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all 103 comments

[–]TheMeaning0fLife 206 points207 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]BaconChapstick 18 points19 points ago

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I am going to need someone to test that validity of that horse. Looks a lot more camel like to me.

[–]raduannassar 23 points24 points ago

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You mean he's beating a dead horsea?

[–]familyturtle 9 points10 points ago

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I fucking love horsea. Once it gets past the whole I ONLY KNOW BUBBLE phase it's actually awesome.

[–]raduannassar 6 points7 points ago

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Really? Of all the water-type pokemons I always thought he was the most crabby.

[–]SlothRidingMoses 7 points8 points ago

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Yeah he would want to start seaking a better pokemon.

[–]raduannassar 2 points3 points ago

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I seel what you did there.

[–]A_WILD_ABRA_APPEARED 10 points11 points ago

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I always thought that was Krabby.

[–]Asdayasman -2 points-1 points ago

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STOP GETTING UPVOTES FOR A NOVELTY ACCOUNT.

FUCK.

[–]Lemonegro 5 points6 points ago

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I thought you were going to link to some reddit posts.

[–]B_Elanna_Torres 17 points18 points ago

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Never heard the Volcano joke until now. Thanks.

[–]expiredcheese 4 points5 points ago

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They must be Italian Volcanos...

[–]jukefrenzy -1 points0 points ago

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Nope Chuck Testa.

[–]UggaLee 31 points32 points ago

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what software did he use to create that apple sms look?

[–]AdenineNinja 9 points10 points ago

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It's an android app: GO SMS PRO

[–]UggaLee 8 points9 points ago

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thanks, but what's with all the upvotes?

[–]SgtFish 1 point2 points ago

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People really want their shit to look like Apple stuff, I guess.

PRETTY UNIQUE.

[–]redditors_r_assholes 1 point2 points ago

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I do it with Hancent SMS

[–]JaysonthePirate 0 points1 point ago

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I've been using GO SMS for awhile. Their sms popup is seriously slick. And its crazy customizable. This fellow just happened to stick an iphone theme on it.

[–]TankorSmash 0 points1 point ago

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It comes builtin

[–]JaysonthePirate 0 points1 point ago

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It's built in with several. He stuck to it I should say.

[–]Hamstertoast 9 points10 points ago

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Best jokes ever. Why should you stock up on taco bell food today? In Quesadilla pocolips!

[–]SexDrugsRock 3 points4 points ago

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I laughed more at your joke than all of the whale jokes in the OP.

[–]Melanie_Whorehouse 8 points9 points ago

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And shell never come back.

[–]angryvigilante 1 point2 points ago

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Good.

[–]jdpwnsyou 10 points11 points ago

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I'm sorry but these are the kinds of jokes that I've been listening to my dad rattle off for the last 2 weeks of vacation. Dad, are you a redditor now? Are you polluting /r/funny?

[–]JMV290 15 points16 points ago

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You might wanna check if your mom left your dad then. :(

[–]redditallreddy -2 points-1 points ago

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I don't know if she left him, but she's baleen with me.

[–]backpackwayne 31 points32 points ago

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I sea.

[–]mmPete 11 points12 points ago

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seariously....do you?

[–]rajinder94 4 points5 points ago

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I'm shore.

[–]PositivelyClueless 1 point2 points ago

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from the shand in your vagina?

[–]DeweyFat 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know. Seems fishy to me.

[–]christianjb 1 point2 points ago

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Could you be more pacific?

[–]DeweyFat 5 points6 points ago

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Overall I find it shallow and atlantic.

[–]proceduralgeneration 3 points4 points ago

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I imagine this is exactly what it's like to date a redditor.

[–]Yeah_Ill_Read_That 12 points13 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]vaginal_cream 10 points11 points ago

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why?

[–]Yeah_Ill_Read_That 1 point2 points ago

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We both find it amusing, but it's usually me who takes a simple joke and repeats it until the repetition itself is funny. I think the girl in this thing could stand to lighten up a little bit.

[–]Brazzk 1 point2 points ago

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And now she leafs happily with a guy, who can make more original jokes.

[–]MrGoodSire 1 point2 points ago

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Needs more manatee jokes.

[–]INeverFinishMySen 1 point2 points ago

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She should have said

"Sea you later."

[–]momster 1 point2 points ago

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I liked it.

[–]PUNleashed 4 points5 points ago

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She isn't ca-pebble of handling all the jokes.

[–]dumbledorkus 6 points7 points ago

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She comes across as pretty crabby.

[–]redditallreddy 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, kind of acted like a beach.

[–]flinxsl 4 points5 points ago

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Guys, try to coral your puns into one thread!

[–]colornsound 0 points1 point ago

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That was excellent.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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And that is how you breakup the entertaining way.

[–]ScruffySteez 1 point2 points ago

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as a non native speaker I haven't heard any of those before and I found them pretty funny

[–]kellydoll 0 points1 point ago

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I love it!

[–]sandman369 0 points1 point ago

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Not knowing when to stop... that's your thing!

[–]cbfw86 0 points1 point ago

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back in the game!

[–]CamelTone 0 points1 point ago

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Someone open a window and let some of these puns out!

[–]hehehe99 0 points1 point ago

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Who gets annoyed over puns when they can't even spell ಠ_ಠ

[–]colornsound 0 points1 point ago

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Or use proper punctuation.

[–]themaskedlemur 0 points1 point ago

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my female friend wants you to know if it doesn't work out, she will gladly give you her number, as you deserve someone better/someone who appreciates your whaley awesome jokes

[–]Adrienne926 1 point2 points ago

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for sure man, OP definitely deserves to have someone participating in that awesome conversation!

[–]13randnew 0 points1 point ago

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I totally want to seal this idea

[–]avenx 0 points1 point ago

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So did she actually break up with you?

[–]mrmongolion 0 points1 point ago

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uh.........its kinda wierd cause well.......this is my friends post on facebook.......and i know who was doing the bad puns........so........ya........nice job stealn it

[–]polishpolarbear 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like he's fishing for a complement....

[–]kophen 0 points1 point ago

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Read in a Swedish accent for best results.

[–]ESqu13R 0 points1 point ago

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I pfftchftch'ed on the pacific one.

[–]UndeadMantis -1 points0 points ago

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Hell I'D break up with that.

[–]barrymacockenya 0 points1 point ago

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Crab people can be beaches.

[–]marvelous_molester 0 points1 point ago

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i smiled until the last message

[–]Xaisle 0 points1 point ago

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Love love love love love

[–]Streakiest -1 points0 points ago

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Wow, these commenters must be swell at parties.

[–]sirblastalot -1 points0 points ago

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Those puns were worth losing a relationship.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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this is the cutest thing i have ever seen

[–]trls063 -1 points0 points ago

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im literally doing this right now with my girlfriend.

[–]cc0000 -1 points0 points ago

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A keeper.

[–]zalmoxe -2 points-1 points ago

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Nothing, they waved

[–]EatDatSheeet -1 points0 points ago

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The master

[–]King_Tofu -1 points0 points ago

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how about . . ."My battleship is bigger than your battleship"?

[–]arahman81 0 points1 point ago

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Which means, your battleship has a higher chance of getting sunk.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Needy little bitch much?

[–]Starrfx642 0 points1 point ago

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DUDE. It's christmas. Why are you so mean?

[–]trls063 -1 points0 points ago

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and ...now i got caught. I never should have told her about reddit.

[–]Jekrel -1 points0 points ago

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Trade girlfriend for karma.

...

Profit!

[–]cc0000 -1 points0 points ago

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A keeper.

[–]Saikouro -5 points-4 points ago

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Oooh all of them are fish. I get it now.