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all 70 comments

[–]Klettswell77 24 points25 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My name is Bruce and fish are friends:)=

[–]CoreyLahey 30 points31 points ago

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Why so scared.. little fishies? Want to know how I got these scars?

-The Shark Joker

[–]SrsSteel[!] 2 points3 points ago

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I've seen some things..

[–]ASesz 0 points1 point ago

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SHARKS LIVE IN WATER!! O.O

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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"Der-di-der, doop-da-doo. I Loves dah fishies. I loves da pink uns, dah yellah ones, and most of all, dah RED UNS! They are soooo fwendly! Der-di-doo, dip-di-dah."

[–]Elvis_the_pie_rat 14 points15 points ago

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Those are probably sex scars as well. Sharks tend to chomp on eachother mid-fuck.

[–]SoysauceMafia 31 points32 points ago

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TIL my ex girlfriend was part shark.

That explains those black, soulless eyes.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]SoysauceMafia 4 points5 points ago

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A sex doll would be insulted by the comparison.

[–]ronan81184 0 points1 point ago

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mid-fuck :-)

[–]rownin 25 points26 points ago

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if you like that shark check out the Megalodon - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megalodon

[–]MonotonousMan 2 points3 points ago

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That is pretty terrifying.

[–]LoopTransmission 3 points4 points ago

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We're gonna need a bigger boat.

[–]mrmyxlplyx 4 points5 points ago

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Well the two sharks took to fighting

And when they pulled them from the ocean floor

The great white looked like a jigsaw puzzle

With a couple of pieces gone

[–]bobslifeforu 6 points7 points ago

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And he's bad, bad Leroy Brown The baddest shark in the whole damn ocean Badder than Jaws Meaner than a crackhead narwhal!

[–]I_RARELY_RAPE_PEOPLE 5 points6 points ago

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...and after further investigation of what was believed to be the most bad ass shark on planet Earth, it was discovered the shark was actually mildly retarded, and had been bumping into rocks and coral reefs for its entire life. Scientists then concluded it was actually planet Earth's stupidest shark.

[–]Mobiuz 3 points4 points ago

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Imagine if he/she could tell his/her stories...

[–]primestar 2 points3 points ago

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thanks for the new wallpaper!

[–]TomTheNurse 2 points3 points ago

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Looks like at least some of those scars are from fish net entrapment.

[–]Heyitscharlie 3 points4 points ago

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and how do you know this? Not asking to be an ass just generally curious if you actually know or are just assuming that all sharks have been entrapped in fish nets.

[–]TomTheNurse 5 points6 points ago

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I am not an expert, this was conjecture. I live in the Florida Keys and I have fished my whole life. I have seen a few sharks dead in ghost nets over the years. There appears to be a checker like pattern above and behing its right eye that would be consistant with fish net entrapment.

[–]CarettaSquared 2 points3 points ago

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It also could have been another shark. Look at the eye, how there's scarring above and below. I've seen bitemarks on sea turtles before, the placements of the scars look similar.

[–]heyitsokay 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen things man, back in Nam..

[–]InterestinglySimilar 1 point2 points ago

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That shark has definitely fucked some shit up in his day!

[–]jimmypopali 1 point2 points ago

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Shark cage match.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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this shark yearns to be held.

[–]kizzzzurt 1 point2 points ago

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More like, "the most photoshopped shark on the Internet".

[–]lordeddardstark 5 points6 points ago

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Fish are friends not food

[–]JKELL 0 points1 point ago

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good one?

[–]WikiReddit 0 points1 point ago

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It was

[–]DrLob 1 point2 points ago

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Or the stupidest shark.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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nah, all stupidest ones are being killed

[–]DrLob 1 point2 points ago

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Fair enough, haha.

[–]enotsr22 0 points1 point ago

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That is the Steve McQueen of sharks.

[–]fysu 0 points1 point ago

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Shark week, come back!!!!!!

(Yes. I watched it. All week long.)

[–]proveordie 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, he lived on the Earth but now he lives on Fhloston.

[–]VulgarMouth 0 points1 point ago

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it's the de niro of sharks

[–]Buttpudding 0 points1 point ago

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Put it up against an orca. See what kind of scars it leaves.

[–]Kumquat159 0 points1 point ago

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I was thinking... Shark norris.

[–]AlmightyTurtleman 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck yeah hes a shark bitches.

[–]Solous 0 points1 point ago

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Either he's a badass or he had really bad acne.

[–]leeebling 0 points1 point ago

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A Megaloden shark would eat that tiddler right up!

[–]icarrymyhk 0 points1 point ago

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Deep down bob is just your normal shark, all he ever wanted was a nice coral reef , with a patch of eels in the front lawn, and a cozy spot to raise his pups, but that was to much to ask for from Poseidon.

bob Had just found the love of his life, Cindy and while courting her, he heard the call to arms ! the Scylla's had just invaded his mother land, Bob, being the young fearless shark, rushed to join the great shark army ! telling Cindy he'll be back one day to wed her, After long an bloody war, having to endure many hardships bob and the great shark army, had finally defeated the Scylla's, only to find that Cindy, had died in a tragic accident when trying to birth, his pups, bob heart broken over the loss of the love his life set out on a mission to find his pups who would be near adult age.

bob searched high and low, covering many miles and oceans, after many years of searching, bob returned home, heart broken and confused he turned to the bottle. to drowned the horrors of war, and the heart ache he felt for Cindy, and his missing children. one drunken night, bob was talking to his local bartender who let him on a secret the town had not told him, Cindy was giving to the Scylla's when they raided the town, those many years ago, as a peace offering if you will. and so now, once again the old beaten shark, that once lead the great shark army into battle, put on his armor, to find the love of his life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck, I'm not swimming in the ocean ever again, EVER!

[–]maltwyrm 0 points1 point ago

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Fish are friends. Not food!

[–]ChakraFreak 0 points1 point ago

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Those are bite marks from mating. From being torpedo shaped, needless to say, it is difficult for sharks to lock their bodies side by side. So the male would latch on with the retractable jaw all sharks are equipped with. Their is also another large scar on the mouth, probably a fishing accident, or a sharking victim that was able to tear itself off the hook. Judging by how many scars the shark has, this would be a very large, very old shark. >-,>

[–]spaceman88 0 points1 point ago

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Bruce?

[–]Xena93 0 points1 point ago

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oh fuck I hate sharks.

[–]Gonza197 1 point2 points ago

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They're freaking beautiful man

[–]simplybebop 0 points1 point ago

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Getting his ass kicked doesn't equate with being a bad ass.

[–]jerry034 -1 points0 points ago

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this shark is fkn awesome!

[–]Sodfarm -1 points0 points ago

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probably the most badass shark ever lived on the Earth

Actually, I think the most badass shark ever was Space Shark