this post was submitted on
450 points (61% like it)
1,220 up votes 770 down votes

funny

subscribe2,581,677 readers

8,742 users here now

Reminder: Political posts are not permitted in /r/funny. Try /r/PoliticalHumor instead!

NEW! No gore or porn (including sexually graphic images). Other NSFW content must be tagged as such

Welcome to r/Funny:

You may only post if you are funny.

Please No:

  • posts with their sole purpose being to communicate with another redditor. Click for an Example.

  • Screenshots of reddit comment threads. Post a link with context to /r/bestof or /r/defaultgems if from a default subreddit instead.

  • Posts for the specific point of it being your reddit birthday.

  • Politics - This includes the 2012 Presidential candidates or bills in congress. Try /r/politicalhumor instead.

  • Rage comics - Go to /r/fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu instead.

  • Memes - Go to /r/AdviceAnimals or /r/Memes instead.

  • Demotivational posters - Go to /r/Demotivational instead.

  • Pictures of just text - Make a self post instead.

  • DAE posts - Go to /r/doesanybodyelse

  • eCards - the poll result was 55.02% in favor of removal. Please submit eCards to /r/ecards

  • URL shorteners - No link shorteners (or HugeURL) in either post links or comments. They will be deleted regardless of intent.

Rehosted webcomics will be removed. Please submit a link to the original comic's site and preferably an imgur link in the comments. Do not post a link to the comic image, it must be linked to the page of the comic. (*) (*)

Need more? Check out:

Still need more? See Reddit's best / worst and offensive joke collections (warning: some of those jokes are offensive / nsfw!).


Please DO NOT post personal information. This includes anything hosted on Facebook's servers, as they can be traced to the original account holder.


If your submission appears to be banned, please don't just delete it as that makes the filter hate you! Instead please send us a message with a link to the post. We'll unban it and it should get better. Please allow 10 minutes for the post to appear before messaging moderators


The moderators of /r/funny reserve the right to moderate posts and comments at their discretion, with regard to their perception of the suitability of said posts and comments for this subreddit. Thank you for your understanding.


CSS - BritishEnglishPolice ©2011

a community for

reddit is a source for what's new and popular online. vote on links that you like or dislike and help decide what's popular, or submit your own! learn more ›

all 21 comments

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I wish people would stop bitching about learning simple basic math. I'm tired of explaining to customers what sales tax is and how to calculated it. Also I'm tired of seeing people work registers and not be able to give me change of $38 from $37.50.

[–]DeepRoot -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I hear ya. This cashier's, she had to be late teens/early twenties, screen cleared before she could see how much change I deserved from giving her a ten for $8.43. I had to tell her she owed me $1.57. Without hesitation, she handed me my change and checked to see if I was correct w/ her manager as I walked away... it's sad, really.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I went to the jiffy lube recently to get an oil change. As I was paying for it (36.88), and had already been wrung(?) up, I decided I needed a air freshener for my car. It was a dollar, the girl had to get a calculator to add One dollar to 36.88. She was 19-20ish, and I wanted to cry ...

[–]whitediablo3137 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Tax duh d: but seriously thats sad

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Can't charge tax on a product with a value less than 1 dollar. Not many people know that, but it does piss me off when I buy a candybar for 99 cents and it comes out to 1.07, I really don't want to be carrying .93 in my pocket.

[–]unanun 11 points12 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Ugh, don't corrupt the Peanuts with that terrible dialogue. I saw this before and it was the first time I actually felt pretty bad, as if something was corrupted when it should not have been.

[–]ksparkz404 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is something I have always pondered

[–]gohurw 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Physics problems as well.

[–]DoWhile 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Answer: You're a grocer.

[–]neonroad 2 points3 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Photoshopped?

[–]jillyboooty 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Physics is worse.

From my physics homework: "The Army of the Nation of Whynot has a plan to propel small vehicles across the battlefield by shooting them, from behind, with a machine gun. They've hired you as a consultant to help with an upcoming test. A 200 test vehicle will roll along frictionless rails. The vehicle has a tall "sail" made of ultrahard steel. Previous tests have shown that a 20.0 bullet traveling at 400 rebounds from the sail at 100 . The design objective is for the cart to reach a speed of 18.0 in 20.0 . You need to tell them how many bullets to fire per second from the machine gun. Note that your answer should be a rate, which can be fractional, rather than a quantity, which must be an integer."

EDIT: the person who answers this correctly first gets a free upvote!

[–]unanun 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Conservation of momentum. Now get out of here, shameless husky.

[–]ztherion 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

This is exactly how a solar sail works. Replace "ultrahard steel" with "very thin mirror" and "bullet" with "photon." Currently, this technology is being used to propel the IKAROS spacecraft.

[–]Appicay 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Physics, where everything is either frictionless, in a vacuum, or both!

[–]pants428 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I was so relieved when my building went frictionless. The calculations are so much simpler now.

[–]BakulaSelleck92 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Only in math do you drop a 5 kg snickers bar from 6 meters.

[–]ArchonofFail 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I showed my math teacher this, instant extra credit!

[–]thehollowman84 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Pretty sure they've seen it, just like EVERYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.

[–]hill_watcher 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

If you have 5 oranges in one hand, and six apples in the other, what do you have?

Really fucking big hands.

[–]pants428 1 point2 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Q: Johnny had 30 candy bars, and he ate 25. What does Johnny have now?

A: Diabetes.

[–]CW3MH6 0 points1 point ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

I included this comic as a bonus in one of my recent projects.