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all 64 comments

[–]TreePockets 34 points35 points ago

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as a fat dude, it does....

[–]warriorofpie 8 points9 points ago

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Confirmed, especially pie.

-Fellow Fat guy

[–]MICHAELJFUX 2 points3 points ago

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Cinnabon doesnt help either. -Loyal Patron of the Cinnabon

[–]ShakeNBakey 6 points7 points ago

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Fat Faggot Treat FTFY

[–]Ribbley 4 points5 points ago

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I think this would get more upvotes if people knew it was Louis C.K.

And on that note...upvoted!

[–]random_multiplier 4 points5 points ago

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Everyone does know that's Louis CK. Quit being a faggot.

[–]Ribbley 0 points1 point ago

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Quit being a faggot and suck that guy's dick.

[–]fruitylips 28 points29 points ago

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When my son turned 4 a few months ago, we told him to make a wish and blow out his candles.

He got this weird look on his face and said, in a very serious tone, 'Daddy, I wish candy was good for you.' and blew out his candles.

[–]cuteman 7 points8 points ago

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Kids say the darndest things, yours might be a genius

[–]fruitylips 14 points15 points ago

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He got up on Christmas morning, looked at the stack of shit under the tree and said 'I'm still on the nice list? That is so weird!'.

It's going to be a long 14 more years...

[–][deleted] 30 points31 points ago

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I'll rub some cake on your boobs.

[–]zetrate 5 points6 points ago

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sloshing: The act of having sex using, with and amidst several of your favorite food groups. Safely, you must put down a shower curtain or similiar human/carpet barrier, and then enjoy a variety of puddings, cakes and similiar delicious edibles with your chosen mate.

source

[–]funnylulz 4 points5 points ago

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There should be novelty account for this.

[–]starthirteen 1 point2 points ago

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Relevant_Fetish where are you?

[–]Relevant_Fetish 2 points3 points ago

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You called?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Judging by her comment history, she is single, better get along with her mom though. Maybe you could try rubbing some cake on her mom's boobs first, oh and she may be under age you pedo.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ghostface134 2 points3 points ago

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hear hear! i have a glandular problem where that happens only with fat though

[–]avenx 6 points7 points ago*

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I'm a guy, and just by looking at me you'd think I'm really skinny, but everything goes straight to my butt and thighs. And sure there are plenty of girls who'd appreciate my metabolism, and I'm not complaining, because I can eat tons without gaining weight; it's just weird looking at myself naked in the mirror. I'm like a centaur, except the lower half of me is Kim Kardashian.

EDIT: Changed "wait" to "weight."

[–]bestbeforeMar91 14 points15 points ago

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Get pregnant and the tit fairy will visit.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 25 points26 points ago

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and usually ruin everything else in the process

[–]mnm039 0 points1 point ago

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Not necessarily...

[–]HuberSgoda 3 points4 points ago

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Technically, it can. It'll leave a bit of a mess, though.

[–]Only_Breakfastfoods 10 points11 points ago

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I like flat breasted women! Felt good to get that off my chest.

[–]Mintception 4 points5 points ago

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With you there, old chap.

[–]funyun2 5 points6 points ago

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I wish I could create a living female made out of cake, and when she eats cake it goes straight to her cake boobs and makes them bigger.

[–]MICHAELJFUX 2 points3 points ago

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[–]Vaknor 3 points4 points ago

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I wish I could create a living female made out of cake, and when I eat cake it goes straight to her cake boobs and makes them bigger.

FTFY

[–]one-eleven 7 points8 points ago

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so do we girls, so do we.

[–]TheSoup07 2 points3 points ago

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a friend of mine seems to think so, she once ate a shitton of nutella claiming that it would do exactly that

[–]madanb 5 points6 points ago*

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Your friend may need to sit in on an Anatomy and Physiology class. I think she may be mistaking her ass for her boobs. But hey, it's usually one or the other, right?

edit: spelling

[–]TheSoup07 1 point2 points ago

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hahah im usually looking at one or the other so i guess it balances out

[–]madanb 1 point2 points ago

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That's what I was going on too.

[–]shinako 5 points6 points ago

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I've seen women with fat boobs. Big, fat, droopy, veiny boobs that wrap all the way around into their back fat ಠ_ಠ I'd say I wish it became breast tissue, but I'm sure if you ate enough cake it would probably cause some kind of deformation. So just be happy with your flat chest and find someone else who is happy they've got someone who has any boobs at all and a comprehension of baking.

[–]Fingermyannulus 1 point2 points ago

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It did for Katy Perry.

[–]BillNyeSaysRelax 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Fingermyannulus 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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That could be arranged...

[–]driverdan 3 points4 points ago

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Reposted at least 5 times now.

[–]inthesouth 0 points1 point ago

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As a brilliant scientist I can make this happen, but I will need to see a baseline before I can invent your wish; for science of course. Oh, and provided you are legal.

[–]Number127 0 points1 point ago

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If it makes them dispense frosting, I'm on board.

[–]MICHAELJFUX 0 points1 point ago

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I wish fapping made my penis bigger.

[–]bookon 0 points1 point ago

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It does if you're a guy...

[–]apple_kicks 0 points1 point ago

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aaw i was hoping for a Skee Lo reference

[–]Hotgamer 0 points1 point ago

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Instead of my thighs.

[–]HEADLINE-IN-5-YEARS 0 points1 point ago

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BREAST ENHANCING CAKE BLAMED FOR INCREASED CANCER

[–]MrEngenz 0 points1 point ago

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Me too, sweetie. Me too.

[–]Pays4Porn 0 points1 point ago

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I do too.

[–]tomoom165 -1 points0 points ago

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[–]PieceBlaster -1 points0 points ago

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I wish my mouth went straight to what you're talkin bout

[–]LordDrow -1 points0 points ago

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And so do we..

[–]knowles42 -2 points-1 points ago

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so do i then you wouldnt be so flat chested