this post was submitted on
838 points (56% like it)
3,527 up votes 2,689 down votes

funny

subscribe2,425,143 readers

11,311 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 102 comments

[–]Gimmemormuny 199 points200 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I lose it at lizard every time this is reposted.

[–]xipheon 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I lose it first at hamster, but the lizard hammers it home.

[–]Jealousy123 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I lose it at Dog. But Cat really warms me up for it.

[–]wcpackerfan 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

lizard...

[–]sparkly_sparkle 136 points137 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have a pet lizard, and she spends most of her day lizarding.

[–]KingOfTheMonkeys 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yup. That one gets me every time.

[–]MalevolentSalamander 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I recall my beardy being oblivious to everything except moving food.

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

dammit you made me think the words ....everyday i'm lizarding...to the tune of the LMFAOs

[–]Superarty 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes, my lizard spends 100% of her time lizarding. My other one takes the hamster approach.

[–]arahman81 44 points45 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]potted 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can't not upvote you, that comic in particular always makes me laugh! MAGIC!

[–]zanhoshi 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Without even knowing the context I'm going to guess this is talking about dogs eating their own poop.

How'd I do?

[–]JonMW 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Close! It's vomit.

[–]zanhoshi 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Damn, shoulda gone with the Bible on this one.

As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly. -Proverbs 26:11

[–]Pander 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

... And here I thought you were making shit up. Bible, you crazy.

[–]Jer13 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Still not as crazy as Ezekiel 23:19-20.

Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt. There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

[–]Pander 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You sure that isn't from the book of clopclop?

[–]Zwatha 18 points19 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i have turtles, when i clean the tank i put them in a box so they don't get stuck under the couch. however it appears no cardboard box can contain sammy, he literally bites a hole in the cardboard and then proceeds to smash through like the Juggernaut from x men. it's hilarious and frustrating.

*edit grammar

[–]Mikuro 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Video?

[–]Zwatha 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i'll have to record it next time i clean the tank lol. but i started putting them in cage so this wouldn't happen. looks like i'll have to get a cardboard box.

[–]berthejew[S] 55 points56 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

suddenly, lizard.

[–]JudgementTime 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Then what happens? I have to know!

[–]traken 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lizard happens, of course.

[–]SOPA_NO 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Garroxx 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Infant = Animal check.

[–]FVAnon 24 points25 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

well, they technically are

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]FVAnon 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm not. Mainly because I am not a parent, nor do I have plans to become one, thank you very much.

But you may want to learn that human beings are, in fact, by definition, animals. :)

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]jimbozinoh 8 points9 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So... do you suppose we act like plants or inanimate objects instead?

Edit: Reply to "Well, I know that. That doesn't mean we have to act like them though."

[–]TACOfarmerXD 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hey I take pride in the art of woodsy tree standing

[–]gordofrog 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Photosynthesis. Photosynthesis.

[–]TACOfarmerXD 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cellular Respiration.

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]Octopuscabbage 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't like you.

[–]Lsky72 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm with this guy. Very much disliked.

[–]jimbozinoh 1 point2 points ago*

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Jeez, I'm trying to argue, that was the shitty joke.

Edit: Reply to "Jeez, I'm not trying to argue, it was just a shitty joke. The proverbial animal..."

[–]potted 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Why does it all have to be deleted! D:

[–]jimbozinoh 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

No need to worry! I have fixed it... kinda.

[–]berryhill 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes, that is correct.

What, you think humans are some amazing spiritual beings that isn't included in the species of the world? No, we're monkeys with less hair and more complicated brains.

[–]GeneralissimoKrump 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm sure you are.

[–]l312 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My lizard lizards for most of the day. It gets a bit weird when it's not lizarding.

[–]sir_derpsalot 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lizards gonna lizard

[–]thewasko 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

dog got me sad, then lizard was hysterical.

[–]Moomasterq 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i think that bird is dead

[–]Boolderdash 38 points39 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think the cat is dead. I also think it's alive.

[–]bru4242 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fuck dude, it's not even there. But it is there.

[–]VXXK 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You better take a look then.

[–]carlosmachina 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

NO, this kills the cat (at least 50% of the time, aprox.)

[–]ivydesert 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]pre4edgc 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wherever there is a post from SoTI, you are there to post the source. You are the hero we need, but not the one we deserve.

[–]Panu_Magish 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I got a friend named Schrodinger, who did this to his cat a little while ago.

[–]smartbomb314 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How did it turn out?

[–]ExistentialEnso 41 points42 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Until we hear back, let us simultaneously assume it went well and wen't badly.

[–]doxl 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Condolentulations.

[–]tinnman01 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

hamster beats box.

[–]UniFreak 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like it when he lizard'd

[–]goodBEan 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What happens when you put a redditor in a box?

[–]nickateen 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Masturbation.

[–]frankichiro 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm in a box. AMA.

[–]Simple-ish 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lizard? Lizard.

[–]rogerhahn 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cat= Dead and Alive

[–]cloudduel_13 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I like it a lot.

[–]m4tthew 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I too lizard when placed in the dark.

[–]Ev450 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cat: quantum superposition of life and death

[–]NutFalcon 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lizard is the first out loud laugh I've had browsing reddit

[–]ColumW 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think reddit is trying to set a record for how often something can be reposted.

[–]nickateen 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lizard did it for me, I'm a hysterical wreck!

[–]Derm 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cat, May or may not be dying.

[–]amjhwk 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if i put my dog in a box she would get out in seconds

[–]AlisInWonderland 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's because shes not retarded.

[–]Foolie 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I want a hamster!

... and a lizard...

Would my hamster eat my lizard?

[–]jesset77 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Where is Solid Snake on this list? D:

[–]icthus7 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]MeGrimlock4 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My dog turns into a tank and starts ramming things...he gets sad when the box is destroyed and tries to sleep in it. he's strange.

[–]Rebound 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cat: Sensory Overload and Not Sensory Overload

FTFY

[–]C_M_O_TDibbler 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

if you put my dog in the box he would turn it into box bits....he loves to destroy cardboard! he chooses a cardboard box over his toys most of the time

[–]Slakkadin 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Poor doggie :(

[–]SayWhatAgainNigga 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was really hoping there'd be some sort of dead/not dead picture for the cat. :(

[–]Badlilone 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Where did this come from? Twas very funny, and I can tell I would like any other artwork.

[–]Kevin_Wolf 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Perhaps its Something of that Ilk like it says in the watermark at the bottom of the image.

[–]berthejew[S] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Im new here :{

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

:{

How did that mustachioed man lose his mouth?

[–]berthejew[S] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

i figured the handlebar stache covered my grimace of personal distaste.

[–]Badlilone 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I didnt even notice that. Thanks!

[–]CrossCheckPanda -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Something of that ilk is not a corporation, its one person, who if gets enough publicity could theoretically have a comic strip instead of whatever crappy job he no doubt has.

Seriously, don't hide the source if its the equivalent of a small business.

[–]russiangn -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I took my kitten to the vet today and we got there and his nose was bleeding because he rubbed his face so hard against the box that it started to bleed. Also, I accidentally let my kitten talk into a flame...and he's sick now. This is seriously why I cannot have nice living things.

[–]starrynightgirl 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

ಠ_ಠ

[–]bhindblueiz -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I love how baby is considered a domestic animal. Granted mammals and blah blah.

[–]No1Complainer -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You forgot that when Lonely Island are inside a box, they start singing "I'm in a box"

[–]Diachy -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Down vote so old re-post is so old.

[–]eebsmageebs -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Bird's playing "nighttime/daytime?"