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915
916

I told him santa wasn't real (i.imgur.com)

submitted ago by quiet_desperado

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all 132 comments
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[–]ronbreddit 49 points50 points ago

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He gave you the "Okay" face. This is awesome, and makes me smile.

[–]i_shirt_u_not 56 points57 points ago

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I enhanced the details and this showed up!

[–]saad1212 3 points4 points ago

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YEEAAAAH!

[–]ronbreddit 1 point2 points ago

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I appreciate this!

[–]bldl -1 points0 points ago

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My dog does the best okay face, but I can never get it on camera.

[–]Porkchawp 17 points18 points ago

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cool story

[–]OhEmGeee 10 points11 points ago

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Why would this make you smile?! D:

[–]ronbreddit 9 points10 points ago

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because I find it funny, but not funny enough to laugh. And seeing beings other than humans showing emotion makes me smile.

[–]archkyle 7 points8 points ago

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abed?

[–]OhEmGeee 0 points1 point ago

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I see what you mean now, I just thought you love animals being miserable.

[–]erickety 0 points1 point ago

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Upvote in hopes it inspires someone with shop skills to make a dog version of the "Okay" face.

[–]ebaked 18 points19 points ago

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WHAT?! Thanks for the spoiler warning, jerk...

[–][deleted] ago*

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[deleted]

[–]cr101 0 points1 point ago

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Lies! This wasn't edited!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]LilDarlin 0 points1 point ago

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Oh my gracious I never knew about the edit star :O Now I'm going to have to tell everyone why I edit things, because I know I can't pretend like I didn't say anything stupid.

[–]DocMalcontent 29 points30 points ago

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You big meany. You give that poor guy a hug.

[–]quiet_desperado[S] 22 points23 points ago

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A hug and a treat. If only all of life's problems could be solved so easily.

[–]Ultramerican 5 points6 points ago

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I just got a Bullmastiff Saturday, 6 weeks old. Anything random I should know about or any good anecdotes? I know a buttload about the breed, have 3 Bullmastiff books on training, information, etc, and talked with the breeder before taking him to make sure I had all foreseeable questions answered.

BUT... I want to know anything that's "not in the manual" - any anecdotes?

[–]Soosh 15 points16 points ago

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They're the best dogs ever, basically furniture that eats and poops. My family has had 2 of them, and they're just the bee's knees.

[–]cdemps62 8 points9 points ago

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Well, hot dog! Jeepers, that's swell!

[–]Soosh 8 points9 points ago

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Aw fiddlesticks, are you being facetious? Jeeze louise!

[–]evinf 6 points7 points ago

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Golly gee willikers I feel like this conversation has taken a dramatic turn for the olden days.

[–]Soosh 7 points8 points ago

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Zounds! I do believe you're right!

[–]natophonic 5 points6 points ago

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Don't sweat it, kid! Everyone can see you've got moxie!

[–]aamiic 4 points5 points ago

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Also have 2 here, snoring away behind me.

[–]Ultramerican 0 points1 point ago

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What colors? Any anecdotes? :)

[–]Ultramerican 2 points3 points ago

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Oh my gosh I can't wait for him to be enormous, but at the same time I know his time being under ten pounds is SO short. We'll appreciate every second of his youth.

One question (sorry about jumping you with questions when you just wanted to post a cute picture of your dog): Did you have to tape any of the ears? If so, is it pretty simple? I've watched some youtube videos of taping Bullmastiff ears, but I'd like the average owner's opinion.

[–]bmbp 3 points4 points ago

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I grew up with bullmastiffs (had three over the course of 18 years) and we taped all of their ears.

You are in for a world of joy with your puppy. WE WANT PICTURES!!!

I should note that Soosh described them as furniture that eats and poops, at least one of them (our last) was more like a wandering garbage disposal. Nothing was safe. Socks were her favorite food, followed closely by paper towels, pieces of wall, and the bottles of "Bitter Apple" that we hoped would dissuade her from eating the walls. Imagine my surprise coming home from school one day to see a happy Bullmastiff, lounging around, and a bottle of what is allegedly designed to "stop pets from biting and chewing fur, wounds, and bandages" entirely eaten on the floor, with her staring up at me like "what? I ated it, it was a bit sour but overall, I give it a six. Got any socks?"

Wandering garbage disposal. But oh my god the sweetest dogs ever.

[–]Ultramerican 0 points1 point ago*

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Here he is while awake. We have some bitter spray from setting boundaries for our first dog, a Frenchie - although it doesn't sound like it would be a huge deterrent if we don't use it early. edit: That's the French Bulldog behind him. That's how little he is!

My wife had a boxer, her first dog, eat some pills a doctor had prescribed her for a lacrosse pain or something. She didn't know what the pills were (turns out they were totally harmless and there were only two in the bottle) and freaked out. She looked up how to get a dog to throw up what it's already eaten, and saw that forcing them to drink hydrogen peroxide works. She was ready with a turkey baster and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide... but when she put a bit in the dog's bowl to see if she's sip a bit and maybe throw up easily, the dog drank it happily. She then poured the rest into her bowl. The boxer drank it all, lapping it up, then just smiled at her. Stomach like cast-iron. That dog also ate an entire chicken, twine and all, off the counter when they left the room for only a few minutes. Dogs.

[–]MotherFuckingCupcake 0 points1 point ago

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My friend's shih-tzu ate nearly an entire ham once. I have no idea how, and he was totally fine. Wasn't even lethargic.

[–]bmbp 0 points1 point ago

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Oh wow. SO CUTE.

[–]Soosh 1 point2 points ago

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Nope, we left 'em floppy on both, so I'm not real familiar with that :<

[–]bawksbawks 3 points4 points ago

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Make sure to SOCIALIZE the dog well with both sexes. I thought I did this but mine grew aggressive toward males of any species. But very protective over me and children. This summer while I was away at college my mastiff got into a fight with another dog and killed it. He was taken away before I got home so I have no idea what happened to him. The dad of the dog had aggression problems too though

[–]BatmanInTheHood 0 points1 point ago

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I adopted a male bull mastiff that is terrified of all dogs. It sucks. I've spent several hundred dollars trying to fix his behavior, but nothing seems to work. I adopted him at 2 years old and he just turned 3. I keep him on a tight leash because I fear if another dog runs up to him he will kill it. I don't plan on getting another dog, and I was aware of his problems upon adoption, but how can you say no to that face?

[–]Ultramerican 1 point2 points ago

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Oh man, I'm sorry about that - at least you have a loyal friend inside your home, though! We're going to maximize his socialization through his entire puppyhood and we've done leash/heel training with a Frenchie, so I know how to train a stubborn puppy to respect the pack order. I hope it translates to a Bullmastiff.

Retraining a dog with bad habits is much harder than starting off with a blank slate, I don't envy you! Have you tried any of Cesar Millan's books or DVDs? They're (surprisingly) great.

[–]BatmanInTheHood 0 points1 point ago

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Basically I just drag him around the neighborhood in his harness for walks. He knows where the dogs are and he starts shaking and his fur raises etc... Positive enforcement with treats has worked okay, but when he gets in to terrified mode there is nothing that will stop him. I've read feisty fido and I hope to get him socialized at a distance with some of my friends dogs in the future. He's a good boy all in all.

[–]Ultramerican 0 points1 point ago

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Thanks - yeah, we're taking him everywhere to meet all sorts of people and pets from the get-go, structuring his interactions so he knows he doesn't need to play leader and protect us. That's the plan, anyway ;)

[–]BatmanInTheHood 0 points1 point ago

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Get some bone marrow bones and freeze them. They will clean their teeth and is a healthy snack. Also, soccer balls.

[–]Ultramerican 1 point2 points ago

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We use "mammoth bones" for our Frenchie and so far the Bullie is enjoying chewing on them already. Is that kind of what you're talking about, or is a marrow bone different than a full femur bone?

And wouldn't they immediately bite and destroy soccer balls? Do they actually play with them?

[–]BatmanInTheHood 0 points1 point ago

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The bone marrow bones are cut in sections like soup bones. The soccer ball I have to pump up every other day so he can't grip it.

[–]juicyfuckinwang 23 points24 points ago

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in the arms of an angel......

[–]lakesObacon 10 points11 points ago

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fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu

[–]BatmanInTheHood 1 point2 points ago

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The new animated commercials are worse. Abandoned and lost.....

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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What? Do I dare ask for a link?

[–]BatmanInTheHood 1 point2 points ago

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I tried to find a link and failed. The adds are on USA network TV all the time. Almost every commercial break.

[–]Hennessey10 16 points17 points ago

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Santa isn't real?!?

[–]woopthat 7 points8 points ago

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I'd like to hijack this comment to educate erryone on a common grammar mistake.

In the OP title it says "I told him Santa wasn't real" when it should read "I told him Santa isn't real."

Santa is still not real. "Wasn't real" implies that he used to be not real, but now is.

[–]daesoph 2 points3 points ago

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I thought that Saint Nicholas was a real person.

[–]thebackhand 1 point2 points ago

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In general, if the action happened in the past but the fact is still true, you use the present tense.

On a related note, if the fact is something you are trying to verify, you use the past indicative (as opposed to past subjunctive). For example:

'I found out last year that he is a lawyer'. ('not 'was')

'I asked him last year if he was a laywer' (not 'were')

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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He's a F'ING LIAR HENNESSEY10! What, do my gifts just magically appear under my Christmas tree? Who else would put them under there?

[–]droog62 6 points7 points ago

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I miss my Bullmastiff.

[–]funkbitch 1 point2 points ago

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Me too.. Mine looked just like this one. Same color and just as big and floppy.

[–]xbenny78x 5 points6 points ago

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No Santa? Suck on blanket

[–]elessarjd 2 points3 points ago

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I'm glad someone else out there recognized what this guy was doing. I too have a blanket sucking dog and noticed immediately. Still though, he looks pretty bummed.

[–]Soosh 2 points3 points ago

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My Bullmastiff used to have a teeny tiny puppy stuffed animal that he'd carry around and suck on, it was the cutest thing EVER.

[–]orksnork 1 point2 points ago

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Oops, I asked a question about this behavior elsewhere in the thread. Thanks for the link.

edit:\ I'll also say this.

Neither dog ever did this. We got this pillow pet toys for them and dog #1 started doing it. After about 2-3 months, dog #2 picked up on it.

[–]abracapocus 0 points1 point ago

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my dog moved from her woobie, that eventually got so ratty i had to throw it away, to stuffed animals. she's particularly fond of long thin ones like sharks, dolphins, etc.

[–]maddyzeemak 3 points4 points ago

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You Monster!

[–]Points_To_You 4 points5 points ago

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Fuck. How bout some spoiler tags, Asshole.

[–]spacehombre 2 points3 points ago

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Has an uncanny resemblance to Stimpy from Ren and Stimpy

[–]NakedOnTheCouch 0 points1 point ago

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I came to say. Even though Stimpy is cat, you said. Amen.

[–]KarmaTang 0 points1 point ago

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I don't curr

[–]lil2faded 1 point2 points ago

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aw bull mastiff? such a big mutha fuckin pile of cute

[–]Octopudding 1 point2 points ago

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You monster! :c Poor baby.

[–]buffobass 1 point2 points ago

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You know, ever since I unsubscribed from /r/awww there has been a part of me however small that has missed all the abandoned cats, oddly positioned dogs, and babies. You have appealed to that small portion of me and for that, you get an upvote.

[–]WarPhalange 1 point2 points ago

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Feels bad, man.

[–]updog84 1 point2 points ago

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INSTANT KARMA!!!

[–]PoshNoob 1 point2 points ago

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Why would you lie to him?

[–]he_didnt_mean 1 point2 points ago

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that's the dog from Get Fuzzy

[–]Indeedee 1 point2 points ago

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How could you LIE to him, SANTA JUST DID A AMA ON REDDIT, YOU MONSTER

[–]wordybird 1 point2 points ago

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HOW DARE YOU! Now you have to get him many many doggie treats for the holidays. To make up for it. Post pictures when you do. :D

[–]Ebay09 1 point2 points ago

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Man, that's ruff.

[–]shewhoknows 0 points1 point ago

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Mean. You had better buy him a huge bone

[–]sweetmitchell 0 points1 point ago

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Your dog is a pillow blanket biter. Cute pic!!

[–]scarpmclovin 0 points1 point ago

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No Santa? My life is ruined thanks a lot :(

[–]littleone5 0 points1 point ago

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HOW DARE YOU!! He's just a baby

[–]magictoenail 0 points1 point ago

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My dog used to nurse like that... right up until she died. Damn it.

[–]sun_aks 0 points1 point ago

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why would you do something evil like this

[–]HeresToTheCrazyOnes 0 points1 point ago

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My dogs look forward to Santa Paws coming ;)

[–]Vinsky 0 points1 point ago

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He does the exact same thing as my Beagle! Sucks all the fleece blankets i've got him. Also keeps pressing the planket with both of his paws.

[–]superanth 0 points1 point ago

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NOM NOM NOM

[–]badtarzan 0 points1 point ago

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Now tell him he'll still get presents.

[–]Trecx 0 points1 point ago

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Ha ha, so scarey huh!

[–]PalmerKid 0 points1 point ago

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Wait till you tell him that Lassie and Rin Tin Tin are dead.

[–]blanketburrito 0 points1 point ago

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Did he watch FoxNews?

[–]RogerDeanVenture 0 points1 point ago

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Then who the heck leaves the presents under the tree?!?

[–]RyuDrinksTheDew 0 points1 point ago

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D'AWWWWWW

[–]butterisbetter 0 points1 point ago

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You bastard.

[–]madzanta 0 points1 point ago

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This is how I feel after the latest Youtube changes.

[–]bryvood 0 points1 point ago

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Relavent

[–]BScatterplot 0 points1 point ago

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TIL... :(

[–]natophonic 0 points1 point ago

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Same expression my daughter had when we told her that, no, we wouldn't be getting a puppy for Christmas.

[–]ubergeek404 0 points1 point ago

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Why did you lie to your dog?

[–]adeonline 0 points1 point ago

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Why would a dog believe in Santa?

[–]brintnall12 0 points1 point ago

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Wait.. what. Santa's not real..?

[–]ets_nsm 0 points1 point ago

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YOU SICK BASTARD!

ಥ_ಥ Must not cry looking at pic.

God damn you Hoverzoom!

[–]Drink_Clorox_and_Die 0 points1 point ago

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monster

[–]gizadog 0 points1 point ago

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Just tell him Elf's are real

[–]Lambpanties 0 points1 point ago

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"Neither are my orgasms" he replied whilst erotically soaking his gums into the blanket.

[–]Darkblitz9 0 points1 point ago

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Satan isn't real!? How can thi- OH... OH SANTA!

Oh, okay. Phew! That was close.

Hail Satan!

[–]Umpalumpa47 0 points1 point ago

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That's going to be the hardest thing to tell me kids...if I have kids.

[–]CheezeburgerTroll 0 points1 point ago

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What? Santa isn't real?

[–]Majesticwolf 0 points1 point ago

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"life is meaningless now"

[–]jmdolce 0 points1 point ago

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Why the hell would you do that to him?!

[–]jaywillythe1st 0 points1 point ago

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you monster, parents like you make me sick.

[–]YOUR-UNCLE 0 points1 point ago

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Stop filling his head with lies.

[–]grammaticdrownedhog 0 points1 point ago

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Father Of The Year.

[–]WinterInJapan 0 points1 point ago

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Wait, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

[–]jjthedragon 0 points1 point ago

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god, who picked your decorating choices. Tacky floral patterns everywhere! Reminds me of my grandmothers house and a cracker barrel.

[–]IoWn3rU 0 points1 point ago

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SANTA'S NOT REAL...?!

[–]dorkrock2 0 points1 point ago

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I know Santa is just the Ice King, Finn. You're bumming me out, man.

[–]Electric_Banana 0 points1 point ago

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Fake

[–]1stXer 0 points1 point ago

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One of my earliest Christmas childhood memories was my older sister explaining to me who Santa Claus was. "It's a man who comes down the chimney with gifts you wanted and rides around in a sled pulled by Deer". I got mad and called her stupid.

[–]carpeDeezNuts 0 points1 point ago

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Bitch, you been naughty chewing up those sneakers even if he were real.

[–]CaptainTurtle 0 points1 point ago

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:C

[–]GamerAsh 0 points1 point ago

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Oh man, I fucking love boxer dogs.

[–]michaaelwhite 0 points1 point ago

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santa is fucking real, i am santa!!!

SANTY CLAUSE!!!

[–]Darknemesis 0 points1 point ago

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someone needs to make a sad dog meme ASAP

[–]hombre_lobo 0 points1 point ago

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that dog is in pain, physical pain.

[–]the-vindicator 0 points1 point ago

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I am sorry but you are mistaken Santa Clause is indeed real

[–]AJfromLA 0 points1 point ago

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This pic makes me miss my Bullmastiff :(

[–]fuckboi21 0 points1 point ago

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this is what jake the dog would look like irl... just saying

[–]Gyvon 0 points1 point ago

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You heartless bastard! I'm calling the SPCA on your ass.

[–]nerdmeister 0 points1 point ago

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why would you tell him that?! you're a bad person and you should feel bad!

[–]gotohell666 0 points1 point ago

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You monster

[–]Studog 0 points1 point ago

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WHAT???? HE ISNT REAL????

[–]Groperofeuropa 0 points1 point ago

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Its cruel to lie to a dog like that.

[–]DivinePotatoe 0 points1 point ago

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Okay...

[–]Drastnikov 0 points1 point ago*

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Santa isn't real? :(

[–]Slash3040 0 points1 point ago

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What do you mean 'isn't real'?

[–]WreckerCrew -1 points0 points ago

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/r/pets is over this way --------->

[–][deleted] -3 points-2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

He's gonna chew your throat out in your sleep and leave it by the chimney with some milk for Santa, just to spite you.

[–]HaikuDatUsername 7 points8 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Do you see the "z"?

I used that to be trendy,

No one notices.

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