this post was submitted on
674 points (58% like it)
2,430 up votes 1,756 down votes

funny

subscribe2,385,473 readers

18,616 users here now

PLEASE, No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 50 comments

[–]jackm3hoff 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Ah, ah, I almost forgot...I'm also going to need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday, too. We, uhhh, lost some people this week and we sorta need to play catch-up. Mmmmmkay? Thaaaaaanks."

[–]Hamster_Huey 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

So about those TPS reports...

[–]Kubaker1 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

please be on time.

[–]jasontimmur 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sometimes I'll get a phone call ten or fifteen minutes before the end of the day. If I actually answer it, my boss will look at me and say, "what the fuck are you answering your phone for? It's almost time to go. Hang it up."

I like my job.

[–]fawker 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

meanwhile, he makes sure the higher ups know you're not much of a go getter at the end of the day

[–]jasontimmur 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

*she.

But no, she stops answering her phone an hour before the end of the day. I work in insurance and she's made it very clear to me that "in this line of work, there's no such thing as an emergency."

She's also told me that if I happen to wake up one morning and don't feel like going to work, if I have vacation left, just don't show up. Everything can wait until the next day. She doesn't give a shit.

I love my job.

[–]fawker -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you must work for my last insurance company

at one point I was told to google a repair center to look at a broken lcd monitor, or they wouldn't honor the computer equipment policy I had (they wouldn't name a repair center)

who the fuck takes apart lcd monitors?

I mentioned I would be bringing it by the address I have for them listed on google, so they coul look at it personally, and things got handled relatively fast after that

cancelled them the next day, after it was resolved

[–]jasontimmur 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hah not unless you file a lot of worker's comp claims. That's all I work with. :)

[–]Buglet91 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh my God, I can't stop watching it! The face at the ends just gets me!

[–]jackass706 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You say, "sure, no problem. I'll get right on that first thing tomorrow."

[–]shutup721[S] 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Generally, yes.. but I pull this one out when he turns around.

[–]sadintern 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I make a poopy face every time my boss comes to my cubicle.

[–]all_knowing_fish 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was going make a poo comment but you beat me too it.

[–]sadintern 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm always the first in the poo.

[–]all_knowing_fish 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I guess in just...... number two

[–]sadintern 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you win, sir and/or ma'am

[–]all_knowing_fish 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

not really cause I put "in" insted of i'm.

[–]MineTorA 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What is the origin of this gif?

[–]shutup721[S] 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I believe it's from Look Who's Talking Now.

[–]Lots42 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I could watch that movie all the time.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pretty sure that girl is wicked hot now, if I remember correctly.

[–]rplush 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]nachomuchacho69 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Andralynn 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I got asked to do two weeks worth of work to be finished in an hour before quitting time. After blinking a couple of times in amazement out popped a "umm, no." somehow they still love me ;)

[–]dropkickninja 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

cant stop watching. also, this is true. i will send this to him next time he does it.

[–]Zmayne 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Is your boss a dog by any chance?

[–]rowanm 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Who's the poodle in this scenario?

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Seeing as how the dog has the 'bitch, what the fuck' look, probably the boss.

[–]Salger12 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hahaha! I would like to know what this is from.

[–]JimmyDThing 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Mine does this weekly and pretends not to remember what time I leave.

[–]nermid 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I go ahead and do it, because I'm paid for time spent on the clock, not work completed. So, if she asks me to do a 10 minute job, and leaves 5 minutes into it, it becomes a 15 minute job.

That may only be 87 cents-worth of slacking, but it's a spiteful 87 cents.

I can only imagine how I would operate if I were paid by output instead of time.

[–]Zsamot 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's my reaction when customers come in 5 minutes before my restaurant closes.

[–]Zsamot -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

...and sometimes it works on getting them to leave.

[–]Zsamot -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

...did I just reply to myself?

[–]lubacious 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'll bet it's Ender, putting a space at the end again.

[–]d1ggitydan 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

One of the few things that gets reposted constantly and makes me laugh every god damn time. I don't know why or how. It just does.

[–]empressalex 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Captures the sentiment exactly.

[–]Combo_Beaker 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

perfect. thank you for this, made my day lol

[–]cookiemonsterandRitz 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

LOL

[–]chakada92 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

NOSTRIL POWER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[–]Uncleharley -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Children like that just need to be held...................underwater.

[–]ProximaC 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My response: Alright, I'll clear my plate for this tomorrow morning first thing.

[–]TheAwakeGirl -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ugliest child actor ever

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you're a cubicle worker my advice is to leave your computer on and go for an end-of-day bathroom break. Out of sight out of mind.

[–]Punkgoblin -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A five-year-old crochety ol' lady, who knew they were born like that?

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]LittleInfidel 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Featured Above: A boss

They count as work, but about 9/10 what the boss asks for takes at least 20 minutes or more.

[–]hg38 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Usually this time is best used wrapping things up and reviewing open items, not starting something completely new.

I feel like many bosses use this as a trick to get extra work out of their employees. They could have brought up that critical item an hour ago but they wait till 5:25 ... ahh i think i hear him coming ...

[–]homeyG75 -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh God, I've seen this GIF so many times I just want to punch myself in the face.

[–]WhalesAreScaryAsFuck 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

just commenting cause i thought you might be lonely down here, cheers bud.

[–]Paclac -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What's he doing with a purple dildo?