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Kiva

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all 195 comments

[–]Cozmo23 145 points146 points ago

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We did 57 takes and that was the best one.

[–]jammasterdj 54 points55 points ago

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Are you the same crew that shot this

[–]irawwwr 41 points42 points ago

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DAT ASS

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points ago

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It's like 3 pixels including the bathing suit, how can you tell?

[–]__BlackSheep 30 points31 points ago

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She's got pixels in all the right places.

[–]awells1 9 points10 points ago

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I could sense his misery towards life at the very start. Someone should've killed him then

[–]CollegeStudnt 10 points11 points ago

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[–]HoratioHufnagel 3 points4 points ago

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[–]floatablepie 0 points1 point ago

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Get me his non-union Mexican equivalent!

[–]speilberg0 11 points12 points ago

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You called?

[–]Dukelicious 0 points1 point ago

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What a Duketastrophy!

[–]AreWhyAyeEhn 18 points19 points ago

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I know this guy. His name is King James. He lived on the streets of Laguna Beach for years. When I was out there he always used to come hang out with several Natural Ice's and watch us skimboard. He followed us back to our house once and just stood in the middle of the Pacific Coast Highway with a tallboy of Natty Ice in his hand. He started to stumble forward and then ended up running full speed and facing into the front bumper of a parked car.

This man is a living legend.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Tell him I totally read his bible, would read again.

[–]OMGfriedbacn 1 point2 points ago

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'Lived on the streets of Laguna Beach for years'. Not anymore?

[–]AreWhyAyeEhn 1 point2 points ago

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I haven't been out there for a few years, but back when I was in college I would go every few months and he was always there. He could still be around, but I haven't heard his name in quite a while. This video is about 6-7 years old.

[–]i_want_more_foreskin 2 points3 points ago

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I want nothing more than for this to be true

[–]atomicspatule 2 points3 points ago

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Not even... foreskin?

[–]AreWhyAyeEhn 0 points1 point ago

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100% true

[–]FFEMT39 31 points32 points ago

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He never had a chance of being successful.

[–]Mailman7 13 points14 points ago

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I expected the fall to come much earlier.

[–]forgotten_boy 11 points12 points ago

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It's impressive how he catches himself using his face

[–]FFEMT39 7 points8 points ago

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At first, I thought there was no way he was going to try and board considering his jeans and jacket.

[–]SparraticDitto 0 points1 point ago

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and boots....at the beach

[–]butterisbetter 1 point2 points ago

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From the first step I knew this was not going to end well.

[–]lordofherrings 0 points1 point ago

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Yes, this hit so close to home that it is now the gif for the "about me" section of my Facebook.

It used to be this one. Not anymore it is...

[–]rotzooi 29 points30 points ago

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This is how most attempts at frontpaging work out.

[–]Mr_Hangover 0 points1 point ago

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But this one worked ;)

[–]AndyRooney 55 points56 points ago

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He clearly forgot an important step.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Shadax 50 points51 points ago

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I had only seen the one where he rockets away. I had no idea this man shat himself into the lake.

[–]IAMBollock 31 points32 points ago

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...and the dog jumps into his shit... poor dog, he didn't even know.

[–]troyANDabed 25 points26 points ago

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I once went camping with my dog. I went to do my business in the woods and returned to the campsite feeling relieved. Not 2 minutes later, my Labrador comes running through the campsite, turd in mouth and as happy as can be.

So, maybe the dog isn't as upset as you would believe.

[–]Horace_P_McTitties 8 points9 points ago

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...turd in mouth and as happy as can be.

You know, I think this might be the first time I've seen this exact order of words on the internet.

[–]amoore12 11 points12 points ago

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You haven't seen quite enough internet.

[–]Vincent133 1 point2 points ago

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dog doesn't care

dog doesn't judge you

[–]redphive 4 points5 points ago

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haha same here, still lol'ing.

[–]ReducedFat[S] 3 points4 points ago

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Yep, high in difficulty points for sure

[–]SingForMaya 13 points14 points ago

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is... is that poop?

[–]AndyRooney 19 points20 points ago

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I like to think of it as rocket fuel. But I'm an optimist.

[–]rotzooi 6 points7 points ago

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I really hope you work at NASA.

[–]bigdubs 7 points8 points ago

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just when you think you and your friends do drunk things at the lake house, the internet comes along

[–]iziizi 3 points4 points ago*

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Totally want to see the video

EDIT: Found it!

[–]Strike3 2 points3 points ago

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Sounded like there were multiple people there including women. What. The. Fuck.

[–]NeverConfused 2 points3 points ago

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Help me here. Should I be impressed or disgusted?

[–]AndyRooney 0 points1 point ago

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Both

[–]NeverConfused 2 points3 points ago

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I'm not capable of that many emotions at once.

[–]AndyRooney 2 points3 points ago

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Oh yeah, I forgot - you're a redditor. I was fooled by your username.

[–]NeverConfused 2 points3 points ago

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What.

[–]AndyRooney 2 points3 points ago

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I said:

Oh yeah, I forgot - you're a redditor. I was fooled by your username.

[–]NeverConfused 2 points3 points ago

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Ohh.

[–]Ordovician_Being 2 points3 points ago

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Cannonball Dookie

[–]morkoq 5 points6 points ago

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i've seen this gif a million times but never noticed the dog.

[–]Zorrac 0 points1 point ago

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What did I just see.

[–]redman2014 7 points8 points ago

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This would be nothing without the pants falling down.

[–]relevant_rule34 51 points52 points ago

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[–]ALGUIENoALGO 52 points53 points ago

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[–]Colbeagle[!] 15 points16 points ago

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I'm not a soccer fan, why does he have 2 watches?

[–]geobomb 12 points13 points ago

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Thats Maradona, the ex-Argetinan soccer coach. One watch was for local time, the other for the time in Argentina

[–]WillSnipeForPie 5 points6 points ago

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because it is so hard to add/subtract a few hours

[–]sexual_inurendo 14 points15 points ago

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He doesn't have time for foolish math equations

[–]illtakethebox -5 points-4 points ago

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ahahahahahaha

[–]silentcrs 0 points1 point ago

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He did say he was involved with soccer.

[–]hirashirou 22 points23 points ago

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So he can time himself regardless of which hand he uses that day.

[–]R4mbo 4 points5 points ago

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Some coaches like to have a watch exclusively to time the game, the other one is probably his daily watch.

[–]Sergnb 4 points5 points ago

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one's regular time, other's fap time

[–]stanfan114 5 points6 points ago

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TIME to FAP

[–]RedHerringxx 7 points8 points ago

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This man speaks the truth.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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NSFW? Like that ever stopped me before....

[–]Cutsprocket 2 points3 points ago

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welcome back

[–]w1ll1amz 2 points3 points ago

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Man I wanna click this link so bad ;l

[–]ReducedFat[S] 6 points7 points ago

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How did you know that was what I wanted in return!

[–]Ferbtastic 1 point2 points ago

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because it's the same thing you always want

[–]haleystorm -3 points-2 points ago

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Sorry buddy, that's not a boogie board.

[–]perfect_disguise -3 points-2 points ago

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technically not rule 34, but good god thank you for this wonderfully relevant to my interests picture.

[–]will_at_work 11 points12 points ago

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why does he have on jeans and a coat in an activity where he is sure to get wet?

[–]Vitalstatistix 6 points7 points ago

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My guess is this is something from the equivalent of "Bum Fights".

[–]TheNr24 2 points3 points ago

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He thought he could stay upon the board?

[–]Horace_P_McTitties 0 points1 point ago

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I think there's alcohol involved.

[–]Stratocaster89 6 points7 points ago

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That bum is probably thinking the $10 he got paid to try that really wasnt worth it.

[–]sweatpants2 6 points7 points ago

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[–]CountNoAccount 1 point2 points ago

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Bum surfing!

[–]knarf_navillus 0 points1 point ago

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Beach bum.

[–]wurkwurk 0 points1 point ago

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Nope, regular bum.

[–]PeopleAreStaring 9 points10 points ago

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My attempts at seduction.

[–]Lurk4r 2 points3 points ago

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"Hold my beer and watch this."

[–]dinimer 9 points10 points ago

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almost...

[–]unusedalias 6 points7 points ago

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so close...

[–]cowabungal 6 points7 points ago

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next time...

[–]jaxioni 4 points5 points ago

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nearly...

[–]Ihasn 3 points4 points ago

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Do'h

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Ow my face!

[–]jcek 9 points10 points ago

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[–]TheNr24 5 points6 points ago

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What's that silly movie called again?

[–]Waitin4Snowfall 5 points6 points ago

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Idiocracy

[–]sciencefor 4 points5 points ago

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SHUT UP. I'M BATIN'

[–]create_account_taken 2 points3 points ago

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belt ftw.

[–]hrnh 2 points3 points ago

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The beach is always a good place to see the crack of dawn

[–]magicbullets 3 points4 points ago

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Who the hell donates low rent surfboards to the homeless?

[–]mehrman 15 points16 points ago

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It's a skimboard.

[–]Vondi 8 points9 points ago

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People who recognize the potential for comedy.

[–]Elidor 0 points1 point ago

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Some latter-day Mother Theresa from California. Saint Theresa of the Waves.

And she said unto them: I have no fish, my children, so here's a surfboard for each of you. For if you teach a man to surf, he will be a useless hippie fuck for the rest of his days. The waves will carry you home." And then she gave them each some mids and paddled out beyond the horizon. They looked in vain for her to return on a wave, but she never came again.

[–]PsychoticPlatypus 1 point2 points ago

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oh...ohhh.. nope.

[–]TsunamiMommy 1 point2 points ago

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Perhaps the best visual definition of derp I've ever seen.

[–]gochris 1 point2 points ago

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I can't decide if it's funny or sad.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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The gif is funny, but the video is sad, because he's clearly an alcoholic, and probably a transient as well.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]rkirkpa1 1 point2 points ago

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Jack Black is that you?

[–]bigcarddawg 1 point2 points ago

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Probably the only water his body has seen in a while

[–]TheRnegade 1 point2 points ago

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I used to have a roommate who looks exactly like him. In fact, I think this is him, the bum.

[–]123GoTeamShake 1 point2 points ago

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For some reason, this just made me incredibly sad.

[–]qp0n 1 point2 points ago

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Acid can be a painful drug.

[–]Relevant_Movie_Qote 1 point2 points ago

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"I had lost my sight, bt I got something back in retrn. My remaining for senses fnctioned with sperhman sharpness. Bt most amazing of all, my sense of sond gave off a kind of radar sense."

[–]F-That 1 point2 points ago

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So some little surf rats talk a homeless guy into skim boarding. Good times.

[–]F-Thatsbiggestfan 1 point2 points ago

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Totally with F-That on this.

[–]eazyp 1 point2 points ago

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Then the spaghetti fell out of his fanny pack.

[–]Winterloss 1 point2 points ago

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Just when you think he can't fail harder. ...He does.

[–]Wargall 1 point2 points ago

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This is basically how we in Florida view our tourists.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]js74793 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Wargall -2 points-1 points ago

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And Florida views the rest of the country as poor, shitty inland-dwellers

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Wargall -1 points0 points ago

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Foreclosures only happen to plebeians who aren't financially stable. Enjoy your shitty weather and no beaches.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Wargall -1 points0 points ago

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House hasn't been damaged by a hurricane since it was built, we've been through Ivan, Katrina, you name it. Again, only plebeian shithouses get destroyed by hurricanes. And if you've ever been to Florida you'd know that every area except key west (and some other parts of the southern tip) have the same amount of geriatrics as anywhere else. Maybe you just can't afford to visit the sunshine state.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Wargall 0 points1 point ago

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You realize Hurricanes are predictable and avoidable right? I'd MUCH rather live here than earthquake-prone california, or the shithole tornado alley midwest. And I love how you're judging beaches even though I'd put money on the fact that you've never been to any of them. Also, so much for reading comprehension - I just said that almost all of them are cooped up in the extreme southern tip. Besides, why do you think they come here? Why do you think they leave shitty states like yours for Florida? Please think about that one for a bit.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]amazinnn 0 points1 point ago

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Yes kids, this is NOT how you skimboard.

[–]joekickass1234 0 points1 point ago

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drunk people are awesome

[–]hogfish29 0 points1 point ago

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This is now my favorite gif, thank you.

[–]izoomie 0 points1 point ago

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Made me laugh out loud

[–]sruvolo 0 points1 point ago

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Did watching this make anyone else think of Gob?

[–]Nicholad 0 points1 point ago

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Homeless looking dude takes a tumble...

[–]Shnazzyone 0 points1 point ago

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GASP! MAN ASS! NSFW!

[–]smokecat20 0 points1 point ago

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He did it right.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You would think with a body that fat he could find jeans tight enough not to fall.

[–]probo1 0 points1 point ago

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He dropped his derpboard

[–]DaRkWeAvEr 0 points1 point ago

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fuck yeah!

[–]Woozy1 0 points1 point ago

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And that's why you wear a nice belt/pants that actually fit...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]haleystorm 1 point2 points ago

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He was trying to skimboard. You can slide across the 2 inches of water really fast.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]haleystorm 0 points1 point ago

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Oh, I thought you just didn't know what it was. I guess he was trying to skimboard in full bum attire.

[–]Zamusu 0 points1 point ago

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This happened at Salt Creek Beach right?

[–]bokbok 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah looks like Laguna or Newport. Expecially since Salt Creek is the spot for skimming.

[–]SlipperyDickoryDock 0 points1 point ago

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That was better than I ever expected!

[–]jmart1375 0 points1 point ago

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I liked the part where he fell on his face trying to run into the ocean.

[–]alnick06 0 points1 point ago

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a part of me thought he was going to pull off some sweet move

[–]fangsby 0 points1 point ago

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A part of me thinks he did just that.

[–]Apokilipse 0 points1 point ago

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Skimboards... the silent killer of beach noobs.

[–]Conradfr 0 points1 point ago

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What's the plan, Phil ?

[–]CurlyJeff 0 points1 point ago

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grats on getting front page with a gif version of this video i posted a week ago

[–]Epod15 0 points1 point ago

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what did he expect low-riding like that, silly man.

[–]stepcut251 0 points1 point ago

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Is that wind and sea beach in La Jolla ?

[–]VWBusMan 0 points1 point ago

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I was going to share the link to my FB, but then felt bad for the bum, they probably entice him with beer to give the board a shot....

[–]therealtomgreen 0 points1 point ago

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That's how my day is going..

[–]DaNizzles 0 points1 point ago

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watch out for loose seals

[–]Arthur2ShedsJackson 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks for not putting "How my attempts to get to the front page look like" in the title.

[–]Dxtuned 0 points1 point ago

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God...I must know the story behind this gif. I crack up every time I watch it.

[–]CurlyJeff 0 points1 point ago

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I submitted the video just over a week ago. it's basically a drunk dude borrowing some kids skim board.

[–]Dxtuned 0 points1 point ago*

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HAHAHA, That's all I needed to know...I will now upvote your video and all of your other comments. Thank you for this my good man.

::edit:: - Hmmm, the original video is down due to "hate speech". What the hell were you guys saying?

[–]CurlyJeff 1 point2 points ago

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Well i don't know why it says that, there's no hate speech in the video. I wasn't the one who recorded it or uploaded it i just found it when it was newly uploaded to youtube.
SOPA is coming...

[–]Dxtuned 0 points1 point ago

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feels like it's already here =/

[–]ronintetsuro 0 points1 point ago

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Critical Fail, textbook definition.

[–]cvcvcvcv 0 points1 point ago

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like a boss

[–]andrethecat 0 points1 point ago

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I love that it just stops once it hits the sand. And then he falls.

[–]Maverick60hp 1 point2 points ago

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and then buttcrack.

[–]rygarths 0 points1 point ago

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I'm from the west coast. It's not a surfboard. It's a skimboard. It works by using the surface tension in an inch or less of water. He should be going parallel with the ocean at least to start.

[–]fairbits 7 points8 points ago

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Skimmer here - actually, it's more of an east coast thing to start out parallel to the beach because the waves are generally smaller here and the beaches tend to have less of an incline, so you have to depend on your running speed to reach the wave rather than the speed you obtain from sliding down a steep beach. Usually when the waves are pretty large like, say in California, you'll want to be perpendicular because of the incline. But, whatever, I just came here to see this clip once again haha

[–]dipandchips 1 point2 points ago

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This was filmed a little north of Aliso Creek in Laguna Beach, CA. You ever skim there?

[–]fairbits 1 point2 points ago

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No, as much as I would like to, I haven't. I've been to California twice and both times I focused on surfing. Surfed HB, Trestles, Santa Cruz, and Pacific Beach.

[–]rygarths 0 points1 point ago

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Well, I'm from Newport Oregon. We have flatter beaches than most places in California. Whenever I went and whenever I see people do it, its always parallel, cuz you can get a really long ride. I think in California its a different ball game altogether. But whatever.

[–]fairbits 0 points1 point ago

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we'll leave it at (flat beaches - parallel) and (sloped beaches - perpendicular) then haha

[–]ToAllAGoodNight 0 points1 point ago

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OP is lame.

[–]d_tosh_0 -1 points0 points ago

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... And that's why you never go boogie boarding after huffing Drano. Alright, let's take another look at this beach bum's phenomenal display of agility in this week's Breakdown:

OK, pause it right there on the first frame. Now, the ocean can be a little chilly in the mornings, so I'm going to let the wind breaker slide. Hey, be nice; some people in so-cal simply can't afford wet suits.. They're usually politely referred to as vagrants.

Honestly, his approach needs some work.. I'm not sure if he's shuffling that way because he's retarded or-- who am I kidding? He's the definition of retarded. He's wearing a visor, a jacket, jeans, and some sort of performance/hiking footwear to the beach.

I don't think his timing could be worse. Clearly, he and the ocean are not on the same wavelength during this attempt.

I'm so glad he rolled up his jeans, because I don't think he would have absolutely nailed that landing otherwise. To add insult to injury, he gets a wave in the face. There's nothing like a mouth full of sea water in the morning. And just look at that moon! No wonder the tides are so high today. I guess he forgot to put on a bungee this morning.. And for that, we thank you.

[–]CurlyJeff 0 points1 point ago

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Skim boarding* FTFY

[–]ojolejano -1 points0 points ago

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I love how his pants slide down and he doesn't even notice

[–]RevLoki -1 points0 points ago

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This is how I feel every Monday morning.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]WhyYouMadThough 0 points1 point ago

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Your dad is homeless?

[–]cjkonecnik -1 points0 points ago

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Ironic username, OP.

[–]madmanmunt -2 points-1 points ago

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Abject failure, defined abjectly.