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top 200 commentsshow all 328

[–]rlbond86 116 points117 points ago

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He's lying.

HE'S LYING

[–]AmIKawaiiUguuu 23 points24 points ago

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Maybe this screenshot will convince you otherwise.

[–]joebobfrank 50 points51 points ago

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NSFL

[–]the2belo 1 point2 points ago

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NSFM

[–]reefed14 14 points15 points ago

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Don't click if you're squeamish. I found out the hard way.

[–]Drawtaru 11 points12 points ago

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I can't even tell what it is, viewing it on my phone. I'm assuming that it's a dead pig?

[–]bebeschtroumph 7 points8 points ago

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It's Miss Piggy, floating in a river.

[–]pennyroyal 11 points12 points ago

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So, yes, a dead pig.

[–]jollyxgreenexgiant 5 points6 points ago

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I'ev been looking for this FOR YEARS. I saw this on Conan when I was in the 8th grade and my friend and I DIED LAUGHING.

[–]PraiseTebus 3 points4 points ago

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cue Laura Palmer's theme

[–]redshirttt 1 point2 points ago

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Ew. I was skeptical, but that is really creepy. I think what made it so creepy is the way her eyes are rolled back, and her skin is all pale like a real corpse.

[–]timeformetofly 0 points1 point ago

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He is. Here, this will make you feel better. THIS is reality.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wTqvWxl7604

[–]HeresALinkToThatPart 80 points81 points ago

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The whole interview is 7 minutes long.

But here's a link to that part.

[–]indiegd 6 points7 points ago

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Hahaha the bit about the comment card & his face had me in tears. That's so awesome. Thanks for dropping the link. Really need to watch this film.

[–]bolgrot 13 points14 points ago

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That was a lot funnier than the pic. Keep up the good work.

[–]rawrab 6 points7 points ago

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I have such a raging lady boner right now

[–]CrackedPepper86 1 point2 points ago

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A very useful novelty account.

[–]BlazerMorte 71 points72 points ago

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I'd never really thought about it much. That would be horrifying.

[–]clubdepizza 138 points139 points ago

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Soulless puppets always freak me out.

[–]hiphophippopotamus 201 points202 points ago

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What does this image have to do with scientologists?

[–]NoseKnowsAll 47 points48 points ago

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HEY-O.

But seriously - scientologists are people too...even if they believe the weirdest shit known to man.

[–]peon47 58 points59 points ago

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But seriously - scientologists are people too

Not according to scientology.

[–]Poultry_Sashimi 10 points11 points ago

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Ba-zinga!

[–]riemannman 3 points4 points ago

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Yeah, Hitler was a person too

/godwinslawwinsagain

[–]gregermeister 19 points20 points ago

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If you think about it, it's really no weirder than the idea that some spirit thing seperate from your physical body was damned to a place of eternal torment until a couple thousand years ago, when god sacrificed himself to himself in order to circumvent rules of his own making, and now you get to go up into the sky and live in perfect bliss forever. But only if you're good.

[–]CaptainNibbles 44 points45 points ago

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Considering the level of weird religion already displays, scientology is still really fucking weird.

[–][deleted] 19 points20 points ago

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Nice try, Scientology.

[–]rsheahen 1 point2 points ago

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No, man, it's not Scientology that's trippy, perhaps it is the way thay we percieve it that is indeed trippy.

[–]sheik790 5 points6 points ago

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You should've just said "yeah"

[–]BarackisKing 2 points3 points ago*

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Or a woman who listened to a talking snake and ate an apple dooming humanity for eternity.

[–]curious_bi-winning 1 point2 points ago

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But only if you're good? GOSH didn't you learn anything? You have to accept Jesus into your heart to get to heaven; it's not through good works! If it were that easy, think how many people would be saved? Too many.

Don't worry, if you don't make it to heaven, it shouldn't be too bad in hell. I mean, if Satan is in millions of places at once on Earth, tempting countless numbers, he's not going to be in hell when you get there.

[–]YourOldBoyRickJames 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, but they don't move without somebody's hand up their arse either...

[–]ComebackShane 18 points19 points ago

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As opposed to the puppets that have souls?

[–]burnoutspartan 9 points10 points ago

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If childhood horror movies have taught me anything its that that'd be more terrifying.

[–]OlmecsTempleGuard 12 points13 points ago

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Does anyone know why my brain lets me think Kermit and friends have souls? I know they're just sewn together fabric and some person's voice but when I watch the movies I think about their feelings and I wonder what they're up to when they're not on screen. It's not like a cartoon or a regular puppet. There's just something different about the Muppets.

[–]SCSweeps 8 points9 points ago

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They're not just puppets, they're characters told through puppets.

[–]KatyScratchPerry 3 points4 points ago

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And the story has likely woven its way throughout most redditors' childhoods.

[–]ThatWasFred 4 points5 points ago

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What is a muppet? Well, it's not quite a mop, and it's not quite a puppet, but man...hehehehe...so, to answer your question, I don't know.

[–]ofcoursemyhorse 2 points3 points ago

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That reminds me of Goosebumps the Horror TV kids show

[–]spoatnik 126 points127 points ago

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So my sister works for Sesame Street Live; stage productions and musicals with characters from Sesame Street, yeah?

So anyway, she took me and my family back stage after a show and we see all the costumes that people wear on stage (yes it's people in suits, not legit puppets).

But the craziest one is Big Bird. It's a pair of bird-leg pants and the top half is the actual bird that gets lowered onto the actor with a pulley system. I'm not even joking. Big Bird cut in half with the top half hanging from wires.

TL;DR Yeah, muppets off camera are pretty goddamn terrifying.

[–]MikeTheBum 65 points66 points ago

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Sesame Street Chainsaw Massacre

[–]CaptainChaos 33 points34 points ago

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Nightmare on Sesame Street

[–]Clumpy 1 point2 points ago

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The Hills Have Googley Eyes

[–]DrColon 29 points30 points ago

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[–]cricketgreen2 48 points49 points ago

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big bird doesn't work - he's homeless, living in a ghetto street for the past 40 years. That bastard leeches money from the government's public broadcasting budget.

[–]atypicaloddity 77 points78 points ago

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And viewers like you.

[–]BonePwns13 26 points27 points ago

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Thank you.

[–]thecw 9 points10 points ago

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And the Helena Rubenstein Foundation (a longtime supporter of outstanding children's television)

[–]brownstoned[!] 10 points11 points ago

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With additional funding from, The Corporation for Public Broadcasting.

[–]rynlnk 9 points10 points ago

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And the letter "W"

[–]spoatnik 13 points14 points ago

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Actually, there's this thing called a "mech" that goes in one of the hands.

It's a hand control with a servo that goes to the mouth. Squeeze it and the mouth opens.

[–]BurntCarousel 10 points11 points ago

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Yeah, I was just wondering if that guy's arm got tired if it would look like Big Bird broke his neck.

[–]histumness 11 points12 points ago

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I want a similar diagram that shows how Bob Dole works.

[–]MrHeather 1 point2 points ago

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He has a dead arm! I didn’t realize that.

[–]Tonamel 3 points4 points ago

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I think Big Bird's puppeteer can take his arm out of the head to work the other hand. Regular muppets also have a dead arm, unless there's a second puppeteer (called a "right-hander") working it.

Since most muppeteers are right-handed, they use that hand to work the mouth. This is why almost all muppets are left-handed.

[–]BattleHardened 2 points3 points ago

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Is that why most muppets also have a bigger left bicep than right?

[–]MrHeather 1 point2 points ago

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I think Big Bird's puppeteer can take his arm out of the head to work the other hand.

I was talking about Bob Dole.

He should get those upgrades they set up for Big Bird.

[–]jesus_swept 2 points3 points ago

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Big Bird eats PEOPLE?! I wonder what his poop looks like.

[–]SicilianEggplant 5 points6 points ago

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I've heard they do the same for Snuffalupagus(?). Basically those large costumes are hung around so their not just laying in some box or on the ground. Plus I would assume it's easier to put on if it's just lowered down on top of you instead of someone trying to do the same.

[–]lufty 3 points4 points ago

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I met some of the actors from Avenue Q last summer. They held a panel at an anime convention in Dallas. I learned a lot about puppets and it was a lot of fun.

[–]Kynaeus 2 points3 points ago

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That's a lot of trouble to go through for a big bird costume, they should just hire Kaitlin Olson to play Big Bird

[–]spoatnik 2 points3 points ago

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I don't think I could take being attracted to Big Bird.

[–]Kynaeus 1 point2 points ago

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You're attracted to giant flightless birds? Sick freak

[–]spoatnik 2 points3 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

No. Just Kaitlin Olson.

[–]kernelhappy 1 point2 points ago

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At about 8 years old in the early 80s I got a private tour of Henson studios. Amazingly it was cool as shit and didn't ruin the franchise for me. That and getting to hold and use the actual puppets rocked.

[–]kentrel 26 points27 points ago

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Why? Are they sleeping?

[–]Laaoa47 26 points27 points ago

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They're waiting.

[–]anderson7 16 points17 points ago

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soon.

[–]MCozens 41 points42 points ago

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Mahna Mahna

[–]asoap 24 points25 points ago

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Do doo da doooo.

[–]ComebackShane 22 points23 points ago

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Mahna Mahna!

[–]perma4 19 points20 points ago

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Ever heard Cake's cover?

[–]ComebackShane 6 points7 points ago

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Are you kidding? It's my ringtone!

[–]MCozens 1 point2 points ago

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[–]zwaldowski 3 points4 points ago

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I love you.

[–]Shamwow22 2 points3 points ago

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♪ Doot do-doot doo. ♫

[–]claymore_kitten 249 points250 points ago

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jason segel never fails to be awesome.

[–]filmfiend999 237 points238 points ago

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I love when he does the Andre the Giant impression:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nSflbdJlBTY

[–]bldhndr 20 points21 points ago

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He also did the impression while hosting SNL a couple weeks ago, I thought this one was even better! http://www.hulu.com/watch/302531/saturday-night-live-andre-the-giant-gets-an-ice-cream

[–]Malazin 16 points17 points ago

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Sorry, currently our video library can only be watched from within the United States

:'(

[–]mjsher2 6 points7 points ago

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[–]Malazin 1 point2 points ago

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<3

[–]Kelaos 1 point2 points ago

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Thank you oh so very much (from Canada)

[–]Forgot_Username 13 points14 points ago

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God damn it, hulu can suck my Canadian balls.

[–]listen_hooker 1 point2 points ago

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IP blocker!

[–]an0kha 6 points7 points ago

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For the first time ever, I click a hulu link and it actually works. Fuck yea!

Although, it' because I am currently visiting relatives US. :|

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]CaptainNibbles 7 points8 points ago

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Wait, I liked the video but if I upvote the comment, I'll die? But what about filmfiend999? Don't they deserve credit for showing me this video? Did they know upvoting the comment supporting the video was going to kill people?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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Technically an upvote for the comment is an upvote for the video as the comment will rise, more people will see the video, and most likely more people will like the video.

I am more stringent with my Youtube likes since I actually check my liked folder on there, so I upvoted the comment and not the video. But I am using the previous logic to help myself sleep at night.

[–]helium_farts 1 point2 points ago

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That doesn't sound very safe.

[–]laliloleelee 4 points5 points ago

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I had zero need to see that movie before you showed me that clip. Good jorb!

[–]listen_hooker 8 points9 points ago

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Seriously. He pm'ed me on Twitter on Sunday just to say a friendly hello and to say he hoped that my weekend was going well. I was having such a shitty day, and it was such a nice gesture. Definitely made me feel better.

[–]claymore_kitten 5 points6 points ago

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...waittttttttttt. how? do you know him? CAN HE INTRODUCE ME TO KERMIT? TELL ME.

[–]listen_hooker 6 points7 points ago

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Haha that's the crazy part. I just added him on twitter and responded to one of his tweets. I was just sitting there watching a movie when I get a notification on my phone that I got a message from him. So no, I don't know him, but judging from our short conversation, he seems very genuine and down to earth.

[–]Kelaos 4 points5 points ago

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I love hearing stories like this, I feel Jason Segel is like the friendly Marshall I know him so well as

[–]claymore_kitten 1 point2 points ago

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andddddddddddddddd just set up a twitter account. some i too shall be rubbing virtual shoulders with the stars.

[–]laddergoat89 4 points5 points ago

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Marshall has always been my favourite character on HIMYM, not Barney.

He is wonderful.

[–]Neonimous 1029 points1030 points ago*

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Nope, Mexican accent.

EDIT: So this comment was meant for THIS post. For some reason, I don't really feel like moving it now.

[–]NapalmLubricant[S] 551 points552 points ago

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IT STAYS.

[–]orange_jooze 257 points258 points ago

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OR ELSE IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

[–]dangerousnd2004 46 points47 points ago

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Better to think of him saying that in a mexican accent. you know holmes, that kermit guy is like all dead and stuff

[–]oqnet 16 points17 points ago

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sounds like Cheech to me.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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Shit, I read it like that too and I don't even watch Cheech and Chong.

[–]necrocountant 2 points3 points ago

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Holy shit! How in the world- I don't even- the internet continues to amaze me

[–]MJ23157 5 points6 points ago

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is this the nacho line?

[–]C17H17Cl2N 4 points5 points ago

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Are we nude?

[–]CoolSocks 87 points88 points ago

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[–]DystopiaX 18 points19 points ago

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Is it sad that at this point there are so many novelty accounts that I wasn't sure if the picture was actually relevant or if it was a picture of cool socks?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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No... Well, yes.

[–]CoolSocks 1 point2 points ago

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If I was a novelty account I'd probably go with PICTURE_OF_COOL_SOCKS.

Also, not a picture of cool socks.

[–]Daemon_of_Mail 1 point2 points ago

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Ah yes, Spanish-speaking attorney firms... approximately 90% of all bus ads.

[–]demonice1159 10 points11 points ago

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mustache marshall strikes again!!!

[–]Iamsqueegee 12 points13 points ago

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We're outsourcing Muppets now?

[–]Lots42 2 points3 points ago

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Bring me Kermit's Non-Union Mexican equivalent!

[–]MananWho 34 points35 points ago

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For some reason, reddit likes it when people do stupid shit like this, so I'll keep it.

FTFY

[–]kodek64 15 points16 points ago

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[–]shootforzemoon 2 points3 points ago

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I vote they make caga tio a muppet character- http://wp.me/p1teGh-Fu

[–]xnerdyxrealistx 10 points11 points ago

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Upvote for out of context comment

[–]ogmilk 15 points16 points ago

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Video youtube link

[–]baph 14 points15 points ago

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Maniacal...stroke

[–]phu5ion_work 12 points13 points ago

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You'd appear a lot more lively too, if someone stuck their hand up your ass.

[–]WeCameAsBromans 88 points89 points ago

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I could masturbate for hours to Jason Segel memes.

[–]highandentertained 33 points34 points ago

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your username

your comment

it's only 12:49 pm but i think im already nearing my reddit limit for the day

[–]WeCameAsBromans 8 points9 points ago*

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Thanks.... i think? I leave you now hunt to for "sandwiches." (Wish me luck)

Edit: Drunk me accidentally a word.

[–]extremethrowaway 5 points6 points ago

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I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you.

(If you're hunting alone, find a wingman. Sandwiches are skittish little devils.)

[–]highandentertained 3 points4 points ago

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wat

where the hell are these mobile sandwiches

what is going on

[–]Fuego_Fiero 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Herollit 12 points13 points ago

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I am also high and entertained

[–]highandentertained 22 points23 points ago

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me too!

[–]2oublethink 0 points1 point ago

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  1. Check comment history 2. Account older than 1 day 3. Upvote

[–]GeorgeTaylorG 2 points3 points ago

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You are turned away by a band reference, and a masturbation joke? You don't have a very good tolerance.

[–]highandentertained 1 point2 points ago

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what was the band reference?

i did a wakenbake this morning

[–]NavaSauce 2 points3 points ago

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There's a band called we came as romans, sometimes referred to as we came as bromans for fun

[–]GeorgeTaylorG 1 point2 points ago

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high fives you

I'm actually about to go smoke. And yes, "We Came As Romans" is a Post-Hardcore/screamo band.

[–]Nipzzz 5 points6 points ago

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Seriously. The things I would do to that man...

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]themisc 13 points14 points ago

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The "Gary's face" story is priceless

[–]incalculusnow 53 points54 points ago

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[–]RottenDeadite 15 points16 points ago

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BUCKFUTTER!

[–]callmemayday 1 point2 points ago

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So I read that as Fuck Butter. Then Buff Cutter......

[–]RottenDeadite 4 points5 points ago

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Oh, I bet you did, Trebek...

[–]Finssufari 9 points10 points ago

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wakka wakka

[–]kellysaurus 24 points25 points ago

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He is just too adorable.

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 26 points27 points ago

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Some day, you and I are going to double team that magnificent man.

[–]kellysaurus 16 points17 points ago

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If I was EVER down with a tricycle, I'd be involving this man. But afterward I'd have to kill you. Nothing personal, but the precious is mine....

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 17 points18 points ago

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That would be a terribly disappointing three way, and now I'm not looking forward to it nearly as much as before this comment.

[–]ohdeargodhelpme 8 points9 points ago

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Go on...

[–]SkippyRodriguez 5 points6 points ago

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My friend was on Sesame Street when she was younger, she said Big Bird was a smoker, used to take his head off and smoke on set. Also, Snuffleupagus was hung from the ceiling.

[–]stinkybutt 2 points3 points ago

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both are actually true!

[–]UnderD4Donut 16 points17 points ago

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Jason Segel gives me such a lady boner. He's got the perfect amount of sweetness, humor and pervertedness that I want.

[–]_severin 13 points14 points ago

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This. He's even tall, and I HATE tall people, but I can overlook that because he's so perfect. He cried when he first met Kermit, you know. That turns me on so much.

[–]batsignal_to_mars 2 points3 points ago

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Fuck, I'm a lesbian but Jason's just so sweet and funny that I'd bed him in a heartbeat.

[–]ireallylikecake 4 points5 points ago

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dont worry LCD soundsystem already ruined Kermit for me. dont believe me? go to 4.20 in this and you'll see what i mean http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-eohHwsplvY

[–]stellarfury 3 points4 points ago

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My wife did some work for the company that makes the costumes for Sesame Street Live. Apparently, due to the size and delicateness of the costumes (while they're being made), the storage areas of the workshop are just extremely horrifying. Like "Big Bird hanging from the ceiling by hooks with his beak duct-taped shut" horrifying. Cookie Monster pelts on a coatrack. Elmo skins hanging from the walls.

[–]toiletmouth 7 points8 points ago*

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In the 50 years Muppets have been around, you know someone involved in the productions fucked one.

[–]BladeMaster0182 1 point2 points ago

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God damn it. I want to be mad at you but you're probably right.

[–]bashurst 4 points5 points ago

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Illusion shattered, my inner child is crying.

[–]I-hardly-know-her 4 points5 points ago

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Inner?

[–]Magic_is_the_answer 10 points11 points ago

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Inner? I hardly know her!

[–]litterFUCKINGlife 4 points5 points ago

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I'm in your child crying*

[–]cyricsmith 4 points5 points ago

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I'm in your crying child

[–]SirBenjamin 2 points3 points ago

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Even to this day seeing those films I always believed that the Muppets were actually alive.

[–]kyrodes 2 points3 points ago

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they are not?

[–]crbsideprophet13 2 points3 points ago

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Upvote for his SNL performance actually bringing back the funny!

[–]chefmcduck 2 points3 points ago

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Conan O'Brien said that when he visits Sesame Street to guest star, he often sees Snuffleuppugus shoved in the rafters just hanging out. He also said it was extremely terrifying and creepy to see your childhood hero just all limp and dead.

[–]konopliamir 1 point2 points ago

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Are they all hooked on heroin?

[–]xr71bb 1 point2 points ago

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[–]HRT_team 1 point2 points ago

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Do watch this short on The Sound of The Muppets. Love these little guys.

[–]fuzzynyanko 1 point2 points ago

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I'm starting to wonder if people will ever post videos

[–]Rapta 1 point2 points ago

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Lawyered.

[–]Theditor 1 point2 points ago

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Along with Nicholas Stoller, Segel approached Disney in 2007 to write the latest Muppets film. Disney was unsure how to take the request, as Segel had just done nudity in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, but after realizing that he was a fan, the plan was approved.

This line from his wiki is kinda awesome.

[–]Canadia86 1 point2 points ago

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videotoimagefornoeasonwithtext.jpg

[–]AndrewWilsonnn 1 point2 points ago

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[–]geekcangirl 1 point2 points ago

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[–]shillelagh 2 points3 points ago

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uh... illusion spoiled! (poor muppets)

[–]oktboy1 2 points3 points ago

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I <3 Jason Segel! He is awesome!

[–]helikesit 0 points1 point ago

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i always thought they would be making comments like "all the children in springfield are s.o.b.s".

[–]nicotoroboto 0 points1 point ago

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Conan said the same a few years ago. It does sound freaky though.

[–]i_like_sound 0 points1 point ago

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As someone who has visited the muppet wing at the Atlanta puppet museum I can say that this is accurate. The swedish chef's hands are incredibly realistic and creepy.

[–]Flamewall26 0 points1 point ago

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I'm just waiting for some super cool person to make a new rageface out of this. Because we don't already have enough.

[–]GeorgeTaylorG 0 points1 point ago

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Anyone see him on Conan where he talks about how every interview asks what the muppets are like off the screen?

[–]KDaddy463 0 points1 point ago

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Looks like the AAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAH face

[–]Quatroking 0 points1 point ago

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They're dead, Jim!

[–]Felliniesque 0 points1 point ago

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First and last time I browse reddit in class

[–]cosmicr 0 points1 point ago

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oh, I thought this was gonna be his AMA.

[–]glenaypia 0 points1 point ago

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I thought this was going to be one of those, behind the scenes muppets are actually alive jokes.

[–]UlquiorraSchiffer 0 points1 point ago

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Yeah, I hate when celebrities are so involved in drugs, makes them a pain to work with.

[–]Lots42 0 points1 point ago

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I want the second panel to be a rage face purely for the off-chance I might make one concerning Vicodin in the future.

I have odd desires.

[–]DrooGee 0 points1 point ago

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I'd have gone with 'theyre like condoms, the fun doesn't start until something is inside them.'

[–]jmcat5 0 points1 point ago

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Om nom nom nom!

[–]indefort 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't know the Muppets took naps like that.

[–]BagelTrollop 0 points1 point ago

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I always thought that the most terrifying place in the world would be the retired muppet room in the dark.

[–]dubstepturnip 0 points1 point ago

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That's how I sleep at work during my lunch break.

[–]CAPTA1NRAG3 0 points1 point ago

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sauce?

[–]MCozens 0 points1 point ago*

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Picture of the Muppets' set while filming + Description

inside Muppets edition of Disney's Twenty Three magazine. No, I don't subscribe. They handed them out at the premiere.

Thought the set pic was kinda cool.

[–]jcrocket 0 points1 point ago

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I didn't see the movie because when they said Jason Segel all I could think was this.

[–]KioshiRawk 0 points1 point ago

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I've been a puppeteer for six years, and I can confirm this.

[–]Ryu6912 0 points1 point ago

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Wow that was way funnier than I what I expect from a two panel-er.

[–]meateoryears 0 points1 point ago

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he is annoying

[–]Hrymir 0 points1 point ago

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in Germany the new movie is called "Die Muppets"

i don't want to live in this country anymore