So in fairness, the story about me jumping the wall is actually not as good as that one, but here's that one.

The set up is largely the same, busy Friday night, I'm working with me and three other guys. Now the way our store is set up, you already know about the raised platform for the registers. It's in the center of the store, on one side the aisles for candy and magazines and our frozen, the other, beer, drinks, and snacks. There's one set of doors, an in door and an out door, from either side, the door on the right is push, the door on the left pull.

It's me and three other guys, having a good time, enjoying the rush hours, joking, generally carrying on with our customers. One of the guys I'm working with notices a guy in the frozen cabinets acting a bit odd, points him out to me. I let him know to just keep an eye on it, and don't do anything. So we do, we continue working and carrying on and just keeping an eye on this guy.

All of the sudden, he grabs like 7 frozen Tombstone pizzas, and TEARS off for the door, knocking a couple people out of the way, not doing any damage, but just being an idiot. Of course, he's drunk as fuck and so he stops at the first door.

And pushes.

And pushes.

And pushes.

Finally he gets it, moves over to the other door and pushes through.

Soon as he gets to the door, I take off after him, I have to get out of our little fortress of money and cigarettes the opposite side of the door though so it takes me a second.

Now the way our parking lot is set up, we're on the corner. So you step out, and to the right is the road, and the left is an alleyway that goes down. To maintain the foundation of course a cement wall holds everything in place on our side.

As I clear the door, (cleverly going through the push door on the right the first time) I catch a glimpse of him rounding the edge of the wall to the left, taking off into an alleyway. I sprint toward the wall, maybe four or five feet high on our side, and parkour vault over it, dropping down the other side just in time to,

Not see anything...

I assume he kept going so I run down the alleyway and see another guy just walking by, I ask if he's seen anyone run by, and he did, saw the guy run into an apartment complex, I thank him and run straight into the apartment and up a flight of stairs, stop for a second and listen.

He's two floors up by the sound of it. I race up the stairs,

One flight,

Two flights,

Nothing, I hear more stomping, one floor up, down the hallway,

Three flights now.

And as I look down the hallway I see a flash of the guy turning a corner into the last apartment on the left.

I get back to the store, the cops have arrived and I lead them straight to the apartment. We're naturally good friends with the cops given that we offer them free fountain sodas during their late shifts and they generally help us maintain the peace by stopping in a few times during the night, at least once during the rush and just looking scary.

They go into the apartment, ask me if I'll step in and confirm. The guy was already cooking the pizzas, wrappers on the counter. I confirm which guy stole it, his roommates are pissed.

At him, not me.

A couple guys wound up getting busted for possession of something, I wasn't privy to those details. I end up getting a nice bonus out of the deal, something about anti-theft prevention, not much of a suit, the guy had to pay some fines and repay our losses on the stuff, I think he may have overnighted in jail.

Now the couple with the Chicken and the Balcony? That's a great fucking story, (literally actually...). Took place at 430am, so it had to be good.