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Submit your Halloween pumpkin pics to /r/horror's carving competition!

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top 200 commentsshow 500

[–][deleted] 931 points932 points ago

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Her face says she knew all along. Fo' sho.

[–]Lurk_Long_Time 326 points327 points ago

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Foreshore.

[–]frog-on-a-stick 217 points218 points ago

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5shore

[–]Magical_Spacial_Dust 92 points93 points ago

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I'm going to end you.

[–]Tophat_Gentleman 280 points281 points ago

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LIK DIS IF U CRI EVRYTIM

[–]ShamelessKarmaWhore 75 points76 points ago

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FUCK YOU TOPHATGENTLEMAN! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE BETTER THAN THIS ಠ_ಠ

[–]gentleman_brown 67 points68 points ago

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When ShamelessKarmaWhore calls you out for volunteering to be pivot man in the Reddit circle jerk, you need to log off for a while.

[–]Megajim 42 points43 points ago

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What is a "log off"?

[–]rellefg8 11 points12 points ago

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It means you can finally experience the outside world...

[–]DashRunner92 2 points3 points ago

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B-but.. it smells out there...

[–]Jayx 4 points5 points ago

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What is "outside world" some type of new RPG?

[–]c0okieninja 67 points68 points ago

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Dat 1 moar den 4shore.

[–]lemonsmash 37 points38 points ago

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Four score and 7 years ago...

[–]Revelatus 6 points7 points ago

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...our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Lol, he said "conceived"

giggles in a corner alone

[–]Realmonster 382 points383 points ago

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she looks like she knew

[–]IMasturbateToMyself 102 points103 points ago

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Well no bjs for OP tonight.

[–]Notmyrealname 230 points231 points ago

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Not for free, anyway.

[–]KnightBlue 37 points38 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–]wubwub 16 points17 points ago

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they never are...

[–]fuzzb0y 6 points7 points ago

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Foreshore.

[–]Verzingetorix 46 points47 points ago

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Who need BJs when you get over 3k Karma.

Reddit logic.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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is flawed

[–]biteableniles 7 points8 points ago

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is flawless

ftfy

[–]krizutch 2 points3 points ago

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If she didn't know this guy has the dumbest girlfriend to ever girlfriend.

[–]Darkbro 1650 points1651 points ago

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Maybe not a hoe foreshore, but does look like a total beach.

[–]ry4nmills 862 points863 points ago

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I sea what you did there!

[–]yrgrlfriday 835 points836 points ago

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Now, buoys. Be nice.

[–]Perk_i 674 points675 points ago

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I guess this will have to tide me over until the next pun thread.

[–]ArchSchnitz 696 points697 points ago

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Thankfully, they come in waves.

[–]kenjunior 599 points600 points ago

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Wake me when this washes over.

[–][deleted] 585 points586 points ago

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I'll be surfing the internet while I wait.

[–]toinfinitiandbeyond 541 points542 points ago

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Don't be shellfish there is still more fun to be had here.

[–]Disconsolate 473 points474 points ago

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Now now, let's not coral.

[–]ifpiewasgood 416 points417 points ago

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I don't want anyone to harbor bad feelings towards each other.

[–]dush64 161 points162 points ago

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C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Coastline looks fantastic.

[–]dj_bizarro 186 points187 points ago

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I've halibut enough of these puns.

[–]Jellicious 85 points86 points ago*

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Oh my cod! So many puns!

[–]ArchSchnitz 79 points80 points ago

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I agree. We should fjord ahead together.

[–]n00bman293 31 points32 points ago

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It's okay, i'm a Pacificst

[–]Pharmakoza 33 points34 points ago

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Some people flipper ship at the slightest provocation.

[–]FormerContra 81 points82 points ago

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I don't care! I can't sand all these puns!

[–]Rigochu 72 points73 points ago

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Yeah these pun threads usually keep me at bay.

[–]Sotsie 28 points29 points ago

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The puns are still flooding in.

[–]DinoSawyer_RAWR 45 points46 points ago

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I'll take this opportunity to point out that every single pun thread ever becomes self aware after only 4 posts. Sorry if I seem to be crabby, but you need to stop harbouring this trend.

[–]horseyhorseyhorsey 23 points24 points ago

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i bet you're just jealous becuase you're just in a planktonic relationship with your girl

/runs

[–]jwdrummer21 38 points39 points ago

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I am ready for this thread to sink to the bottom of the page.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]from_the_sea 28 points29 points ago

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This thread is currently pretty good. Hope it doesn't dry up.

[–]CornBallerBurn 34 points35 points ago

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I bet shoal understand why you took this when she seas it.

[–]GretzkyR99 50 points51 points ago

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Frankly, I can't get enough of pun threads. Sailboats.

[–][deleted] 38 points39 points ago

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Make another bad one like that and I'll put the fear of Cod into you.

[–]Zuol 21 points22 points ago

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Lmbo. (Laugh my bass off)

[–]shelldog 38 points39 points ago

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I'll be brushing up on current events.

[–]ArchSchnitz 64 points65 points ago

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Yeah, schooner or later we've gotta give this up.

[–]Tortured_Sole 16 points17 points ago

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I'm afraid knot, only aft-er all the puns are done can we end to this.

[–]0ompaloompa 17 points18 points ago

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I know these puns are all on porpoise, but seriously guys....whale done.

[–]flippityfloppityfloo 16 points17 points ago

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Water we doing here then? Let's go find another one!

[–]sir_drink_alot 8 points9 points ago

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I myself am over it, I'm going home to play Cod.

[–]giraffepussy 56 points57 points ago

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dolphinitely

[–]hnk_venture 26 points27 points ago

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That picture may turn the tide on his relationship

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]melatone 60 points61 points ago

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Don't be so litoral.

[–]athaeryn 68 points69 points ago

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YEAH SHE'S MOIST DEFINITELY A SLUT!!!

AM I DOING THIS RIGHT???

[–]daveo999 33 points34 points ago

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This joke is shore getting old.

[–]Inaudible_Whale 49 points50 points ago

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Yep, she apiers to be a total prostitute.

[–]Bergler94 68 points69 points ago

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She probably has crabs.

[–]redditor3000 299 points300 points ago

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She looks like she's already pissed off at you.

[–]bagofdog 150 points151 points ago

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Probably ex-girlfriend by now.

[–]thebillmac3 98 points99 points ago

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DM;GK

[–]homergonerson 201 points202 points ago

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Doesn't matter; groin kick?

[–]MrOrsom 29 points30 points ago

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No, according to Google it's "Dan Molyneux Goalkeeping".

[–]thebillmac3 10 points11 points ago

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Well then google is a bitch.

[–]toadwaker 128 points129 points ago

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got karma

[–]homergonerson 21 points22 points ago

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Ah, makes sense. Not sure how I missed that.

[–]Komarii 93 points94 points ago

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I thought it was Doesn't matter; girlfriend killed

[–]NobodyFsWithTheJesus 11 points12 points ago

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Don't Matter; Girl Killed

She got crabs, lots of crabs.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]redditor9000 4 points5 points ago

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hi redditor3000, redditor9000 here. I just wanted to say hey! I wish i could be your secret santa. MY person last logged in 23 days ago. I fear she has died.

[–]redditor3000 2 points3 points ago

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I'm down. How do I set this up?

[–]Pffff 56 points57 points ago

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Judging by the expression on her face, I'd say she was aware of what you were doing there.

[–]the_an0n 13 points14 points ago

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Judging by the expression on her face, I'd say the OP doesn't even know the girl and she is a stranger who was posing for someone else's photo...maybe??

[–]Tingi 36 points37 points ago

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I'm from Plymouth! Oh wait...that's not a good thing...

[–]emathebrave 10 points11 points ago

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It must be only me who thinks Devon is awesome and Plymouth is great. But that may be because I come from a landlocked village in the middle of nowhere.

[–]MandMandMvac 13 points14 points ago

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Upvoted for knowing that Plymouth/Devon blows.

Edit: This sounds a lot meaner than intended.

[–]tricky898 18 points19 points ago

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Devon isn't bad - but Plymouth's a real shit hole.

[–]Moniters 14 points15 points ago

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Exeter is where it's at in Devon

[–]Sauropodlet 2 points3 points ago

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Exeter's lovely, but no one likes Devon :P Kernow bys vyken!

Actually, sod that, no one who lives in Cornwall likes it either...

[–]dazzled1 6 points7 points ago

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Janner much?

[–]regomodo 4 points5 points ago

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Its nice being from Plymouth, everywhere else seems less scummy and more interesting

[–]Steakers 5 points6 points ago

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Upvotes for Janner redditors all round!

[–]quigabyte 34 points35 points ago

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Just another Plymouth Hoe.

[–]jorsiem 14 points15 points ago

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She is not amused by the scenery or the sign.

[–]Offensive_Brute 32 points33 points ago

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or her jackass BF.

[–]DerpChang 15 points16 points ago

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Looks like you took a picture of somebody else's girlfriend.

[–]momsarev 33 points34 points ago

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no, she didn't.

[–]frontbummer 148 points149 points ago

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Redditors in Plymouth?! Upvote!

[–]czechreck 148 points149 points ago

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I got drunk in Plymouth once.

When I woke up, I was in Manchester with a job and a girlfriend, renting a small flat 5 minutes from work.

Needles to say, it was the blackout of all blackouts.

[–]artifex0 84 points85 points ago

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Exactly the same thing happened to me, except without the needles.

[–]brad0022 7 points8 points ago

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You should write an inspirational book or at least a poster if you're busy

[–]isaac-newton 7 points8 points ago

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I've never heard of talking needles before.

[–]Ventura 15 points16 points ago

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Represent!

[–]zarathustra2100 7 points8 points ago

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PL3 In the 'hizzay'

[–]Ventura 7 points8 points ago

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You're a Student, North Hill baby!

[–]CleverPrimate 22 points23 points ago

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Any love for Cornwall? :)

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Sappharos 4 points5 points ago

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I would have upvoted this a year ago when I lived there. Now I'm 5 minutes walk from the Hoe. :p

[–]CleverPrimate 4 points5 points ago

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Arrr, yoom be the other side of the Tamar, if I venture over the bridge I get a nosebleed and have to get back to Kernow dreckly

[–]Sappharos 3 points4 points ago

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arrr, praaper jaab.

[–]TitaniumShovel 15 points16 points ago

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Thought you meant this Plymouth. Damn, my state stole everything from England...

[–]IdTugYourBoat 31 points32 points ago

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Damn, my country stole everything from England...

FTFY

[–]TitaniumShovel 9 points10 points ago

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I think it's mostly the Eastern side that has a heavy English influence. The middle is more French and the West is more Spanish.

[–]lizzy1344 4 points5 points ago

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We need a Plymouth meet up!

[–]Lithosiz 8 points9 points ago

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PL4 'ere.

[–]Sebulbasaur 12 points13 points ago

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Not sure if England or New England.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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looking for another girl

[–]kingthanwi 4 points5 points ago

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Saw this a few years ago, before i found reddit -__-

[–]AuDBallBag 8 points9 points ago

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Plymouth MA or NH? I love both.

Edit: Aw shit. England?! Nevermind.

[–]freshwest 94 points95 points ago

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She is a sex worker most definitely.

[–]nemoomen 28 points29 points ago

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Prostitute, I assure you.

[–]abledanger 15 points16 points ago

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She's not wearing the yellow safety vest, so probably not.

[–]orangepotion 2 points3 points ago

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Well, that was in Spain, this is Plymouth.

[–]speedofart 56 points57 points ago

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[–]EXPLAINS_USERNAME 116 points117 points ago

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This username can be read as "speed of art" or as "speedo fart".

[–]ButtonFury 21 points22 points ago

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speedo fart sounds better.

[–]heyschmexy 5 points6 points ago

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an astute observation

[–][deleted] 22 points23 points ago

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Throwing the ocean jewel over the side?

[–]TitaniumShovel 3 points4 points ago*

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Ohh shit. This post just got real awkward.

Edit: Nevermind. Comparing the two, this one checks out.

[–]LoudMimeDave 78 points79 points ago

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You know what? I don't have to answer to you, you ain't my bitch. Know what I sayin'? So, shit, man, fuck it!

[–][deleted] 39 points40 points ago

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You should keep your ho on a leash. Hey, bitches be runnin' wild, man.

[–]STRFCKR 46 points47 points ago

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She was a ho, fo sho.

[–]shelldog 37 points38 points ago

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She was hurtin' for a squirtin'.

[–]Schroedingers_gif 19 points20 points ago

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I told you to stop hanging around that pervert!

[–]grubas 8 points9 points ago

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Yes, I know what you are saying. Scribbles on a notepad

[–]ObviouslyNotTrolling 2 points3 points ago

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Look, who the fuck are you to put me on trial, I've never even met you. So why don't you back the shit off, and stop with the inquisition?

[–]moetan 21 points22 points ago

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Reddit, where we publicly mock our girlfriends.

[–]TheUltimateDouche 10 points11 points ago

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WHILE YOU'RE AT WORK, WHEN I PRIVATELY FUCK YOUR GIRLFRIENDS

[–]pjh11 7 points8 points ago

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My attention is drawn to the badge she's wearing. Enhance?

[–]howmanymics[S] 14 points15 points ago

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Spiller records. The oldest record shop in the world in Cardiff.

[–]Nexxxeh 2 points3 points ago

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Upvote for Spillers!

[–]Blazephlozard 7 points8 points ago

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The pink part of that map is going °▽°

[–]daffmeister 6 points7 points ago

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You can't see them, but there are seven submarines in that photo. HM Naval base just round the corner.

Oh, fuck yeah, Plymouth. Get on you janners.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Rantingbeerjello 22 points23 points ago*

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I don't get this. Maybe I'm just too damn old but while I could see taking such a picture of one's SO to have a private laugh over, to post it somewhere that a million people are going to look at just seems mean spirited...especially considering that most of the comments here are pretty mean (as sadly, should be expected on Reddit these days...)

Assuming this actually is OP's girlfriend (always something to be skeptical about here), she probably won't be much longer.

[–]orhanaga 11 points12 points ago

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'Ho Fo Sho' means 'I love you' in my Chinese dialect...

[–]OP-HAS-A-GIRLFRIEND 12 points13 points ago

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HEY EVERYONE!!

[–]shawnvv 5 points6 points ago

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That's not very nice.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]waldeagle 10 points11 points ago

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"She was a hoe. Forshow"

-Michael Scott

[–]mrguy08 28 points29 points ago

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I can't tell if she's cute or not because of that face she's making.

[–]Derporelli 34 points35 points ago

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She's not making a face. ಠ_ಠ

[–]MgenGlder 25 points26 points ago

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chronic bitchface syndrome, foreshore

[–]notmynothername 3 points4 points ago

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[–]littlegraydude 7 points8 points ago

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A first world problem if there ever was one.

[–]songcharts 3 points4 points ago

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And then you find out she's not your ho no mo.

[–]Carlfm 3 points4 points ago

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haha the Plymouth hoe. Amusing students since... well since a long time ago. I'll miss uni there

[–]caernavon 4 points5 points ago

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As what point did you decide you no longer wanted her to want to have sex with you?

[–]NEETisMurder 3 points4 points ago

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She doesn't look like she thought you were taking it because of the scenery.

[–]triv94 3 points4 points ago

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Considering her facial expression, seems she can read you like a book my friend,

[–]Flatrock 5 points6 points ago

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Your girlfriend's super-cute. Well done!

[–]spatz2011 6 points7 points ago

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Treat her with a bit more respect, eh? Sheesh what is it with people who are in relationships crapping all over their partners.

[–]Incoherentrant 8 points9 points ago

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I sense some alterations to actual events. If she thought you were taking it for the scenery why does she clearly display an attempt at making a humorous "hoe fo sho" facial expression?

If she is not making this expression, then why is she looking away from you, her boyfriend, while you take the photo. Wouldn't a boyfriend have a high priority of 'look to my camera lens instead because we have sex'?

How many photos were taken? How many people were taking photos? Were family members present?

I sense a lot of unnecessary lying going on. I think she was well aware of the comical sign, and you two conspired to make this photo exactly what it is. Whether or not you conspired to put it on reddit altering the truth is unlikely although a possibility.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]KSTARRATSK 6 points7 points ago

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Correction you took a picture of your ex-girlfriend!

[–]Gourmay 2 points3 points ago

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You are a very bad man.

[–]brownstoned 2 points3 points ago

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Jokes on you, we hooked up later that day.

[–]groovyreg 2 points3 points ago

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Funny the first time http://i.imgur.com/LMq5M.jpg

[–]theboybuck 2 points3 points ago

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by the look on her face she didn't.

[–]21007 2 points3 points ago

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Next time, get a girlfriend that can read

[–]xdisingenuousx 6 points7 points ago

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Wow, takes a pretty manly man to insult his girlfriend behind her back on the Internet

[–]thomsonwithnop 5 points6 points ago

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now your just making puns for the halibut

[–]_ap_ 1 point2 points ago

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well good =D I don't live too far from here. gonna have to go seek out this sign next time I'm over that way.

[–]megamoose4 1 point2 points ago

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dat be a ho' fo' sho' my mc'nizzle

[–]NotaPoet 1 point2 points ago

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So, that's why your couch is all worn out.

[–]mindrover 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Pussypants 1 point2 points ago

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Yay for Plymouth! When my friend said we're going to the Hoe, I instantly chuckled to myself for a good few minutes.

[–]rwohlhueter 1 point2 points ago

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She must really enjoy all the driftwood that washes up on her

[–]Would-I-Hit-It 1 point2 points ago

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Totally.

[–]prplhayes 1 point2 points ago

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Reasons why redditor's wife is sad all the time.....

[–]nothin_but_a_peanut 1 point2 points ago

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Does anybody else see a pink smiley KKK member on that map?

[–]ChocolateBatman 1 point2 points ago

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I KNOW THIS GIRL. wow that's so weird. I'm assuming the OP is called Cal?

[–]cluelessthrownaway 1 point2 points ago

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Soon to be ex-girlfriend, if not already, I'd assume...

[–]byoonbyoon 1 point2 points ago

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The look on her face leads me to believe she knows whats up.

[–]ekonza 1 point2 points ago

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Dude your girlfriend is pretty!

[–]DeemSleep 1 point2 points ago

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[–]ARGHJP 1 point2 points ago

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Upvote for fellow Plymouth redditors.

[–]Providing_the_Source 1 point2 points ago

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Plymouth repres... oh, nevermind.

[–]jfloydian 1 point2 points ago

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I love the fact that it says, "danger" under it.

[–]HULK-SMASH 1 point2 points ago

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As a graduate of Plymouth University i gotta admit, i loved that hoe.

AND JAKES!

[–]thesorrow312 1 point2 points ago

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Is this the new Brool story co?

[–]mrRabblerouser 1 point2 points ago

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no she didn't

[–]Sert8808 1 point2 points ago

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Iseewhatyoudidthar. Better luck in your next relationship.

[–]xyroclast 1 point2 points ago

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No she didn't.

[–]LarsoVanguard 1 point2 points ago

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Ahh, so she hasn't seen the pic reposted one billion times of a woman standing by the same sign you sought out after seeing it posted before?

[–]hlipschitz 1 point2 points ago

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I took a picture of my ex-girlfriend next to this sign.

FTFY

[–]MySperm 1 point2 points ago

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The conversation

You: OMG STAND NEXT TO THAT SIGN, I CAN GET KARMA ON REDDIT FOR THIS

Her: ffs are you kidding me....

[–]Wondering_Wandering 1 point2 points ago

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[–]brohamma 1 point2 points ago

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Bahahaha! I hope for your sake she doesn't use reddit.

[–]capnfancynipples 1 point2 points ago

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What are you implying?

[–]Sadgasmic 1 point2 points ago

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40 year old virgin ftw

[–]wimcolgate2 1 point2 points ago

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You mean your ex-girlfriend.