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WTF

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all 148 comments

[–]HereIsWhere 85 points86 points ago

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Did he slip on a banana peel?

[–]ballsack66 5 points6 points ago

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So it would seem.

[–]diggemigre 25 points26 points ago

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So it would semen.

FTFY

[–]jabroni2002 2 points3 points ago

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cum on guys, you're just jealous

[–]regravity -2 points-1 points ago

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Getting into that position must really suck...

[–]FatMansPants 1 point2 points ago

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Oh come on, that excuse is hard to swallow

[–]rosebot 187 points188 points ago

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Wow, surprisingly I've never seen a picture of someone doing that on the internet before.

[–]SouthFresh 84 points85 points ago

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You are now a full member, here's your card.

[–][deleted] 88 points89 points ago

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Hey, you forgot the link to his membership card.

Don't worry, I got your back.

Congratulations rosebud. Welcome aboard.

[–]Ztwede 13 points14 points ago

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This deserves its own post. Give everybody on r/wtf the "membership" card.

[–]ten_yr_old_redditor 8 points9 points ago

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yay!

[–]ejabno 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck. Should have seen that coming.

[–]Raktos 0 points1 point ago

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I cried laughing to this ;)

[–]Ftech 5 points6 points ago

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Can I pick up mine as well?

[–]SouthFresh 5 points6 points ago

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This is going to be one of those things where you hold the door for one person, but then magically their normal car turns into a clown car and there are 500 other people all spaced too closely together to be able to politely stop holding the door without looking like a total asshat.

[–]rothwick 28 points29 points ago

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me neither. i've heard you have to remove 2 ribs in order to do that.

[–]chingyduster 76 points77 points ago

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Does anyone remember the rumor that Marilyn Manson got that procedure done, for this main purpose?

[–]slantedshacks 21 points22 points ago

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YES! haha!

[–]NorthernSkeptic 4 points5 points ago

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AND THAT HE WAS PAUL FROM WONDER YEARS!!!!!11!@

[–]pHreaksYcle 1 point2 points ago

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Rumor...

[–]WilliamAgain 1 point2 points ago

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You make me feel old.

[–]Redditsays 0 points1 point ago

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Ok, as a person without knowledge about Marilyn Manson, what's this reference about?

[–]slippery_joe 4 points5 points ago

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Google for 'self suck'... you don't need ribs removed.

[–]4511 2 points3 points ago

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Please tell me there isn't some WikiHow page or some guy on Yahoo Answers asking for advice on how to go about it.

[–]Kylethedarkn 1 point2 points ago

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Turns out yes there is. Lot's of fucking sit ups and don't have a tiny dick! Actually not joking on that, found one that said that. xD

[–]rtrtwe2 1 point2 points ago

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i can do it normaly...

[–]Despierten 0 points1 point ago

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[–]option_i 0 points1 point ago

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You don't.

[–]GenlockSucks 6 points7 points ago

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Go to a gymnastic competition, all the men do it, and that's what real men do!

[–]option_i 1 point2 points ago

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I can actually tea h mine.....

[–]option_i 1 point2 points ago

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Reach.

[–]SODA_IN_MY_PUSSY 3 points4 points ago

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The edit button lets you edit the post.

[–]option_i 1 point2 points ago

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Not on my app.

[–]SODA_IN_MY_PUSSY 1 point2 points ago

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Ah.

[–]option_i 2 points3 points ago

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Nice screen name.

[–]SODA_IN_MY_PUSSY 3 points4 points ago

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This old thing?

[–]option_i 0 points1 point ago

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yeah. Lol. It is funny. I imagine soda in a pussy.

[–]SODA_IN_MY_PUSSY 9 points10 points ago

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That's more or less what I was going for.

[–]wingnut0420 64 points65 points ago

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This is obviously shopped. If he could really do that, he wouldn't be outside, he'd never leave the house.

[–]juggernaughtie 17 points18 points ago

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You just CSI'd the fuck out of that. Kudos

[–]sodoh 2 points3 points ago

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Not quite, we would need to see it from another angle, like from up his nose.

[–]colmoutard 4 points5 points ago

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You just George Carlin'ed the fuck out of that.

[–]Succulent_D 24 points25 points ago

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Your school mascot sucks dick.

[–]mjbfikus -2 points-1 points ago

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He's such a dick whore he once sucked off a mascot in the school gym.

[–]emjae007 18 points19 points ago

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"chestnuts resting on an open ass"

[–]BeenADickArnold 11 points12 points ago

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"jizz sauce dripping from your nose"

[–]kenocar 0 points1 point ago

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That's called an "angry dragon".

[–]playsinpaint[!] 61 points62 points ago

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huh. well would ya look at that.

[–]i_dno_do_u[!] 14 points15 points ago

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I can do that too!
Here, hold my beer.

[–]damendred 37 points38 points ago

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When you're holding someones beer while attempting that, avoid the temptation to take a sip...

[–]MrKrazybones 7 points8 points ago

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That boy aint right

[–]moferad 1 point2 points ago

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lmfao!

[–]klove614 1 point2 points ago

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Laughed way too hard at this comment. too high

[–]Scaryfedoraman 2 points3 points ago

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you and me both.

My nigga.

[–]samsf90 1 point2 points ago

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that man is sucking his own dick.

[–]IVIasterbrodey 16 points17 points ago

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Oh r/wtf....... always catching me off-guard.....

[–]sugaredchurro 26 points27 points ago

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Now he just needs to learn how to cook and bam, forever alone...with benefits

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]wojosmith 11 points12 points ago

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My only question does that make him gay. I mean he is sucking a dick.

[–]darsius 72 points73 points ago

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hes sucking a guy's dick while getting his dick sucked by a guy at the same time. sounds pretty gay.

[–]pytechd 33 points34 points ago

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The gay cancels itself out. So he's not gay unless he is actually gay. Trust me, I'm a gay guy.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 5 points6 points ago

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would that in turn make him straight?or.uh. both heads explode

[–]Salvador204 7 points8 points ago

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Yo dawg...

[–]DutchPrisoner 0 points1 point ago

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I once had a dream that I was having sex with my exact double. Or was I having sex with myself? I mean, what was fucked up was to think that I had the perspective of one of "myselfs" in the dream but then did not have the perspective of the other "myself." So I guess it was an exact double and not actually two of me.

Also, I'm not gay but apparently I don't hate myself either.

[–]darsius 2 points3 points ago

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id call that a cool story any day.

[–]Domalicious 29 points30 points ago

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Is it gay when you jack yourself off?

[–]RobotRollCall24 23 points24 points ago

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Not if you say "no homo" first.

[–]Herp_in_my_Derp 11 points12 points ago

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Fuck

[–]Domalicious 2 points3 points ago

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You say "no homo" to yourself before you masterbate?

[–]RebelWithoutAClue -2 points-1 points ago

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mmmuh mo momo.

Is that teh ghey?

[–]ph0replay 1 point2 points ago

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I feel stupid for never approaching the question like this.

[–]McWatt 2 points3 points ago

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Nope. You jerk off with your own hand and that's not gay, so using your own mouth isn't gay. But, sucking your own dick does make you a cocksucker.

[–]ShakeNBakey 8 points9 points ago

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In the immortal words of George W. Bush: "There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked."

[–]PerogiXW 7 points8 points ago

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He did say that.

[–]Mariox 1 point2 points ago

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According to South Park, getting your dick sucked dose make you gay. The guy doing the sucking is fine.

At least this guy will not be thirsty.

[–]dfrehil 1 point2 points ago

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Balls aren't touching. No gay here.

[–]BeenADickArnold 0 points1 point ago

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Its not gay, if it's in a three-way

[–]diggemigre 1 point2 points ago

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does that make him gay

Only if he swallows.

[–]Teotwawki69 0 points1 point ago

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Does it make you gay when you jerk off? I mean, you are rubbing a dick.

[–]xRyNo 0 points1 point ago

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It's not gay it's masturbation!

[–]Technoslave 0 points1 point ago

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It's only gay if he can look himself in the eyes while doing it.

[–]RetroRodent 0 points1 point ago

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His balls are touching.

[–]meowfaceman 1 point2 points ago

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You didn't know? Why, there's even a Wikipedia entry about it!

[–]nothing_clever 1 point2 points ago

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there is a poem narrating how the sun god Ra had created the god Shu and goddess Tefnut by fellating himself and spitting out his own semen onto the ground.[5] In ancient Egyptian texts this act is usually performed by the god Atum, and most texts depict only the spitting of the semen or only the masturbation, but not both.[5]

Well. There's something they didn't tell us in elementary school.

[–]losian 0 points1 point ago

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Depending on body-type and endowments it's definitely possible, in various positions.. Stretching exercises and general limberness are all ya need!

[–]Legitimidget 0 points1 point ago

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And a reasonably large member.

[–]esushi 0 points1 point ago

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It certainly helps, but in my ... research... I've seen guys deep throat all the way down, even. So even if they were a centimeter those guys would have been able to.

[–]borkborkbork99 6 points7 points ago

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"Hey, why doesn't Phil ever go out with us anymore?"

/mystery solved.

[–]fuzzb0y 5 points6 points ago

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You've tainted my christmas eve.

[–]Robin_Hood-Rat 2 points3 points ago

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This picture is as old as the interbutts.

[–]felix11089 7 points8 points ago

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HOLY SHIT THAT IS MY OLD SCHOOL dakota high school IN MACOMB MICHIGAN!!! HOLY SHIT!!!

[–]M_R_Big 3 points4 points ago

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Reminds me of Metalocalypse. It's metal to suck your own dick.

[–]eversohigh 2 points3 points ago

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i can do that unfortunately it hurts my back

[–]kazakhpimp 1 point2 points ago

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Ah, cool. He's the 10%.

[–]EquinsuOcha 1 point2 points ago

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I have to say, I'm impressed. I mean, that mustache must have taken quite a while to come in.

[–]Boogietron9000 1 point2 points ago

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I would suck my cock all day if I could.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 1 point2 points ago

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man these cheerleading tryouts are getting harder and harder...

[–]mrbuddybanana 1 point2 points ago

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Lucky or gay?

[–]dyer346 1 point2 points ago

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Wow you can't unsee that.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]dopolini 1 point2 points ago

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Destiny?

[–]JoePurdy 1 point2 points ago

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I wish I could do 2 up-votes for restoring my faith in humanity.

[–]Thoraxe 1 point2 points ago

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Go Dick Suckers!

[–]SouthFresh -4 points-3 points ago

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So that's what Cougar means.

[–]night_goonch 0 points1 point ago

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I thought once you could do that you'd never leave the house again. How'd you get him outside?

[–]Ludacrits 0 points1 point ago

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That's quite impressive.

[–]JupitersClock 0 points1 point ago

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Oh god why.

[–]jacksokbrooks 0 points1 point ago

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r/spacedicks would welcome you

[–]Rabee_123 0 points1 point ago

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[–]kenocar 0 points1 point ago

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I would be more impressed if he could suck his cock standing up.

[–]WillWalrus 0 points1 point ago

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Thats how I browse reddit.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 0 points1 point ago

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well....i was not expecting that...

also reminds me of clerks

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 0 points1 point ago

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hes working his way up to a self rim job.one stretch and suck at a time...

[–]bodmodman333 0 points1 point ago

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WHY ARE HIS FINGERS GLOWING!!!???

[–]FawmahRhoDyelindah 1 point2 points ago

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Because they're happy they can finally get a rest from masturbation duties.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 1 point2 points ago

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hes getting ready to flame on

[–]gandorf604 0 points1 point ago

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It can be done.

[–]CanadaEh97 0 points1 point ago

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Well he doesn't have to worry if he doesn't score on a Friday night.

[–]GoobMcSpazatron 0 points1 point ago

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that is a big ol wtf

[–]KingKazuma 0 points1 point ago

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on the plus side, he has really cool glowing shoes

[–]Volker_Metal 0 points1 point ago

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I have dreams where I can suck my own dick. I bet I'm gonna have one tonight.

[–]nikkip00t 0 points1 point ago

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He is impeccably shaved and groomed in the starfish region.

Not that I noticed.

[–]Stelfury 0 points1 point ago

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..Merry Christmas to you too O_O cries in the corner

[–]hazoozoo 0 points1 point ago

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awesomecougars.org

[–]bluefoot55 0 points1 point ago

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Redditors whose high school's mascot was the cougar ... is that a definite WTF times infinity?

[–]ScreamingWithMeaning 0 points1 point ago

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It probably feels a lot more like you're sucking dick instead of getting your dick sucked.

[–]IHv2RtrnSumVdeotapes 0 points1 point ago

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suddenly,fred realized his buddies played a cruel joke on him when they said sucking your own dick in the cafeteria would get him mad chicks

[–]AlexHimself 0 points1 point ago

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Can girls fellate themselves like this?

[–]akijade 0 points1 point ago

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Well done, sir. I am impressed.

[–]The_Stoop_Kid 0 points1 point ago

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I feel like I shouldn't have laughed so hard at that...

[–]Kelthice 0 points1 point ago

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That's enough internet for me.

[–]LanaSays 0 points1 point ago

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if you could suck your own dick, like this guy, would you spit or swallow?

[–]tito13kfm 0 points1 point ago

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Yes

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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yes

[–]Jabbathematt -1 points0 points ago

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49ers?

[–]bullybones[S] 13 points14 points ago

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St. Otto Falatio's school for boys.

[–]the_nun 4 points5 points ago

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Haha. Oh you.

[–]antelmo -1 points0 points ago

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wait.. what? ..

[–]LeBabyEskimo -1 points0 points ago

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does that count me as gay?

[–]binaryecho -2 points-1 points ago

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he has won.

[–]noughtagroos -2 points-1 points ago

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Fucking cocksucker