First time masturbating in over a month...

Din0saurDrugs · 8 months

Day 2: The GIF still hasn't loaded. I'm thinking about closing the tab.

awkook · 8 months

This gif took EXTREMELY long to load.

not_prompt · 8 months

And nobody has asked why you didn't masturbate in over a month, so I will be that guy.

Why haven't you masturbated in over a month?

barrows_arctic · 8 months

Red? You should get that checked.

rarkmeece · 8 months

I always stick a fry in and try to get it all out.

HouseBreaker · 8 months

First time getting my dick shot at in like a year.

juic3 · 8 months

Is it just me or is this the slowest loading .gif of all time?

deejaypeetoo · 8 months

tl: dw

JaysonthePirate · 8 months

THERE WAS A GHOST! IT'S EKTOPLAZM!

joystickgenie · 8 months

Yup, same way I do it. Hold it in the middle and slap it firmly on the base.

NJ_Lyons · 8 months

It's funny because they both sting when it gets in your eye.

likeaboss88 · 8 months

Yeah. no doubt. would have been more fitting if it was yellow instead of red.

Ojoo · 8 months

Ok, I'll ask, why has it been a month?

pathartl · 8 months

I don't know if my connection is slow today or something, but damn that took forever to load.

anubus72 · 8 months

this is the slowest gif i've ever seen

jonskeezy · 8 months

Source?

wackywiener · 8 months

Obligatory

UnknownArchive · 8 months

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title	comnts	points	age	/r/
This exact situation happens to me at least once a week.	5^coms	34^pts	16^dys	pics
How it feels to make it to the front page...	1^com	6^pts	1^mo	funny
One more should do it...	0^coms	0^pts	1^mo	gifs
Attack of the ketchup	0^coms	-2^pts	2^mos	gifs
I hate when this happens	5^coms	4^pts	2^mos	gifs
Every time I try to shake ketchup out of the bottle	3^coms	2^pts	2^mos	funny
This is why I prefer the squeeze bottle...	154^coms	914^pts	2^mos	gifs
Every fucking time...	5^coms	4^pts	2^mos	funny
ROFL KATCHOP!!!	2^coms	-3^pts	1^mo	gifs
How I feel when I ask my girlfriend how her day went.	9^coms	166^pts	1^mo	funny
everytime	2^coms	18^pts	1^mo	funny
Ketchup never comes out, but when it does...	4^coms	1^pt	2^mos	gif
Fucking ketchup	2^coms	3^pts	12^dys	funny
Every damn time....	0^coms	-3^pts	11^dys	funny
Every time I just want a little ketchup....	1^com	13^pts	13^dys	gifs
Ketchup!	3^coms	-3^pts	13^dys	WTF
Happens every time I try to get the ketchup out...	263^coms	1256^pts	14^dys	WTF
Time for some ketchup... oh shit OH SHIT!	1^com	1^pt	14^dys	gifs
ketchup mishap	15^coms	73^pts	1^mo	WTF
Dude VS Ketchup Bottle	1^com	2^pts	1^mo	funny
ew	1^com	2^pts	2^mos	pics
What it's like when my girlfriend finally reaches my orgasm	78^coms	421^pts	2^mos	funny
You have to remember this happening to you at one point or another...	19^coms	112^pts	2^mos	pics

source: karmadecay

Suicycle · 8 months

Made my day. I just registered with reddit just to be able to up this one.

Wabashman · 8 months

Thats gonna be fun for your mom to clean up

bob__loblaw · 8 months

EDIT: OOOH! I get it! The month it takes to load the gif really puts us in OPs shoes, enhancing the effect!

TheComputerWhisperer · 8 months

After that long, I'm sure it felt great to ketchup on your fapping!!

IMakeItLookEasy · 8 months

TS;DW

ImBatin · 8 months

The real question is who doesn't masturbate for a whole month?

thechilllife · 8 months

Funniest thing I've seen on here all day...thanks.

ActualGreg · 8 months

It goes all over your face....?

special_j · 8 months

I know, I hate it when my ketchup lubricant goes everywhere too

option_i · 8 months

I just fapped to ketchup....

ulbador · 8 months

% Total % Received % Xferd Average Speed Time Time Time Current Dload Upload Total Spent Left Speed

14 3926k 14 576k 0 0 4906 0 0:13:39 0:02:00 0:11:39 7728

11 minutes left to download a single 4 meg gif. I might have to dig out my modem to download it faster

NedleyLamar · 8 months

why are you going months in between masturbation?

notenufwork · 8 months

So slow I changed to another tab just to change back and see the massive fail that was the load in the guys face...

newmodelno115 · 8 months

Is there a mirror for this? Can't get it to load at all.

Luckinhas · 8 months

I think you need to go to a doctor, your sperm in kinda bloody.

HiImGarrett · 8 months

Jesus Christ, that gif would have been funny if it didn't take ten minutes to load...

wouldyoukindly · 8 months

Dude, If your jizz looks like that you might want to go to a doctor...

Arymo · 8 months

have to say I was really expecting http://arch.413chan.net/Randy_Marsh_Jizz-%28n1297311504658%29.jpg

Phinigin · 8 months

This is how Joey masturbates - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_vssdys8lk

Ribelm · 8 months

When it rains, it pours.

criticismguy · 8 months

None'll come and then a lot'll.

prmaster23 · 8 months

That happens because your testosterone levels are to high.

Trepper · 8 months

I've seen that gif before, but I still waited the 20 minutes just to see it in context..

thePnezzy · 8 months

Ohh man, I'm still laughing. +1million up votes

climinator · 8 months

finals were that bad eh?

imgonnabethatguy · 8 months

Watching this gif load was quite suspenseful, even though I knew what was coming (pun intended). And that explosion was rather satisfying.

Putative · 8 months

As a guy, I can't understand how you could go for a month without jacking it.

Kingfisher83 · 8 months

I nearly spit out my drink. Thanks for a much needed laugh!

cheez-man44 · 8 months

mine normally turns red as well after a month...i try to keep it regular.

manself · 8 months

[This fucking guy](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d7vvz2oYBsQz0 doesn't have that problem. Who has a GF and still needs to fap? ಠ_ಠ

Mclovin92 · 8 months

I figured it would be more like this

Lucky_kelley · 8 months

Idk if you smoke trees but if you do.. HOLY SHIT

if that doesnt make sense.. 'BATE WHEN YOU HIGH

haackedc · 8 months

Upvote for not being Randy

prupsicle · 8 months

PLEASE Redditors just fucking use imgur

asianhunter · 8 months

What are you Sting?

iPeeLavaLampGoo · 8 months

LONGEST GIF EVER. But good.

iamagainstit · 8 months

Why would you do that to your self (abstain for a month)?

DeviousCrypto · 8 months

Is /r/nofap leaking into funny nowadays?

SR71-boss · 8 months

Bloody semen. you should get that checked out.

jmazzi · 8 months

I would buy this product.

Douchebox · 8 months

Why would you ever go a month without masturbating? I went to county jail for a month and I still masturbated, there are no excuses.

kevknow · 8 months

you should weigh yourself on a scale before and after, and let us all know how much came out.

[deleted] · 8 months

I will never look at this Gif in the same way again...

used_bathwater · 8 months

Did it come out like extra extra extra thick brandy cream?

discordant · 8 months

This gif took a very long time to load, and I found myself thinking, "I really hope he doesn't jam a knife up there to get it going".

angry_fapper · 8 months

Downvote OP upvote REInvestor.

Shadowglove · 8 months

Pics or it didn't happen.

xcforlife · 8 months

took like 10 minutes to load... worth it (better than a month!)

TheMightyMush · 8 months

I lost it. Hard. In the middle of my family.

Dyslxeic · 8 months

I HATE watching the gif before it's completely loaded

rabbitcoffee · 8 months

Interesting. I will probably never make it past a week.

w2sjw · 8 months

So many people have no idea that the 'red sea' can be avoided by just gently tapping on the '57' logos on the side of the glass bottles.

No need for a fry, or a knife, etc...

Zirakis · 8 months

. . . It. . . it looked like a massacre?

coadyj · 8 months

Waiting for that gif to load was like watching internet porn in the 90's

tehkier · 8 months

Please don't ever upload on that site again.

finallycreatedaname · 8 months

Lies. You haven't gone a month without!

IHazTehCat · 8 months

But November ended nearly 25 days ago...

MaliceRaven · 8 months

THERE IS SEMEN EVERYWHERE!

lx0103 · 8 months

Why would you not masturbate in over a month? Are you mormon?

seriouslywtfreddit · 8 months

OMG DO AN AMA

magme89 · 8 months

Why did you stop for a month?

plattica · 8 months

I rarely ever, EVER upvote anything. This made me laugh so hard I accidently upvoted. I HAVE NO REGRETS.

kingsway8605 · 8 months

I have had fantasies of jacking off the pope, am I going to hell?

Valtrenic · 8 months

not 10 minutes after "waking up" and doing the same thing.... I read this. eerie

Coreybeck · 8 months

My mate went 50 days once.

arkandy7 · 8 months

and this gif is officially ruined for me.

Publius82 · 8 months

You know i've seen this gif before, but its only now occurred to me to wonder how they did this

puphop · 7 months

I hope it wasn't red.

Nehr-what · 7 months

It...its EVERYWHERE

Joker99352 · 7 months

Someone's been eating too many beets.

[deleted] · 7 months

Your sperm cells are absorbed back into the body and is released via urethra after 3-5 days, and is replaced by freshly made sperm.

ussoldier239 · 7 months

A month? Try 3 days.

victored · 7 months

nice touch with that blood

lachoigin · 7 months

My boyfriend, every. single. time.

Kabodei94 · 7 months

More like two days

itsamario · 7 months

Must be a tube on the inside of his left hand/palm area feeding it with highly pressurized ketchup.

iwidiwin · 7 months

I saw a grown man at a restaurant the other day hold a bottle of ketchup perfectly straight up and down and slap the bottom of the bottle trying to get some out. I thought to myself "who in the hell in this day and age doesn't know how to do that the right way?"

stuffistuffy · 7 months

Need to post in r/nofap

941626460 · 7 months

Repost...but the caption was too priceless to downvote

Gawdzillers · 7 months

I can't wait until Christmas for it to load.

freezingprocess · 7 months

More like firing off a whole can of Silly String into a toilet.

Nobody tells you that it is almost impossible to jerk-off in Army basic training when you are signing up, btw. You have to learn the hard way.

HairlessSasquatch · 7 months

Imagine the nap after something of that magnitude. God damn

powerfulbuttblaster · 7 months

OH JEEZ OH MAN!

rossHousin · 7 months

Holy fuck, so glad I wasn't the only one.

8 months

[deleted]

Tricky_Dicky · 8 months

Kept reading this as "first time masturbating in over a mouth"

RawTuna · 8 months

I call bullshit. No fucking way any dude's ever gone a month without a fap since the day he started.

clevernamegoes_here · 8 months

The red makes this kind of disturbing..

fab11 · 8 months

Now we have a mess on our hands.....and legs.

KitchitiKipi · 8 months

i wish gifs would load for me =/ for some reason they always take like 5 minutes to get to the normal speed

Magnos · 8 months

[deleted]

funny

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