish's.

[–]mjc1027 0 points1 point ago

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It's a trap.

[–]akav0id 0 points1 point ago

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..but first, lets do lunch

[–]Snowdream 0 points1 point ago

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[–]turkishgamer 0 points1 point ago

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...And then the afterworld.

[–]caveman8000 0 points1 point ago

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Angry Birds add-on?

[–]ChazHollywood 0 points1 point ago

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Gross, carp.

[–]zyocks 0 points1 point ago

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[–]midwestpaintball 0 points1 point ago

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thank god something is eating the asian carp

[–]gryphongod 0 points1 point ago

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Great...now I'll be humming that all day.

[–]ahwitz 0 points1 point ago

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magic carp-et ride?

[–]phish3rman 0 points1 point ago

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haha that fish is FUCKED

[–]snap_wilson 0 points1 point ago

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The world is currently making it's way through my intestinal tract. Have a look!

[–]GoldXP 0 points1 point ago

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shinning shimmering splendid

[–]Jovian8 0 points1 point ago

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Definitely loled at that one.

[–]boozles 0 points1 point ago

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I need this in high res. ASAP. Mission critical for 1-upping a coworker in our standing best wallpaper contest.

[–]TheJD 0 points1 point ago

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Fish: Oh my GOD! Eagle: I said don't look down!

[–]flatxbread 0 points1 point ago

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do you trust me?

[–]Birdhouselol 0 points1 point ago

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How many of you read the words as if you we're singing the song.

[–]Havok310 0 points1 point ago

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I can show you the world

Shining, shimmering, splendid

[–]walsh303 0 points1 point ago

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Ospreys are dope

[–]callumgg 0 points1 point ago

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[–]gahgeer 0 points1 point ago

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Fish: Woah dude!

[–]CeeBmata 0 points1 point ago

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... Shining shimmering Scales! Tell me delicious fish! Whaaat is your heart desire! TOO FEED MY HATCHLINGS?!?

eagle victory scream!

[–]notaneggspert 0 points1 point ago

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Though the eyes of my eaglets

[–]mungchamp 0 points1 point ago

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Hawkward!

[–]bornTobyWild 0 points1 point ago

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yeeeaaaah,carp that fucking diem baby....

[–]Athene_Wins 0 points1 point ago

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"Oooooooooooooooooooh!", said the fish.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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your friend is obviously having a splendid time! Just look at the awe in his face! WHen hes way up there, its crystal clear. There are Unbelievable sights and an Indescribable feeling

[–]hugeposuer 0 points1 point ago

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Travel! Change! Excitement! Ah ha ha!

[–]GilChesterton 0 points1 point ago

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The missed opportunity to quote "Ulysses" makes me sad.

[–]schneidmaster 0 points1 point ago

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And today, this title proves once again why commas are awesome.

[–]tiburocin 0 points1 point ago

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Oh Catatafish, you so fly. Lemiwinks would be jealous.

[–]WannaBeProdigy 0 points1 point ago

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This fish HAD a New Years resolution...

[–]kthanxbai 0 points1 point ago

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Magic carp-et ride.

[–]Fun-Cooker 0 points1 point ago

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I brought you a delicious bass!

[–]TehScrumpy 0 points1 point ago

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That song is now in my head. I feel like an arabian princess.

[–]Toxicratman 0 points1 point ago

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Showed her the world. Fishes love the world

[–]jxj24 0 points1 point ago

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Bird show fish world.

Fish show bird O-face.

Everybody happy win.

[–]superdarkness 0 points1 point ago

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Did you see the URL? ZWOwW!

[–]mitchmatch1 0 points1 point ago

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That fish looks pretty fuckin excited:

:O

[–]zeronine7 0 points1 point ago

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poor sucker...

[–]FishWash 0 points1 point ago

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Hey guys, I just watched the Whole New World scene from Aladdin again, and I noticed that Aladdin gives Jasmine an apple, which she seriously could've gotten while walking. But then I started thinking...is the whole thing like biblical allusion? Like the entire whole new world, open your eyes thing? Cause if it is, then that's like a total mindsplosion.

[–]AJistheGreatest 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously?... Seriously?

[–]IAmASeaLions 0 points1 point ago

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repost of a repost *>of a repost

[–]riversofgore 0 points1 point ago

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Yes. I sang the song from Aladdin after seeing.this.

[–]SirNiglet 0 points1 point ago

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Shining shimmering splendid! Faggot nigger hitler.

[–]saucepanicus 0 points1 point ago

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"... until i poop out your eyeball" - bird

[–]Vertigo666 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]leedorham -3 points-2 points ago

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An eagle swooped down and swallowed a mouse whole. The eagle then flew up and began soaring higher and higher. The mouse worked it's way through the eagle, still alive, and poked it's head out of the eagle's ass. "Hey Mr. Eagle?" The mouse said "How high up are we?" "About 10,000 feet I suppose." The eagle replied. "Really?" The mouse said, a bit worried. "You wouldn't shit me, would you?"

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]kolr 0 points1 point ago

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Carpe Carpum

FTFY

[–]BloodyPancakeSyrup -1 points0 points ago

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Taken from 4chan. Like everything else on Reddit.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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Someone tell me. Why the fuck is this NOT on the front page? Funniest pic all week....

[–]princess_shami -2 points-1 points ago

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that fish is like