This is what I do if someone gets too close.

Surfacetovolume · 10 months

"This work by Allie Brosh is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License."

GianterGinger · 10 months

I don't think you do.

katlikewoof · 10 months

I have done this.. and had it done to me. It doesn't always work.

sep86 · 10 months

In high school, I was talking a lot during my public speaking class. Instead of telling me to shut up, my teacher put her hand over my mouth and I instinctively stuck out my tongue and licked her hand.... awkward

callmewestern · 10 months

In high school I played soccer, and one time a kid was guarding me really closely. I turned and licked his cheek. I stayed 2 feet away the rest of the game.

Piraticalstyle · 10 months

And I thought I was the only one!

BabyOnHip · 10 months

THIS DOESN'T FUCKING WORK WITH SMALL CHILDREN. I DEMAND A REFUND.

CookieTheEpic · 10 months

Does not work with police officers.

asmalldrinkofmilk · 10 months

somewhat relevant http://reversegif.com/l4w_o

The_Gibbens · 10 months

I've been doing that for years.

istoleherl · 10 months

Does not work with boyfriends.

mmmmmmmmichaelscott · 10 months

This can go horribly wrong in the other direction.

Sestiva · 10 months

I did this to my friend...Well, actually I kissed her nose. She froze and I walked away. Mission accomplished.

eesmth · 10 months

Hey, are you the one reposting stuff from reddit onto ifunny, if you are, I hate your guts....

ElVichoPerro · 10 months

try that in a NY train. i dare you, i double dare you motherfuc!@#$

damonstien · 10 months

i really don't think people understand how demotivational posters work.

Im_Not_Pinkie_Pie · 10 months

My brother will lunge his head towards you and chomp his teeth. Works every time.

mitvit · 10 months

Relevant

nianu · 10 months

doesn't work with my children. i tried...

well_golly · 10 months

Reminds me of "arm grabbers", who interrupt you to talk down to you, all the while grabbing your forearm with a big fake "friendly" look on their face.

I just reach down and firmly grab their testicles. If they freak out, I just say "Oh, I'm sorry ... I just thought when you grabbed my arm, that this was going someplace."

Edit: I think Romney did this in one of the U.S. Republican debates.

kiarru · 10 months

This plan doesn't work when people lick back...

[deleted] · 10 months

won't work if you're a girl

TheVandyMan · 10 months

During wrestling practice, my partner wouldn't stop farting so i repeatedly licked his hair, neck, ears and cheeks until he stopped.

Kratzyyy · 10 months

I have a friend that always fucking does this. If I'm outside having a cig, he'll come outside to talk to me and stand INCHES away, and then cough and be all "STOP BREATHING ON ME".

whatutalkinboutnigga · 10 months

this is also how you lose friends on facebook

captainzigzag · 10 months

Does not work with giraffes.

penguinequalstrue · 10 months

I have perfected your system, just take a bite of what ever they are holding, works best if they are holding food...

cohrt · 10 months

or just hold your arms out and spin around. if they get hit they are too close

MichaelKoban · 10 months

I hate looking into peoples eyes for long periods when I am talking to them, and I have a large personal space bubble (not incredibly socially awkward large). I have a friend who has a small personal bubble and has big pug eyes that stare. There are times when we talk and our conversation slowly moves across the room as a take a step back every now and then while she takes a step in, to which I take a step back, etc.

StuM91 · 10 months

Karma for the awesome art skills

Nioxic · 10 months

Haha.. i actually do that sometimes :D

hymndi · 10 months

you're telling me... to lick their eye?

[deleted] · 10 months

As someone who interacts with social retards a little more than I'd like, I have a very simple way of explaining this to them:

If you're close enough to someone that they're able to elbow you without moving their shoulder, they probably want to.

For repeat offenders, I nudge them a little with my elbow just to remind them. Basic instructions aren't too hard for them, it turns out.

sure_you_can · 10 months

I choose you, Lickitung!

Use Lick!

critical hit

imgur-mirror-bot · 10 months

cake4chu · 10 months

or how to get herpes.

FTFY

CaptinCaveman · 10 months

farting works to

INTProcrastinator · 10 months

Or, alternatively, what you want to happen when you do get too close.

MBSquared · 10 months

Or quit being a little bitch. That always works, too.

funny

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

MODERATORS

funny

Results of the facebook poll

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

MODERATORS

you'll need to login or register to do that

create a new account

login