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all 53 comments

[–]RushKah 20 points21 points ago

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I'm happy and I don't need my fairy godparents anymore? Why would I say that?

[–]Herborist 10 points11 points ago

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I'M A FAIRY THAT LOOKS LIKE ARNOLD TERMINATOR AND I'M HERE TO TAKE YOUR GODPARENTS BECAUSE I LACK THE ABILITY TO PROCESS SENTENCE SEMANTICALLY

[–]RushKah 0 points1 point ago

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Oh no oh god im not using periods or correct punctuation what the hell is going on

[–]UncleTofer 15 points16 points ago

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And the cake would be made with only icing

[–]Jucoy 4 points5 points ago

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Bacon icing.

[–]BigFatCake 1 point2 points ago

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Lots of big fat dam bacon

[–]pretzelzetzel 1 point2 points ago

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Fat dam bacon is a Dutch fad that died when they discovered thinner bacon with which to construct their flood-preventative dikes.

It's called the 21st century, and it's really not so bad. You should join it.

[–]dudepostingonreddit 13 points14 points ago

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[–]Tastes_like_SATAN 1 point2 points ago

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Official restaurant of r/dwarffortress.

[–]RickHayes 5 points6 points ago

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If Reddit had a restaurant, it would be for delivery only.

[–]jb700000 3 points4 points ago

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hot waitresses dressed as narwhals. attire: neckbeards. hours of operation: only when you're supposed to be doing something else

[–]cuteCatalyst 8 points9 points ago

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Only problem, they would never sever the same thing twice or people would start shouting REPOST.

[–]kinkyslinky 2 points3 points ago

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Fuckin smart.

[–]Lord_of_Womba 3 points4 points ago

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I'd eat there

[–]FalconPunch12 2 points3 points ago

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you forgot cats. Also, needs more bacon.

[–]DaPurpleCobra 2 points3 points ago

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I'm throwing money at the screen, WHY WON'T YOU TAKE IT!?!

[–]NeedsMoreCrazy 2 points3 points ago

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Pie and Bacon*.

[–]rawlingstones 2 points3 points ago

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Cakon.

[–]ApatheticElephant 2 points3 points ago

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Am I the only person on Reddit who's not a huge fan of bacon? I mean, I don't mind it, but it's certainly not the best part of the pig, and I feel sick if I have too much of it, or even after looking at pictures of bacon for too long. (In other words, too much reddit) What's wrong with pork or ham? Ham's great. Everyone loves ham. Except muslims and vegetarians. Why is it bacon?

Cake is fine, by the way.

[–]dwblind22 1 point2 points ago

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I have a deep and burning hatred for ham. Actually bacon is the only part of a pig that I truly like. As far as I can tell there is just something inherently awesome about bacon... I do not question this.

[–]TripleDster 2 points3 points ago

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Is it just me or does anyone else think, when the word Bacon is seen the first thing that comes to mind is EPIC MEAL TIME

[–]h4rofan 7 points8 points ago

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But it would only sell bacon, because the cake is a lie.

[–]BigFatCake 6 points7 points ago

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IT IS NOT

[–]Dub124 2 points3 points ago

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You're alright by me.

[–]RAAM_n_Noodles 1 point2 points ago

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Damn You for beating me to it! (Up-voted anyway...)

[–]bdayandfriends 1 point2 points ago

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dinkelbergggggg

[–]Herborist 1 point2 points ago

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More like "Kittens and Bacon."

[–]littlejiglet 1 point2 points ago

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This is the worst combination in existence. I have tried it. Oh the stomach ache!

[–]partyxday 1 point2 points ago

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You are not redditing hard enough.

[–]BigFatCake 1 point2 points ago

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CAKE

[–]n0ne0ther 1 point2 points ago

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Hmmm... Time to experiment.

[–]StonedDigitalMonster 1 point2 points ago

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"If EpicMealTime were to ever open a restaurant chain..." FTFY

[–]Calvert4096 1 point2 points ago

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House special: Narwhal steak. Wrapped in bacon.

[–]ramagedamage 1 point2 points ago

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With lots of frosting on our cake

[–]Tanjiro 1 point2 points ago

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Cakes composed of 100% frosting.

[–]krissieprissie 1 point2 points ago

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As a waitress/bartender, I'd prefer upvotes/downvotes over some fuckass wanting to talk to a manager about situations completely out of my control.

[–]RazXIII 1 point2 points ago

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I'd be a regular.

[–]pretzelzetzel 1 point2 points ago

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A reddit restaurant chain would never succeed, because the regular customers would notice yesterday's meal was still on the menu and stomp around shouting "Repost! Repost!"

[–]Reindeer411 1 point2 points ago

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Why is the pig heiling Hitler?

[–]boxes_full_of_pepe 1 point2 points ago

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I used to go to a restaurant called the Ice Cream, Chicken, and Ribs Depot. That was all it had. Ice Cream, Chicken, and Ribs.

[–]bernkastel87 1 point2 points ago

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I'd go late for the 2 AM chili special.

[–]stansp 1 point2 points ago

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Cats as the waiters/waitresses?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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And a sister restaurant called, "Waffles and Carrots".

[–]ghost_of_doors 1 point2 points ago

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Wouldn't it be called "Eaddit"?

[–]passivelyaggressive 1 point2 points ago

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It all makes sense now.

[–]ElephantMonkey420 1 point2 points ago

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*Maple Bacon Cupcake: vanilla bacon cake | maple cinnamon buttercream | crumbled maple bacon from Scratch Cupcakery in Cedar Falls, Iowa! Scratch

[–]dwblind22 1 point2 points ago

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There is someone out there that can make this happen. Please for the love of all that is diabetes succeed in this venture.

[–]captainbacon 1 point2 points ago

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Principal Waxleplax! What's one of the most powerful people in Dimmsdale doing here? I'm here for the bacon of course! I'm frosting intolerant.

Also: When do we get to the ride?

[–]jokkir 1 point2 points ago

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Expected cats. Left disappointed.

[–]IronMikeT 0 points1 point ago

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and it would be cat friendly

[–]magnus89 0 points1 point ago

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And the same dishes would be served every three months or so

[–]SippinOnaTallBoy 0 points1 point ago

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...the cake is a lie...

[–]Reechani 0 points1 point ago

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i always thought it would have the sub title "Beat your own dead horses!"