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top 200 commentsshow all 287

[–]TheDood715 62 points63 points ago

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Chicken nuggest is like my family, they're oddly shaped and you can find them all at mcdonalds.

[–]Dyscal-Culia 148 points149 points ago

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[–]nikkip00t 121 points122 points ago

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You know, as incorrigible as that child is, he's very verbally precocious for a 7-year-old.

[–]troll-up 41 points42 points ago

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I thought so myself. He certainly has a way with words.

[–]DrAwesomeClaws 67 points68 points ago

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Yeah, he's a little shit but seems obviously very intelligent. I think that's why his parent's might have so much trouble controlling him. He wins arguments.

I'd join him on "Team Fun" for sure.

[–]SpruceCaboose 21 points22 points ago

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Yeah, but at 3:30 in that video he hangs himself when he says "She thinks she is a smart little girl, that she can do whatever she wants. No! That's not how she can do it in our family."

Change "family" to "world", and what he says would apply directly to himself. Fun is great, but with no sense of responsibility or doing things that need to be done that aren't necessarily "fun", he won't go very far in life, since the first hard or undesirable thing that confronts him, he will just shut down.

[–]DrAwesomeClaws 6 points7 points ago

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I agree, and not arguing that it's a "good" thing or anything. Just that his parents are probably a bit out-gunned at times.

[–]Propaganda_Box 10 points11 points ago

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i can see how for his age he has an intelligence about him, but with his level of intolerance to almost everything except fatty foods and destruction, once this kid reaches 17 he wont seem so "Intelligent" anymore

[–]esoterrorcat 6 points7 points ago

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i'd deep fry him and drag him behind my derby car.

[–]alsorobots 0 points1 point ago

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Give that kid to Karl Rove and by age 35, you're looking at the future Prezdent of the YUUUnited States.

[–][deleted] 88 points89 points ago

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Eric Cartman

[–]Vdra 11 points12 points ago

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"Screw you guys...I'm going...to grammas home"

[–]TheRealBuzzLightyear 34 points35 points ago

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"I haven't bought as many cars as your ring costed."

Best quote didn't even come from the kid.

[–]ChoadFarmer 24 points25 points ago

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I was expecting that kid to start dropping some N bombs

[–]Adelaidey 2 points3 points ago

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Or the father, for that matter.

[–]nachomuchacho69 151 points152 points ago

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Oh lord, i wanna roundhouse-kick that kid to mars!

[–]tallwill514 83 points84 points ago

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First human lands on mars, was kicked there.

[–]super_dave_cares 45 points46 points ago

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when he came back, he wanted more chicken nuggets

[–]ZOMGBananas 12 points13 points ago

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More like he was sent back after the Martian natives offered him some food, and he stubbornly refused while demanding chicken nuggets.

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points ago*

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"I don't WANT to eat dadgum Martian kale. You mus' be bein' sarcastic. Don' you have any Space Nuggets?! Screw you, Martians, an' your high heels. I'm goin' back into stasis an' goin' home!"

[–]Killbunny90210 6 points7 points ago

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he wanted more cheeckin' nuggets

[–]tlkuvic 49 points50 points ago

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I would have no problem punching this particular 7-year-old. Will he ever regret this in high school, assuming that he doesn't have a heart attack before then.

[–]seeasea 54 points55 points ago

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Its not the kid's fault.

Blame the parents. No kid turns out like that on their own, the parents in that clip even admit that this is what they did. They not only allowed it, they encouraged it.

[–]yowhatupmayne 11 points12 points ago

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Yeah, when the dad refuses to hit the piles of food with a bat you can see where Curtis gets it.

[–]for_the_shiggles 16 points17 points ago

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Yes, the parents are to blame. But if someone asked me to beat a box of my food with a bat in my backyard, I would most likely tell them to fuck off.

[–]xevoc 0 points1 point ago

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king kurtis*

[–]levitron 2 points3 points ago

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Agree- I'd say that this is a form of child abuse.

[–]ataraxia 1 point2 points ago

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Couldn't upvote you enough.

[–]Patrick_Sutton_2012 13 points14 points ago

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soon - /r/askscience "How hard would you have to kick someone with a roundhouse kick on earth to kick them to mars?"

There is an equation for that btw...

[–]uvarov 16 points17 points ago*

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Back-of-the-envelope and all that, but (after plenty of assumptions and enthusiastic rounding) your foot would have to be moving at about 61,000 mph and would impart ~5.5 GJ of energy. Not that it's at all feasible on any level, of course.

As an absurd comparison, this is equivalent to a schoolbus moving at 2100 mph or the Eiffel Tower moving at 80 mph, but still only enough energy to lift the Titanic (pre-sinking) four storeys off the ground.

[–]Randy_Tutelage 3 points4 points ago

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So... you are saying it is still possible.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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It's not really possible because the force would probably be enough to rip apart/into your body, hence imparting only a part of the total kinetic energy.

[–]TheOnlyNeb 2 points3 points ago

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Worth a try.

[–]Charlievil 1 point2 points ago

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So you're saying we'd need some sort of armour to protect us, and then we just have to use the eiffel tower as a baseball bat. TO THE SCIENCE MOBILE!

[–]DownvoteAttractor 10 points11 points ago

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There's something really cool about this kid. I would love to hang around with this kid for about 3 hours, then hand the little shit back to the parents.

[–]qizarate 3 points4 points ago

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You're a dick.

You should be roundhouse kicking his fucktard parents.

[–]nuclear_cheese 0 points1 point ago

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You may have solved Nasa's budget problems.

[–]clocks52 35 points36 points ago

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[–][deleted] 33 points34 points ago

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Ten years later

Fixed

[–]StickyToffee 9 points10 points ago

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That's an impressive moustache for a 17 year old.

[–]lolrsk8s 55 points56 points ago

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When you reach this point you should really just kill the kid and re-roll. There's really no hope for him since he's so badly fucked up.

[–]r1y23 24 points25 points ago

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"Oh fuck..well lets just delete that last save and hope for a mage next time."

[–]Farabee 6 points7 points ago

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Seriously, the kid doesn't even have a level 20 mount yet. Delete that bitch and this time don't take flight paths everywhere and spam Well Fed buff.

[–]foxhaunt 1 point2 points ago

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This kid holds power, I can sense it. He just needs more crafting and grooming.

[–]CitizenKang 16 points17 points ago

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"If we could find a way to fry a salad, we may try."

Classic

[–]SpruceCaboose 2 points3 points ago

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If you can fry ice cream, Kool-Aid, and candy bars, I would imagine you could find some way to do it.

Ninja edit: They did in Texas

[–]BDS_UHS 12 points13 points ago

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I have to admit this kid is pretty clever for a seven year old.

[–]Osmodius 9 points10 points ago

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Holy fuck. I would murder that bitch of a child.

[–]vader101 3 points4 points ago

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C'mon. That kid is more entertaining than most adults and he is about 7. With any kind of direction, this kid will be a success.

[–]Humpa 4 points5 points ago

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I'm honestly impressed by his ability to, well, talk and reason. And that Joy lady, she didn't even try to reason. Never explained "why", just "what". Of course, the why should be obvious, but still.

[–]Jazzbandrew 16 points17 points ago

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I can't believe people like that exist. Does anyone have an update on the kid?

[–]pragmatick 9 points10 points ago

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As much of an asshole that kid may be, I find him hilarious. And that bitch Joyce could at least give the food to charity instead of destroying it as an empty gesture that nobody got.

[–]Wildtails 0 points1 point ago

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Don't you know how TV works? You have to break stuff to make an impact on the VIEWERS!

[–]gadget3000 10 points11 points ago

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Oh America, you do make me laugh.

[–]dirtei 8 points9 points ago

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pffft, you probably don't even have a king

[–]Jill4ChrisRed 1 point2 points ago

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not in our household D:

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points ago

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This is such a stereotype. It's really unbelievable.

[–]SpruceCaboose 11 points12 points ago

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Just remember, for (nearly) every stereotype that exists, there were enough people close enough to that stereotype for it to start somewhere...

[–]warriorspapasmurf 1 point2 points ago

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Giving a bad name to us North Carolinians. These fools shall die by my hand.

[–]NPHisnotgay 1 point2 points ago

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brought to you by ABC

[–]spellbunny 1 point2 points ago

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ugh what a spoiled brat..

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]Zeppelanoid 1 point2 points ago

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Man, I only made it to barely past a minute on that video. The combination of the horrible accents, the horrawful parents, and the most annoying, punch-in-the-face worthy little cunt on this planet was too much for me.

WHO THE FUCK FEEDS THEIR CHILD CHICKEN NUGGETS FOR BREAKFAST?

[–]daninacan 1 point2 points ago

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Oh man this has made me get KFC for lunch :((

[–]nononao 0 points1 point ago

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I should have guessed it was that little bastard...

[–]Lost_in_the_woods 0 points1 point ago

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You ever think how hard it must be for the crew to film things like this?

[–]Blockgen 0 points1 point ago

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Now i wana watch the whole thing :p

[–]anovwhiskey 0 points1 point ago

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Reminds me of a young Ron Swanson... bacon is good for me.

[–]teyegurspoon 121 points122 points ago

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well. Those parents failed.

[–]X-Craft 64 points65 points ago

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Don't worry... he ate them already...

[–]Errday_Im_Hylian 15 points16 points ago

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The chicken nuggets are his family now.

[–]Scipion 7 points8 points ago

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The chicken nuggets is his family now.

FTFY.

[–]summerspice00 12 points13 points ago

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Yup. And it's too bad they won't realize that until their little King Curtis has a fatal heart attack. :(

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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I think, in a way, they already know they completely failed. In the depths of their hearts, they know "We should've done it all differently, but we can't do anything about it now."

[–]ravinganimal 2 points3 points ago

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I kinda liked King Curtis. He had good communication skills, and... other positive attributes. His sister seemed to be open to changing her lifestyle, and adopting better eating habits. So I don't think that the parents are complete failures.

[–]biderz5 28 points29 points ago

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Isn't this the bacon kid?

[–]seancarter 14 points15 points ago

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He must be on a keto diet.

[–]Shannonigans 1 point2 points ago

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There's carbs in the nugget crust.

[–]seancarter 1 point2 points ago

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But not in the bacon and that's good for him.

[–]Physics101 5 points6 points ago

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Yup.

[–]ColonicIrritation 50 points51 points ago*

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Oh man that episode. On the one hand you have the ignorant rednecks that are happy with their relatively poor quality of life and diet, and on the other is a judgmental overly-strict woman that has their best interest at heart but enforces change too hard. If both parties were able to compromise and be a little flexible it might have gone smoothly.

I like how the parents talk about how demanding their child is when they molded him that way.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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I kind of thought the same way. It's a bit much to say that all junk food is destroying your life and you will die if you eat any of it. That's pretty absurd. The amount of chicken nuggets that kid eats can't possibly be healthy, though.

[–]MikeOfAllPeople 1 point2 points ago

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One man's nurturing is another man's spoiling. Parenting isn't all that easy.

[–]ColonicIrritation 5 points6 points ago

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Giving your kid everything he asks for, caving in every time they complain and generally telling them they're a special snowflake that deserves the world is way beyond nurturing. A successful way to get a kid to eat vegetables would be to tell them they can't have nuggets til they've finished the vegetables. If they refuse then they don't eat until their appetite is stronger than their stubbornness.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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You just have to refuse to feed them until they realize you're serious. Doesn't take very long and they didn't even get malnourished. Well, not in every situation, just when they completely refused to eat anything YOU give them.

[–]ChastityPanda 21 points22 points ago

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[–]carpe_noctem_vitea 51 points52 points ago

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a few hours at his Grandma's house eating chicken nuggets. i lost it.

[–]teyegurspoon 1 point2 points ago

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brilliant

[–]Farabee 5 points6 points ago

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AH DON'T CAY-YURE

[–]bananaswild 8 points9 points ago

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I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[–]Contra1 60 points61 points ago

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It's Cartman IRL!

[–]clusterfrak 11 points12 points ago

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Well to be fair his mom is battered.

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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That kid is actually very articulate for being seven...

[–]InGordWeTrust 11 points12 points ago

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Wrong. The kid is using a simile. You are claiming it is a metaphor.

[–]razzark666 1 point2 points ago

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Don't you know what a metaphor is?

[–]oh__fuck 0 points1 point ago

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... a simile is a metaphor.

[–]pepheb 18 points19 points ago

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Whoah guys! These are chicken filets, not chicken nuggets... unless chicken nuggets are of that size in the U.S.... ಠ_ಠ

[–]r1y23 14 points15 points ago

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Chicken nuggets are that size in the US. THESE COLORS DONT RUN!...unless its to the store to by chicken nuggets for our overlord children.

[–]UltraJake 2 points3 points ago

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Chicken nuggets are usually much smaller, but "chicken nuggets" is probably more recognizable than "chicken filets."

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points ago

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There's also the grey territory of "chicken fingers," and "chicken tenders."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Chicken fillets are big enough to fit one fillet between two pieces of standard bread to make a sandwich. 2-4 nuggets is about the size of one fillet, depending on size.

[–]glasstablechair 10 points11 points ago

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I could go for some chicken nuggets right now.

[–]dalco 27 points28 points ago

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nothing wrong with that logic.

[–]SHSzilla 11 points12 points ago

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I eat my family all the time!

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points ago

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I eat your mom and sister all the time too.

[–]SHSzilla 2 points3 points ago

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They're so sweet, aren't they?

[–]dylansavage 3 points4 points ago

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Like poptarts!

[–]orange_jooze 0 points1 point ago

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Well, your mum rang about going out tonight, then Liz rang about the two of you eating out tonight, and then your mum rang back to see if I wanted to eat her out tonight.

[–]troll-up 0 points1 point ago

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I eat my family all the time....Tastes like chicken.

[–]Stall0ne 5 points6 points ago

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Chicken nuggets is like my family. Fat.

[–]Blowjo 8 points9 points ago

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[–]OxygenAddict 3 points4 points ago

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Chicken nuggets is people!

[–]slayer8a 2 points3 points ago

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Soylent Green is chicken nuggets.

[–]originaljonty 10 points11 points ago

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France is bacon

[–]welcometaerf 24 points25 points ago

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Future republican strategist.

[–]A_WILD_ABRA_APPEARED 9 points10 points ago

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If he manages to live past 20.

[–]xAbaddon 2 points3 points ago

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Some people shouldn't be allowed to breed, this family is a good example of that. ಠ_ಠ

[–]teyegurspoon 0 points1 point ago

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he was extremely obnoxious and I think he needed to be punched in the mouth. just a little bit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Some people are not like me, lets kill them. Oh wait, that's a little farther than what you're saying.

[–]captainwacky91 5 points6 points ago

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This is why breeding should be a privilege, and not a right.

[–]imaginaryferret 3 points4 points ago

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he eats his family sick fuck

[–]TheStreisandEffect 3 points4 points ago

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I did a remix of this kid. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PRGz9xSP_SA Give it a chance - I swear it'll be worth your time.

[–]denimcouchalex 2 points3 points ago

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That... was beautiful.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points ago

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His dad saying "when it comes to kids, discipline = resentment". Man, those kids are likely going to be upset with him when they're older for that. It's kind of sad.

[–]CantGetRidOfABomb 6 points7 points ago

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Bacon is good fur me!

[–]Captain_Baby 2 points3 points ago

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I don't have a problem with this.

[–]runningformylife 2 points3 points ago

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It makes me want to become a vegetarian if I ever have kids just so they won't be obsessed with chicken nuggets

[–]universl 0 points1 point ago

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Then they will just be obsessed with potato chips.

[–]slayer8a 2 points3 points ago

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Yep, just like family. One day they will give you heart problems, destroy your sense of self-worth, give your room to your convict uncle and sell your rabbit to science............I'm sorry. I miss my rabbit.

[–]FindThisHumerus 2 points3 points ago

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This is unbelievable...

[–]suspicious_glare 2 points3 points ago

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Given that his parents feed him this crap, I think the nuggets would be better guardians.

[–]freddynights 2 points3 points ago

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holy shit thats real life Cartman

[–]lafeeverte17 1 point2 points ago

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[–]fuzzycuffs 1 point2 points ago

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Without seeing the video I already have the exact way he sounds.

[–]remondo 1 point2 points ago

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"Bacon's good for me!"

[–]thatsnotatail 1 point2 points ago

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BACON IS GOOD FOR ME!

[–]xLederhosenx 1 point2 points ago

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I was expecting a black joke

[–]excavator12 1 point2 points ago

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And diabetes is like your uncle.

[–]bjb39 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Panina 1 point2 points ago

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OHMYGOD! He eats his family!?

[–]Kuuy123 1 point2 points ago

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No no no, i think he ment chicken nuggets > family

[–]Flexmeister 1 point2 points ago

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Later in school.

"If you don't give me your lunch money, I'm gonna eat your family."

"Too layt, Ay awreddy deed."

[–]TraySeven 1 point2 points ago

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I don't know who's worse... that kid or the parents who made him that way.

[–]EricFartman 1 point2 points ago

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The whole family is disgusting

[–]daknok 1 point2 points ago

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His parents were chickens?

[–]divinesleeper 1 point2 points ago

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So you lock your family in small cannels and chop off their beak then proceed to fry them after you killed them. I see.

[–]madzanta 1 point2 points ago

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KING CURTIS

[–]CorneliusJack 1 point2 points ago

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Childhood obese Matt Damon.

[–]VelociraptorMaster 1 point2 points ago

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KING CURTIS DOES NOT APPROVE OF YOUR BUFFOONERY.

[–]abdieljustwill 1 point2 points ago

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I just want to falcon punch his mouth.

[–]d510r9 1 point2 points ago

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[–]ADangerousMan 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Okelaye 1 point2 points ago

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She can't run in those little high heel

[–]DadOfWhiteJesus 1 point2 points ago

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KING CURTIS!!

[–]darkroomdoor 1 point2 points ago

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What a badass.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points ago

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This kid is the reason the taliban hates you.

[–]teyegurspoon 0 points1 point ago

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I like your logic. Care to back it up with sources? No?

[–]azzybish 3 points4 points ago

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After watching that i can only sympathise with the family. Sure they have awful meals but they don't know better, and they obviously adore their kids and spend every minute trying to make them happy and having fun. You don't get to be the king of the household by being a dumb shit, i personally think Curtis is a smart kid who won't have the opportunity of a proper education but he doesn't care nor need it - he's just got to know how to build cars and smash them up.

[–]DeemSleep 1 point2 points ago

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Are you sure he doesn't need it? I think he does.

[–]Nerdcubed 1 point2 points ago

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[–]Wulfnuts 1 point2 points ago

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going to go ahead and guess ... that kids American

[–]SinisterRectus 1 point2 points ago

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That bitch threw out their bacon.

[–]SPAAACE 0 points1 point ago

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oh THAT'S where that quote comes from

[–]Deputy101 0 points1 point ago

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After watching that, I don't wanna live on this planet anymore...

[–]EvOllj 0 points1 point ago

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.. you never know who made it or whats in it.

[–]timeintheocean 0 points1 point ago

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Really sad.

[–]Tron-Gorf 0 points1 point ago

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High blood pressure, obesity and diabetes is like his future.

[–]Sitaxx 0 points1 point ago

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He is Dead... -.-

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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[–]poobahlette 0 points1 point ago

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[–]whocaresanyway 0 points1 point ago

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But I thought Bacon is good for him?

[–]rataxes11 0 points1 point ago

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Dey dook hiz chikan nuggits!

[–]staffell 0 points1 point ago

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Cannibal!

[–]imadeamistakee 0 points1 point ago

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is that king kurtis?

[–]troll-up 0 points1 point ago

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I sure do like them chicken nuggets; they is just like family. I like the girl nuggets cuz they can't run fast in those little high heels. I catch em and eat em.

[–]Drawing_Flies 0 points1 point ago

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Walker: I'm ten years old, but I'll beat your ass! Texas Ranger: Chip, I'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

[–]JustMaeby 0 points1 point ago

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Bacon is good for me!

[–]uncdavo32 0 points1 point ago

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i don't CAARE!

[–]hypeful 0 points1 point ago

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Can someone translate "Chicken nuggets is like my family" into Latin and put it on a coat of arms? And then this kid will eat that coat of arms.

[–]nullibicity 0 points1 point ago

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"They were delicious."

[–]velocity010 0 points1 point ago

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he ate those too

[–]roeder 0 points1 point ago

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I'M PACKIN' MA BAGS.

[–]ChickenNuggetz 0 points1 point ago

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What's wrong with chicken nuggets?

[–]mnells 0 points1 point ago

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Can't decide if this is sad... Or that kid has a brilliant home life.

[–]vinni_f 0 points1 point ago

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I hope he'll get smarter when he'll grow up.

[–]Kottfoers 0 points1 point ago

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He likes his family as he likes chicken nuggets.

[–]woahmygawd 0 points1 point ago

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It's shit like THIS America...

[–]sgtpepper_spray 0 points1 point ago

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I think this is my favorite thing ever

[–]Asytra 0 points1 point ago

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Just wait until congress actually classifies them as such.

[–]DoogerZOMG 0 points1 point ago

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Hail to the bacon king baby!

[–]orthag 0 points1 point ago

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Every time he eats a chicken nugget, he should get slapped. Eventually he will associate chicken nuggets with getting slapped and he won't be such a fat little moron.

[–]triel187 0 points1 point ago

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I put all the things in my mouth.

[–]joethedreamer 0 points1 point ago

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"We'd like to thank Joyce for introducing us to fruits.".

[–]skittishjoker 0 points1 point ago

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FIX ME SUM CHICEN NUUUGIIITS

[–]aaroach95 0 points1 point ago

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I go to school with his sister.

[–]sampearl1 0 points1 point ago

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thats the bacon kid isnt it

[–]effingeenyus 0 points1 point ago

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Jesus I can't believe that bitch saying "when will america learn?" and then going to town on perfectly good food with a bat on TV where hungry people can see. Get off your fuckin high horse and give it to a damn food bank, cunt. It may not be healthy but it's a damn sight healthier than starving to death

[–]blender40 0 points1 point ago

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I could really go for some nuggets right now. Too bad this chud of a child is making me feel self conscious. :(

[–]Doovid97 0 points1 point ago

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Chicken nuggets is like my family - I eat them.

[–]Silverswimmer 0 points1 point ago

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IM KING CURTIS