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top 200 commentsshow all 246

[–]MySuperLove 160 points161 points ago

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If I drove past that kid, I'd yell "Good job kid!"

Seriously, he seems pretty cool for a 14 year old.

[–]Cancerous86 81 points82 points ago

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I'd stop by and hand him a nug and an apple.

[–]_pupil_ 53 points54 points ago

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Also Hustler's "Tripple-D December" issue.

[–]1FcKafeehaus 35 points36 points ago

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I would give him his man-card. He deserves it a little early.

[–]Gimli_Son_of_Gloin_ 28 points29 points ago

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And my Axe!!!

[–]Chewzilla 9 points10 points ago

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Axe or ax?

[–]kbpatel 7 points8 points ago

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Battle Axe(also cleverly disguised as a bong)!

[–]SteaminSemen 1 point2 points ago

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My battle axe doubles as a fiddle.

[–]kbpatel 1 point2 points ago

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But the fiddle is also a bong...right?

[–]FullOfMan 1 point2 points ago

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I had a couple of those laying around my pad somewhere, I think the kid deserves it too. Just have to remember where I placed them....

[–]noctrnalsymphony 5 points6 points ago

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"76 pages of HO, HO, HOS!"

[–]grubas 5 points6 points ago

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Do kids really need porn mags anymore? I feel like the new generations version of hiding them under a loose floorboard is hiding them in a hidden folder in C:/Windows/Prn

[–]jolypa 7 points8 points ago

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Label it Taxes .. works every time.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]grubas 2 points3 points ago

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I have my own damn laptop that nobody else ever uses and all my porns buried about that deep...

I think it's to prevent me from idly browsing it when I have stuff to do.

[–]its4thecatlol 1 point2 points ago

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I keep it under sample videos.

[–]ArmenianMadeReddit 4 points5 points ago

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100%

[–]cookedsushi 10 points11 points ago

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How do you jerk off with an apple?

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 15 points16 points ago

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Put it in your butt.

[–]EdFinnerty 5 points6 points ago

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The whole apple?

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 8 points9 points ago

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I suppose that depends on how much of a size queen you are...

[–]LemonyPledge 2 points3 points ago

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When life gives you apples, make warm apple pie.

[–]CrazyMarmoset 4 points5 points ago

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Or an apple pipe

[–]NolanRoss 1 point2 points ago

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Insert obligatory Cave Johnson quote here.

[–]will60137 2 points3 points ago

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you say that now, but when push comes to shove, the kid can find his own damn nug

[–]crackiswhackexcept 2 points3 points ago

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and an overprotective parent staring out the window would call the authorities immediately

[–]ArmenianMadeReddit 0 points1 point ago

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GoodShit

[–]Reddicator 13 points14 points ago

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I love that he's smiling. Looks like he knows how ridiculous his parents are being and doesn't give a buck fuck.

I'd smoke him out.

Edit: language.

[–]doolahan 2 points3 points ago

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and he seems to be giving no shits.

[–]Missy_Elliott_Smith 2 points3 points ago

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I would high five that kid for several hours while staring his parents in the face with the Death Glare of 1000 Suns, slowly nodding.

[–]DadofFrankenstein 1 point2 points ago

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omg. gif of that please

[–]kmancb13 2 points3 points ago

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Hey I'm 14 and I do that I'm just not obvious as fuck

[–]Langbot 0 points1 point ago

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I'd give him a new sign that says:

"My parents are both religious nut-jobs, so this is my life."

[–]FreeRefills 65 points66 points ago

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Look at the shit-eating grin on that kid...

I'm as proud as he is.

[–]jessimica 13 points14 points ago

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Yeah that sign is more like his badge of honor.

[–]j_wheels 35 points36 points ago

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i would have smoked such a big blunt with him

[–]Airplane_Mode 10 points11 points ago

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Now I want to go do this to see if anyone will give me free weed.

[–]ismokeblunts 1 point2 points ago

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hear hear!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]LikesGirls 16 points17 points ago

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Because then he might enjoy sex and get involved with girls, and his parents can't have their little baby growing up.

[–]lovemyfakeboobs 4 points5 points ago

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<3 the username

[–]KellyTheFreak 1 point2 points ago

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Didn't you hear? If you watch porn you're a misogynist.

[–]MrDePinna 39 points40 points ago

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Better than smoking porn and watching pot, that's for sure.

[–]HeavyTank 8 points9 points ago

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Roll up a joint with a Hustler. Then you can have both :)

[–]pmacntrees 3 points4 points ago

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Only once.

[–]vitalAscension 17 points18 points ago

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I would not deny the young man a high five.

[–]zajrik 7 points8 points ago

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A high five. The highest of fives.

[–]principe_di_reddit 11 points12 points ago

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PAHAHAHAHAHA....I would have been out there still if this was the punishment I got as a kid for doing that!!

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]0rbitaldonkey 52 points53 points ago

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I do too, mostly because I've only heard disapproving parents use the word "pot". It's like ents call it "weed" and parents call it "pot".

[–]HamiDro 65 points66 points ago

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It's not as bad as calling it "dope".

[–]ktosk 24 points25 points ago

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yeah my dad calls it that. ever since he caught me with weed hes called weed 'dope'. He's so ignorant.

[–][deleted] 45 points46 points ago

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He's right though. Weed is just a bad of a drug as heroin. You can get AIDS from sharing marijuana needles too.

[–]ktosk 10 points11 points ago

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Yeah... when i get hyped up on pot, i just... i just wanna kill people, and i start hating the world.
Wait... ew. You do weed through needles? You're a pig! You gotta snort that shit.

[–]Robstaley 3 points4 points ago

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yall are som weak shit, you gotta put that dope in a spoon an heat dat shit it up an huff dem fumes! WANNA GET ILLLL SON!

[–]ktosk 6 points7 points ago

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sometimes i even soak my dope in tampons and stick them up my ass. 10X the high, 10X as fast.
reference

[–]brebnahbrau 3 points4 points ago

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soak my dope in tampons

ಠ_ಠ

[–]jolypa 1 point2 points ago

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Crack a light bulb and light up the stove, brother. It's wild.

[–]466453 3 points4 points ago

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Hey, me too.

[–]KingDank420 2 points3 points ago

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Just a quick aside...is it me or does that kid look like hes loving every second of this?

[–]buccie 5 points6 points ago

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It's cuz he's probably high.

[–]superatheist95 1 point2 points ago

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The sign hides his erection.

[–]Fluffy_Fsh 2 points3 points ago

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It's just as common a term for weed as weed here in New Zealand, and no-one would associate it with heroin. Guess it depends on where you are.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]skitztobotch 9 points10 points ago

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Calling it dope reminds me of Trailer Park Boys.

[–]Wrxed 2 points3 points ago

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I love calling it dope, but if I had to pick one term we could all go without it'd be "buddha"

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points ago

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[–][deleted] 11 points12 points ago

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Unless that odd container is full of pot, I'm afraid I don't get it.

[–]khfreek 14 points15 points ago

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...that's a pot, man

[–][deleted] 12 points13 points ago

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Oh I get it, it's made of pot. Thanks!

[–]Frank769 10 points11 points ago

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Yeah... its pottery (made of pot)

[–]agrassman 11 points12 points ago

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it's funny, I was thinking about this exact thing today. You start calling it pot thinking you're cool, then you chill and call it weed, then the chill hits 88 Mph and you begin the dank stage and that's where I am

[–]HamiDro 1 point2 points ago

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"You're a Potter, Harry!"

[–]JayeBird 4 points5 points ago

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My parents do not disapprove of marijuana, but use the word "pot" because that's what they said when they were teenagers.

[–]noctrnalsymphony 2 points3 points ago

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Weed reminds me of manual labor I was forced to do as a child. I call it pot. My parents WERE ents, and they called it pot.

[–]chase_demoss 1 point2 points ago

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I remember some of my friend's parents calling it "dope". Made me cringe.

[–]noctrnalsymphony 1 point2 points ago

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[–]AndyYankee17 1 point2 points ago

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I thought you were talking about this folk hero

[–]MSuSbro 1 point2 points ago

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HAHAAHHAA. THIS!

Growing up my paw paw always told us never to smoke pot, don't get caught up smoking pot, it'll ruin your life. Weellllllll todayyy, I just don't call it that. Glad to know others feel this way too!

[–]amyfarrahfowlerphd 0 points1 point ago

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I think it's a generational thing.

Pot is what my brother (18 years older than myself) and parents call it, when I was in high school we called it bud, and now weed is the parlance of the times.

[–]thecoolkid 1 point2 points ago

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Im a junior in highschool, we say bud.

[–]Cancerous86 17 points18 points ago

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I hate it when old people call it "dope".

"Dope" is heroin to me and I won't get near that shit.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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But Ricky calls it "dope" so it's acceptable in that context.

[–]AskingVikas 2 points3 points ago

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Look at my post. You're not alone.

[–]lechonga 2 points3 points ago

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Do you hate slang for cannabis in general?

[–]Livipedia 2 points3 points ago

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I actually hate the term "Marijuana" too, due to its early widespread use in propaganda and racism-- I feel it is not a word that encourages people to feel comfortable with the substance. I call it cannabis. :|

[–]fresh38 1 point2 points ago

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More people need to do the same.

[–]thechapattack 1 point2 points ago

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ahh I call it pot sometimes but I don't use it in a bad way. Sometimes Icall it herb but mostly I just say pot.

[–]arg0818 1 point2 points ago

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i used to HATE the word 'pot', mainly because that it's the word of choice for people who talk down to or about smokers. but now that i am a little older and not as self-conscious about my decisions, i have kind of embraced the term and now use it somewhat ironically. "Lets hang out and smoke some pot". on the other hand, i cant stand it when people say "lets go get high". its just sounds... dirty.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]infromation 1 point2 points ago

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i despise the term marijuana for it as it was a derogatory term to describe its mexican roots. i like the term cannibas.

[–]fresh38 1 point2 points ago

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We need to shift to using the term cannabis. Thank you for staying infromed.

[–]mogaly 1 point2 points ago

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I like saying "pat".

[–]highas_akite 3 points4 points ago

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Not as bad as I despise the word "ent" as a term for marijuana users.

[–]opinjonated 5 points6 points ago

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What is it that bothers you about it?

You must have a negative connotation with either the Ent race or cannabis connoisseurs.

[–]platypuspracticus 10 points11 points ago

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Ent

Tree-creature in Lord of the Rings. Ents are tall, slow and patient creatures which live in the forest of Fangorn and exist to protect the trees from harm.

Not that bad of a term, I think.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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I'm also curious why? I'm usually not a fan of kitchy pet names but "ent" has grown on me quite well.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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You must tell us why, we are curious!

[–]CalmSpider 1 point2 points ago

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I thought ent was a term for the users on this subreddit.

[–]JesusHadALittleLamb 0 points1 point ago

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No, but I also despise calling it marijuana.

[–]lurkerfrombeyond 0 points1 point ago

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I call it a variety of names depending on who I am hanging out with. If I am with white people I call it reefer; with my Marine buddies I call it dope; if I am with someone from UnderPayedSlaves I say getting Blazed or Sparking up; and if I am with my housemate or drinking buddies I call it weed. I really don't care what people call it as long as it gets me nice and toasted.

[–]viggen6889 0 points1 point ago

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I fucking hate that, my g/f calls it "pot" and I wanna scream when she says it

[–]DirtyPresley 9 points10 points ago

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did they make him wear those gaudy sandals too?

[–]mfshake 8 points9 points ago

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i would have stopped by and rolled him up a jay to smoke while he stood there

[–]Deli1181 7 points8 points ago

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his punishment was to become the most popular kid at school??

[–]hankthetank45 5 points6 points ago

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Don't you dare stop. Don't you DARE.

[–]CndConnection 11 points12 points ago

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Man all you guys cringe at the term pot and dope...

my friend's mom called it "whacky tobacky" now if that doesn't make you cringe I dont know what will.

[–]adelmanz 4 points5 points ago

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Is the crime watching porn and smoking weed at the same time? Are they ok if kept separate? Similar to drinking and driving?

[–]formerteenager 8 points9 points ago

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Listen up my fellow ent. I am at approximately [4] right now and I want to teach you something that you can carry with you for the rest of your life. "Separate" is...wait...I thought you spelled separate wrong, but as it turns our you were right and I am a moron. Carry on.

[–]adelmanz 1 point2 points ago

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hahah that legitly made me laugh out loud. And for what its worth, I originally spelled separate wrong but was corrected by my macbook.

[–]DasBoots 3 points4 points ago

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Honestly that's a pretty awesome punishment

[–]super-rad 17 points18 points ago

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my cousin got busted for porn, and my aunt made him watch the porn with my mom and describe it to her.

I think I would've killed myself

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points ago

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I think your aunt just has some weird fetish...

[–]DasBoots 6 points7 points ago

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Now THATS awkward

[–]mavriksfan11 5 points6 points ago

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See! You don't need to hit your kids to scar them for life!

[–]super-rad 2 points3 points ago

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Just remembered not only is he on reddit, but he's an ent as well. I hope he sees this

[–]feeish 3 points4 points ago

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I will shake his had and stand by him in solidarity (and pass him a joint when no one's looking)

[–]ano414 7 points8 points ago

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I will not shake his hand since I know where it just was

[–]Shnazzyone 3 points4 points ago

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Look at that smug look on his face, he's learning nothing.

[–]elkrause 3 points4 points ago

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repost...

[–]AmatureHour 2 points3 points ago

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He should just get lit right there.

[–]xo_rawr_ox 2 points3 points ago

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I would definitely give that kid a high five.

[–]andy1811 2 points3 points ago

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this is old.

[–]Claytonanator 2 points3 points ago

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I would love to watch porn with you, my fellow ent! :D

[–]sturgepv 2 points3 points ago

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On the back of the sign it says, "Baller Status"

[–]ExplainEverything 2 points3 points ago

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Look at the way he's holding it with his hands open, to me it looks fake, but idk it seems irrational that he would put that on a sign and smile to camera.

[–]sambo_treez 1 point2 points ago

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He's got balls =]

[–]leftrightstart 1 point2 points ago

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Good Work. Next time be more careful.

[–]Chances 1 point2 points ago

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Hahahahaha *Knucks

[–]germican 1 point2 points ago

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And this has stopped nothing

[–]Colorado222 1 point2 points ago

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He looks pretty proud

[–]ogkay 1 point2 points ago

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Haha he looks like a boss

[–]jjsreddit 1 point2 points ago

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lol...I know two different people, one of them is my cousin, who got punished for something really trivial. Their punishment? get buttnaked and kneel on the ground while raising their hands outside the house/apartment (in S.Korea). For the whole damn night.

[–]dobthe1st 1 point2 points ago

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that grin is the grin of a man with no regrets

[–]Ragnalypse 1 point2 points ago

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Last resort for finding a dealer?

[–]mavriksfan11 1 point2 points ago

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"I learned it from you, Dad!"

[–]omgitsjonnn 1 point2 points ago

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his smile says it all

[–]0mega9401 1 point2 points ago

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lols they dont realize they just made him like sooo many new connects

[–]cunningMan333 1 point2 points ago

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My dad told me the time his dad found a pack a cigarettes so he made my dad smoke everyone in the pack while he watched. Then my dad said, "I'm just thankful he didn't have the same punishment for me when he caught me masturbating." I was weirded out but thought it was funny at the same time.

[–]FreshlySquozen 1 point2 points ago

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Hell of a lot better than "You're going to sit there and finish that whole bag and bottle and internet!"

[–]the_troll_dad 1 point2 points ago

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wow it's repost downvote day :(

[–]robopanda9k 1 point2 points ago

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Two things that affected no one but himself. Also two of my favorite things. Next bowls for you kid.

[–]TheMonka 1 point2 points ago

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That's a no regrets face if I ever saw one....

[–]PCBen 0 points1 point ago

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Seriously? That's it? That's the easiest punishment ever - I would take that in stride!

[–]peateargryffon 0 points1 point ago

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happens to the best of us frient lol

[–]Gothbot6k 0 points1 point ago

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Good on him!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Remember

Fap it or don't smoke trees Or.. Fap before? Don't fap on trees I guess I dunno. [?<6]

[–]hay4bay 0 points1 point ago

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yea really, this kid seems like a BOSS

[–]StefanHectorPoseidon 0 points1 point ago

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that champ has nothing to be ashamed about and he knows it.

[–]johnnygoette 0 points1 point ago

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I thought his punishment was having to wear those sandals

[–]marchingprinter 0 points1 point ago

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Well, you WERE created in God's image...

[–]Tanjiro 0 points1 point ago

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Maybe he will get the phone number of some nice dealers while he's out there and his time spent holding the sign will not have been for nothing.

[–]wildpeaches 0 points1 point ago

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So, instead of a sex positive, open minded kid these parents have chosen to follow that age old puritanical path of self shame. Gotcha.

[–]AkBlind 0 points1 point ago

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You threw him a bag and some Kleenex right?

[–]AMostOriginalUserNam 0 points1 point ago

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Looks kinda like Moot.

[–]catchthe22 0 points1 point ago

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Big fan of the first two things he did. Not so much that third thing. Nope.

[–]Doink11 0 points1 point ago

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Look at that smug motherfucker. He's probably gotten as many cheers and high-fives as he's gotten disapproval from passers-by. Fuck, I'd give him props just for giving that few fucks.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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That kid now has even more stoner friends.

[–]tyler2009 0 points1 point ago

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this is would have just became my next best friend if he had a b in his mouth hahaha

[–]fuckbitchesgetmoney1 0 points1 point ago

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lol

[–]joeydaioh 0 points1 point ago

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It's the sandals, right? That's his punishment?

[–]cannabist 0 points1 point ago

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Sounds like a good night.

[–]maxlgold25 0 points1 point ago

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I would pay him minimum wage to do that all day

[–]cheech712 0 points1 point ago

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Poor kid? Looks like he is advertising for friends with similar interest. I'd be friends

[–]SouthFresh 0 points1 point ago

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Thank you for the extra cool-points mom.

[–]WoefulKnight 0 points1 point ago

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You don't see the other half of the sign that says "and my punishment is to stand on the side of the road to show everyone how awesome I am."

[–]rtaylo 0 points1 point ago

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I think it's shopped. Look around the word "smoke"

[–]bongodrongo 0 points1 point ago

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when i was that old i told my parents i smoked weed for my first time. they flipped shit and grounded me for 6 months and made me stay home while they went out thinking they won... i smoked every day. at a constant [6] for 6 months. id like to think i won

[–]Pterodacyl 0 points1 point ago

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He may as well be holding a sign that says "I'm the fucking man".

[–]chiefincheeze 0 points1 point ago

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the sandals are killing me

[–]DoctorWhoToYou 0 points1 point ago

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masturbating and.....masturbating and....masturbating and SMOKIN' THE GANJA!

[–]FatGirlWantsCake 0 points1 point ago

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And on his back is the followup poster about run on sentences.

[–]ArmenianMadeReddit 0 points1 point ago

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Winning (Charlie s. voice)

[–]Robstaley 0 points1 point ago

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dat smirk...

[–]suddenlypenis 0 points1 point ago

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I love how being a reddit hero requires either a PhD in physics or a fondness for trees and porn.

[–]CaptCon 0 points1 point ago

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Like. A. Boss.

[–]bloopy4 0 points1 point ago

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ahh reminds me of me mum.

[–]jolypa 0 points1 point ago

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I'd honk, wave, and shout "I love porn!" Because, honestly, mom and dad are hypocrites.

[–]-Paste22 0 points1 point ago

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That face...priceless.

[–]805unknown 0 points1 point ago

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If that were me, I'd be out there every week!

[–]Flickstah 0 points1 point ago

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What a bau5!

[–]screaming4metal 0 points1 point ago

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I don't even smoke and I'd be waving that sign proudly.

[–]kosure 0 points1 point ago

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No parent should make their child wear tevas.

[–]forevertrombone 0 points1 point ago

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[–]Seiikey 0 points1 point ago

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I already saw this picture ... and already downloaded it ... ಠ_ಠ MAKE YOUR OWN PICTURE KARMAWHORE!

[–]chiefrecklefoot 0 points1 point ago

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Oh little punkin! And he doesn't even wear socks with his sandals. Uptoke for you!

[–]premium_blendz 0 points1 point ago

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i'd be the guy driving by laughing my head off with the windows down

[–]hb_alien 0 points1 point ago

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I'd be proud to wear that.

[–]AH64 0 points1 point ago

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If this is your first time seeing this, welcome to the internet.

[–]Rastachronic 0 points1 point ago

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"I had a normal day for a teenager, and this is my punishment" He looks pretty damn proud of himself.

[–]mindfields51 0 points1 point ago

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He's owning that sign like a boss.

[–]knightofmars 0 points1 point ago

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Why do either of those things warrant a punishment anyways, silly parents.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Ubericious 0 points1 point ago

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Fucking Legend

[–]randies 0 points1 point ago

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I wish to existence that I had a picture like that to show the grandkids.

[–]shitterplug 0 points1 point ago

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That'll teach him to get caught...

[–]lennytime 0 points1 point ago

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upvote for the kids face. that's pride right there

[–]torbecire 0 points1 point ago

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My friends mum punished him by watching the porn with him. Enjoy the sun kid.

[–]jspliff1 0 points1 point ago

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he seems happy