Dr Zealot's guide to overcoming modern man bullshit:

No confidence: Who cares what other people think?

No money: She'll pay.

No college plans: You're a dumbass or a genius, male or female.

No friends: Get a hobby son. Go dancing.

Boring: Why are you wasting your life doing things you hate?

Obscure interests: Makes you more attractive.

Quiet: Make up for it in facial expressions. 90% of all communication is without voice anyway.

Rejects a member of the opposite sex: She obviously didn't meet your requirements.

Expects sex as part of a relationship: You're a stud and you know what you want.

Not in the mood for sex: Long day at work, sick, or tired. Duh.

Bad in bed: Just lie back. Oh, you can't ride a dick? Fuck you bitch.

Raped and needs help: Tons of support groups. Also, there's hot chicks there who need a good, clean, honest fucking. Get your mind right then enjoy the free sex.

Want to end your current marriage: Get married in name only, don't get the sign a certificate. Works even for Christians, since marriage is supposed to be a union of two people under god. Why is the government in your marriage anyway? It's about you and her.

Shitty, low end job with no career prospects: All you have to do is be good looking.

Owns guns: Prepared. Knowledgable. Safe.

Don't want an expensive wedding: Financially savvy.

Don't play sports / gym: Working out is part of life. Find a way that suits your personality. Geek? Play DDR or Dance Central.

Your country has conscription: You're fucked. Agreed.

You think the world is biased against your gender: Millions of men around the world agree with you.

You aren't physically capable of the work: Maybe you're smarter, then?

You aren't attractive: It's easier for guys to exercise and get big muscles than it is for girls to get big boobs and ass.

Had sex with an underaged member of the opposite sex: Slap on the wrist, especially if you're handsome / rich.

Throw an emotional tantrum to try to get your way: You're an emotional guy and you need a way to express yourself.

Hit your spouse during an argument: Violence is not the answer (also, the bitch deserved it.)

Expect gifts during valentine's day and other holidays: A man needs a woman who knows what he wants.

Wants to feel as much pleasure as possible during sex: Girls should want to swallow your cum and be happy they were able to fuck you.

You can't cook and don't want to do the housework: Orderly house, orderly mind. Also, throwing stuff into piles is efficient.

You are into "weird" hobbies: Find other girls in those hobbies. You're a nerd-baller.

You want to wait till marriage for sex: You have strong principles you believe in.

You are homosexual or bi: Girls think you're really hot.

Want a wide variety of clothing and fashion styles: Near infinite choices.

Enjoy masturbation: It's everyone's dirty secret.

Feel horny, want to get a one night stand: Go to the nearest bar/club/etc, ask a girl to buy YOU a drink. Fuck.

Dump your current partner: She was a bitch anyway.

Crying and being emotion: Men will rush to comfort you.

Have a particular sexual fetish: That's soooo hot!