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all 130 comments

[–]Harold_Grundelson 61 points62 points ago

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I wonder if one of those medals is for having all of those medals.

[–]ChicagoBurdman 46 points47 points ago

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Achievement Unlock: Complete all achievements.

[–]sciencifying 44 points45 points ago

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Unfortunately that would be logically unsatisfiable.

[–]Sir_Berus 9 points10 points ago

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Well sciencifyed good sir.

[–]WastedAtheist 6 points7 points ago

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No, because you could just... I mean all you'd have to do is... huh.

[–]castellammare 0 points1 point ago

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Complete All Achievements Besides This One?

...nope, still doesn't work.

[–]invincibleme 0 points1 point ago

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[(Only) Secret achievement] Complete all nonsecret achievements

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Complete all other achievements.

MadeThatPossibleFY

[–]mjohniii 80 points81 points ago

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Kiff, show them the medal I won.

[–]SocImag 46 points47 points ago

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Brannigan's Law is like Brannigan's love. Hard and fast.

[–]Hubso 27 points28 points ago

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"Have the boy lay out my shorts."

"The boy sir?"

"You Kiff! You lay out my shorts."

[–]bloodyflux 15 points16 points ago

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I am the man with no name. Zap Brannigan, at your service.

[–]castellammare 11 points12 points ago

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STOP EXPLODING YOU COWARDS!

[–]SocImag 19 points20 points ago

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I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies.

[–]Cane_Skretteburg 6 points7 points ago

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But sir, what should I do with all the jergins?

Go squirt it on some homeless people with dry elbows

[–]castellammare 11 points12 points ago

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"What the hell is that thing?"

"It appears to be the Mother Ship."

"Then what did we just blow up?!"

"...the Hubble Telescope."

[–]himynameispaul 11 points12 points ago

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If we hit this bulls-eye, then the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate.

[–]ballpark485 2 points3 points ago

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Fly the white flag of war.

[–]flamingeyebrows 16 points17 points ago

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I am trying to imagine how one win that many medals and the only thing I am coming up with is 'be Captain America.'

[–]mjohniii 11 points12 points ago

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"And this is my stage two knot-tying ribbon. And this is my never-more-than-five-minutes-late ribbon. And this is my..."

[–]FareweII 11 points12 points ago*

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Most of this medals worth are very low (i'm not saying that all of them,i think he's awesome,but i don't see "Hero of USSR" medal anywhere ).

My grandfather worked at factory in 44-45( he was too young to fight,14) and he had like 10 medals for that.Most of them was "5/10/15 etc. years since WW2" and he couldn't care less ,lost all of them i think.

[–]ghosttrainhobo 0 points1 point ago

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Medals are cheaper than raises and bonuses.

[–]TheCrownedWolf 0 points1 point ago

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So are they Russian? I came to the comments to find out what country they're from because I've never seen a soldier wearing a blue beret before.

[–]FareweII 2 points3 points ago

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Yes,it's Russian Airborne Troops. Those dudes are brutal btw.

[–]DieselMcBadass 0 points1 point ago

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How so?

[–]MrCurvature 24 points25 points ago

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This is what I feel like when I play battlefield 3 with the reddit clan.

[–]Story_to_your_Name 25 points26 points ago*

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Mr.Straight had been walking down the street, minding his own business, when out of nowhere a mutha' fuckin' freight train blew its horn. He looked and saw that it was coming straight for him. He couldn't get out of the way in time so he made a split second decision. He dived to the side, but the train caught him in the side, bending him, throwing him away. He woke up in a nearby hospital months later. he hurt. Everywhere. He couldn't remember who he was. His name was gone and the doctors asked for a name. He came up with the only thing he could. He looked at his body, its broken, but curved shape gave him an idea.

[–]MrCurvature 6 points7 points ago

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How wonderfully unexpected! Thank you!

[–]Story_to_your_Name 7 points8 points ago

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No problem. When inspiration hits, you just have to let it take its course. :D

[–]JamRad 0 points1 point ago

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You are my new favourite.

[–]DieselMcBadass 0 points1 point ago

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Please...do my name, pleaaaaseee.

[–]superawesomeid 9 points10 points ago

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At this point, the old man is invincible. He is basically wearing a bullet vest.

[–]GilChesterton 18 points19 points ago

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The n00b looks like Bradley Cooper.

[–]sterluv 9 points10 points ago

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I was thinking a little more like Ralph Fiennes.

[–]Leadpumper -1 points0 points ago

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I think it's Alexander Buinov

[–]Senator_Prevert 4 points5 points ago

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That's some serious flair.

[–]omfghi2u 2 points3 points ago

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As a good-at-videogames man, this always makes me laugh.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Osiris32 13 points14 points ago

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As a military MAN you were honorably discharged from the WOMEN'S Air Force Service Pilots? Congrats on helping take down barriers, Dora.

[–]dezman2011 -1 points0 points ago

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I could hear that bitchslap from Canada. Good work.

[–]hideki_BROjo 19 points20 points ago

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He said military, not the costumed civilian mechanics we call the Air Force. Have some pride, buddy.

[–]Razenghan 3 points4 points ago

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No, the Air Force is completely different. For example, now I'm making coffee at my nice civilian job.

[–]SaintSinn3r 18 points19 points ago

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As a military man, this always made me laugh...

[–]AF_admin 13 points14 points ago

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As an airman I am disappoint. I'm pretty sure we all share the same mission.

[–]SaintSinn3r 11 points12 points ago*

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My dad was a zoomie. :)

He laughed his ass off when I sent him this

[–]AF_admin 2 points3 points ago

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lol I will admit, I laughed pretty hard as well.

[–]DieselMcBadass 0 points1 point ago

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I dont think i understand whats going on here... :(

[–]RainDownMyBlues 0 points1 point ago

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That's hilarious.

[–]gimli666 8 points9 points ago

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dont be, they're just jealous of your awesome toys

[–]HexagonalClosePacked 2 points3 points ago

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You guys have a stargate, his argument is invalid.

[–]Feed_Me_Seymour 1 point2 points ago

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Dude, Marines have the shittiest job in the service. All we have is our pride, and the clout to tease the shit out of our 6 week boot camp Chair Force brethren.

Besides, your uniforms always look like shit. Learn to use an iron.

[–]AF_admin 1 point2 points ago

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Our BMT is 8 1/2 weeks now, I should know I just went through it a year and a half ago. As for ironing, yes..I agree Marines are a sharp bunch. I respect the hardwork you all put in!

[–]Dawgpdr07 0 points1 point ago

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Our ABU's are permanent press and it is actually against the Dress and Appearance AFI to iron it. As for our blues... I don't wear them often but I assure you they are well pressed when I do. Also, BMT is 8 1/2 weeks now and I spent much longer in tech school to do my job than most people in the other services will.

[–]Feed_Me_Seymour 0 points1 point ago

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it is actually against the Dress and Appearance AFI to iron it

Of course it is. Marines aren't supposed to either.

Did that stop us? Fuck no...I could slice a loaf of bread with my cammie crease.

[–]Dawgpdr07 0 points1 point ago

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Not gonna lie, I miss having it pressed from the dry cleaners like at basic and I've starched my caps a few times to keep em from looking like crap.

[–]Mexi_Cant 0 points1 point ago

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Im sorry with your username and what you said made me laugh more then I should have.

[–]AF_admin 1 point2 points ago

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o_O

[–]tsilb 3 points4 points ago

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OK, you guys go run into the firefight. We'll just bomb it from a few thousand miles away.

[–]RainDownMyBlues -1 points0 points ago

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And do lazy maths to inflict a bunch of friendly fire. Thanks guys. ಠ_ಠ

[–]tsilb 2 points3 points ago

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That's why we shouldn't send in ground forces until after the air raid. Cleanup and whatnot.

[–]RainDownMyBlues -1 points0 points ago*

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Air raids are really only worthwhile against infrastructure or pockets of enemy build up. Unless you just want to carpet bomb entire villages, which will lose local and international support.

[–]Dawgpdr07 0 points1 point ago

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Eh, we tend to take out the Air Forces of the companies that we're about to invade. Other than that I think most of what we do is close air support with precision strikes.

[–]tsilb -1 points0 points ago

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Is it a war, or is it a war? We shouldn't be doing what we're doing out there anyway. Declare war, destroy the country, and fucking keep it. Do it big, do it fast, do it cheap.

[–]RainDownMyBlues 0 points1 point ago

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You carpet bomb civvies and every other country will have a bloodlust for the U.S.

Your comment is ignorant. I served, I carried a rifle. I'd rather have a few un-educated people shooting at me, than enrage enough people to have them all shooting my way.

And before you say, "omgz we can crush them allz." No, no we can not.

[–]The_Admin 0 points1 point ago

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I've always heard it's the Marines, then the chair force, the Babysitters, and the taxis.

[–]YD-DR 1 point2 points ago

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Thought your name was Funguy17...only clicked for the mushroom jokes.

[–]roosterfish 1 point2 points ago

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That's what you call a "Full Metal Jacket"

[–]ebromic 4 points5 points ago

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It's also a Full Medal Jacket

[–]roosterfish 0 points1 point ago

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1 to you! good game....

[–]DieselMcBadass -1 points0 points ago

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Soo...does your name mean cocksucker?

[–]roosterfish 0 points1 point ago

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No, sorry to disappoint you. I believe the word you were looking for is imply just as your name implies you are a redneck who over compensates for a small penis by driving a pointlessly huge diesel truck while playing some type of heavy metal music in the drive through of McDonald's to give the illusion you're some kind of tempestuous person.

[–]DieselMcBadass -1 points0 points ago

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Well reason i thought that is thats why my niece calls them. and no...i drive a '92 camaro Rs

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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[–]passiveobserver 0 points1 point ago

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... speechless

[–]gl77 1 point2 points ago

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Oh I get it....the one guy has more silly-looking shiny pieces of metal on his uniform than the other guy has on his.

[–]islerock_waterfall 1 point2 points ago

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As a family man this always makes me go home

[–]BrainFever 1 point2 points ago

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scumbag

[–]OnAirJeff 3 points4 points ago

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Now let's all celebrate with a cool glass of turnip juice.

[–]Wetzilla 1 point2 points ago

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The few people I know in the military don't actually care about medals at all. One guy I know keeps his in a coffee mug on his desk (including his bronze stars, one with valor). They just view what they do as their job, and don't really see the point in getting rewarded for it.

Still a funny picture!

[–]imnotyourboyfriend 1 point2 points ago

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I woke my superior up from his 4 hours a day rest from duty, he asked me wtf was i doing and i showed him this. I can still hear him chuckling in his bed.

[–]DudeWithCreepyLaugh 1 point2 points ago

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its almost like he self bullet proofed the front of his uniform

[–]Zerosan 0 points1 point ago

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reminds me of bionic commando.

[–]ngtstkr 0 points1 point ago

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Happy cake day, n00b...

[–]quirx90 0 points1 point ago

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It must sound like a bag of nickels being shaken when he moves

[–]Leadpumper 0 points1 point ago

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Isn't that Alexander Buinov as the n00b?

[–]illmoney 0 points1 point ago

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Well it's easy if you've been in every war since the existence of mankind

[–]Feed_Me_Seymour 0 points1 point ago

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Hey gramps, your shit is totally out of reg.

[–]snap_wilson 0 points1 point ago

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"Military man" makes me think of The Beatles' "Lovely Rita"

[–]03Titanium 0 points1 point ago

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As a battlefield man. I also chuckle

[–]RareBk 0 points1 point ago

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The hell, is that Reb Brown?

[–]Tgijustin 0 points1 point ago

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He must have been Marine Corps admin...

[–]philmoskowitz 0 points1 point ago

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Hey! It's that guy that won ww2 for us. Neat!

[–]evilpoptart 0 points1 point ago

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That one on the left looks like a dictator.

[–]jnbarnesuk 0 points1 point ago

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No one seems to have pointed out that this man is a fraud. He was arrested for it. He has never served.

[–]jnbarnesuk 0 points1 point ago

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er, I just searched for the article, I think I accused the wrong person! Please dis regard.

[–]Spiel88 1 point2 points ago*

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3/4 of those medals are made of cheap tin or plastic.

APOLOGY EDIT: I wasn't knocking this veteran's accomplishments, just merely stating a fact about Soviet craftmanship and liberal medal-awarding policies.

[–]ajehals 8 points9 points ago

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I wasn't aware it was what they were made of that counted.

[–]Spiel88 1 point2 points ago

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Good line.

I honestly can't tell which medals those are, but I have seen medals from a friend's grandfather, awarded to him throughout his career in the Soviet military, and in similar quantity. Assuming that this man has similar medals, many of those are just for being around. Kind of like merit badges.

[–]wolf1dude -1 points0 points ago

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actually given that the older one probably got his medals in WWII where his country was doing 3/5 of the fighting in some of the worst situations imaginable I'd say there is a fair chance many of those were legitimately earned.

[–]drock66 0 points1 point ago

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My Friends Sergeant in the Army sent this when they completed AIT

[–]hostesaft 0 points1 point ago

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REPOST!

[–]Pointsoutyourrepost -1 points0 points ago

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I'll just leave this here

[–]FraggotMan -3 points-2 points ago

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As a military man...

http://imgur.com/gm53W

[–]brf4n -2 points-1 points ago

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I think that guy hangs out by my carls jr. Gave him food once

[–]SaintSinn3r -2 points-1 points ago

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mmmm... fruit salad.