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967
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passive aggressive (monicksunleashed.files.wordpress.com)

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[–]cheez-man44 46 points47 points ago

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the LOL at the end made it for me. LOL

[–]letmepoint 9 points10 points ago

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Jesus knows it's funny.

[–]ss4ggtbbk 0 points1 point ago*

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I'll bet this is how stand-up comedy originated (except in this case the host sits while the audience freakin' stands). Idea: I should post this comment to r/atheism, that'll be some good karma whoring.

[–]wisenheimer 18 points19 points ago

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You don't know how close you came to the truth. In a different but relevant passage he exhorts his followers that if someone should hit you than you "turn the other cheek". Almost all the Christians have interpreted this as instructions to be a doormat. Theologians have a different interpretation as in a don't let the man bring ya down.

[–]JoeCoT 11 points12 points ago*

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Actually it's deeper than that.

But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.

You're right handed (in ancient times, everyone is right handed). To hit someone with your right hand on their right cheek, you are hitting them with the back of your hand. Then, as it is now, hitting with the back of your hand is how you hit an inferior. By turning the other cheek, you're not only saying "thank you sir, may I have another," you're also forcing them to hit you with the front of their hand, treating you as an equal.

And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.

If you give someone your coat and your cloak, you are naked. In Hebrew culture, if you see someone naked, it is you who are shamed, not them.

If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.

Roman soldiers would many times force the people they were occupying to carry their bags for a mile. It was done for the purposes of degrading their lessers. However, you could only make them do so for a mile. If the person wouldn't stop, what could you do? How do you explain to your superior that the person refused to stop being degraded? And if they beat you, it'll go even worse for soldier.

In other words, Jesus taught classic non-violent passive aggressive protest. So classic, he might've invented it. He taught how to undermine the system and the culture from within.

EDIT here's another more general comment long the same lines

[–]intuition25 4 points5 points ago

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I like this. Got any advice for the modern day?

[–]zaggynl 5 points6 points ago

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Thanks, I did not know this!

[–]az9 2 points3 points ago

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TIL

[–]n777athan 11 points12 points ago

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Theologians interpret things in many different ways, but seeing as how jesus just took the pain, the way most people see it is pretty correct. Unless they are harming others or trying to kill you don't become violent. Not saying you can't defend yourself if someone tries to stab you but starting a huge fight because some irrational fool disrespects you definitely does not help solve anything.

[–]bestbeforeMar91 18 points19 points ago

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Notice how nobody is taking notes?

[–][deleted] 16 points17 points ago

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"Does anyone think we should take it down?" "Nah, we will remember" "Dont you think we will forget bits or miss quote bits that will later be taken as fact?" "Nah, who would do that??"

[–]dadirtysanchez 9 points10 points ago

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Looks like it was taken right from a Family Guy episode

[–]untaken-username 2 points3 points ago

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Most of the people Jesus was preaching to were poor and illiterate.

[–]lord_nougat -2 points-1 points ago

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Yep, that sounds about right for the christian demographic.

[–]untaken-username 2 points3 points ago

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That was the beauty of Jesus's message. Rather than treating the ruling elite as demigods, Jesus went to the downtrodden and said, "God loves everyone, not just the rich. You are special, too."

He also said that the poor would have their day in the sun eventually.

And, look! there are those last who will be first, and there are those first who will be last.

-- (Luke 13:30)

The above quote (or rough approximations) appears in all of the gospels, I believe.

[–]Tig_Ol_Bitties_ -3 points-2 points ago

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I may be wrong here but your username has "Lord" in it which came from Christianity...

[–]spleet 2 points3 points ago*

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Sarcasm? Joking? Anywho:

According to the Oxford Dictionary of English, the etymology of the word can be traced back to the Old English word 'hlāford' which originated from 'hlāfweard' meaning 'bread keeper' or 'loaf-ward', reflecting the Germanic tribal custom of a chieftain providing food for his followers.[1] Lady, the female equivalent, originates from a similar structure, believed to have originally meant 'loaf-kneader.'>

[–]Tig_Ol_Bitties_ -1 points0 points ago

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I'm always wrong haha

[–]kasumi1190 36 points37 points ago

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This isn't funny, at all. The psychological purpose of this is brilliant. Even if you were an atheist, instead of being pissed at someone, allow yourself to wish them well and feel compassion for those people who have done you harm. It's a good way to live, and keeps your brain from obsessing on negative hateful thoughts. Tards. Not passive aggressive, it's being good to yourself, and not allowing stupid people taking up space in your head.

[–]81657483215495613248 21 points22 points ago

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As a fundamentalist agnostic, I really agree to this. Jesus, whether fictional or real, can teach us some lessons in humanity.

[–]theclassicoversharer 8 points9 points ago

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Fucking thank you! Atheists don't look at old chinese proverbs and say, "that's totally stupid and untrue." We can all read Greek and Roman mythology and intuitively understand that it's not true, but still gain the knowledge written between the lines. I think it's perfectly acceptable to look at stories from the bible and use them to gain a better understanding of the world, or at least use them as a tool in managing yourself and your emotions, if you feel inclined. The bible is just a book of parables, like many other self help books. And it's a great one at that. Jesus' primary message was to get rid of all the hate and ill will towards others in your life and love everyone. Who can argue with that? I just wish that a lot of christians would focus more on this instead of whether or not Noah could actually fit 2 of each species of animal on the boat or trying to prove that the earth is only 2500 years old.

Their bible plainly says that you can't know god. By claiming that they know the will of god and that god hate's gays and loves america, they have turned their god into a false idol. This is in their book. I wish that atheist would focus more energy on turning their own words against them, instead of throwing rocks for stealing christmas from the pagans and trying to disprove that Noah could fit 2 of eachanima on the ark. Of course that didn't happen and it should be embarrassing to atheists to even take part in these arguments. Hit them where it hurts, use thewords of Jesus. Thay love the guy. And if they argue you get to gasp and say " Are you disagreeing with Jesus/the Bible?! You need to go back to church!"

There are lot's of things in the bible that I disagree with. Particularly the old testament. I don't even believe in god myself, but I don't throw the baby out with the bath water.

Sorry for the rambling.

[–]clawDEEuss 3 points4 points ago

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These atheists you talk about are concerned with methodology. Pulling morality out the bible is like pulling random moral lessons out of hat. Some of the things that come out say "love thy neighbor" and others say "women should be subservient to men". Should we trust this method of determining morality, should we value what comes out of the hat?

You say we should value some of the things that come out, but not others. What you are doing is applying secular morality to the bible. You're throwing away all the bad things that come out of the hat, but keeping all the good ones. Then, in the end, you say, "Pulling lessons out of this hat is a decent way of determining morality" while you ignore the secular selection method you have applied.

[–]Seekzor 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I put it like that in an essay on the subject I turned in a few weeks ago.

[–]stferago 2 points3 points ago

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TL;DR. But I probably agree.

[–]skyflyinazn 4 points5 points ago

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Fundamentalism is a strict adherence to theological doctrines. So how are you a fundamentalist agnostic?

[–]81657483215495613248 6 points7 points ago

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It means that I don't know if there's a god, or any other supreme lifeform. And that I belive there is no way to know. If you look at an ant on the ground; how much of human society do you think that ant understands? Sure, it can see some huge beings, walking around, probably smelling gross, but how much can it really understand? In the same way, why couldn't there be something to large for humans to understand?

[–]INeverFinishMySen 1 point2 points ago

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I think he means he is a fundamentalist in reference to his agnosticism.

[–]persistent_illusion 0 points1 point ago

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Fundamentalism means strict adherence to what is fundamental, which means that which is centrally important. A fundamentalist agnostic would be one who adheres strictly to that which is most central to agnostic philosophy.

[–]getter1 0 points1 point ago

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couldn't this statement have been crafted by authoritarians who wished to indoctrinate unsettled occupied areas and colonies by spreading a religion that would train the people to be subservient to authority?

[–]roadbuzz 0 points1 point ago

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So can batman.

[–]viridian3701 0 points1 point ago*

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Except the joke is that the way (at least modern) Christians often use this idea of praying for others, is not an internal process of compassion, but an outward display of judgement.

Putting others down to make yourself feel better is a strategy many adopt. I am by no means saying that only Christian people do this or that all Christians do. I am saying that enough modern day Christians have been suspected of doing this (using the idea of praying for others as justification for effectively putting others down to make themselves feel better) that it makes this post a funny joke.

[–]stferago -1 points0 points ago

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The bible is a good moral guide, that's all.

[–]untaken-username 3 points4 points ago

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Parts of it are a good moral guide. Other parts are a history of the Jewish peoples. And other parts posit morals that are woefully outdated.

[–]stferago 0 points1 point ago

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This is true.

[–]Nurger -1 points0 points ago

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Morality is a good moral guide. Any bedtime story will do.

[–]stferago 0 points1 point ago

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Morality is not inherent in your brain. You learned it from other people, and some of them learned it from the bible.

[–]Nurger -1 points0 points ago

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Right, bedtime stories.

[–]stferago 0 points1 point ago*

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This is the problem with "atheists" like you on the internet. I have given no indication that I am religious (I'm not), yet you start poking and prodding anyway, hoping that I or someone else will disagree with you so that you can begin ranting about it.

[–]Nurger 0 points1 point ago

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That's the extent of my ranting. Bedtime stories. Atheists like me keep it simple.

[–]Alexnader- 4 points5 points ago*

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Turning the other cheek as you outlined is fine, however saying "I'll pray for you" to someone who is gay/atheistic/of a different race is extremely passive aggressive.

To say "I'll pray for you" is to say "There's something wrong with you, as such I need to call upon my god to help you even though you may not think you're doing anything wrong".

Edit* Surely to be truly virtuous, if you truly believed in the power of prayer then you would go home and pray without telling them. What's the point in telling someone you disagree with that you'll pray for them other than to annoy them? Thanks to platypuskeeper for this:

I'm not a Christian, but I seem to recall some.. Ah yes, Matthew 6:5-6:

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

TL;DR: Jesus said to pray in secret and not go around telling everyone about how pious you were.

[–]kasumi1190 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah this post wasn't about, or from what I read in the caption, about the idea of people saying, "lol, I'll pray for you!" It was simply about the idea of praying for those that harm you. Semantics or whatever. I'm all for the idea of bashing fuck tards who do announce praying for people in a annoying bitchy way though.

[–]Alexnader- -1 points0 points ago

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Eh, I read it as describing how to treat your enemies. I.e. pray for them so you can piss them off.

[–]kasumi1190 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, I know. I just had a immediate reaction to this. Mostly because of fucktards who say they'll pray for you keeping normal logical people from understanding the ORIGINAL idea behind this is a quite useful tool in life. That was where I was coming from.

[–]googoogoojoob 2 points3 points ago

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I think you're not getting the whole condescending judgmental part, which is nothing but passive aggressive.

[–]kasumi1190 6 points7 points ago

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I agree there are some asshat religious people who talk about it like that, but they're just asshat religious people.

[–]ashamble 1 point2 points ago

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Okay... now suppose that there existed a post to /r/Funny which attempted to use humor to mock these "asshats" by imagining Jesus not only condoning but actually promoting this asshattery. How would you feel about someone who used the words "psychological purposes" in response to such a post?

(Bonus personal growth question: How does using the word "tards" prevent said "tards" from "taking up space in your head"?)

[–]Jonmad17 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't "tuning the other cheek" the exact opposite of law and justice? If someone was being unjust or violent, ignoring them would obviously be the least moral option.

[–]Rorkimaru 0 points1 point ago

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Problem is a lot of people say it as a put down rather than informing them of what's going to happen.

[–]revolverzanbolt 0 points1 point ago

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Had my upvote right up until you called people "tards".

[–]kasumi1190 1 point2 points ago

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Fair enough.

[–]Nurger 0 points1 point ago

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You should follow your own advice and just tell us it's funny so we all feel like you're wishing us well which you are not.

[–]silent_p 0 points1 point ago

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It's passive aggressive if you tell them you're praying for them.

[–]kasumi1190 0 points1 point ago

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Agreed.

[–]TheMadJammer 2 points3 points ago

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Troll Jesus!

[–]verdammt 2 points3 points ago

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Woah....I made this thing like a year ago.

Super cool to see it floating around on the Internet!

_^

[–]findingchemo 3 points4 points ago

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"I'll pray for you."

[–]Platypuskeeper 6 points7 points ago

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I'm not a Christian, but I seem to recall some.. Ah yes, Matthew 6:5-6:

"And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

TL;DR: Jesus said to pray in secret and not go around telling everyone about how pious you were.

[–]n777athan 3 points4 points ago

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as a christian that definitely made me LOL

[–]ashamble 5 points6 points ago

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This was a test. You failed Jesus.

[–]kaltorak 1 point2 points ago

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It's only passive aggressive if you tell the person you're praying for them. So make sure and do that.

[–]ThreeInvisibleDucks 1 point2 points ago

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Christianity - putting passive in aggressive since 400AD

[–]Greygooze 2 points3 points ago

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made my day

[–]AeBeeEll 3 points4 points ago

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In fact, the Old Testament explicitly advises the use of passive aggressive tactics:

If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head,

[–]atred 3 points4 points ago

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Actually "passive aggressive" has a different meaning (opposite in a way), passive aggressive people instead of actively resisting they do it passively, in this example instead of saying "no, fuck off" they would burn the food, spill the water, or say "I will bring you food" and be late.

[–]mrjdblack80 0 points1 point ago

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lolsavior is the new lolcat. (I fucking hope, anyways. I always hated lolcatz)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Ahhhhh! I hate that shit! Got one of those the the bookstore I work at on Christmas eve... Maybe the bitch should have given me two seconds to suggest her some literature before running out with her Christian children's books.

[–]mshel016 0 points1 point ago

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Who knows, you might actually do them some harm

[–]tehrapist 0 points1 point ago

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I don't think it pisses the government off, though

[–]passivelyaggressiver 0 points1 point ago

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My choice to be an atheist has been all wrong!

[–]Ryugi 0 points1 point ago

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Especially if your enemies are /r/atheism

[–]Jonmad17 0 points1 point ago

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So if i'm face to face with Hitler, Stalin, or Charles Manson i'm supposed to "turn the other cheek"? This goes against much of what we consider to be justice.

[–]Rorkimaru 0 points1 point ago

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Says they'll pray for you, Doesn't pray for you

Passive Aggressive Christian Dance

[–]kentrel 0 points1 point ago

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A misunderstanding of what passive aggression is again. If they actually believe that praying for you is the best thing they can do for you it's not PA.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Passive%E2%80%93aggressive_behavior

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Praying for people isn't passive aggressive. Sure there are some Christians out there that will offer it in a demeaning way. Christians need more prayer then most for being straight up a-holes. In my understanding, there is no sin that is more or less than another... God doesn't see us on any higher or lesser footing than any other person he has created.

I guess I'll say it this way. I would never pray that God strip a person of being an atheist, because it was at the root of my atheism that I found God. I'd just pray that when an atheist was feeling crappy God would show them some peace. If they broke their leg, I'd pray for a speedy recovery. If they are in need of more time, more money, more love... that God be there to fulfill any needs...

Some Christians preach a spirit of religion, this is generally the hypocrisy you see. The rules and the masses taking biblical teaching out of context, following the leader before reading the bible themselves and asking God what he really means to say. (If they did, they would see that no where in the bible does Jesus take a picket sign saying anything about God hating anyone.)

There are a healthy chunk of Christians, however, who pray with the spirit of God which is Love. Sincere Love. When Pauls says: "Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil, and cling to what is good." Evil and good are not two different groups, evil can be found in each individual but does not speak for an entire group... He goes further in this letter to say that when people need help, help them. I pray for emotions and for physical healing. I don't pray to take away Atheism. I was one once, I was just as much God's child then as I am now.

[–]xiaorobear 0 points1 point ago

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Relevant SMBC comic: Jesus' oft-forgotten sermon on passive aggression.

If your neighbor strikes you, turn the other cheek. Then, your neighbor feels like a total dick.

[–]Alsta 0 points1 point ago

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/r/funny is turning into an outlet for the garbage that /r/atheism is cracking down on now. I also don't think OP knows what praying is. You don't go around telling people you pray/prayed for them. Unless they can mind-read they won't be pissed. (FYI I am not some butthurt Christian, I just think religious jokes are on the same level as gay jokes in terms of being outdated and unfunny)

[–]Halolamer -1 points0 points ago

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Whenever im in a argument/debate/pissing match with one of my christian friends about something morally subjective, or creation/evolution, or tons of other shit...if/when they run out of logical points they will say some shit like 'God forgive him he knows not what he does', or 'I will pray for you that one day you will know the truth' or some other shit... This kind of belittling highroad passive agressive buillshit REALLY pisses me off.

[–]g4c 0 points1 point ago

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After a million such debates, I have realized this: If you start driving down a dead-end road, you shouldn't get upset when the road ends. In other words, if how these conversations ends makes you so upset, maybe it would be better if you didn't participate in them to begin with.

[–]zerointegrity -1 points0 points ago

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Amen.

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago*

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Hey, would anyone mind checking out a super passive agressive b-tch? Just posted this the other day. It got only one comment. I don't wanna spam the thread, but just feeling pretty ಠ_ಠ and :( about sharing with this loonytoon..

edit: ..and could use some advice and/or laughs about it.. :) cheers xx

edit: I got more downvotes that up, so I'm sensing this comment wasn't appropriate... for those who downvoted me "I forgive you" :p

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