this post was submitted on
642 points (59% like it)
2,035 up votes 1,393 down votes

funny

subscribe2,233,614 readers

No posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Example.


Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • Screenshots of comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress.

  • Rage comics - Go to /fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

top 200 commentsshow all 230

[–]jceez 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

After being in a relationship with a girl on the pill...... having sex with a condom feels... exactly like I have a layer of rubber on my dick while fucking.

[–]TrevorPace 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's what it always feels like.

[–]hohohomer 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Beyond Seven condoms are pretty nice, if you need a rubber. But, it still feels better without them.

[–]sachegrande 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

IUD. SIS. Stay in school 'cus it's the best.

[–]strothgar 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Egads. Educate myself in thy Education of Peaches!

[–]julzwantsacookie 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

sex on the beachez

[–]dewofthemoutain 73 points74 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If the woman was on top it doesnt matter.

[–]michaelje0 21 points22 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I assume people downvoted because they didn't catch your obvious joke on old and inaccurate theories on sex. I thought it was funny.

If you were serious, well, still funny.

[–]T-Luv 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]Udub 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HUSTLA DA RABBIT

[–]Geno_is_God 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's just common knowledge.

[–]Jean-Baptiste1763 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not where I live. Good thing too, because it's not true!

[–]xMalnutrition 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

GRAVITY

[–]s0nicfreak 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

After meeting a 28 year old that honestly believed a woman could wash sperm out in a shower after having sex to prevent pregnancy, I can no longer find jokes like this funny.

[–]Jean-Baptiste1763 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

  • Stable relationship

  • Kids born and raised

  • Vasectomy

Condoms?

[–]Glitchmike 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

  • No relationship

  • Don't want kids

  • Vasectomy

Condoms?

[–]Kowzorz 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

STDs?

[–]fizzrate 17 points18 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

  • He's got those

[–]Glitchmike 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Even I had to upvote this.

[–]Glitchmike 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Known partners, regular testing.

[–]maniacalxmatt[S] 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Vasectomy? Thanks, but no thanks. No doctor is snipping at my junk again. I was circumcised twice.

[–]Ashlynkat 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Twice? As a female, this has me curious.

[–]ProfessorD2 34 points35 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"As a female?" Female or not, that's a curious penis history right there!

[–]Ashlynkat 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

LOL....well I was willing to accept that there was common Penis 101 knowledge about foreskin that most girls are ignorant of.

Case in point: Apparently the foreskin can grow back in some cases.

[–]DogPencil 27 points28 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The penis mightier.

[–]i_uh_wut 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This has my vote for comment of the month

[–][deleted] ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[deleted]

[–]CoupledPerfect 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You don't get the joke, but it's ok I won't downvote you

[–]barnacle-station 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The more you know!

[–]ZackVee -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Your username troubles me.

[–]Damianvv 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There have been cases of it frowning back. Hell you can grow it back as an adult (it will look weird as fuck though). There was a Bullshit! episode about circumcision.

[–]archlich 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

=(

[–]jess_in_chains 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

lol every now and then the doctors "Fuck up" on the circumcision thing. They kind of "guess" on how to cut the skin, because the penis is not fully developed, and in some cases the penis can get infected heavily on a regular basis no matter how much it is cleaned, so then they have to go in and do it again. This has happened to my ex, so I know about it :D

[–]maniacalxmatt[S] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I honestly wish I knew more about it. I was a baby when they did it the first time. I was about 3 or 4 when they did it the second time. I have vague memories about being in the hospital, but no real memories of why it was needed a second time or anything.

[–]The_Prince1513 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

maybe you were born a chick and they just like, glued a dick onto you or something.

[–]DogPencil 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Makes pefect sense. I'm sure this is it...

[–]maniacalxmatt[S] 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You sir... Are.... BRILLIANT! :D

[–]Ashlynkat 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow....definitely seems like there is probably more to the story that your parents haven't told you about yet.

Either that or you had foreskin like Chuck Norris that grows back.

[–]uneducatedredneck 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

parents probably didnt take care of him while it was healing

[–]DogPencil 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Man, your foreskin is amazing. It can't be stopped.

[–]loller 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Twice for me too! Allergic reaction when I was a baby.

[–]DarnTheseSocks 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Once for the foreskin and once for the aftskin.

[–]Ashlynkat 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What about the starboard skin?

[–]Indoorsman 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This now has me curious, can you be circumcised as an adult?

[–]SpartanAltair15 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes, but it's usually a bad idea unless you're having serious problems.

I mean, do you really want a damn razor sharp blade within 3 feet of your junk?

[–]s0nicfreak 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Which just goes to show it's a bad idea to do it on infants too. If they could say "fuck no keep that far away from my dick" they probably would.

[–]SpartanAltair15 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Not going to comment on that. Too much of a can of worms I don't feel like dealing with currently.

[–]archlich 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

When I shave my face it's about three feet away.

[–]SpartanAltair15 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You shave with a scalpel?

Damn, you're hardcore.

[–]spazmodic- 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The human cork oak has arrived; the prophecy has been fulfilled!

[–]michaelje0 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow is your username a Children of Paradise reference?

[–]Jean-Baptiste1763 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Wow, but no...

Very first time I was lurking on Reddit, I came across a comment that was slanderous against the Québécois. I just had to open an account to reply! Of course, the username is in the theme of that reaction. Jean-Baptiste is the name of my French ancestor who boarded a tall ship in Saint-Malo and emigrated to Nouvelle-France, and 1763 is the year of the Traité de Paris, by which France ceded Nouvelle-France to England.

But thanks for asking!

[–]michaelje0 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh okay cool. Its also the name of the main character in an old French film.

[–]PirateTex 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ditto. Best decision ever :)

[–]weekendofsound 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How much does a vasectomy cost?

[–]Jean-Baptiste1763 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm in Montréal. It could cost the price of the taxi ride from the clinic, but my gf drove me.

[–]weekendofsound 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Uh... do you know any cute girls who are looking for a deadbeat husband?

[–]ladyjane_95136 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

name relevant.

[–]Jean-Baptiste1763 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's the name of an ancestor, really. My own kids weren't baptized.

[–]Yohimbine 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

  • Stable relationship with girl on hormonal birth control
  • Coitus Interruptus

No need to have anyone snip inside my scrotum. Your way is good too though, just harder to accomplish.

[–]Mr_Outside 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Vasectomy? U cereal?

[–]Jean-Baptiste1763 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Cereal? U Tommy?

[–]warmfruit 111 points112 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

this is my reaction to when i have sex with one.

[–]tahollow 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I hate sex with condoms. My wife had to go on birth control recently due to medical issues. Feelsgoodman

[–]baconandgravy 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I think that's why I prefer long term relationships. You don't have to worry about std's, and you also don't have to worry about condoms. Win!

[–]tahollow 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yea man! Plus being married really is awesome! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise! (as long as you find the right partner obviously)

[–]some88d00d 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

tHIS. getting married in a week and I love finding people who understand what marriage is supposed to be; not the hollow sham that celebrities are turning it into.

[–]tahollow 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Congratulations! My wedding day was the best day of my life and I hope yours is as amazing as mine was! Have fun!

[–]some88d00d 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Thanks man I appreciate it!

[–]sw10 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What its like when she gets up at night to take a shit?

[–]weekendofsound 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You also have WAY more sex. In my experience.

[–]dixiegunsmoke 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I read that as long distance.

My first thought was, "well no shit, you are 6k miles from the hole."

[–]baconandgravy 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I lol'd

[–]wmurray003 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

..but you have to worry about getting pregnant...

[–]baconandgravy -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

not if she is on the pill

[–]wmurray003 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lol... haven't you read any of the previous comments?.... you do realize that the pill can be compromised? ...I know that you will come back with a statement saying, "The pill is 99.99% effective" ...well I don't think you truly understand what that means.

[–]baconandgravy -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

not getting into this argument.

[–]ProfessorD2 23 points24 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hatred of Condoms + Paranoia of STDs = Forever Alone

[–][deleted] 127 points128 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, that's what's been holding you back all this time...

[–]myou 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"get off of me, woman!"

[–]T-Luv 9 points10 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm more paranoid about getting a girl pregnant than STD's. Getting a girl pregnant means I have to be a dad way before I ever planned to. An STD might ruin my sex life forever, but I can still fap, and at least I didn't bring a life into the world that I don't have the ability to support. Whenever I have sex without a condom, I count down the days until I can be reasonably sure the girl didn't get pregnant. Based on the number of times I've lucked out, I think I might be sterile...

[–]pime 18 points19 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Based on the number of times I've lucked out, I think I might be sterile...

I'm just going to say this.

DONT EVER MAKE THAT ASSUMPTION.

[–]KeigaTide 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

From experience.

[–]maniacalxmatt[S] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I kind of have the same mindset as that guy about potentially being sterile. I'm an idiot, what can I say? lol

[–]wmurray003 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're right Pime, it'll be that time he's with the girl he doesn't wanna be with when his theory is proven wrong.

[–]CosmicSlopShop 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

just be selective when you choose partners and you don't have to worry about STDs bro

herpestrollface.jpg

[–]maniacalxmatt[S] 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Haha. It does feel much better without the condom.

[–]TheDirtySockMonkey 16 points17 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Only Sailors Use Condoms, Baby"

[–]shantos 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"not in the nineties, austin!"

[–]klsi832 22 points23 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Well they should, those filthy buggers. They go from port to port.

[–]xWillieBx 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just found out that Im going to be a Dad because of it. I havent told anyone about it so I felt that reddit could be my safehaven for that information

[–]shiner_man 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Congratulations?

[–]Scarfington 10 points11 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

IUD.

Condoms?

[–]2-ScoopIceCream 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hell yes. Every now and then I feel little fibers poking my dick though.

[–]Scarfington 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My boyfriends have never complained about that, but it is a known issue.

But it's worth it to me. NO BABBIES EVER. :D Seriously, the IUD is so effective, and so low maintenance, I'm surprised it's not more popular. :)

[–]Incredipants 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It was awesome until i realized it was probably to blame for severely erratic emotions/depression. Got it removed and i became much more stable.

[–]Scarfington 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Aw, that's really unfortunate. Mines been fine hormonally. You could try the copper variety. No hormones in that. Though, apparently it is slightly (less than 1%) less effective and will make your periods harsher. But still.

[–]Incredipants 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Oh yeah, I should have specified that mine was hormonal (mirena). Luckily, I have no need for female birth control because my fiance had a vasectomy...but yeah, I probably would try out a copper iud if I needed a new birth control method.

[–]Scarfington 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Mine is also the mirena, but it's been fine on my hormones. :) But vasectomy's are also great. :D

[–]CosmicSlopShop -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yea...you have to of have given birth to get most(all?) IUDs...I'm pretty sure that's why every female doesn't just pop one in there..

[–]Scarfington 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have one and I've never given birth. They used to do that, and some places still do, but most gynecologists are over that now.

[–]hawaiiandave 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Dude the moment you go to get a condom and she says you don't have to. Oh god so good.

[–]timetide 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

.................................................................. o.0

[–]Hydrochloric 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just rawdog it baby

NOPE.jpeg

[–]j12601 -4 points-3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And that's the point you strap the jetpack on "Nothing to do here..."

[–]llahlahkje 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How I feel: This is normal thanks to having a wife and birth control!

[–]Lexitime 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I have had some really terrible experiences with hormonal bc and cannot take it.. me: pulls out condom dude: aw man, I hate condoms me: that's too bad dude: more excuses why he doesn't want to use one. me:sighs, puts on clothes, leaves

[–]abijnk 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I get the feeling a lot of guys don't appreciate the fact that birth control is medication and not some little magic pill.

The side effects were enough to make me stop using them. Worse menstrual migraines, panic attacks before starting my period, and just a general overall "who gives a fuck" feeling and I was happily back to condoms rather quickly.

[–]secretlypooping 14 points15 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

DM;HS

[–]onfia 8 points9 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

How I feel when I realize I forgot to shave.

[–]VWEEEEDUB 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Think of all the spring break babies.

[–]thepastafarian 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This was me last night, then she said those few magical words:
"I can't have kids anymore"

[–]ProfessorD2 36 points37 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"...because of the chlamydia and gonorrhea."

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"No, because you're 86, grandma."

[–]strothgar 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"Neither can I baby. At least not within 200 yards..."

[–]UniqueName2 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A fake name and phone number is the best form of birth control.

[–]stunts002 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pablo Sanchez, +555 12345.

[–]UniqueName2 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And that's how babies are made.

[–]BikeBison 5 points6 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

[–]thenerdherd 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

upvoted strictly because of Ron Burgundy

[–]evbo 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pulling out, my favorite method of birth control.

[–]s0nicfreak 12 points13 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Let me be the first to congratulate you on your baby.

[–]evbo 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Either it works better than you think, or I work worse than I should.

[–]s0nicfreak 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I'm sure it's worked so far. But you're young yet...

[–]evbo 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yeah, well I wouldn't rely on it, plus there are many greater problems related to sex than pregnancy.

[–]nomtank 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Anal sex: nature's condom!

[–]half_blood_prince -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nope, nope, nope...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I've made a huge mistake...

[–]theMstrBlstr 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

But not until the morning...

[–]Jase534 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

lolmarriage

[–]nommytorton 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Condoms are God's way of punishing humanity.

[–]monaryta 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I always test the guys i like with my Anchorman test. If he does not laugh - he is from another planet.

[–]stupernan 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

yeah i hate it when the guy turns out to be another planet

[–]monaryta -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I fixed it just in time. ps. he can be pluto tho. Then i know he is just pretending

[–]Icouldbeanyone -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I take it you live on whore island?!!!

[–]Giglibyte 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's not... a real place...

[–]Pyroth 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Sorry, I was imagining Whore Island.

[–]monaryta -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I see what You did there. If You want up to wind a girl on reddit better find someone else, I spend too much time in here.

[–]Icouldbeanyone 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Just posted for the laughs, that was all.

[–]monaryta 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

damn that as a quote. sorry :/

[–]rngrfreund -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

.. and then you have sex without a condom? And you wouldn't have sex without a condom if he was from another planet? But you'd still have sex with him with a condom if he was from another planet?

[–]monaryta -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

omg shut up I am not falling for that shit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

HA! Jokes on you for using condoms!!

[–]Bengbab -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

For what it's worth, Trojan Ultra Thin Condoms are pretty good. Make sure your dick is dry when you put it on (very crucial). If you do this, it will feel like there is nothing there. If it starts to not feel good, take it off and put a new one on.

Hopefully someone finds this helpful...

[–]2-ScoopIceCream 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Those have broken on me several times. I do NOT recommend thin condoms.

[–]TheMormonAthiest 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

You're doing it wrong. Make sure there's no air in the tip as you roll it on and also make sure your penis is dry. If there's lubrication or motion between your penis and the condom, then condoms can fail.

[–]2-ScoopIceCream 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Done that, done that, done that. Water-based lube and everything, trust me. I don't trust 'em.

[–]Bengbab 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

There's definitely a trade off. I've only had one break in about a hundred. The thick ones don't feel as good and the thinner ones can break easier. It's a risk I've accepted and take the appropriate precautions for.

[–]wardrox -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Lots of people in these comments seem to think using only one form of birth control is a good idea. Is sex ed in the US broken or something?

[–]2-ScoopIceCream 6 points7 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My girlfriend just went on birth control recently, and there is no way you could EVER convince me to wear a condom now.

[–]omgitscynthia 3 points4 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Read the pamphlet that comes with her birth control, that might make you second guess your decision.

[–]2-ScoopIceCream 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

"More than 99% effective" is good for me. Trust me, we did a lot of research, given that hormones make he insane and we were doing the condom thing for whole a year.

[–]yousavvy 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That is if it's used 100% correctly and consistently. I have several friends who got pregnant while on birth control. Make sure you take it at the same time every day (assuming pill) and use back-up for the rest month if you miss or are late.

[–]facetiousdee 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Actually combination pills, which most women are on, are effective so long as a woman takes them every day and mini pills are effective so long as they are taken within a three hour window.

Shit like this is why I have an IUD and am fighting for a tubal ligation.

[–]wardrox 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

And also as long as the woman doesn't get ill and take meds within a few days of having sex.

[–]wmurray003 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yep.

[–]wmurray003 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I know a girl who claims she was on the pill, but became pregnant.

Don't ask me... I'm as confused as you are... I will not trust any birth control I can't see with my own eyes [ie. condom, pulling out]

[–]2-ScoopIceCream -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ha, well #1 you should always use a condom with someone you're not in a relationship with, and #2 pulling out is a horrible way to avoid babies.

[–]wmurray003 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

...Muahaha... no.. I do both..at the same time.

By the way.. whe wasn't pregnant by me. Muaha.

[–]bl1ksem 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

My gynecologist laughed and said don't be ridiculous when I asked if I should use condoms as well as Pill. It isn't necessary. What's the point in the Pill then? No one wants to use condoms. If taken properly, it's very effective.

Besides that, you ARE right about sex ed in the US being broken. They think it's a joke to play baby roulette. Got drunk and had sex? Don't bother with a morning after pill! Forgotten a pill? Whoops I hope I don't get pregnant! The attitudes in general towards birth control don't seem to be very mature

[–]wardrox -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

That's quite surprising (your gynecologist's reaction). The Pill isn't 100% :-/ Sex on Wednesday, get a cold on Saturday, take some meds, whoops pregnant. unless in the Uk the common "pill" isn't the same as in the US?

[–]bl1ksem 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I don't know, I don't live in the US. But if you are on the Pill, you would know that taking antibiotics fucks with your Pill and you should stay off sex/use condoms for a few days. That's also another immature whoops pregnant attitude.

I do agree though that it's not 100%, I think crazily enough even the Pill and condoms together isn't. You just get reeeeally unlucky, and it happens.

[–]pinkerton_jones -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's probably the same pill, just don't take antibiotics, st johns wort, or excessive amounts of vitamin c (get sick to stomach).Condoms have a 14% failure rate, and in any case it doesn't matter how many forms of birth control you use if you don't use them properly.

[–]wardrox -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Condoms have a 14% failure rate

Citation? I thought it was less than 1%?

[–]pinkerton_jones 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

It's in the necon pill pull out sheet of instructions

[–]PoniesRBitchin 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Yes, it's very broken, that's why all these people are downvoting you. About half the people I know who are parents were on the pill only at the time. Pill+condoms= no worries.

[–]wardrox 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I did some napkin-maths once and worked out that if you used the pill + condom combination, you would need to have sex with the same person once every three days for 50 years to have a 10% chance of pregnancy (with pessimistic assumptions).

[–]PoniesRBitchin 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Everyone here is going strictly by numbers on the box, but sometimes there are accidents. Either you take an antibiotic or other medication you don't know affects the pill, or a pill is forgotten, or taken a little late, or it just doesn't work. Statistically you're probably not going to get pregnant, but there is the chance, and condoms are still a lot cheaper than a baby or an abortion. Not to mention my guy doesn't mind them and actually insists on them because we don't have the money to drive two hours away and then pay for an abortion if the need arose.

[–]wmurray003 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Condombreaks + shetookcounteractingmedicine + youslippedandcouldn'tpulloutfastenough = pregnant...

nevermind me.. I'm just being funny.

[–]hannibl 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Hormonal birth control is 99.9% effective. If the couple isn't averse to abortion in the case of failure, then there is no need for more, assuming pregnancy is the only worry.

[–]hypmoden -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

cannot downvote this hard enough

[–]NicksBits -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Coil(girlfriend) + sex without condom(me) = no regret(mutual)

[–]dfg121589 -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

The seconds aids is cured trojans stocks will plummet

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

/Foreveralone: What is this?

[–]coffeebeans10 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Never Bothered Me

[–]ediggity -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

What's a condom?

[–]half_blood_prince -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Nope.

[–]JTHipster -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

A few months ago I could relate to this joke!

[–]CAPTA1NRAG3 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pussy

[–]wmurray003 -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Condombreaks + shetookcounteractingmedicine + youslippedandcouldn'tpulloutfastenough = pregnant...

nevermind me.. I'm just being funny.