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top 200 commentsshow all 258

[–]epahds 388 points389 points ago

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[–]daychilde 180 points181 points ago

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That's.... That's the fourth version? ಠ_ಠ

[–]farceur318 108 points109 points ago

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1-3 all resulted in painful deaths for those present at the time of testing.

[–]7oby 102 points103 points ago

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There's video of 3 committing these heinzous acts.

My favorite, though, is 2 teaching its son. It reminds me of the Luxo Jr.

[–]farceur318 75 points76 points ago

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Holy shit, that second video has to be one of the top five funniest things I have ever seen on the internet.

[–]MrNovember785 14 points15 points ago

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I agree, I am very laughing at this video.

[–]Bustycops 7 points8 points ago

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Holy shit, its' so stupid and simple yet this is by far the hardest I've laughed in a long time.

[–]minifi82 4 points5 points ago

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absolutely hilarious! the last 4-5 seconds are the icing on the cake (or the ketchup on the plate?!):

the junior robot "tripping" onto the plate, the hysterically rotating arms, then the squirting... and the ending: HEINZ! it's automatic! oh my god, so fucking stupid and funny :D

this is like a scripted ketchup-robot slapstick comedy

[–]danamos 9 points10 points ago

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This Martha Stewart clip of the inventors is cringeworthy.

[–]zeno82 3 points4 points ago

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I can't stop fucking laughing! How come these don't have way more views?

[–]NoticesIrony 1 point2 points ago

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I see you trying to start this pun thread! Good thing I caught you red-handed before it got out of control

[–]--Rosewater-- 2 points3 points ago

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Jeez! This pun thread started half an hour ago. Man, I really need to ketchup!

[–]Zovistograt -1 points0 points ago

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Mind if I squeeze in here?

[–]Magna_Sharta 9 points10 points ago

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I think this is the one where Skynet becomes self-aware

[–]HolyWaterEnema 2 points3 points ago

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They have a strict policy against non-aesthetic improvements.

[–]chairitable 1 point2 points ago

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yes, and they are all amazing

[–]zoomacrymosby 1 point2 points ago

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There is an reddit thread with the creators of the Heinz robots, but I don't feel like searching for it. They made a whole bunch of Heinz robots.

[–]bloed 72 points73 points ago

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Why can't I stop laughing?

[–]BDaught 60 points61 points ago

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The dramatic pause before the drive by.

[–]fancy-chips 68 points69 points ago

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the idea of a robot designed specifically to do a task and does it extremely poorly and in a comical fashion that leaves destruction in its wake. Not only that but after the first failure it continues to fail multiple times at its one task.

Its like a person that has one job and excitedly does it over and over again extremely bad.

[–]Homepie 36 points37 points ago

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It also acts in a method that makes it appear completely unaware of what an awful job it is doing, spinning its arms joyfully right before blasting the plate with a load of ketchup.

[–]acemnorsuvwxz 1 point2 points ago

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Subtle laugh track.

[–]RiseAM 23 points24 points ago

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My sister just spent 15 minutes in one of those uncontrollable fits of laughter that you can't stop until it's painful... thank you. I don't know why, but that was the funniest thing I've seen in a long, long time.

[–]MediaMoguls 3 points4 points ago

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[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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[–]BlazmoIntoWowee 2 points3 points ago

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Two was the best. When junior spoiler Classic.

[–]pawsforbear 24 points25 points ago

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I can't stop laughing at this ridiculous robit.

[–]Jman5 7 points8 points ago

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I laughed for so long that I completely forgot what the original submission was.

[–]needmoarbass 12 points13 points ago

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[–]mista0sparkle 8 points9 points ago

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Came expecting 'hit the 57' as the top comment. Leaving laughing harder than I've ever laughed at a reddit post.

[–]throwaway_for_keeps 4 points5 points ago

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I'm imagining that robot as a mentally challenged person screaming "I'M HELPING!"

I am not a nice person.

[–]MileyCylon 9 points10 points ago

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[–]throwaway_for_keeps 2 points3 points ago

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You're right. That made it so much better.

[–]DownvoteAttractor 5 points6 points ago

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This is why we need robots in the home

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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To wreck the place and give us something to clean up?!

[–]DownvoteAttractor 4 points5 points ago

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Yes

[–]ReallyCoolNickname 1 point2 points ago

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That's what the robots are for.

[–]KoopaTheCivilian 1 point2 points ago

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Isn't that why we make children?

[–]CCMSTF 2 points3 points ago

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I also spin my arms around like that when I take a dump.

[–]sol7117 8 points9 points ago

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oh boy oh boy....no!! wait!! god dammit!!! what are you.... ಠ_ಠ sigh

[–]fzer0 3 points4 points ago

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Thank you so much. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Now the muscles around the back of my head are sore.

[–]Sunupu 1 point2 points ago

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That's the funniest thing I've ever seen. That noise it makes gets me giggling like a school-girl.

[–]tr41t0r 1 point2 points ago

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[–]kc7wbq 0 points1 point ago

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As some one who participated in similar events, I laughed out loud.

[–]Jeob 0 points1 point ago

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You've got to follow that video up with this one - it's icing on the cake.

[–]veyronb 0 points1 point ago

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That 'Potential' poster looks awesome ... where can I get one?

[–]Jman5 0 points1 point ago

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The future... is NOW!

[–]whoreson_zed 0 points1 point ago

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Holy shit thank you

[–]Aegean 0 points1 point ago

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Now I have seen everything.

[–]ChaoticAgenda 0 points1 point ago

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The arm wind-up is what got me. It had me in tears at work.

[–]bobsteaman 0 points1 point ago

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Those small arms remind me of Trogdor. Burninating the... eh... sausage.

[–]Ajaksbackpac 0 points1 point ago

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If you thought the original ketchup video was funny, I bring you(and thanks comment guy on the other thread) This masterpiece

[–]Im_A_Sock_Puppet 30 points31 points ago

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My grandma used to say, "Shake, Shake the ketchup bottle / none'll come, and then a lot'll."

[–]awk4ward 42 points43 points ago

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My Uncle Jim would say the same to me while grabbing his "ketchup bottle".

[–]triumphant_cosmonaut 9 points10 points ago

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Cue repressed memory. Thanks a lot

[–]agbullet 3 points4 points ago

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My Uncle John would say the same to me while grabbing my "ketchup bottle".

[–]BlackbeltJones 2 points3 points ago

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Some folk'll never lose a toe, but then again, some folk'll... like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel.

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 1 point2 points ago

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Some folk'll never eat a bug, but then again, some folk'll...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Eloquinn 23 points24 points ago

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It's from a short called Join Hands, Let Go. Very, very weird. I only know because there's a rifftrax of it. Here's a link: http://www.rifftrax.com/shorts/join-hands-let-go

It's definitely worth a buck to watch.

[–]histumness 17 points18 points ago

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Come on, nobody??

[–]raimondious 16 points17 points ago

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Yeah wtf, I just told these people "the first comment is going to be the youtube for this" and now I look like a damn fool. You failed me Reddit.

[–]SPACE_LAWYER 9 points10 points ago

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its from a sketch comedy show from poland I cant remember the name someone will probably reply with it

[–]fj785 7 points8 points ago

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I am Polish. I think the show you may be referring to is Kabaret. It's similar to SNL in that there are many different skits. I don't know which Kabaret skit it could be from unfortunately.

[–]cport1 83 points84 points ago

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Notice the 57 on the bottle? That's what you're supposed to aim for.

[–]Carl_Wheathers 44 points45 points ago

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With a hammer.

[–]gder 15 points16 points ago

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Why doesn't everyone know this? Hold the bottle at a 45 and tap on the "57" at the base of the neck with the palm of your hand.

[–]BonesIIX 29 points30 points ago

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because there are only so many people from pittsburgh. and the 57 trick was completely accidental.

[–]SystemOutPrintln 8 points9 points ago

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Ssh we agreed to not leak this to the public in the last Pittsburgh Ketchup Summit.

[–]jettrscga 4 points5 points ago

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Texan here: I let a friend from Pittsburgh stay at my house over the summer and she always commented on the ketchup anywhere we went if it wasn't Heinz based on the taste alone. Having witnessed that, I am 100% positive you people actually have these meetings up there.

[–]FoxtrotBeta6 3 points4 points ago

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Let us not discuss the minutes of the Canadian Condiment Conference either. The future of ketchup and mustard will never be the same again, just you wait.

[–]gder 1 point2 points ago

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I'm not from Pittsburgh but I do have family roots there...maybe it's genetic. I can't remember where I learned the trick though, it's something I've been doing for as long as I can remember.

[–]cptncrnch 1 point2 points ago

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I learned this at Johnny Rockets.

[–]realgenius 1 point2 points ago

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Me too!

[–]shook_one 1 point2 points ago

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HOW COULD I NOT KNOW? ITS SUCH A CLEAR INDICATOR

[–]rexskimmer 2 points3 points ago

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I'm surprised that a good portion of people didn't know this, I learned this at an early age. I'm guessing plastic has taken over too much these days.

[–]papillon24 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for truth....and for FSMs sake, don't stick a knife up there!!!

[–]OccamsAxe 22 points23 points ago

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Looks kind of like Luke Skywalker. He's just showing off his amazing mastery of the Force, the jackass.

[–]CyberWalrus 23 points24 points ago

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Use the sauce, Luke.

[–]crablin 22 points23 points ago

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The sauce is strong in this bun.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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I came to the comments to see if it was Mark Hamill

[–]markhamill 2 points3 points ago

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It isn't.

[–]TomCADK 1 point2 points ago

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Jedi prank.

[–]trampus1 11 points12 points ago

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Stop living in the 70's and just buy the damned squeeze bottle.

[–]Deakul 4 points5 points ago

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Seriously, I can't believe these are still used.

[–]ac_soldat 9 points10 points ago

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Either that, or that nasty ketchup-water comes out.

[–]TommyBaseball 18 points19 points ago

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Fucking Non-Newtonian fluids, how do they work?

[–]snarkyaardvark 2 points3 points ago

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Magnets, they work using magnets.

[–]chillax_bro_im_jk 78 points79 points ago

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Happens every time I try to get the tampon out...

[–]ImJustJokingCalmDown 18 points19 points ago

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Your novelty is highly unoriginal.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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Your novelty is very uncreative

[–]whoadave 5 points6 points ago

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No, I think that's yours.

[–]JerkingOffToKarma 15 points16 points ago

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So much for WTF going to it's roots.... this belongs in r/funny.

[–]DrAidsburger 16 points17 points ago

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-Directed by Quentin Tarantino

[–]TheMightyWomble 3 points4 points ago

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Aww man, I shot dinner in the face.

[–]indenturedsmile 5 points6 points ago

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So, source?

[–]you_of_all_people 1 point2 points ago

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So, sauce?

[–]McTeazy 5 points6 points ago

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does no one here use plastic ketchup bottles?

[–]po43292 2 points3 points ago

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seriously, i haven't seen one of those glass bottles in 10 years.

[–]humanman42 4 points5 points ago

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45 degree angle, hit on the 57. Done

[–]schplat 3 points4 points ago

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Always leave space for air to travel back up the bottle while you pour and it'll always come out just fine. It's when you seal the neck with ketchup will it cease to pour.

[–]kingjmy 3 points4 points ago

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I always just stick a butter knife (or handle or a fork? something) in the top, and it pours out easily. I have no shame.

[–]substitute_service 6 points7 points ago

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[–]SirWarrington 3 points4 points ago

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Well you know what they say, "If you can't cut the mustard, lick the jar."

-Abe Lincoln

[–]gdt1320 4 points5 points ago

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Bingham plastics, how do they work???

[–]themangeraaad 2 points3 points ago

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Am I the only one who doesn't really have any trouble with those bottles?

[–]storebrand 2 points3 points ago

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Shake and shake the ketchup bottle, none'll come and then a lot'll

[–]perrygeo 1 point2 points ago

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ok, who gave my grandpa a reddit account?

[–]delaghetto 2 points3 points ago

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You still buy ketchup in a glass bottle?

[–]No1Complainer 2 points3 points ago

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Am I seriously the only person in the world that knows how to do this?

I should make a video, but for now I'll just describe the process.

1.) Grab ketchup bottle.

2.) Look at bottle, check ketchup level.

3.) If ketchup level is more than 3/4 full, jump to step 5, if not, proceed to step 4.

4.) While keeping the bottle cap/top on, pound the bottle into the palm of your hand, opening end first. This is the same concept of seatbelts and other physics. You start the ketchup in motion, your hand stops the motion of the bottle, the ketchup keeps moving, ends up hitting the bottle cap, and piles the ketchup up at the top. This method allows you to execute greater velocity and obtaining desired result faster (ketchup at the bottom's opening),

5.) Open ketchup and pour.

6.) enjoy

[–]kobun253 1 point2 points ago

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or store the ketchup "upside down" and have it all collect next to the cap....

[–]kev2600 1 point2 points ago

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I liked the sound on that gif

[–]excited_by_typos 1 point2 points ago

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Is this from SNL? I remember a great skit from the 90's called something like "5 Guys Around A Campfire Dealing With An Overabundance Of Fluids"

Basically one guy opened a beer that never stopped spraying foam which caused another guy to cut himself and bleed a pool while another guy like, pissed himself or something, I don't remember. I watched it on Netflix last year. Great shit.

[–]averyrdc 1 point2 points ago

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Protip: Shake the ketchup bottle vigorously with the cap on, then when opened it will pour.

[–]Johnny10toes 1 point2 points ago

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Bring the bottle down with one hand and make it hit your hand right on the shoulder of the bottle. Bottle needs to be facing down...

[–]postmodgirl 1 point2 points ago

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Oh god, it's just like me on my period.

[–]Luxorian 1 point2 points ago

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Are you still using ketchup in glass bottles? Jeez.

[–]MelangeMentat 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Oo0o8o0oO 1 point2 points ago

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Plastic bottles?

[–]rmg22893 1 point2 points ago

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Hit it on the neck, not the base. Ketchup liquefies when it is agitated; hitting it on the base only liquefies the ketchup at the bottom, leaving all the rest of the ketchup to stop up the bottle.

[–]walrus99 1 point2 points ago

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ketchup is a non-Newtonian fluid. hold the bottle down and tap on the 76 label on the neck

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-Newtonian_fluid

[–]zeroone 1 point2 points ago

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57, you twit

[–]cjcrashoveride 1 point2 points ago

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Happens every time I try to touch myself

FTFY

[–]LettersFromTheSky 1 point2 points ago

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Happens every time when I do touch myself

FTFY

[–]Alabama_Man 1 point2 points ago

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Why not just buy squeezable ketchup bottles.

[–]longjohntomson 1 point2 points ago

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LPT, if you hit the 57 on the side of the bottle, the ketchup comes out quicker.

[–]itsokgiani 1 point2 points ago

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Tap the 57. Works everytime.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Tap it on the 57 on the glass on the side.

[–]apullin 3 points4 points ago

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[–]po43292 1 point2 points ago

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You calling dupe? Couldn't tell.

[–]cosmokazi 1 point2 points ago

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oh wow, I was on /gif/ last night too!

[–]ziper1221 2 points3 points ago

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Come for the porn, stay for the ketchup

[–]mediapl0y 0 points1 point ago

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You're doing it wrong.

[–]jonboomer 0 points1 point ago

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This seems like something that would come straight out of a 4chan green-text story.

[–]thebootlegsaint 0 points1 point ago

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That started out funny and got creepy.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Is that Robbie Robertson?

[–]LeGazedo 0 points1 point ago

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Every fucking time

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Thats why Rick Perry wants to ban all glass ketchup bottles! Rick Perry looking out for you like Obama never did!!!111

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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happened to me on my first date, true story.

[–]nathanwrnr 0 points1 point ago

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[–]calpoop 0 points1 point ago

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With A1 steak sauce, this effect intensifies exponentially. I learned the hard way.

[–]dreamqueen9103 0 points1 point ago

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This will be 2Xchromosomes new shark week gif very soon.

[–]CAPCHECK 0 points1 point ago

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Prince Charles? Back when he had hair?

[–]ellevehc 0 points1 point ago

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God dammit I HATE glass ketchup bottles. They make me furious! The squeezable plastic ones, no the reusable ones, are the best. I wish I had a box of those glass ones right now so I could smash them against a brick wall. UGGGGHHHHHHHHH

[–]ben1sm4 0 points1 point ago

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hit the Heinz! I promise, it works. Turn the bottle upside down and use your palm to hit the label.

[–]Bratva 0 points1 point ago

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One thing I'll always remember my Grandpa telling me what to half cup one of your hand, and basically pat the ketchup bottle into your half cuped hand so when it hits your hand, it should come out pretty smooth.

It's hard to explain, but when the bottle hits your hand you should be holding it like you are cupping a pair of balls.

[–]goat_hurrdurr 0 points1 point ago

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That looks like my dick, except instead of ketchup, it's AIDS blood

[–]Kehrnal 0 points1 point ago

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[–]packie12 0 points1 point ago

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Best gif on the internet.

[–]Bone_Machine 0 points1 point ago

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He looks like Mick Jagger.

[–]stopdoingthat 0 points1 point ago

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Ha ha! Yeah! And what's up with airplane food, right?

[–]Carbuncl3 0 points1 point ago

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Protip: Hold the bottle on a 45 degree angle. Make a fist with the other hand. Gently tap the bottle onto your first. It will come out easier.

[–]Qaplalala 0 points1 point ago

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You need to lay off the LSD.

[–]Ap_science 0 points1 point ago

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Never seen this before, did you make it?

[–]Faroffhighways 0 points1 point ago

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!JUDO CHOP! that fifty-seven!

[–]EmptyAndFrantic 0 points1 point ago

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Wow, the thumbnail kind of looks like a doctor holding a disfigured baby.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Nice way to repost my stuff.

[–]Sarahmint 0 points1 point ago

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What is that from???

[–]lesbianlasergun 0 points1 point ago

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hahaha, i was on /gif/ 6 hours ago too!

[–]shook_one 0 points1 point ago

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yea that happened a lot when i used ketchup bottles 30 years ago

[–]electric_creamsicle 0 points1 point ago

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I hope this isn't going to be on my fluid mechanics final.

[–]Zitkovich 0 points1 point ago

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Does this look like an Asian Edward James Olmos to anyone else?

[–]CPTSaltyDog 0 points1 point ago

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i was taught by a restaurant employee that you tap the label on glass ketchup bottles to get it out. really works.

[–]ItsYourMoney 0 points1 point ago

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This happens to other things as well

[–]theuberaids 0 points1 point ago

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thats what my dick does when i jack off

[–]jdog667jkt 0 points1 point ago

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Seems like a scene from that show "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"

[–]indiumtinoxide 0 points1 point ago

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No me gusta!!!

[–]theworsttasteinmusic 0 points1 point ago

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This constitutes being in /r/WTF how?

[–]Squealing_Mage 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Goff61 0 points1 point ago

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Watching this gif while taking a shit brings a whole new meaning to it...

[–]Scott5114 0 points1 point ago

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I don't even bother using ketchup bottles. Whenever I ask for ketchup at a fast food drive thru around here they usually hand out a giant handful of packets. I only end up using one or two, so I keep the surplus and have never needed to actually purchase ketchup.

[–]krowface 0 points1 point ago

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Sauce?

[–]whyisthisnamesolong 0 points1 point ago

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[–]gotee 0 points1 point ago

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Dave Grohl?

[–]sneekypeet 0 points1 point ago

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ENOUGH WITH THE HEINZ AUTOMATO

Use your fucking brain.

http://youtu.be/4wDdEDFv9LU

EDIT: Grammar

[–]mrdoink20 0 points1 point ago

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Why can't I hold all these ketchups?

[–]panzan 0 points1 point ago

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Do you live in 1983?

SQUEEZE BOTTLE. Ask for it at your local grocerteria

[–]BmBoWnZ 0 points1 point ago

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The amount of ketchup in this bottle is too damn low - OH SHIT

[–]Peekee 0 points1 point ago

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For some reason the ketchup in glass bottles taste better than the other ones

[–]Aleksander73 0 points1 point ago

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I've never seen this before, ever.

[–]watchmeasifly 0 points1 point ago

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TIL "try to get the ketchup out" means fap.

[–]Canucklehead99 0 points1 point ago

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"Some things are worth waiting for"

[–]emilytasticz0rz 0 points1 point ago

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And this is WTF why?

[–]stahlgrau 0 points1 point ago

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Tap it on the 57.

[–]Saturdays 0 points1 point ago

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Was in an interview, went to lunch.

Had some fries in my order, began to shake ketchup bottle to pour ketchup.

Looked like I was jacking off.

Didn't get the job.

[–]OlderAndAngrier 0 points1 point ago

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I just don't understand why people use those glass bottles anymore or better yet why restaurants have them in use....

I personally think that everytime you enter a restaruant/cafe/etc. that uses those archaic bottles you are obliged to cause as much mess as possible. Maybe they then will stop using them.

[–]ThislsWholAm 0 points1 point ago

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At least it's out.

[–]dyq99 0 points1 point ago

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Ahah i can not stop myself laughing :))

[–]Chops_II 0 points1 point ago

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When pouring sauce from a bottle, first none will come; and then a lot'l

[–]frickingphil 0 points1 point ago

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tap the motherfucking 57

[–]ballzy 0 points1 point ago*

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I bet the guy in a swivel chair with a leaf blower can help get the ketchup out of the bottle.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfjorMkjYPM

[–]Gristledorf 0 points1 point ago

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Hah this reminds me of when I used to babysit.

[–]Georgesthoughts 0 points1 point ago

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not many people know the Heinz secret, apply pressure to the bottle neck and it comes out easier, just like a penis. true story.

[–]Sketch13 0 points1 point ago

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This should be in an infomercial. The black and white clips of people having an obvious hard time with a simple task.

"Are you sick of that darn ketchup getting stuck in the bottle and finally when you get it out it gets everywhere?"

[–]talontario 0 points1 point ago

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So a little trick for all of you! Leave the ketchup, preferably brand new, bottle up-side down in direct sunlight or a suitable location with enough heat. Serve to friend/stranger and enjoy the explosion!

[–]doublemcslutjr 0 points1 point ago

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Stupid ketchup!

[–]stromm 0 points1 point ago

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Never tap the bottom, always tap the side (with the bottle on its side)

[–]historic66 0 points1 point ago

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With me, it's usually like this

[–]mawst95 0 points1 point ago

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Hold ketchup bottle at 45 degree downward angle, chop lightly on the "Heinz" logo on the neck (or if not Heinz, then chop on the neck), and ketchup comes out nicely after about 4-7 chops.

[–]vitre0us 0 points1 point ago

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Happens to me once a month..