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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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all 174 comments

[–]mark331 227 points228 points ago

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I printed this picture and taped it onto my dorm room door. Now whenever a chick walks by, they stop to look at the picture. When that happens it looks like their smiling at me through the peephole.

[–]murder1 138 points139 points ago

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Trapdoor spider that situation.

[–]simulated_identity 20 points21 points ago

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what a lovely niche evolutionary development

[–]tttruckit 6 points7 points ago

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this comment wins.

[–]redbook123 33 points34 points ago

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I am now imagining you standing at your door, looking through the peephole, just waiting for a girl to walk by...

[–]henkrogue 9 points10 points ago

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you know that is what he does!

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points ago

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And while every smile and every instance of indirect eye contact through the warped lense is directly deposited in the spank bank, he also withdraws from it at the same time.

[–]wuy3 5 points6 points ago

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need forever alone rageface in here ASAP!

[–]BillStickers99 18 points19 points ago

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Cut a glory hole in your dorm room door. You'll thank me later.

[–]maineak 10 points11 points ago

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[–]mark331 2 points3 points ago

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I love it!

[–]Rubin0 5 points6 points ago

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And now I'm depressed. Thanks.

[–]guntfuddler 4 points5 points ago

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No girl is cute proof.

[–]FountainsOfChez 0 points1 point ago

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I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

[–]smellyy 0 points1 point ago

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it's a trap

[–]Limepirate 0 points1 point ago

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don't get smacked by the door if they decide to come in bro

[–]pants6000 58 points59 points ago

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The duck doesn't get wet, the water gets duck instead.

[–]SimonAndGnarfunkel 4 points5 points ago

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Triangle man hates duckling man.

[–]Keith 1 point2 points ago

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Awesome TMBG reference!

[–]ksulli10 23 points24 points ago

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Unfortunately, they are not waterproof. I found out the hard way. RIP Daffy... I'm sorry I didn't know you guys can't swim indefinitely. :(

[–]Chuckar 21 points22 points ago

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True. Having worked somewhere that sold baby birds, we had a lot of customers bring back 'defective' birds after we told them not to put them in the bath tub. They get the water repellent from the mother, no mother means a slow sinking baby duck.

[–]rotzooi 43 points44 points ago

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a slow sinking baby duck.

Dude.

Now I have a sad.

[–]WhyAmINotStudying 6 points7 points ago

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FWIW, dead baby ducks are delicious.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points ago

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By "defective," do you mean dead? :|

[–]WhyAmINotStudying 13 points14 points ago

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What is your dove return policy?

[–]Perseus109 4 points5 points ago

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No, pineing for the Fjords.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Chuckar 6 points7 points ago*

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Some people think that ducks live in the water all the time. This might be true for them in the wild because they have access to the water repellent, but for a domestic duck it is a death sentence. So, some people will buy these, usually around Easter, take them home and put them in the bath tube because ducks love water. This happens even after we told them not to. Some people just know better than you do? They never got their money back, or a new bird.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Chuckar 2 points3 points ago

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I never really understood it either. Baby chickens and baby ducks are very popular around Easter. Since that is what they did, it went hand in hand. Most of the pople said they were going to give the bird to their kids. They never thought about the bird growing up. Lots of people try to return them after a few weeks when they don't look so cute. This is just my experience, and in no way am I qualified to explain these people's motivations.

[–]collegedropout 0 points1 point ago

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That's crazy. The local shelter in my area refuses to adopt out bunnies around Easter and I think they may be a bit more selective as far as black cats go around Halloween as well. Which makes sense, in my opinion. Seems awfully wrong to sell a bunch of baby birds because 'they sell' if you aren't sure that they aren't going to be misused or treated badly.

[–]Bubblebath_expert 0 points1 point ago

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Easter soup, obviously.

[–]nokstar 2 points3 points ago

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this kills the duck

[–]CLSmith15 1 point2 points ago

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Was going to point this out, but thanks for beating me to the punch. Unless I am much mistaken, they only become "waterproof" when their adult feathers come in. Those feathers are oily, unlike the downy feathers you see here.

[–][deleted] 21 points22 points ago

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I had this as my desktop background recently.

[–]anonyc555 34 points35 points ago

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Then what happened?

[–]shitterplug 49 points50 points ago

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Then, he didn't.

[–]ShallowBasketcase 20 points21 points ago

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The End

[–]UnitedStatesGov 6 points7 points ago

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THE HORROR!!!!

[–]henkrogue 2 points3 points ago

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what a cliffhanger! I need to know what he switch to!

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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[–]theropod[S] 7 points8 points ago

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Weird... I uploaded the chameleon post as well!

[–]celsius232 1 point2 points ago

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[–]zlavan 0 points1 point ago

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he noticed the bill looks like a baby alligator trying to climb out of its face

[–]bekeleven -1 points0 points ago

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The duck died.

[–]anonyc555 1 point2 points ago

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Wrong Answer

[–]JKSacha 1 point2 points ago

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This picture was also my background, until I changed it to the picture of baby chameleons.

[–]ungr8ful_biscuit 1 point2 points ago

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Haha. I did the exact same thing.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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... You are my twin. O_O

[–]JKSacha 1 point2 points ago

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that is freeky deeky.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Especially deeky.

[–]etree 78 points79 points ago

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I got -17 karma for posting this picture.

[–]Dannyh1234 10 points11 points ago

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Story of my life.

[–]theropod[S] 24 points25 points ago

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Did you call it "Cute Duckling"? :-P

[–]timescrucial 12 points13 points ago

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should've called it "Expired Balut"

[–]keryk 0 points1 point ago

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i really should have learned my lesson about clicking every link i see on reddit by now. sigh

[–]etree 10 points11 points ago

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Lol yes. At the time I didn't know it was a repost because it had almost no imgur views. But that's because people were linking to the lie and not the imgur page.

[–]nephros 0 points1 point ago

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I would have titled it "The Eyes of Pure Evil".

[–]JangSaverem 1 point2 points ago*

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Thats because its been on reddit more times than I have seen it on every other site I venture to.

Or to be more exact And thats only most recently....hell it was here 6 days ago

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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I was gonna say "Front page... every time." Not always the case I guess. I do love the picture every time though.

[–]StaticSabre 5 points6 points ago

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I have birds, and it's always cool to see how water bounces off of their feathers.

[–]EnorMoose 3 points4 points ago

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Look at the talons on that vicious monster!

[–]blackbellamy 3 points4 points ago

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Don't kid yourself! If that duckling ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!

[–]keyslip 5 points6 points ago

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Anybody else see the dog mask? :D

[–]rahl404 2 points3 points ago

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Rubber ducky

[–]SourCreamWater 2 points3 points ago

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I really, really want a pet duck. I love ducks. I know I'm odd, but I want a pet duck.

[–]FiredFox 9 points10 points ago

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It floats because it's made of wood, and therefore...

[–]Flying_Teapot 8 points9 points ago

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It's pining for the fjords!

[–]Scratchlax 3 points4 points ago

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It's a witch?

[–]theropod[S] 0 points1 point ago

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Upboat for the Python comment!

[–]arae 2 points3 points ago

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It'd be nice if you could keep a baby duck this size forever, and possibly name him Duke Wellington.

[–]ObligatoryPokemonRef 2 points3 points ago

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Wrong. Psyduck is a water/psychic type. It's water type confers some resistance to water techniques but doesn't make it immune to them.

[–]shawnpeps 1 point2 points ago

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He looks so... happy!

[–]donkeydiddler 1 point2 points ago

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This is FUCKING ADORABLE.

[–]StickyToffee 1 point2 points ago

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Aww, look at the ducky!

[–]upvoteforyouhun 1 point2 points ago

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I saw this posted once with the quote, "OMG I'm swimming!!" as the title.
Upvoted for reminding me of cuteness.

[–]ThraShErDDoS 1 point2 points ago

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This is water-resistant. Pretty sure that lil' guy wouldn't do so well if you held him fully underwater...

[–]milpool90 1 point2 points ago

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The duck is so HAPPY! Love it.

[–]adamfutur 1 point2 points ago

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"surface tension"

[–]Mycatsleftfoot 1 point2 points ago

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Any scientician care to learn me how that happens? Is there something in the feathers? Or is it magic?

[–]BitRex 1 point2 points ago

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Their feathers are also specially structured.

[–]Mycatsleftfoot 0 points1 point ago

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I learned today...yay!

[–]theropod[S] 0 points1 point ago

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They have preen glands which produce a kind of wax. When you see a duck preening, it's actually spreading this wax over it's feathers to make them water-resistant.

[–]TheBassThatAteMiami 1 point2 points ago

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Those eyes. It is definitely a demon.

[–]roamingandy 1 point2 points ago

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thus should have been posted in r/frugal

(as tight as a ducks butt)

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]shakajumbo 1 point2 points ago

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Dawwwww

[–]jipijipijipi 1 point2 points ago

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TIL ducklings' beaks look like crocodiles...

[–]BitRex 1 point2 points ago

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FYI, that blob on his bill is the "egg tooth" he used to break out of the shell. It falls off in a few days.

[–]bearwithmeandmyself 1 point2 points ago

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Tiny talons of death.

[–]kaidigger 1 point2 points ago

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Awesome re post

That Duck is fucking adorable :D

Thanks

[–]saratoby 1 point2 points ago

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New desktop background!

[–]Scrooge_McDuck90 1 point2 points ago

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Looks like it's saying "hey"

[–]Sariel007 1 point2 points ago*

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Good thing he spent the extra $1000 at the dealership for the undercoating.

[–]platypusmusic 1 point2 points ago

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Duck, why not duck?

[–]ninjashorty 1 point2 points ago*

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Creatures that look like this make me think that humans are the ugly ones on this earth.

[–]StormKid 1 point2 points ago

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Oh yeah , now we're talking!

[–]Cioudcuckoo 1 point2 points ago

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Nawww

[–]Deilicious 1 point2 points ago

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Ducks all like: "Don't feel bad guys not every duck can look this good :D"

[–]felix33 1 point2 points ago

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Quack quack, bitches!

[–]stoneage7 1 point2 points ago

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..but not bulletproof.

[–]Marie_Chen 1 point2 points ago

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Oh god.. deadly cuteness.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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This should win an award for most reposted image on the internet.

[–]Saboran 1 point2 points ago

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[–]hackysack 0 points1 point ago

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Which advice animal is that?

[–]Saboran 2 points3 points ago

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Condescending fox

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago*

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I think this was last entitled, 'swimming!' or something to that effect. It made it to the front page in the summer.

Edit: yup http://i.imgur.com/4xPWp.jpg

Edit 2: It's cool, I really wasn't bitching

[–]theropod[S] -3 points-2 points ago

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I didn't know.

[–]stalecache 0 points1 point ago

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liar!

[–]theropod[S] 2 points3 points ago*

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While this pic definitely has an "aww" factor, I submitted it because I think the way the feathers repel the water is amazing!

Edit - spelling.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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Same! I had this book when I was younger called "Ducks Don't Get Wet". And nobody would believe me when I told them that ducks don't get wet.

[–]Ginnigan 5 points6 points ago

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I had that book, too! - Children's literature fist-bump -

[–]stalecache 2 points3 points ago

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The question is... can it repel a musky? http://i.imgur.com/22uMB.jpg

[–]Ruprit 1 point2 points ago

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Rapists start off so cute.

[–]anonyc555 0 points1 point ago

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lol wat

[–]ducksquasher 1 point2 points ago

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i wanna fucking squash this duck.

[–]staplesgowhere 1 point2 points ago

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This is sewious!

[–]Drazi421 1 point2 points ago

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[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]BlazmoIntoWowee 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, that's now my wallpaper. GENIUS.

[–]DudeWithCreepyLaugh 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like a pendant to me

[–]locopyro13 0 points1 point ago

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More Hydrophobic, less waterproof.

[–]boutsofbrilliance 0 points1 point ago

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you got a little schmutz. right there, on your mouth.

[–]Pella86 0 points1 point ago

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that's why if one throw soap in the water the Ducks sinks...

[–]dasfeesh 0 points1 point ago

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Happy Duck is Happy

[–]Unidan 0 points1 point ago

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I lived in the rainforest for a while.

While I was there, I bought two ducks for fifty cents each to eventually eat. They were cute. Then they grew up and I was like, 'Hey, lets eat these ducks.'

No one let me eat those ducks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Great picture.

[–]MakeYouMad 0 points1 point ago

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the phone. the phone is ringing.

there's an animal in trouble

[–]dbear 0 points1 point ago

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I posted this a month ago and got 1 upvote...TT http://www.reddit.com/r/Pictures/comments/ljjse/ducky/

[–]lovebludgeon 0 points1 point ago

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[–]dsn0wman 0 points1 point ago

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Haters gonna hate!

[–]sometiki 0 points1 point ago

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Jealous.

Of the waterproof camera.

[–]Thelonesomemoo 0 points1 point ago

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it would take an age for that hair to dry.

[–]cloakdood 0 points1 point ago

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:D

[–]jp0ll 0 points1 point ago

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Just looks so...happy

[–]chemkitten 0 points1 point ago

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how?

[–]ilovepuppies 0 points1 point ago

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What's that on his bill? Mold?

[–]damiancorbeil 0 points1 point ago

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This is why I tolerate duck crossing signs. I sat in my car watching ducks cross the street with a sparkle in my eye and saying "DUCKIES" over and over as they crossed. No honking, no attempt to go around. Just so I could see that last little duck.

[–]Slick37c 0 points1 point ago

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Can I tuss it?

[–]Shermanpk 0 points1 point ago

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I think you mean water resistant. try putting that baby duck under 30 ft of water and see how it goes :D

[–]lasvegasteddy 0 points1 point ago

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spray him wit lemon juice and watch him sink real quick..;)

[–]kyle1320 0 points1 point ago

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Surface Tension

FTFY

[–]Ikehitstina 0 points1 point ago

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and he knows it too. that little fucker

[–]Injustpotato 0 points1 point ago

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Sure isn't heart-proof.

D'awww!

[–]Sporkographist 0 points1 point ago

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mmm alligator snack

[–]hoppychris 0 points1 point ago

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Duck claws!! everybody run! They look sharp!

[–]bluecheese12 0 points1 point ago

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Repost

[–]anonyc555 0 points1 point ago

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that is CUTE AS FUCK

[–]jezebelious 0 points1 point ago

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Squeeee!

[–]LetsYouKnowIfRepost 0 points1 point ago

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Haven't seen this 5 times on here. Oh wait, yes I have!

[–]jimitonic -1 points0 points ago

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Aflac. AFLAC!