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top 200 commentsshow all 279

[–]Rasalom 168 points169 points ago

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“I was at the vet’s office, Trixie ate dark chocolate. I couldn’t talk, but I texted.”

“You wrote me?”

“Yeah. And she barfed. I helped clean up.”

That's all I know about that scene.

[–]SecretOperative48 26 points27 points ago

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It infuriates me that I know what you're referencing.

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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I prefer that commercial to the actual script.

[–]JakeCameraAction 4 points5 points ago

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Is it just me or does everyone hate that he's talking about vomit right before he kisses her?

[–]fit4130 9 points10 points ago

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Me too dude, me too.

[–]OHenryRules 638 points639 points ago

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He wrote one for every day of the week, but he never said he sent one everyday of the week. She got two letters on Mondays and days after national holidays.

[–]suckmyislam 135 points136 points ago

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has anybody ever thought what the content the letters would be after about 30 days? "today i went to the store. i still love u and want you.... uhhh... let's see.... what else.... what else..... oh yea i saw a turtle"

[–]silverbullet1 47 points48 points ago

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Makes my heart melt.

[–]AbramLincoln 16 points17 points ago

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I was hoping he wrote two weeks worth of letters, made copies, and sent them in a rotation lol

[–]thraxicle 5 points6 points ago

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Day 32:

Dear Allie, 
I'm happy that you're my lover, I enjoy each lesson you teach. 
As my role model you inspire me
 to dream and to work and to reach. With your kindness you get my attention. 
Every day you are planting a seed
 of curiosity and motivation to know and to grow and succeed. You help me fulfill my potential;
 I'm thankful for all that you've done. 
I admire you each day, and I just want to say,
 as a lover, you're number one!

[–]Zonak 34 points35 points ago

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lik dis if u cry evrytime

[–]LionCashDispenser 7 points8 points ago

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I'm a terribly busy man, so I can't be bothered to punch you right now. Here is my fist; kindly run towards it as fast as you can.

[–]Zonak 5 points6 points ago

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[–]pathartl 4 points5 points ago

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Best episode of the IT Crowd ever made.

[–]structuremole 1 point2 points ago

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evertim :'(

[–]TheCodexx 1 point2 points ago

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I've seen a bajillion bad paraphrases of "my heart aches for you blah blah blah". Not that hard to think that and a ton of other phony filler drivel could make up a bunch of letters.

[–]signspam 270 points271 points ago

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The last time this was posted I said the same thing, and was downvoted to oblivion...but you can have mine...

[–]bill_nydus 195 points196 points ago

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It's okay, Reddit isn't supposed to make sense.

[–]seriouslyseriousdude 24 points25 points ago

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yea, pmsing hipster dudes...

[–]March_of_the_ENTropy 19 points20 points ago

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No dude. Forever alone, misogynistic, vaguely leftist, pot smoking 20 something males.

Thats EVERY. PERSON. ON. REDDIT. No exceptions. Not even the women.

[–]Xanthan81 1 point2 points ago

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Actually Reddit consists of one guy named Geoff who has multiple usernames and sometimes forgets to change them when he replies to himself.

[–]Xanthan81 1 point2 points ago

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SHUT UP, I DO NOT!

[–]evitagen-armak 3 points4 points ago

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You know it's only two persons on reddit, right?

[–]Heatbeat 6 points7 points ago

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Reddit is actually a simulation. I am the only real person here.

You're all sims created to make me feel like I'm part of a community when really I'm hooked into a test tube for the purpose of bioenergy harvesting.

[–]evitagen-armak 1 point2 points ago

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Mr. Anderson I presume, please follow me.

[–]CottonEyeJoe 0 points1 point ago

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Deja vu...?,?,? OH FUCK!

[–]BendOver4Rover 0 points1 point ago

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Hmmm... Shit. So, when do I get my penis?

[–]kinnaq 17 points18 points ago

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seriously?

[–]DirtyCommenter 3 points4 points ago

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For those wondering this was the comment he posted.

[–]signspam 0 points1 point ago

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You must of went through quite a lot of my comments. That was 4 months ago.....ಠ_ಠ

[–]Radico87 1 point2 points ago

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Why do you care so much about what internet strangers think about you?

[–]Xanthan81 0 points1 point ago

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BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONLY FRIENDS I HAVE!

[–]time_traveller_ -3 points-2 points ago

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AND MY AXE.

[–]MelisSassenach -5 points-4 points ago

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musta been a lot of period-laden female redditors on that day. Sorry, bro, have an upvote.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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Everything in life comes down to timing.

[–]brainburger 4 points5 points ago

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She got two letters on Mondays and days after national holidays.

She didn't get them at all. Have you not been made to watch it?

[–]OompaOrangeFace 0 points1 point ago

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Mail doesn't normally travel that quickly. If he wrote a letter on Sunday, he would send it on Monday along with Monday's letter and they would both get to her on Tuesday if they lived close or Wednesday, Thursday if they lived a long distance from each other.

[–]ineedateam1 -1 points0 points ago

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Most likely she got em and read em on Friday and saterday

[–]mainsworth 21 points22 points ago

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"I tweeted at you 365 times. I tweeted at you every day for a year."

[–]angryvigilante 12 points13 points ago

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Technology makes so many movies seem absurd. All of their communication problems could be solved by the internet and/or cell phones.

[–]Somali_Pir8 5 points6 points ago

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Seinfeld wouldn't be the same if everyone had a cell phone.

[–]zboy319 0 points1 point ago

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OMG!!!! i recently saw a seinfeld episode and i literally 2 days ago thought the exact same thing

[–]reddell 97 points98 points ago

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My reaction was, "that's really not healthy, psycho."

[–]goodnightspoon 71 points72 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

Today we had soup for dinner! Which is okay, I guess cause normally I like soup, but chef had us eating cremed corn soup which I don't like cause it's gross. Remember that one soup we had that one time? Yeah, me too.

Love, Ryan Gosling

[–]prose-before-hoes 63 points64 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

Today I saw a dog. It was black. It barked at me. It was silly. Marry me.

Love, Ryan Gosling.

[–]Ajscorpion3 45 points46 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

Remember that time we almost had sex? haha yeah that was funny. I masturbated today. I thought of you. I also had pie with milk.

Love, Ryan Gosling.

[–]L00n 29 points30 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

If I drive for you, you give me a time and a place. I give you a five-minute window, anything happens in that five minutes and I'm yours no matter what. I don't sit in while you're running it down; I don't carry a gun... I drive.

Love, Ryan Gosling

[–]waiyoumakemedodis 5 points6 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

I took a massive dump today. It stank. But it's cool, because it left a shit-stain that reminded me of you. Miss you much

Love, Ryan Gosling

[–]Briecheeze 10 points11 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

I drove by your house today... and stayed there for five hours. That's ok, it's totally not stalkerish. Marry me!

Love, Ryan Gosling.

[–]Mildcorma 12 points13 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

I just finished this amazing book series called Twilight! Now i'm playing with glitter, lol

Love, Ryan Gosling

[–]MistahFinch 6 points7 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,
I am writing a letter that is not to you!
Love, Ryan Gosling
PS: OK Maybe it is to you
#8 for Tattoo guy

[–]mkecr 3 points4 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams,

I am you.

Love, Ryan Gosling.

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan

[–]Quinni 12 points13 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams, Remember that one time? Yeah. Me too. Love, Ryan Gosling.

[–]goodnightspoon 5 points6 points ago

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Dear Rachel McAdams

...

Love Ryan Gosling

[–]SirTokerMcBongsmoker 8 points9 points ago*

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If you guys continue this pun thread for 363 more replies, I'll tattoo the reddit alien on my butt.

edit: it has to be at least a tiny bit funny

[–]STOP_PUNNING 9 points10 points ago

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NO, JUST NO.

[–]SirTokerMcBongsmoker 4 points5 points ago

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haha, I don't think they will ever get that far (or am I?).

[–]morphintime 0 points1 point ago

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I'm downvoting every single one, somebody has to be prepared to dish out the hard consequences.

[–]Reckonerz 2 points3 points ago

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But.. this isn't a pun thread.... (notsureifserious.jpg)

[–]SirTokerMcBongsmoker 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, I realized that.. a josh thread? Sorry, not a native.

[–]justusowls 0 points1 point ago

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This sounds more like a text from my girlfriend more than anything.

[–]darkmooninc 0 points1 point ago

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[–]MAC_TRUCK_HITS_BABY 13 points14 points ago

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It's not creepy if the guy is hot. When will people learn?

[–]constantly_drunk 0 points1 point ago

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Money helps too.

[–]silverbullet1 22 points23 points ago

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I think because of the fear of stalking and threats of sexual assault, we've .lost some of those old romantic stories and now see them as 'creepy'

Many grandparents will tell the story of how they fell in love with her saying "I didn't like him at first, but he persisted"

We don't persist anymore. It's a shame.

[–]gatorbuck 18 points19 points ago*

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That's because back then many women only needed a man to prove his dedication to ensure she was taken care of. Now women have more independence and more options when choosing a partner, so a guy proving his dedication isn't as important and it can actually be detrimental.

[–]jerseykid 11 points12 points ago

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tl;dr We don't need each other, we want each other.

Can you blame us?

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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There's a difference between persisting and insisting...

...Right? Guys?

[–]citrusfury 22 points23 points ago

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(Preparing for downvotes) but for some reason I just can't shake how creepy that feels when I hear those stories.

To me, it seems like, "well I didn't want to like him/her, but they just beat me over the head with how much they wanted to be with me I just kinda gave up."

Sounds too much like laying siege to someone until they "surrender" and give you a chance.

[–]scottklarr 3 points4 points ago

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You know what they say, all is fair in love and war.

[–]constantly_drunk 0 points1 point ago

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99 Nos and 1 yes is still a yes?

[–]ArcticSpaceman 7 points8 points ago

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You know, usually I hold the same opinion. I watched the Truman Show with a room filled with a bunch of other teenagers, and a few (girls) awkwardly laughed when, near the very end, the creator of the show told Truman something like "I've always been watching you," because "oh no, he's a 'creeper!'" (a word that irritates the fuck out of me, but I digress), and I hate that it was turned into something vaguely sexual when it was never intended to be. Sure it was meant to be unsettling, but in a different way.

But when it comes to The Notebook, I just found it pandering and stupid. Maybe "I don't know what love is, I'm too young," but I didn't get the connection. There was literally a point in the movie where the narrator said something like, "they argued and fought all the time, but they loved each other so much." Like, yeah, I understand that couples fight often (I personally have never landed a relationship where fighting occurs, but again I digress), but I never felt a real connection between the two of them other than "hey, we're both attractive, let's fuck." It just felt so fake.

[–]stareattheart 1 point2 points ago

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My grandpa saw my grandma in the street and asked her out.

The trick is... neither of them spoke the mutual language well. They mostly mimed stuff to each other.

[–]reddell 0 points1 point ago

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Persistence is one thing, obsession is another.

[–]ineedateam1 0 points1 point ago

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True

[–]Windforce 1 point2 points ago

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twitter

[–]qabsteak 19 points20 points ago

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I don't see what the problem is. If he had said "I sent you a letter everyday," then there'd be a problem, but there's no conflict with him writing a letter everyday and there being no post on Sundays. The Notebook has thus been defended. What am I doing with my life?

[–]mycroft2000 29 points30 points ago

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Hi all, pet peeve time here ...

Stop writing "everyday" when you mean "every day".

"Everyday" is an adjective meaning "mundane".

"Every day" means "daily".

That is all.

[–]DELTATKG 13 points14 points ago

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Everyday I'm shuffling.

[–]tehwebguy 2 points3 points ago

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TIL

[–]Legato895 25 points26 points ago

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Umm actually.

Back I'm the 1920's mail would often come TWICE a day.

[–]tonyonyony 62 points63 points ago

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So would I.

[–]Reckonerz 1 point2 points ago

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ZING

[–]rowebenj -1 points0 points ago

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So that would make you roughly 105 years old. IAMA

[–]MrPessimist -1 points0 points ago

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shEIT!

[–]SeriouslyDave 3 points4 points ago

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The 1920's male would often come TWICE a day

FTFY

[–]snakrause 2 points3 points ago

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[–]I_TYPE_IN_ALL_CAPS 5 points6 points ago

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BUT IT'S WELL KNOWN THAT THE SECOND DELIVERY WAS PRIMARILY LOLCATS AND REPOSTS, WHICH IS WHY WE NOW HAVE ONLY ONE PER DAY.

[–]DumbSillyBaby 8 points9 points ago

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I'd like the notebook to be remade with an nasal voiced, ugly fat guy instead of Gosling. Just because.

[–]Ambivalent_Fanatic 7 points8 points ago

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The day I read about Nick Sparks comparing himself to Ernest Hemingway was the day I decided that if I ever meet him, I am going to pin him down and take a big dump on his face.

[–]cognitions 39 points40 points ago*

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This movie teaches girls "If you're good looking, you don't have to make any effort to make a relationship work.. the man is responsible for every shred of romanticism"

Lets Break this down...

Noah:

Boat ride with birds

Initiates the relationship/chases her

Writes her 365 letters

Romantic stoplight thing

BUILDS HER A HOUSE

.. WITH an art studio and view

Comes to see her every day in the retirement home to read

Rachel:

drawing a blank here...

[–]Cosmologicon 10 points11 points ago

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Lets Break this down...

Noah:

Boat ride with birds

Wow. I haven't seen the movie, and I assumed from this that you were talking about Noah from the Bible and his ark, even though that makes no sense whatsoever. Once I made that connection I couldn't break it. I kept asking myself when did Noah from the Bible ever write 365 letters?

Stupid brain.

[–]Lawlliipop 1 point2 points ago

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I am embarassed to say that I thought of the same thing. :|

[–]I_TYPE_IN_ALL_CAPS 18 points19 points ago

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Rachel:

  • CONDESCENDINGLY REFUSED DATES FOR, LIKE, FOREVER.

  • FUCKED SOME OTHER DUDE AFTER REFUSING TO GIVE IT UP FOR, LIKE, FOREVER.

  • FORGOT WHO NOAH IS FOR, LIKE, FOREVER.

I GUESS THIS EXPLAINS THE WHOLE DIAMONDS <==> LOVE CONNECTION.

[–]lafayette0508 6 points7 points ago

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Why did you call him Noah (the character's name), but her Rachel (the actress' name?)

[–]cognitions 4 points5 points ago

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You know those little things you do to get laid? This movie is one of those things.

I didn't pay that much attention and was too annoyed by the aforementioned double standards.

[–]darkmooninc 1 point2 points ago

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There should be a Godwin's Law for Stephanie Meyer and Twilight.

[–]NickDouglas 1 point2 points ago

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Nice try, same guy who complains about Manic Pixie Dreamgirls.

[–]souldonkey 0 points1 point ago

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Gave birth to the children?

[–]cognitions 4 points5 points ago

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She used her vagina for its intended purpose? You can't leverage with an abundant resource.

[–]souldonkey 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah but...pain.

[–]cognitions 3 points4 points ago

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I've taken large shits, my friend. Don't talk to me about pain.

[–]jasmaree 1 point2 points ago

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Yes because childbirth = large shits.

[–]bellemarematt 5 points6 points ago

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that would cost $160.60 to send at today's current rates in the united states

[–]1878NH 18 points19 points ago

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The one time I watched The Notebook, I cried, not ashamed of it.

[–]DrAnhero 13 points14 points ago

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The ending really bothered me. I kept thinking to myself "well, that's not very comfortable."

[–]somad_ 3 points4 points ago

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manly tears :'(

[–]McBurger 0 points1 point ago

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I must have missed something. I didn't get it. The girl I was watching it with started crying and we had a passionate, vulnerable, good ol' mack session. But I didn't even get what went on and was surprised when it ended.

What am I saying!? ahem, attention ladies, I loved the notebook.

[–]halps32 10 points11 points ago

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I have two stories about the notebook:

1) About 5 or 6 years ago, my sister rented the notebook and I ended up watching it by myself the day after she'd watched it. Toward the end, a friend of mine called me, and she commented that I 'sounded funny'; I told her I'd just watched the notebook and was a little on edge. To this day, she uses the phrase "a little on edge" whenever something upsetting happens.

2) I was with my sister in the blockbuster she hired it from. An asian dude served her who had very poor English, and he said to her "you going to need tissue for this" - I took it as meaning the disc was dirty and would need to be cleaned pre watching. It dawned on me what he meant the day after.

[–]jimmytruelove 13 points14 points ago

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re: Point 2. Yeah I masturbated furiously over her too.

[–]treebeard42 4 points5 points ago

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It's the same warning you get when renting a porno...

[–]ImSoChangry 2 points3 points ago

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Oh yes I love me some Nicholas Sparks.

[–]CCECJHEMC 2 points3 points ago

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Repost >:c I posted this 3 days ago http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/n4qgi/sundays/

[–]imgur-mirror-bot 2 points3 points ago

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[–]emxiaks 7 points8 points ago

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Are you doing well? Where are you? It's been 4 years. This will be the 89th letter I've written but I will not send out any more. I hope that you receive this last letter. Zack! The flowers are selling very well. It makes everyone smile. It's all thanks to you. -Aerith

[–]Robincognito 6 points7 points ago

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"I wrote you everyday..."

What sort of grammar is that?

[–]Paxjax 4 points5 points ago

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Monday- you
Tuesday- you
Wednesday- you
Thursday- you
Friday- you
Saturday- you
Sunday- you

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I made this movie a few years back.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0MitdqoISo

Relevant?

Probably not.

[–]Ajscorpion3 1 point2 points ago

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The only discrepancy with that video is that here in Toronto no hooker looks like that. They are either Asian, a man, or 65.

I'm talking about the first one btw not the dude that actually went to your house, that's more or less accurate.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Lol you watched my movie? You sir, are awesome!

[–]poorsteamuser 2 points3 points ago

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I watched it too. I think I'm scarred for life.

[–]Butterspud 1 point2 points ago

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I guessed the twist of this movie within 5 minutes, which I hate doing because I like to be surprised when I watch a flick. Here's looking at you, The Village.

[–]MaritimeLawyer 1 point2 points ago

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All I kept thinking is "damn Rockford got old"

[–]platzie 1 point2 points ago

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Saw the Notebook for the first time the other day. Still believe it should be renamed "Girl Who Leaves War Veteran Fiance and Guy Who Leaves War Widow For Summer Fling"

[–]probably_high 1 point2 points ago

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  1. Every day is two words.
  2. He didn't say he mailed them every day, just that he wrote them every day.

[–]darknature 1 point2 points ago

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This is how I get out of watching chick flicks with my wife. Find something impossible or unaccurate in the movie. Then explain it. And either wife gets up and does something else or I get kicked off the couch, which I then process to go on reddit or play some video games. A win win for me ^

[–]pearson530 1 point2 points ago

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No repost on Sundays

FTFY

[–]cougarhart 1 point2 points ago

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The one time I watched it: .....that's a fuckload of ducks

[–]Kkrulestheworld 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, just because he wrote a letter everyday, doesn't mean he sent one everyday. I'm pretty sure they were smart enough to think about that...

[–]Bencool 3 points4 points ago

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[–]le_redditusername 1 point2 points ago

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[–]cnash6 0 points1 point ago

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my condolences, friend

[–]jorellh 0 points1 point ago

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Better not watch Hachiko then.

[–]witch_vampire 0 points1 point ago

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uncle vernon looks like derp :D

[–]Legendman3 0 points1 point ago

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Did noone else notice that the guys face is hilariously derp?

[–]mpmcfarlane 0 points1 point ago

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That's not entirely true. The USPS does run limited operations on Sundays.

[–]butterisbetter 0 points1 point ago

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  1. I ran outta gas.
  2. I had a flat tire.
  3. I didn’t have enough money for cab fare.
  4. My tux didn’t come back from the cleaners.
  5. An old friend came in from outta town.
  6. Someone stole my car.
  7. There was an earthquake,
  8. … a terrible flood,
  9. …locust’s.
    1. It wasn’t my fault!!

[–]adam1099 3 points4 points ago

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"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses." "Hit it."

[–]vadergeek 0 points1 point ago

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Well, he could write it on sunday and send two on monday. Which is, admittedly, rather unromantic... carrier pigeon?

[–]outstar 0 points1 point ago

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wouldn't that mean you get two letters on monday?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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I was lying in a fetal position, crying my eyes out, when I watched The Notebook.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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fatso has rabbit ears

[–]MKT17 0 points1 point ago

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Man i cried like a bitch first time i saw this film

[–]AbsoluteBlack 0 points1 point ago

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I can't be the only one who laughed at that perfectly formed 'derp' face.

[–]DaisyDoozer 0 points1 point ago

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but god almighty was rachel mcadams hot in that shit

[–]inceptionx 0 points1 point ago

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Oh look. It's this again.

[–]FireFoxMcCloud 0 points1 point ago

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LIK DIS IF U CRY EVERTIM

[–]seaquest_amd 4 points5 points ago

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5eva

[–]gid13 2 points3 points ago

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The one time I watched the Notebook, I hated the movie, and got laid afterwards. That thing is girl porn, people.

[–]DrAnhero 4 points5 points ago

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I got laid halfway through The People vs. Larry Flint. Still not sure how it ended, but I assume not guilty.

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]ph0replay -1 points0 points ago

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No homo.

[–]jerseykid 0 points1 point ago

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Guy here: Never watched the movie. Haven't been convinced to yet..I love girls reaction to that..

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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I'm a guy. What is this?

[–]Hufftey -4 points-3 points ago

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That's fucking hilarious. Just thought i should let you know.

[–]Georgesthoughts -1 points0 points ago

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you made my day

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]OmegaArcadia 10 points11 points ago

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Fuck, I'm upvoting this. I've never seen it before, and I enjoyed it. That's the point.

[–]Dr_Avocado 1 point2 points ago

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I feel like I've seen a comment like this before...

[–]diblasio 1 point2 points ago

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Because you had a whole 55 upvotes...

[–]_quickdrawmcgraw_ 0 points1 point ago

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thanks for linking to your submission.

[–]Jackstick[!] -1 points0 points ago

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He must have written her 1/4th of a letter sometime during the year, because a year is 365.25 days.

[–]cuddlefish -1 points0 points ago

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*every day

[–]EnkiduEnkita 7 points8 points ago

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*errday

[–]pumaRAWRR -1 points0 points ago

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best day of the week in my opinion

[–]meisenmann23 -1 points0 points ago

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Sorry about the downvote, but you were at 1112 points. My heart just couldn't take it.