Every time I talk about wine

Vile2539 · 8 months

Bernard: Old wine... is good wine...

Manny: Yes... but expensive wine is good wine also.

Bernard: But the older the wine... the gooder it is.

Manny: Yes... but by the same token, the more expensive the wine... the gooder it is also.

[deleted] · 8 months

i prefer a nice bottle of ten dollar pretend fancy wine. it gets me drunk.

Fictitious_Pulp · 8 months

I work at a winery and do the same thing. I just make up flavors.

Nobody notices.

Harutinator · 8 months

This one has an oakey afterbirth

-Michael Scott

thisismatteh · 8 months

Protip - Scan the back of the bottle before consuming. Usually they have descriptors for what the wine is 'perceived' to taste like.

"Yeah this bottle is pretty good, it has a nice blackberry nose with a surprising blueberry finish."

Careful, this has been known to make friends ask for more recommendations.

But in all seriousness if someone tells you there's a blueberry taste to a particular wine, chances are you'll spend your entire glass looking for it, and agree anyways to prevent yourself from seeming like an 'noobzor' with an unrefined pallet.

Porjin · 8 months

This should be posted in r/adviceanimals (as stated to the right).

Durzo_Blint · 8 months

http://comedians.jokes.com/danny-bhoy/videos/danny-bhoy---alcohol-reminiscence

Armadillo19 · 8 months

I knew literally nothing about wine, and then I got a job at a wine store...while a lot of it sounds very pretentious, and some of it is, some of it is actually pretty cool. I am no wine connoisseur by any means, but a few VERY basic things to keep in mind...

1.) White wine generally goes in the fridge, red doesn't...

2.) Red wine is red because when made, the stems/skins are kept on, whereas with white wine they're removed (at various times, depending on the type of wine). The reason red wines are generally more bitter is because tannins are found in the skins.

3.) When something says "nodes of clover", or some shit like that, it is COMPLETELY subjective, and basically doesn't mean anything...there is no clover in the wine, what might be described as clover could taste like peaches to you. The way I had it described is "people with degrees in creative writing that couldn't find other work become wine descriptors".

BigForShort · 8 months

I've worked at a tasting bar for a winery since August.

Most people I met out there are exactly the same!

rawbamatic · 8 months

I like Merlot. That is all I know about wine.

davidj911 · 8 months

The hardest part about wine tasting is describing the flavors, everyone can taste the differences in wine

nipuL · 8 months

Charlie the Wonder Dog?

climbtree · 8 months

The trick to talking wine and having others respect your opinions on it, is to let them drink more than you.

foofdawg · 8 months

Don't worry, most of the talk about wine is bullshit, and just makes people feel important or part of a special group.

Here's an article from Wired: http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/04/should-we-buy-expensive-wine/

It was also covered on a Radiolab episode that was very entertaining, but I can't find the correct episode at the moment.

burke_no_sleeps · 8 months

It's under my bed

It's never been read

It's in with my school stuff and my mom never cleans there

From my first little fib

When I still wore a bib

To my latest attempt at pretending I'm someone

Who's not seventeen

And doesn't know what you mean

When talk turns to single malts or Stilton or my

Shoebox.. Shoebox of Lies

polyrhythmic · 8 months

Wine isn't about how much you know. Does it taste good and do you enjoy it? That's what matters. Drink on!

iroe · 8 months

Basically me at work...

serpentjaguar · 8 months

I grew up in one of the world's premiere wine producing regions and while I'm still pretty ignorant about it, I do know this; when you have a really good bottle of wine, you won't have to pretend. It will be obvious that it's good and in the end, that's all you really need to know.

astamar · 8 months

Like other people said, wine is all about your own personal taste.

washington__irving · 8 months

There's a good video called "Wine for the Confused" narrated by John Cleese. It has decent information and the narration keeps it blithe and easy to watch.

Hulu, unfortunately, doesn't have it anymore, but Google tells me Netflix does. Here's a youtube clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TiBWHHqK7W8

[deleted] · 8 months

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeyqS9BDPds

alexgbelov · 8 months

Mmmh, takes just like crushed grapes.

themikebrown · 8 months

I work in a liquor store. I feel the same way.

eddaedda · 8 months

Ha! I wait tables and people always ask me about different wines. I never know what I'm talking about. If I don't have time to bullshit with them I just tell them I'm more of a beer and whiskey type of guy. It works out.

TheDoomSheep · 8 months

Neither do the professionals.

TheLiberalSoup · 8 months

Well, I'm the second overall comment... damnit, I'm trying to take advantage of this because I know it will be on the front page soon! WHY CAN'T I THINK OF SOMETHING FUNNY!

gder · 8 months

It's not that hard to learn, tasting is a completely subjective thing anyway unless you've trained your palette.

Just keep trying wines until you get a feel for what you like. Every time you try a wine make a conscious effort to determine what it is about the wine that you like and you don't like.

After a while you'll get a feeling for what you like and start to recognize the different grape varieties.

spankr · 8 months

Torrent "Wine for the Confused" by John Cleese...

funny

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