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all 55 comments

[–]ARelevantPoem 39 points40 points ago

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I went to the barber. He cut off my hair, which would have been great, but he didn't stop there.

He slipped with his scissors. He snipped with his shears, and cut off my eyebrows and both of my ears.

I jumped in my seat causing several more slips; he cut off my nose and my cheeks and my lips.

With one final slip-up he cut off my head, and that is the reason I ended up dead.

So kids, if your dad tells you, "You need a trim," just pull out this poem and show it to him.

As soon as he reads this, I'm willing to bet, that that's the last haircut that you'll ever get.

[–]PeriodSpaces 9 points10 points ago

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Attend.the.tale.of.Sweeney.Todd

His.skin.was.pale.and.his.eye.was.odd

He.shaved.the.faces.of.gentlemen

Who.never.thereafter.were.heard.of.again

He.trod.a.path.that.few.have.trod

Did.Sweeney.Todd

The.demon.barber.of.Fleet.Street

[–]Scottanias 6 points7 points ago

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It really takes me too long to read people's usernames. High five, sir.

[–]ronthesecond 1 point2 points ago

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You make Sweeney Todd happy :-)

[–]the_cdl 1 point2 points ago

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At least he didn't go in for a Brazilian.

[–]Cayou 0 points1 point ago

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[–]jordaddy -3 points-2 points ago

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upvote for you

[–]F4il3d 13 points14 points ago

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If you think Edward is bad at this game, you should see him trying to make balloon animals.

[–]Synical__Sandwich 6 points7 points ago*

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I was thinking, "oh boy... a Twilight image.. NOPE! YAY!" Oh my god a childhood story character I found interesting :D

[–]kain57012 16 points17 points ago

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I was expecting Sparkly Vamps at first and cringed but clicked anyway. Then saw greatness. Well Done.

[–]emkael 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, we're taking the word "Edward" back. Along with some other.

[–]genericwit 5 points6 points ago

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I was thinking of the Tom Waits song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tdk4F7yqvZI

[–]karmafreesince83111 1 point2 points ago

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Wow, that's totally so not sparkly*

[–]lolersauresrex 4 points5 points ago

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I'd be pretty upset if my image didn't exist anymore either. Anyone else having issues viewing it?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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I don't get it... How much twilight knowledge should one have in order to get this?

[–]jordaddy 3 points4 points ago

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i see what you did thar

[–]JBB_Alien 2 points3 points ago

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[–]assholebiker 1 point2 points ago

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Rock always beats scissors.

[–]Photoshops_Penises 0 points1 point ago

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Am I missing something funny here?

[–]WasIRong 1 point2 points ago

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Here's the thing about this picture: why is there a 0 above edward?

[–]arcanition 1 point2 points ago

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Poor Edward? At least he was defeated by a formidable foe! Poor Thing! He didn't even stand a chance!

[–]King_Theseus 1 point2 points ago

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A challenger appears.

[–]Mikepsyche 1 point2 points ago

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Did you hear the news about Edward? On the back of his head he had another face Was it a woman's face or a young girl? They said to remove it would kill him So poor Edward was doomed

[–]zoidberg_jesus 4 points5 points ago

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Not enough Waits fans on Reddit, I guess.

[–]BAWCATBOM 4 points5 points ago

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you might be thrilled to know that i trawled through the comments to see if someone had already made this connection. you glorious motherfucker, i'm glad you're alive.

[–]Mikepsyche 0 points1 point ago

Hehehe, I am, not sure why it took me this long to respond either

cheers

[–]jordaddy -2 points-1 points ago

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dafuq?

[–]TrueMilli 2 points3 points ago

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They made that joke pretty much in the movie? What is the point of this?

You could at least have used this dude.

[–]thatErraticguy 0 points1 point ago

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I think poor Edward is being taken advantage of

[–]people_are_animals 0 points1 point ago

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I'm tearing up a little bit at the fact that the first thought that came to my head when i read edward was vampire. Excuse me while I go shower in my self loathing.

[–]otisramflow 0 points1 point ago

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Poorer Jeff Daniels. By the way that's a pretty good movie. http://www.crankycritic.com/archive10/posters/paper_man.jpg

[–]lil_ffffff_crumb 0 points1 point ago

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Someone needs to add this guy.

[–]mishna 0 points1 point ago

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I guess Yomiko Readman was Ed's first opponent?

[–]nice_beaver 0 points1 point ago

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You know what this poster badly needs? A Paper Mario!

[–]2002120141 0 points1 point ago

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Rock hard being able to beat the rock hard monkey.

[–]jigby61 0 points1 point ago

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No fair :(

[–]lagspike 0 points1 point ago

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an edward reference that isnt about twilight.

have an upvote.

[–]staircar 0 points1 point ago

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I am just so grateful this wasn't anything to do with Twlight. I'm glad I clicked it on it anyways.

[–]JimbobTheBuilder 0 points1 point ago

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[–]PinaCollateral 0 points1 point ago

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I'm just surprised they would play 23 games of that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Yo dawg I herd you liek mastur-

Nevermind.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Great, now he's going to go home and cut himself...

[–]The_Doctor_00 0 points1 point ago

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So glad it was this Edward instead of Mr. V-Sparkleface Edward!

[–]MaverickPanda 0 points1 point ago

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Not as bad as either of them trying to play Jenga

[–]1htaehn 0 points1 point ago

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up-voted for not being a Twilight reference.

[–]esssssss 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Staplerman3 0 points1 point ago

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I thought this picture was going to be about Twilight and make me mad. Instead it was an awesome Edward Scissorhands reference, which made me happy and not mad at all.

[–]juscuz96 0 points1 point ago

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Its good to know i wasn't the only one expecting some twilight photo.

[–]scmc698 -2 points-1 points ago

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i have a feeling a bunch of u all thought this was going to be sum stupid twilight shit post.