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all 164 comments

[–]Snyth117 168 points169 points ago

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I wonder what happens when I google "boobs".

[–]jumblebutt 132 points133 points ago

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googles "lady parts"

[–]randomhero98 23 points24 points ago

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I googled "sex in bed" when i was 10

[–]TheOnlyNeb 19 points20 points ago

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You little rascal!

[–]toastedipod 38 points39 points ago

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For my first time I googled "pawn"and wondered why I didn't see any naked ladies... true story.

[–]elementus 20 points21 points ago

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You obviously should have googled prawn.

[–]SnacklePop 52 points53 points ago

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...fookin prawns.

...I am ashamed of myself.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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I went on a date with a British guy and he mentioned something about a pawn shop... I was surprised he was being so forward about his pornography habits on our first date.

[–]randombitch 6 points7 points ago

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Forty years ago, I moved from New York to Boston when I was eight. I already new how to spell regular words well. But I kept meeting new people and it took me awhile to realize that I was completely misinterpreting what their names were.

We didn't have any true pawn stahs then, but I can see the dilemma. These are not words that one would see spelled out at school, church or home. These are words that you would only hear.

[–]AspectOf -1 points0 points ago

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These are not words that one would see spelled out at school

If any word you could ever possibly want to spell, isn't being made available to you through your education system, you've got yourself a fundamentally flawed education system.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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yeah, my Porn teacher was awesome.

also, I fucked her.

[–]funkbitch 0 points1 point ago

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So you expect schools to teach children how to spells swears, racial slurs, and graphic, sexual words? Get your head out of your ass.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]funkbitch 1 point2 points ago

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[–]AspectOf 0 points1 point ago

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I expect schools to teach children how to use dictionaries, and I expect dictionaries to include whatever words exist in a language, that being pretty much the role of 'dictionaries'.

If you think we should sensor dictionaries to exclude the spellings and meanings of words that might offend anyone's sensibilities in any way whatsoever I suggest you get your head out of your ass as this is a profoundly stupid line of thought.

[–]funkbitch 0 points1 point ago

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When you said 'made available to you through your education system,' I took it as 'explicitly taught by the education system.'

If what you meant was that students should have access and the knowledge to use dictionaries that contain every word in a given language, inflammatory or otherwise, then yes, I agree with you.

By the way, all schools have access to dictionaries and every student is taught how to use them (in my experience at least).

[–]Coheed566 0 points1 point ago

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I'll pawn it off on improper teachedness.

[–]DJBJ 21 points22 points ago

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I googled "Naked Women"

[–]Battletooth 16 points17 points ago

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I looked up "lady pieces" my first time.

That's when I saw the dark side of the Internet. :-[

[–]CrazedToCraze 9 points10 points ago

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... I've been reading Reddit too much, I should not have understood that reference.

[–]Kingmezs23 6 points7 points ago

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Was feelin the same way when i read that.

[–]epicGOPfail 15 points16 points ago

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in all the sexcitement, ends up googling bobs

[–]danman11 9 points10 points ago

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"Vagina" Ahhhhhh!

[–]ForeverMarried 3 points4 points ago

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I immediately got a notepad then sat down and thought of every single website I know of to write down so I didn't forget. I thought of 3 total.. 2 of them were news websites and the other 1 was G-String Divas... Thanks HBO. Too bad their website had no nudity at the time. I checked.

[–]Deckard240 1 point2 points ago

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That show sucked.

[–]slayer8a 70 points71 points ago

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I've never met any of the women in my area who want to have sex with me (no car) but I do seem to have impeccable timing when surfing the internet. I've lost count how many times I was the one/millionth visitor.

[–]AmIKawaiiUguuu 6 points7 points ago

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Yeah well, I don't have a boat and googlemaps say they are in the ocean so, sucks to be me.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]shiverwulf 3 points4 points ago

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I think the word you were looking for was 'of'.

[–]youngmonk 1 point2 points ago

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What did he say.. What did he say..

[–]shiverwulf 1 point2 points ago

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I'm going to do the impossible.

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU.

I forget the exact wording as it's 6am on New Years Day and I drank heavily, but it was 'maybe if you left the house more you'd find a woman who'd have sex with you'.

[–]I_Post_Boobs 85 points86 points ago

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Usually a kid would look something up along these lines.

NSFW

[–]epicGOPfail 44 points45 points ago

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omg, bobs!

[–]Kingmezs23 -1 points0 points ago

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Read your first comment, laughed. Read this comment, laughed so hard i almost choked.

[–]epicGOPfail -1 points0 points ago

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i felt guilty and giddy at the same time, thus feeling you ought to be somehow compensated. by me. upvote :)

[–]Kingmezs23 0 points1 point ago

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Now i feel like a good guy. This rush ov emotions is making my heart grow 3 sizes, or im having a heart attach...

[–]epicGOPfail 0 points1 point ago

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could be just gas.

[–]ArtVandelayInd -1 points0 points ago

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Better watch out. Those heart attaches can be deadly.

[–]Buckwyld1986 13 points14 points ago

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He does.

[–]jiwa 4 points5 points ago

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right click, save image as..

[–]MinisterOfTheDog 4 points5 points ago

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I like them. Very much.

[–]anacrolix 2 points3 points ago

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i assume you're suggesting that this would be the result of naive boob searching?

[–]Zomgwtf_Leetsauce 3 points4 points ago

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Not just kids :D

[–]Dr_Adopted 0 points1 point ago

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I do too.

[–]giovannibryden 23 points24 points ago

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...and another wants to strike up a conversation over chat. The internet is so friendly!

[–]DrJarp 14 points15 points ago

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They are everywhere! Naked girls for everyone!

points to the crowd You get one! YOU get one! YOU get one! Aaand YOU get one!

[–]sonicice 16 points17 points ago

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Kids' actual first day on the internet: http://i.imgur.com/CMfL5.jpg

[–]Seenbo 31 points32 points ago

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my first time on the internet:

"wow i'm really the 1.000.000 visitor,I WON A CAR"

I now understand why my brother laught so hard at me.

[–]CIRE43709 5 points6 points ago

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:( I was suckered in by "You have won a free Playstation Two!"

[–]kcouture 28 points29 points ago

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And about 5 minutes later that hand creates the same motion, just a little south of there.

[–]goonie_goo_goo 12 points13 points ago

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Interesting enough, it's the same as our fathers' first day on the internet.

[–]I_CATS 10 points11 points ago

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Three american women who want to fuck me just happen to live in my northern european home town. Wow, what are the odds?

[–]MikeBruski 8 points9 points ago

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it's always funny to see incoming "FB chats" from some "local" chicks writing in English, with avatars of huge black mamas and names like Miami'sBitch22 or SexyCaliChick03 while Im surfing the web while traveling in Ukraine or Romania....

Seems legit.

[–]kryters 7 points8 points ago

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This reminds me of a blog post by Scottish comedian Iain Connell: Three women in Renfrew want to fuck you.

I used to have a connection which, when tracked by IP address, made me appear somewhere in Milton Keynes - a good 300 miles away from my location. I always thought the internet was a cruel beast telling me of this den of amorous women in a land so far away.

I visited MK recently. It's mainly just roundabouts.

[–]mikkymikkymik 8 points9 points ago

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"holy shit! I am the 100,000th visitor and I won a prize!"

[–]AmIKawaiiUguuu 11 points12 points ago

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"He called me bro and said my story was cool!!"

[–]MrAwesume 2 points3 points ago

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Oh God I was such an idiot.

[–]Darth_Phrakk 4 points5 points ago

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I never fell for those, my mother on the other hand...I've gotten phone calls from her just about those.

[–]MrAwesume 17 points18 points ago

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I was 9, and my family was on the lower end of the rich spectrum.

I was a naive kid, and honestly I thought it was the break we needed...lol...

[–]Darth_Phrakk 14 points15 points ago

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Well that's just sweet. Whoever makes those ads should be ashamed.

[–]yomyex 22 points23 points ago

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This is very similar to the Lonely Computer Guy meme.

[–]ilikecommunitylots 9 points10 points ago

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it's the exact same thing

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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I prefer that one's expression. Cracks me up every time no matter the caption.

[–]a_red_crayola 2 points3 points ago

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[–]dbonham 0 points1 point ago

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No I brought it over from 4chan like the day it was first posted, I thought it should be called Internet New Guy but I didn't register it on quickmeme or anything

[–]Deckard240 -2 points-1 points ago

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You're very similar to a wet towel.

[–]thatbrazilian 4 points5 points ago

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Today's kid: Adblock plus= no sexy woman in your hometown

[–]sprankton 1 point2 points ago

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It's more fun with a proxy. One time I had an ad say there were sexy women in Helsinki that wanted to fuck me. I should have screened that...or moved to Finland.

[–]Noktan 10 points11 points ago

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[–]Ali_2m 18 points19 points ago

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Admit it, redditors. Who believed this as a kid?

[–]Daddelfar 37 points38 points ago

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I don't remember getting these back then. I only remember tons of pop-ups with even nastier porn popping up. I then masturbated to the pop-ups.

[–]Thilo-Costanza 6 points7 points ago

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I only remember pornsites to be starting page of ie (yes, ie) and not knowing how to get them to be blank again.

[–]Daddelfar 6 points7 points ago

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Haha yes eventually I got that too :D "NO MUM I CN EXPLAIN!!"

[–]Thilo-Costanza 6 points7 points ago

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Haha, i called my brother: "Uhm some friend of mine…"

[–]ressMox 4 points5 points ago

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Or your first experience doth spyware makes the desktop a picture of a naked chick, "It happened by itself, I swear!"

[–]papajohn56 16 points17 points ago

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Not all of us were born in 1995 you fuckers.

[–]originaladam 3 points4 points ago

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Lync

ATDT 4015555555

Listen to pretty sounds of machines chatting and shaking hands

Wait 5 minutes for BBS to load

20 minutes later navigate to porn directory

20 more minutes and first pic is almost done loading

parents get pissed for tying up only phone line for hours

1200 baud forever!

[–]Kingmezs23 1 point2 points ago

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I was, and never believed it. Pick a more recent year.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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back in my day there REALLY WAS no such thing as free porn

[–]AriBBCP 2 points3 points ago

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having an internet connection costs money

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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not when you're 13

[–]AriBBCP 0 points1 point ago

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fair enough

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points ago

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fap ALL the things

[–]papajohn56 1 point2 points ago

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Remember dialers?

[–]Daddelfar 0 points1 point ago

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Haha I almost forgot, 99 % of my porn adventures were previews - the last percent was full-lenght but bundled with virus. Totally worth it, my mums computer was shit anyways.

[–]iamnotatroll 1 point2 points ago

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As a college kid. And my thought was: oh hey, I've seen that girl around campus. Then I started to notice the same girl showed up at home with my hometown name. Got suspicious.

[–]alienswede 0 points1 point ago

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When I got on the internet th ese ads didn't exist. There weren't even any popups. I remember that one of the first betas of Netscape had just been released... It took me weeks to find any porn!

[–]gnufender 5 points6 points ago*

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And then he searches "naked womman" in youtube..i know i did

[–]me_gusta_salsa 5 points6 points ago

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what is this livejasmin?

[–]Cynical_Lurker 10 points11 points ago*

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Does anyone actually press these adds? Where do they go? and how the hell do they make money off them?

[–]papajohn56 5 points6 points ago

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of course they do, if nobody clicked them, why would they keep running them? they go to dating sites like Adultfriendfinder

[–]lacrossemanlol 3 points4 points ago

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Enter your credit card information here

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You'll win a free PS2 if you fill in the cell phone number of you and three of your friends.

[–]ArcticBro 4 points5 points ago

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And thus starts the life-long fire.

[–]27yearold 2 points3 points ago

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those fucking browser pop ups that you can't close or that used a message box and moved out of the view. Aweful!! And then you close the browser completely finally, and you still have pop-ups. I've learned a lot about computer security and cleaning browser data.

[–]ForeverMarried 2 points3 points ago

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I actually remember my first day of the internet. Around 1997 I clicked an ad banner that said "Congratulations! You won $20!!!" I was so excited that I went and told my mom. I expected it to show up to my door, but it never did. Oh well.

[–]medsoc 1 point2 points ago

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There's a town in South Dakata with population 2, and it's a couple. I wonder if he ever gets that ad.

[–]mikehayek 4 points5 points ago

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I remember being over a friends house at the age of 12, we tried browsing for porn, my friend left his speakers on, suddenly a video popped up with a woman screaming "I LOVE THAT NIGGER DICK!" The next thing we heard was his mother running into the room asking wtf that was and were told to go home.

:(

[–]Timbo2702 2 points3 points ago

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I read that as "3 women in my home want to have sex with me" >_<

[–]tomatobob 0 points1 point ago

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I just had to check to make sure it didn't.

[–]Kmartrules 1 point2 points ago

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I remember when I was really young I googled "tits". I got random porn popups for weeks and when my mum asked what it was I just shrugged.

[–]PackOfWildCorgis 1 point2 points ago

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Dubstep on laptop speakers.

[–]Cr0NiX 0 points1 point ago

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2 speakers and a subwoofer master race!

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I remember back in the day of IE4, as well as the AOL browser, when the Internet was crammed full of pop-ups, pop-unders, and sound ads, and flash ads that would load before the actual web content which took forever because you were on dial-up.

The Internet has become so much nicer now that most legitimate sites don't do this anymore. And for those sites still traped in the 90's world of intrusive advertising, we've got things such as ad-blocks and NoScript which do a good job stopping pop-ups and pop-unders that bypass the pop-up blocker.

[–]Djirish 1 point2 points ago

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This is exactly like the net noob meme except with a little kid.

[–]alienginger 1 point2 points ago

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you mean 3 girls dont want to have sex with me...

[–]sprankton 1 point2 points ago

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There are exactly three girls that want to have sex with you. One is in Burma, one is in Sri Lanka, and the last is a member of an isolated tribe in the Amazon rain forest. Good luck and godspeed!

[–]threeghosts 3 points4 points ago

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I am 12 and what is this?

[–]Leichenschrei 2 points3 points ago

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Imagine if it was a little girl in the picture, smiling and saying "3 men in my home town want to have sex with me!"

[–]T1dom 1 point2 points ago

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OK, I'm imagining that: Now what are you wearing right now?

[–]Leichenschrei 1 point2 points ago

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Pink panties.

[–]Epsilon123 4 points5 points ago

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Please let this get to the front page.

[–]Space_Bungalow[S] 13 points14 points ago

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Boy, wouldn't that be spiffy

[–]blunatic 0 points1 point ago

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Is this Stifler's little brother from the first American Pie?

[–]ThrownAwayUsername 0 points1 point ago

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[–]coffeetablesex 0 points1 point ago

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WTF? Those USB ports are sideways...

[–]Sharkinu 0 points1 point ago

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I actually came here to ask if anyone know the manufacturer of that laptop. I like those USB ports.

[–]ohhhyeahhh 0 points1 point ago

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I remember my very first search on the internet at home with CompuServe I searched for "toilets" I was amazed.

[–]amish_man 0 points1 point ago

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Damn modern internet corrupting the soul of this you boy :(

[–]sifarat 0 points1 point ago

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Welcome to the Internet kid. Stay safe.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ronnygunz 0 points1 point ago

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I have this laptop, too. It's a Lenovo 3000. Someone gave it to me when they dropped it and broke the LCD. I upgraded the LCD to the 1680x1050 display, installed 4 gigs of ram, put in a 500 gig 7200 rpm hard drive and found a 7300 core 2 duo to install in it. All in all, maybe $150 bucks out of my pocket.

The battery life isn't awful and after all was said and done, it's not a bad machine but I couldn't imagine why anyone would have wanted to use this thing in the stock configuration because it was slower than old people fuck.

[–]LettersFromTheSky 0 points1 point ago

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As if all kids are male

[–]ZML09 0 points1 point ago

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What's this "Redtube"?

[–]grigorescu 0 points1 point ago

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I believe you mean "near my hometown or some other random location."

[–]chunkybearcub137 0 points1 point ago

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How old is this kid, 14? Most kids are these days are on the internet by the time they're 8

[–]Aeuthentic 0 points1 point ago

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That kid looks 9-10 years old

[–]ShinyPichu 0 points1 point ago

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I started when I was 5. o.e

[–]Cronoadvan 0 points1 point ago

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You raff you ruse

[–]naturalszinc 0 points1 point ago

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HAHA thats true indeed :)

[–]Floyd_Pinkerton 0 points1 point ago

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yayyy

[–]ihearthat 0 points1 point ago

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In keyboarding class this girl got a pop up that she won something and to call a number. People around us told her that was cool and to call it. We were being sarcastic and then realized she seemed serious. This was in highschool.

[–]seafood10 0 points1 point ago

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I laughed HARD at this one.....just the look on that kids face

[–]fishfunk5 0 points1 point ago

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Only three?!?!

[–]neren 0 points1 point ago

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Three women in

MY HOMETOWN

want to have sex.

[–]felix1429 0 points1 point ago

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He looks like he's trying not to cry...

[–]spysspy 0 points1 point ago

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everyone thinks they are fake , that's how I get laid every day.

[–]croatian007 0 points1 point ago

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I have the same laptop, yes that shit is old..

[–]Airazz 0 points1 point ago

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Come on, there already was an Internet Guy meme. All these jokes are exactly the same, only the picture is slightly different.

[–]Stonebriar 0 points1 point ago

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Ha my first time i googled " Necked Girls"

[–]alxwrght 0 points1 point ago

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man I have the same computer as that kid

[–]sayITwitYOchest 0 points1 point ago

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Is he Amish?

[–]Vert1go 0 points1 point ago

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Am I the only one who hears he going "yessssss"

[–]BShears 0 points1 point ago

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judging by the age of that laptop, that kid is in his mid-to late twenties now.

[–]Jesse-Ray 0 points1 point ago

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I lived in a regional town where everyone literally knew everyone. My confused expression when I first saw that three mysterious women wanted to statutorily rape me would have been priceless.

[–]Alarmin 0 points1 point ago

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I like where this meme is going

[–]redshiftmoose 0 points1 point ago

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Mine was more like, "Aw sweet! 1,000 neopoints from just one flash game!"

[–]Porjin 0 points1 point ago

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This should be posted in /r/AdviceAnimals (as stated to the right -->).

[–]severychick 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, so spoiled.

[–]_vjay_ -1 points0 points ago

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My son tried to google "naked nurse hospital" on his first unsupervised visit to the internet, he was then subsequently caught out by his younger sister who saw it on the computer and ran out to inform me what he was doing. That was the one and only time he had unsupervised internet for the next 4 years.

First rule of being sneaky, don't do it where someone can see you. Especially not younger siblings...

Problem is, he would probably be like that kid in the picture now even though he is a few years older than that.

He is pretty naive.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That kid needs to stop looking like Tom Brady.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Why are you complaining about people complaining? So Brave!

[–]herrokan -1 points0 points ago

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mah first time was "tits" or "breats" not sure

[–]majikstranger -2 points-1 points ago

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I have seen things on the internet that i dont know how my soul will be saved. I have witnessed and lusted at pictures of woman where there ankles are showin and to make it worse some where married woman. I watch cooking shows and covet those wives. I imagine they are cooking for me in my kitchen. Can you imagine the shame. The only thing that saved me from these sinful temptations on the internet was when i took an arrow to the knee. Im recovering now, thanks for listening.