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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted] 487 points488 points ago

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I believe cats can also be trained to detect cancer, they just don't care enough about us to do it.

[–]jaxioni 340 points341 points ago

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smells cancer

"Nope, no cancer here"

...soon that $1600000 will be mine

[–]hi7en[!] 122 points123 points ago

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I'd leave my millions to my cat too... My wife doesn't deserve it... Just kidding! I don't have a wife.

[–]MBuddah 95 points96 points ago

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or millions of dollars... or a cat... :(

[–]pornmonger 127 points128 points ago

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The cancer is real though.

[–]emaG_ehT 82 points83 points ago

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That went downhill fast.

[–]isdevilis 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 101 points102 points ago

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Cat: Oh man, this dude has cancer. Better sit on him and steal his warmth while I have the chance!

[–]KrustyKreme 7 points8 points ago

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Then, after he dies, I can eat his face before the neighbors call the cops.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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Everything's coming up Cat!

[–]merlanai 36 points37 points ago

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There's cat in a nursing home that knows when the residents are going to die. link

[–]snowycrazyking 34 points35 points ago

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Please, that cat has a god complex and is just murdering the senior citizens that it snuggles with so people think it can predict deaths.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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This is what I came here to say.

They can smell it, hell, they just know it's there, but they're indifferent to our suffering.

[–]Palmuu 175 points176 points ago

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Cats can be trained to get you lots and lost of karma

[–][deleted] 34 points35 points ago

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[–]AndyRooney 78 points79 points ago

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The typo is oddly appropriate.

[–]infinite0ne 10 points11 points ago

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[–]Qender 575 points576 points ago

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For the record, if it's going to live in my house, pooping in a box as opposed to everywhere is pretty damn valuable.

[–]BitingChaos 307 points308 points ago

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I guess I won't be having any of my drunken parties at your house, Mr. "I'm too good for poop everywhere"!

[–]make_em_laugh 126 points127 points ago

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you're a party pooper? you poop at parties? and everyone knows it?

[–]Schele_Sjakie 32 points33 points ago

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Insert weird German party pooper talk.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ralphy1921 10 points11 points ago

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Is this gonna turn into some weird sheiße video?

[–]blues_clues 41 points42 points ago

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If you aren't training your dog to not poop everywhere in the house then you're doing it wrong.

[–]al343806 1 point2 points ago

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In all fairness, once Sparky hit 18 she was shitting and pissing everywhere. Of course, at that point we kind of allowed it. Seemed too harsh to try and train her to do her business outside. Dog didn't even know she was going.

[–]angrytroll123 144 points145 points ago

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Dogs can be taught to go in litter boxes or any area.

[–]mags87 10 points11 points ago

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you mean the same animal that can be trained to detect cancer, sniff out bombs, herd animals, lead a blind person, etc can be trained to go to the bathroom in a specific area? preposterous!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Jamcram 14 points15 points ago

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Just don't go near the ivy :P

[–]MBuddah 21 points22 points ago

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i saw a cat shit in a toilet. so there's that..

[–]itsthenewdan 7 points8 points ago

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I see it happen every day, because I trained my cats to do it. I look back on that as one of the smartest decisions of my life.

[–]psiphre 1 point2 points ago

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i tried it. even bought one of the special "train your cat to shit in the toilet" things. i have five cats. they all refused to learn. i gave up after cleaning messes up for two weeks.

[–]Maristic 2 points3 points ago

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I suspect that having five cats makes it harder. In my experience, the human–cat bond diminishes as you add cats, and so with five, their attitude is “fuck you, just change our litter, slave”. If you had one just, it'd be more “Oh gosh, how embarrassing it is for the both of us that your apparatus doesn't work correctly; I'm sure it's your fault, but I'll look into it once I've done the very important task of licking this paw I have here. Toodle pip.”.

[–]sbustelo 27 points28 points ago

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My cat pees in the shower's drain with wonderful aim. Jesus (that's his name) just discovered by himself that peeing in the shower's drain leaves no odor.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points ago

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He learned it from you.

[–]eamonman2 8 points9 points ago

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He learned it by watching you!

FTFY

[–]zyzzogeton 3 points4 points ago

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HE THINKS HE'S PEOPLE

[–]gkow 1 point2 points ago

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We've found a foul bachelor frog.

[–]aVictorianGentleman 5 points6 points ago

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Do you pronounce his name classically or hispanically?

[–]S0urDiesel 12 points13 points ago

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You CAN EASILY train a cat to shit in the toilet. You just have to leve the seat down at all times, after it's trained...

Use a pizza box lid and cut a hole in the middle about the size of a baseball. Put cat litter all around the hole and place it on the rim of the bowl. Pull the seat down on top of it and let the cat do it's thing a few times, (it will, if you remover the old litter box, shit here). Every two dumps or so, replace the whole thing with a new one with a larger hole. Continue this until you get do wide that litter won't really stay. Then all you need is the seat. The cat will jump up and go directly into the bowl from now on. Obviously you have to flush...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I beg to differ

[–]laasbuk 6 points7 points ago

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ALSO THEY CAN IDENTIFY THEMSELVES IN A PHONE TALK

[–]equildotsin 1 point2 points ago

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This. My dog is litter box trained. They even got special "dog litter" for them at the pet store. Pretty much did this because he's small enough its not a problem to clean up after and I'm not home all the time to watch him. Makes going out easier too.

[–]Sloth_love_Chunk 12 points13 points ago

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I have 2 indoor cats and 1 giant Black Lab. I can trust my Lab to go outside on his own, shit in the yard and come back in. My cat's can't be trusted to go outside without hopping the fence and becoming a problem for my neighbors.

So now my basement always has a slight oder of cat piss and shit even though I clean the litter boxes daily. The cat's shed more fur per hour than my Lab could shed in a lifetime. Not to mention the amount of fecal matter tracked across my house from the cat's walking in and out of their litter boxes.

I love my cats, but in my experience they are far worse for the wellbeing of your house than dogs.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Moocat87 12 points13 points ago*

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I think you have dogs confused with human infants. Dogs poop outside (or if you prefer, in a litter box or toilet) after a week of training. Human infants will pick up their shits with their hands and carry it around, and piss RIGHT in your face. I know, because I have done the latter as an infant. Nurses at the old folks home are going to LOVE changing me. Muahahaha

[–]Zelcron 1 point2 points ago

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To be fair, given certain sexual kinks, some of them might be into it.

[–]DigitalHubris 11 points12 points ago

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I have a cat.

It shits on my brand new couch.

It shits on my brand new rug.

Fuck that cat.

[–]madsonm 27 points28 points ago

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Thanks dog for letting me know I have cancer. Now I can feel more hopeless as I clean up your poop.

At least a cat lets you die with decency.

[–]zeebee 52 points53 points ago

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...before it eats your body.

[–]ForWhyBecause 16 points17 points ago

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if its hungry enough...a dog will eat your body too.

[–]smoothsensation 15 points16 points ago*

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If you're hungry enough you would eat your own body.

Edit: excessive, use, of, commas.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Dogs have been known to decapitate their dead owners.

[–]Kubaker1 1 point2 points ago

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With a guillotine?

[–]al343806 2 points3 points ago

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Holy shit, I knew not to trust Rex with that French history book.

[–]Darktemplar5782 13 points14 points ago

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"At least you cat let's you die with decency" Your're cat doesn't give a fuck if you die. A dog will be right by your side.

[–]C--Flat91 10 points11 points ago

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"Oh, you say you're having a heart attack? Stop being such a drama queen. I expect dinner in 30 minutes human slave"

[–]MadMageMC 14 points15 points ago

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I think that depends on the relationship you have with your cat. My cats follow me all over the house and want to spend their time with me. They cry and search the house for me when I leave (as reported to me by roommates and my wife). My landlord's cats, on the other hand, rarely have anything to do with him or any other humans. With cats, as well as with dogs I would imagine, it's all about how much and the quality of the time you spend with them when they're growing up.

[–]GG4 1 point2 points ago

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Perhaps there are exceptions but overall, dogs are more social animals and operate in packs in the wild and are therefore more likely to care for their owners and remain loyal. Cats on the other hand, are usually solitary animals and would be less inclined to hang around.

[–]MadMageMC 1 point2 points ago

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I understand where you're coming from, however, I would be remiss if I didn't point out that feral cats will group in communities when the circumstances are right. Not every stray cat is a solitary stray cat.

[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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how about outside?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Mopso 7 points8 points ago

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He already knows about your cancer, he just doesn't give a shit!

[–]quadropheniac 203 points204 points ago

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[–]QinGu9221 179 points180 points ago

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I don't know, seems to me like the cat could be causing these deaths...

[–]Scarbane 58 points59 points ago

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I'm imagining a cat smothering elderly people with pillows...

[–]Short_stuff 24 points25 points ago

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[–]SHFT 5 points6 points ago

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Got the idea from Wilfred though.

[–]OPsEvilTwin_S_ 20 points21 points ago

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Wasn't that on House?

[–]nickfaker 4 points5 points ago

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[–]sterling_mallory 17 points18 points ago

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Directed by M Ni.... wait what am I doing

[–]CreamedButtz 12 points13 points ago

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what am I doing

God's work, son. God's work.

[–]illgresi 1 point2 points ago

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Reminds me of that episode of Wilfred where Wilfred "predicts" people's deaths. But actually he is the one (maybe) killing them.

[–]Zerged 11 points12 points ago

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I can haz soul?

[–]dusters 24 points25 points ago

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Cat kills 50 people in RI nursing home

[–]boutsofbrilliance 14 points15 points ago

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it's an odd coincidence at first, but cat gets a rep.

later. old guy feelin' great, watching matlock on tv land. sees the cat walking by his door and abruptly sit down to lick his ass for a bit.

old guy becomes terrified and has a heart attack. dies.

[–]brianbrianbrian 1 point2 points ago

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Totally read that as the old man licking his ass, rather than the cat doing so to itself.

[–]marishtar 4 points5 points ago

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Predicts death. Does not predict cause. Basically, it's just being a dick.

[–]Krispyz 3 points4 points ago

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If this were true, the nursing home staff are assholes. You don't keep around a cat who's only going to scare people who are about to die. Oh god, here comes fluffy! Don't jump on the bed... Aw FUCK!

They even said it was unsociable otherwise, what a horrible cat to keep in a nursing home.

[–]dianthe 7 points8 points ago

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There was an episode of House about this, and of course a perfectly logical explanation as to how the cat was doing it was found.

[–]Rahms 9 points10 points ago

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How does that explain it at all? The episode says the cat is attracted to the heating blankets on dying patients, the article says the cat predicted which patients were going to die before the staff did (i.e. they wouldn't have a heating blanket unless everyone else did).

[–]dianthe 1 point2 points ago

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Perhaps the weaker elderly people were given heating blankets? :) I don't remember the episode that well, all I could remember was the explanation given having something to do with temperature changes. I'm not sure what the actual explanation for Oscar's gift is, was merely pointing out that there was an episode of House based on it.

[–]Rahms 1 point2 points ago

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Well that's the same thing. Sorry to say house didn't solve this one!

[–]jadeycakes 1 point2 points ago*

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I'm pretty sure he was murdered by one of the residents :( No joke. Sorry guys. He is not dead. I had read a nasty rumor.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Source? :(

[–]jadeycakes 1 point2 points ago

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OH! apparently what I read was a hoax. Oh God I can stop the tears from coming now. Sorry for ruining your day :(

[–]neodiogenes 1 point2 points ago

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Remember: The Onion is not real news, no matter how much it may resemble Fox News at times.

[–]infinite0ne 1 point2 points ago

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And then there's always this.

[–]TenaciousKory 1 point2 points ago

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Kinda late compared to the dog though, don't you think?

[–]donkeydiddler 85 points86 points ago

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I like both. Will you stop fighting?

[–]Vitalstatistix 24 points25 points ago

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But what's your take on donkeys?

[–]Hyperionides 90 points91 points ago

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They're all asses.

[–]Nudist-On-Strike 9 points10 points ago

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This guy.

[–]Hyperionides 1 point2 points ago

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[–]donkeydiddler 36 points37 points ago

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FUCKIN' LOVE 'EM

[–]nellonoma 9 points10 points ago

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after a year the account name finally pays off!

[–]brotherxii 2 points3 points ago

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LOVE FUCKIN' EM. Ftfy

[–]TomorrowPlusX 8 points9 points ago

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I have two dogs and a cat, and I fucking love all three. And they love eachother. All this dog vs cat malarkey is horseshit.

// rabble rabble

[–]Calcipher 37 points38 points ago

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I'm just going to say that without any training my cat protected me from a centipede crawling on my bed.

I was having a hard time sleeping because my cat was being uncharacteristically rambunctious (she usually sleeps on my feet). After an hour or so of this, I decided to get up and see what the heck her problem was (I figured I'd forgotten to feed her). The lights went on, and she kept running around the room and giving me a 'you think you could maybe help me out a bit here' look. I realized that she was chasing a huge centipede around and much of the noise she had been making was her knocking it off the bed whenever it got too close to me.

Now, I know that those damn things aren't poisonous, but I can't begin to tell you how amazing it is to have a creature care enough about you to spend over an hour trying to protect you from a perceived threat (she could have just wondered off somewhere or allowed it to run on me in her pursuit of the thing). The thing is that this isn't the first time a cat has done something like this for me. A cat I had as a child did much the same thing with a scorpion, the only difference was that he killed the thing (by breaking its back - he was a much more powerful cat than my current cat).

[–]Mpalm 9 points10 points ago

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It was most likely playing with the centipede... really don't think it was protecting you. Every cat I've seen swats at insects and pushes them around, chases them, swats them, bops them, then eats them. Although I'm sure your cat is a super star, I wouldn't count on it saving your life any time soon.

[–]spikeyfreak 7 points8 points ago

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Centipedes are poisonous....

[–]fritzcharleston 1 point2 points ago

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...from a centipede crawling on my bed.

I made it that far before I was hit by what can only be described as your overwhelming sincerity, and I lost it.

I'm laughing so hard right now.

[–]EmeraldGirl 14 points15 points ago*

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Well in the last 24 hours, the dog has eaten two dirty diapers, a full stick of butter and some extra wrapping paper. He also led me on an unplanned 20 minute run through the neighborhood.

The cat has pooped in a box, played fetch with a squishy felt ball, and slept in the windowsill. The one time in his entire life the cat was off leash outside, he hid under something and cried for me to come get him.

Right now... the cat is winning.

[–]dainethemain 20 points21 points ago

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oh look, it's this thread again ಠ_ಠ

[–]TikiWiki 4 points5 points ago

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I'm going to train my dog to smell everyone's crotch but tell them she has the ability to sniff out cancer.

[–]Cixelsid[!] 4 points5 points ago

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Cats can detect cancer too. They just don't give a fuck.

[–]cive666 13 points14 points ago

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This will probably be buried in the comments and I hate saying that but I must tell you about my cat.

While my cat was not trained to do this, I think it is pretty cool. I have type1 diabetes and sometimes I get very low blood sugar levels at night. When this happens I always wake up because my cat is pawing at me and she does not do this at any other times.

Another weird thing is her name. Her name is Sugar, and I named her before I knew she would do this. And in case some might not catch it, a diabetic with low blood sugar needs to eat sugar or else he or she might have a seizure if it continues to fall.

[–]ihavediabeetus 4 points5 points ago

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no way! my old cat used to do this to me too. I was thinking of saying this but figured it would get buried as well, but then came across your comment. I used to have multiple seizures as a child for low blood sugars, as I have type 1 diabetes. One night my cat ran into my parents room meowing his head off on their bed, stomping all over them. My mom got up to kick the cat out of the room, and when she did the cat continued to stare at her and meow excessively until she stepped forward where my cat then ran straight into my bedroom, jumped on my bed and continued meowing. She kicked the cat out of my room, then went back to bed. Once again the cat came running back in to meow excessively all over my parents. So once again, she went to kick him out and he ran straight into my room onto my bed. Five minutes later (when my mom once again ignored my cat) I went into a full blown hypoglycemic seizure. And yes, I could have very easily died from it...so take that cat haters.

[–]Amputatoes 1 point2 points ago

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So... you're going to eat your cat?

[–]BreatheRightStrips 57 points58 points ago

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Always seems to be the dog people that make these Dogs vs Cats things. Its like those people with dogs that NEED you to like their dog, even though you don't want to be anywhere near it. Isn't it good enough that you like a dog, why does everybody else have to?

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]ablatner 2 points3 points ago

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Are you saying there is something wrong with nothing but porn and cat pictures?

[–]mrsteeb 7 points8 points ago

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ITT: Nothing you can say is correct.

[–]minglow 3 points4 points ago

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I get your "point". But comparing what one animal can do after being trained intensely to what one animal can pretty much intuitively do is pretty stupid. You can train a cat to use a toilet and flush it...

[–]GG4 1 point2 points ago

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Can you train a cat to be a seeing eye cat, a rescue cat, etc? Oh yeah...

[–]gharbutts 4 points5 points ago

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cats: shit in box, have ass breath

dogs: shit outside, have ass breath

cats: chew on cords, show butthole to humans

dogs: chew on underwear, show butthole to humans

cats: soft and quiet, bathe themselves

dogs: greasy and loud, roll in shit

cats: don't tell you about the cancer, doesn't respond to simple verbal commands

dogs: sniff out cancer, respond to verbal commands sometimes

both of them are obnoxious and cute. it's not really a competition.

[–]theprizefight 4 points5 points ago

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HORSE

[–]TempAlt 3 points4 points ago

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Shut up dude, dogs can shit in boxes too

[–]tcsuperstar 39 points40 points ago

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My in-laws cat saved their lives by alerting them of a fire. Just sayin'

[–]larwk 68 points69 points ago

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Cat was just trying to save himself.

[–]starlinguk 24 points25 points ago

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I used to know a cat that would alert the parents downstairs when the baby upstairs was crying. No baby monitor required.

[–]Taedirk 40 points41 points ago

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The cat just wanted the damn thing to shut up so it could go back to napping.

[–][deleted] 69 points70 points ago

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Scumbag Reddit: If a dog saves your life, it was selfless.

If a cat does it, he's still a selfish prick who wants you to die.

[–]Youreahugeidiot 32 points33 points ago

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That's how cats work.

[–]Taedirk 16 points17 points ago

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Everyone knows cats don't feel empathy. It's merely a sliding scale of disdain.

[–]Sunless_Sea 9 points10 points ago

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On a summer day, I stupidly stubbed a cig out (so I thought) on an egg box. The doors were open and the breeze set it on fire. The cat, who was all black and appropriately called Batman, came to my housemate's door and started acting weird (for him). Scratching at the door and miaowing but he didn't want to come in. He was normally all cool, I can't remember him ever miaowing except this time.

The doors were open, he could have just gone if he'd wanted.

I don't think the house would have burnt down, we weren't in much danger, but all that got burnt was the egg box and a bit of the kitchen top got scorched as opposed to the cupboards or even the entire kitchen maybe.

[–]Chili440 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, mine woke my ex up when the house was on fire. But probably only because they couldn't get out.

[–]gorbok 7 points8 points ago

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"It was so heroic. It detected the fire when it's hair caught on fire, so it immediately warned us by howling, running into our room and scratching the shit out of our faces to wake us up."

[–]billmalarky 15 points16 points ago

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Both are extremely valuable traits.

[–]Dapwell 47 points48 points ago

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Dog eat their own feces just sayin'...

[–]MBuddah 37 points38 points ago

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don't knock it till you try it

[–]hypoid77 23 points24 points ago

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and they roll in it!

[–]brotherxii 1 point2 points ago

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Don't knock it until you've tried it.

[–]chaosfarmer 11 points12 points ago

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I hear this a lot, but people realize that not ALL dogs eat their poop right? In fact a dog that is eating their poop is actually sick/unhealthy in some way. If the food they're eating isn't being digested properly they try and eat it again to conserve the nutrients. It's an owner problem not an inherent dog trait.

[–]TBBT 6 points7 points ago

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My boyfriends dog eats his other dogs shit. Is the other sick?

[–]kernowbysvyken 3 points4 points ago

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My dad's dog eats the cat's shit, sometimes fresh out of the cat. What does this mean?

[–]WhenDookieCalls 1 point2 points ago

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And cat feces. To your dog, that litterbox in the corner is just filled with delicious kitty-cookies.

[–]hypoid77 6 points7 points ago

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Well fMRI machines must make the best pets ever then, they can detect tons of illnesses.

[–]Diozakrod 2 points3 points ago

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What I've seen in this thread: A bunch of people who have no idea dogs can be trained to shit wherever you want them to.

[–]99trumpets 27 points28 points ago

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So in other words, cats win, right?

[–]amoorefan2 4 points5 points ago

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"Hey you have cancer!" I don't like you dog!

[–]thafman 36 points37 points ago

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One is man's best friend, the other is man's reclusive roommate who spends his days licking himself and shitting in a box.

[–]perfunction 11 points12 points ago

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While dogs do tend be more friendly than cats, I've seen a few cats with very dog-like personalities. Mine is extremely friendly and loyal. I can even call her on demand by whistling and play fetch with toy mice.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]padreick 49 points50 points ago

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To be fair, sometimes I hate other people's best friends. Tell your best friend I'm done petting him for now and to stop pestering me. Tell your best friend to not be the loudest thing in the room every time there is a noise outside. Tell your best friend I'm trying to eat and he can stop hovering over me.

[–]madsonm 22 points23 points ago

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Tell your best friend to stop licking my face. Tell your best friend to not put his face in my crotch. Tell your best friend that he should stop humping my leg.

[–]Jamcram 23 points24 points ago

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No wait...

Don't.

[–]Zaokii 6 points7 points ago

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Cats actually tend to befriend their owners if you try to befriend the cat, especially with women. Cats figuratively turn into our children. [source]

[–]revivemorrison 6 points7 points ago

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Or, in my case

Can'T shit in a box.

I hate this cat.

[–]donkeydiddler 4 points5 points ago

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Does it shit in a consistent place? If so, put its food there.

[–]revivemorrison 6 points7 points ago

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I wish this stopped him. Typically its right NEXT to the box. Or in the bathroom. Or in the linen closet. Or in another corner of litterbox room.

He is just a prince and likes no litter. He also won't drink anything other then fresh running tap or bathtub faucet water. He won't eat any human food scraps. He purposely knocks over glasses/bottles of water around the house, to annoy you and get you up.

straight up, just a dickhead of a cat.

[–]Deathgripsugar 11 points12 points ago

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Suggestions:

1) put out a bowl of water and turn that other garbage off. if he runs up for a drink when you're running the sink, hit him with the water and he'll gtfo. Eventually that is the only water so he'll stfu and deal

2) Litter problem: put him in a small container (like a big box or whatever) when he does that dumb stuff. Put in there food, water, and a litter box. Keep him there for a day; if he chooses to piss on the floor he's gonna have to live with it. Be consistent, and he'll get the point

3) Knocking crap over... Keep a super soaker locked and loaded... he knocks a glass over he gets the hose again. Yeh you'll have to clean up a bit more from the SSoaker but trust me it works, once again the cat will get the point.

The trick with cats is that the consequences of their actions have to be apparent for them right after they misbehave. If you keep it up you'll have a cat that respects your authority. My cat is a bengal and I only have to clean her box twice a week and she drinks out of a bowl. When I snap my fingers she gets off whatever the hell she is on and onto the floor. She is dead silent until I get out of bed, no noise at all, no meow, nothing. She is still affectionate like always, but she understands that when I have a problem with whatever she does, it is in her best interests to listen.

It takes time and constant reinforcement (took me about three years or so) but the results are amazing, and people are like "wtf how did you get your cat to listen to you?"

[–]SisterStereo 4 points5 points ago

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This is my issue with several cat owners I've met. They let the cat run all over and do whatever it wants, resulting in pissy kitties, messes in their houses and other nonsense. If an animal is brought into your house it needs training to understand how it is expected to behave.

[–]twocats 2 points3 points ago

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Then I must have the best cat in the world. He knew since day one to only use the litter box, he never messes with things in the house, he sharpens his claws only on special planks, etc. But he is loud, we think he's part siameze.

For more wild cats, yes, training is definitely necessary.

[–]konekoanni 2 points3 points ago

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Agree with you on points two and three (though I wouldn't use such harsh methods, haha), but cats are naturally inclined to prefer running water, so you may want to consider investing in a Drinkwell or some other running water bowl. [source 1] [source 2]

[–]asdwert177 1 point2 points ago

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Don't bengals enjoy water more than other cats? Or is that not true for all of them? I would not have thought that the soaker trick works on animals that don't mind water. I know that my dog would just look at me silently and think I'm finally going completely insane.

[–]Deathgripsugar 1 point2 points ago

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some do some don't, I would say the closer you are to the original mix (wild cat + domestic) the more likely the cat will have some of the wild traits (both good and bad) the father away the less of that personality remains and the more domestic the cat is.

To be honest most folks want a domestic acting cat that looks wild and that's where Bengals come in, but they still have some of the wild Bengal dispositions, it's just not guaranteed.

[–]Rahms 1 point2 points ago

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Litter problem: put him in a small container (like a big box or whatever) when he does that dumb stuff. Put in there food, water, and a litter box. Keep him there for a day; if he chooses to piss on the floor he's gonna have to live with it. Be consistent, and he'll get the point

Except I doubt the guy is following his cat around and waiting for it to shit, so chances are he'd be doing this a while after the cat had done the deed, so the cat would just be like "wtf why do you hate me now? :("

[–]donkeydiddler 2 points3 points ago

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Haha, well in that case, I can offer no suggestions. You have my condolences.

[–]Oaden 1 point2 points ago

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Is his water next to his food? some cats hate that. try putting his water in another place

[–]itsthenewdan 1 point2 points ago

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When I was training my cats to shit in the toilet, there was a point where they decided that they would rather just shit on the floor than continue advancing towards the goal. So I decided to speak to them in a language they understood: food. Shit on the floor? OK, you get a tiny portion of food today, just enough to keep you from starving, and no feeding within an hour of the incident (to kill any positive association). Shit in the correct place? Immediate reward of a hearty food portion. They got the message very quickly and stopped having accidents completely.

[–]b0w3n 1 point2 points ago

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Move it to an area without carpet. The feeling of carpet is similar to litter.

I did this and I was 100% happier I didn't have to clean shit and piss out of carpet.

[–]thechaserx 14 points15 points ago

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Cats can also detect earthquakes.

[–]gorbok 29 points30 points ago

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My goldfish can detect earthquakes. When it's on the floor, there's an earthquake.

[–]VeryVariegated 6 points7 points ago

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WHOA THE GROUND IS SHAKING. MUST BE AN EARTHQUAKE.

[–]c3rb3r 3 points4 points ago

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hmm... I read that somewhere, i think it mentioned other animals too including dogs.

[–]damnshoes 6 points7 points ago

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Can a cat wear a hat? Yes it can.

[–]darwin_wins 4 points5 points ago

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So can I

[–]Spillane001 3 points4 points ago

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Should add the word "Sometimes" to cat picture.

[–]LonelyShamrock 4 points5 points ago

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Every post about cats and dogs? DOGS ARE SO MUCH BETTER!!! What everyone posts as just a single animal? CATS CATS LOLO CATS I dont understand you reddit.

[–]tehrahl 1 point2 points ago

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Reddit secretly prefers dogs, but they all have the fear of being ostracized on the internet if they express their dog love without a safe environment, like a dog positive thread.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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We specifically bred dogs to be dependent on us. Them liking us is basically a long term, selective breading reach-around. We shouldn't be too proud of it.

[–]holyghostbuster 2 points3 points ago

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OSCAR THE CAT can smell death.

[–]cyberslick188 3 points4 points ago

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TIL there is no one on reddit who owns a dog that doesn't shit violently and uncontrollably all throughout the house, and that cats invented science.

[–]TheFAJ 18 points19 points ago

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I would prefer my pet to know how to politely shit indoors, than to detect cancer.

[–]Udub 9 points10 points ago

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I've had a dog that was trained to shit/piss in a litter box if we weren't home. If we were home, I wouldn't mind taking it outside as it was a good excuse for me to get off my ass.

[–]lazermole 7 points8 points ago

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I would prefer that my pet didn't shit indoors at all.

[–]Pebbles112 3 points4 points ago

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This.... I have dogs, and they are trained, on command, to go into the farthest corners of the yard to do their business, where it becomes fertilizer. No problems, no work. I would HATE emptying a litter box. Disgusting.

[–]rschnell 14 points15 points ago

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Dogs can be trained to shit in a litter box.

[–]tcsuperstar 26 points27 points ago

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Dogs can be trained to kill your face.

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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How great! I hate your face.

[–]AmpleReason 10 points11 points ago

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Dogs vs Cats you say? How nice.

[–]cynognathus 1 point2 points ago

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[–]noagendaproducer 1 point2 points ago

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Something tells me a dog lover made this graphic.

[–]kiwiboyus 1 point2 points ago

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My Mum's Cat knew before she did that her cancer had returned, that Cat stayed inside with her more often. The Cat became stressed as my Mum was treated for pain and started licking patches of it's fur off. I get annoyed by people that claim Cat's have no concern for their owners, it's not remotely true. Mum's Cat missed her after she passed away in August and our Cat's have come over to my wife and I when we've been upset about something.

[–]areks77 1 point2 points ago

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Insert witty remark failing to prove cats are more useful

[–]bpm2000 1 point2 points ago

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Meanwhile, both dogs and cats are wondering when you guys will shut the fuck up and get the food.

[–]Awkward_Typo 1 point2 points ago

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That dog's genital situation is confusing.

[–]ashrond 1 point2 points ago

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someone do a fixed, im too lazy

can be trained to detect cancer

can be trained to detect death , and shit in a box or use a toilet! http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/7129952/Cat-predicts-50-deaths-in-RI-nursing-home.htmlv

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Toxh_5aHig

[–]itsamario 1 point2 points ago

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Too lazy to see if anyone posted this yet too: http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2007/07/25/health/webmd/main3097899.shtml

I would assume it is posted a million times here...

[–]wetyourwhistle 1 point2 points ago

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I'm going to go ahead as say you're a cat person then?

[–]itsjustme8921 1 point2 points ago

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cats can catch and kill rodents...

[–]grayshine 1 point2 points ago

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[–]hazju1 1 point2 points ago

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This is what I first thought: "...It's my shit in a box!"

[–]Mage_tank 1 point2 points ago

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Dogs can also be taught to drive, and know that when you open the door, they can come in. The cat will stand there, doing the fucking hokey pokey because it thinks there's a force field there.

I think that people confuse clingy with stupid. Stalker girlfriends aren't stupid (all the time). They're crazy. There's a difference.

Related story: I was watching TV in bed with the cat on my side, and then the little eskimo dog thing comes up and stares at the bed. A minute passes, and it hops up on the bed, and sits next to (read: on.) the cat. 15 more minutes go by, and I realize the cat left. The dog sat on the cat until it gave up.

[–]Kind_Of_A_Dick 1 point2 points ago

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I'm sure cats could detect cancer too if they could be bothered to give a fuck.

[–]Spiralofourdiv 1 point2 points ago

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More important question:

Dogs can be trained to sniff out cancer, but I've never seen one trained to shit in a box...

[–]notsofast789 1 point2 points ago

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MRI - can detect cancer.

Xbox - can not detect cancer.

Still rather have the xbox.