this post was submitted on
1,060 points (54% like it)
6,375 up votes 5,315 down votes

funny

subscribe2,688,904 readers

12,600 users here now

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 87 comments

[–][deleted] 61 points62 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hairless cats are weird as fuck, like little scrotums with arms legs tails and a cat's face. They freak me out but at the same time I want to feel their weird little bodies, rub that wrinkly skin all over my face until they scratch me with their idiot claws.

[–]stokleplinger 24 points25 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They make for terrible pets, as well.. We had one for almost a year and it was the most vile, spoiled little rat I've ever had the displeasure of paying $300 for.

Despite the fact that they don't have hair, they still secrete oils... without the hair to disperse the oils, it just sloughs off onto fucking everything. The spot where she chose to lay ended up looking like a jheri curl slick. Plus, they don't have whatever drive normal cats have to maintain some semblance of hygiene, so it just got dirtier and dirtier.

After a year of that cat running our lives, slicking up every surface in our house and stinking to high heaven despite regular bathing, I finally lost my shit when that fucker dragged its feet through its own shit in its box and then preceded to climb across our couch, onto our side table and stick its shit-covered foot right into my fucking coffee.

We gave it to my wife's aunt and it has gained about 10 pounds in a year and now looks like a legged, NFL-size football.

The icing on the cake was that on the way to drop it off the aunt's house, the cat decided to take a diarrhea dump in my car... all over my wife's coat. Vile cat is lucky it didn't end up slicking up I-40.

[–]humangirltype 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They make for terrible pets

LIES ಠ_ಠ My kitty is the sweetest little flesh abomination you will ever meet

Plus, they don't have whatever drive normal cats have to maintain some semblance of hygiene, so it just got dirtier and dirtier.

Maybe for your cat. My sphynx keeps himself cleaner than the furry cats I know. And ew.. never makes oil spots, even when hes due for a bath.

[–]edtheoverlander 30 points31 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think stokeplinger was scammed and just bought a 300 dollar hairless rat.

[–]humangirltype 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wish I had more upvotes for you XD

[–]paranoidinfidel 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

They are also MSPaint masterminds

[–]stokleplinger 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It wouldn't surprise me, she was a total cunt. The aunt that owns her now literally wipes her ass every time it uses its litterbox.... No thanks.

[–]apcolleen 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

As a responsible pet owner you should have researched how to care for any pet you bring home with you. I am friends with several breeders and on all of their sites they tell you they DO require specific care. they arent just a random street cat. They are the result of a natural genetic mutation, so they cant just be left to their own devices. And they tend to be rather smart energetic cats who love attention. You cant just bathe them in pet store shampoo either. If you should be mad at anyone, be mad at the back yard breeder if they didnt tell you in advance or be mad at yourself for not investigating the breed.

[–]wonderdork 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Indeed. Five-ten minutes every week or two is all the time it takes to give them a bath. Mine actually enjoy it as they know they'll get a freeze dried chicken treat at the end of it. I'll take a bath a few times a month for them vs cat hair everywhere.
Plus their personality is awesome. They are cuddling/sleeping, eating or playing 24/7. Not stand offish like many cats. My sphynxes typically follow me around my house. Hell two of them even know how to play fetch. Amazing cats.

[–]apcolleen 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

many of the people I know often use coconut oil prior to cleaning them. It helps lift the dirt and makes them smell yummy. And some dont need to be cleaned often at all, and others are grease monkies

[–]stokleplinger 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

We did research on the breed prior to buying it, but true to the previous owner's description, this was the laziest, greediest, least affectionate cat I've ever seen. The thing was entirely content to lay under an electric blanket all day, only getting up to demand food. We tried playing, tried loving, tried everything... it was an entirely worthless animal, devoid of all redeeming qualities, other than being unbelievably ugly (in the good way) and for feeling like a giant, bony scrotum... We did our homework and gave that thing every chance in the book to return the favor, so save your loftier-than-thou attitude for someone else.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sounds like the cat learned from you. I wouldn't even dream to speak that way of my cats. ಠ_ಠ

[–]stokleplinger 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey, I tried, man... I'm leaving out about 364 days worth of stories that would detail the level of contempt this cat had for everything and everyone in this world. I didn't start out hating it with every fiber of my being, the cat drove me to that point.

[–]crunch816 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

300? You got one from the bargain bin. These are 2000-3000.

[–]throwhairless 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My wife hunted for a blue(?) hairless for a year, was about 2500 and we had to fly about 1800 miles to get it. 300 is very bargain bin.

[–]xavier47 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hairless cats are weird as fuck

agreed

[–]humangirltype 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Best part of rubbing your face on a sphynx? No nose full of kitty hair! They kind of feels like a suede hot water bottle. Also, they have cute little kitty belly buttons! I might be biased though, owning a well mannered and super sweet sphynx.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

do their nipples cause dismay though, shit like that freaks me out. creepy little cat nipples like buttons on a fancy jacket.

[–]humangirltype 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You know, I don't tend to find cat nipples alarming, but I can pretend I do just to have an excuse to use the sentence

creepy little cat nipples like buttons on a fancy jacket.

for this is the best fucking sentence evar

P.S. My cat objected to my lies about his nipples by farting on my.

[–]timmy2step 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Moker22 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Simpsons used to be great

[–]sdimaria13 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

at first i was like hey ya that is weird but then at the end i was just like wtf...

[–]LikeDays 78 points79 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

even I reposted this once

[–]KyleMC 26 points27 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this is my new favorite response to reposts

[–]Wanaquelito 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this is my new favorite response to reposts

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]Grizeldabowski 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know the rest. Please, do continue.

[–]StefanHectorPoseidon -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you're going to repost it some time, aren't you?

[–]GWEEDOspeedo 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The juggernaut will beat the shit out of Charles and then beat the shit out of you with Charles.

[–]CharlesAnonymousVII 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You can't harm me. Are you a fucking ass?

[–]Hagane17 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is a Dodge.

[–]zanhoshi 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Comb yo beard, I don't wanna hear that shit.

[–]Hagane17 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]ceehan 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My name is Charles. I thought this was directed at me.

[–]CharlesAnonymousVII 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, well guess what -- you're not the only person in the world named Charles, you asshole.

[–]ceehan 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You asshole.

[–]slid3r 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

asshole.

[–]Colostomy 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My legs hurt.

[–]Harold_Grundelson 18 points19 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Uma Therman Cat.

Puma Therman.

[–]Moker22 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Uma Purrman

[–]Rtem 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Exact source can't be found, but it's definitely from http://www.mischiefchampion.com and was made in 2009

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Rtem 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thats weird... The image shows up in 2009...

[–]Cringer 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is there an original source for this?

[–]chargeorge 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Anyone else named Charles go "What the fuck did I do?"

[–]DownvotesUrHistory 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

shut the FUCK up, charles.

[–]slid3r 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

asshole.

[–]Lecks 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Where did you go to school and what are some of your friends' names?

[–]KallistiEngel 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Could've been worse. This could have been another "Ryan" situation.

[–]ljdelight 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I guess... I just don't get it. However, I found this great picture of King Charles' Wig

[–]ThaddyG 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The humor springs from the absurdity of the situation rather than a definitive punchline. Nice picture.

[–]filthysize 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Shut up, Charles, I heard about your prescription socks.

[–]wonderdork 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have four sphynx cats and they are cool as fuck, look like little gremlins. Their personality is like a cat meets a dog meets a monkey... sounds odd but after spending a few hours with a sphynx or two you'd understand. I've grown up with all types of pets and I'll never have another pet other than sphynxs. Plus no hair on my clothes, win!

Here is Horton Hears A Who and Dexter Morgan attacking their bird toy. Naked Attack Kitties!

[–]humangirltype 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yaaay naked kitties! I only have one right now, wish I could have another as his companion. Meanwhile though he gets a lot of playtime in with one of my friend's furred babies :)

Do they all end up sleeping with you? Dorian (my sphynx) likes to curl up with me while I sleep hehe.

[–]wonderdork 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You mean like this? Reclining chairs, cat blanket and A Feast for Crows...aka My Life.

Yeah they sleep with us all time, in fact Dexter Morgan is laying on my legs as I write this. Always leeching my body heat. :) They are much more social than a fur kitty, it is in their DNA I guess, so hopefully you can get Dorian a friend or two soon.

[–]humangirltype 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Aaaawwww!! Precious! There's nothing better than being snuggled by kitties while reading, fershurr.

Did you get them all at the same age? I'm worried about him getting too old for it to be really beneficial before I can get another sphynx due to living arrangements. I do take him with me while I'm over at my best friend's house so thankfully he does get to spend a lot of time with Diesel (Furred friend) and they're about the same age so they get along really really well :D

[–]bkoch4 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Relevant (warning, weird cats)

[–]MamorysOrMaleMembers 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I hate cats

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My grandmother had three of these cats and i love them.

[–]lord_nougat 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Carnally!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Should have seen this coming i guess..

[–]organicfunk 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I read this in the juggernauts voice.

[–]snatchenvy 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

the way the text boxes go straight into their heads... creeps me out.

[–]Tre_64 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Reading this while picking up my cat from the groomer. She is getting a lion cut. For the sheer humor of it.

[–]sir_derpsalot 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

GET OUT OF MY HEAD, CHARLES

[–]ordinaryoddity 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]karatekid17 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was so happy when one of those bastards got shot in the beginning of that movie "The Book of Eli"...

and then he ate it.

I would have been happy with him just shooting it.

[–]crunch816 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Awesome. My aunt has one of these cats. Gonna print this a frame it for her b'day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]twfar 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ok. This is the work of mischiefchampion.com. I don't understand why someone would purposely crop the credit from image. Here is the proper link: http://www.mischiefchampion.com/style/p/2010/Aug/one_of_them

[–]bobyhey123 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

.gif

ಠ_ಠ

[–]Veyf 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nothing wrong with this being a gif at all. Due to its relatively low detail and small color palette its perhaps the best format for this image.

[–]bobyhey123 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No, I know. I was pointing out my fear of any static gif in case some scary shit pops up after 500 seconds.

[–]Veyf 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Press Esc.

Worry no more.

[–]Kashii 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you can give a .gif on imgur a .png extension and it'll still link to the gif. :'D

[–]twfar 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah. It is monochome. Gif is smaller than jpg. Problem?

[–]toast-is-bread-too -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

YUP, THAT WAS PRETTY FUCKING RANDOM.

[–]o0russell0o -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

RE: FWD: RE: RE: RE: FWD: LOL SIAMESE CAT JOKE!!!

[–]TheSoup07 -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

go back to tumblr

[–]HammerSpaceTime -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow, ~630 net upvotes and only ~13 comments as of this posting.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

WHY IS THIS A GIF?