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all 47 comments

[–]jimidybob 19 points20 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

you gotta be kitten me

[–]string97bean 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

Fur real

[–]jimidybob 4 points5 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

purrfect reply

[–]Dunkler[S] 3 points4 points ago

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what a cat astrophe.

[–]r0baj0b 1 point2 points ago

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Oh shit

[–]Goodsirreaper 1 point2 points ago

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I wanna know who did this right meow!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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your brain earned my point. this was real witty..

[–]aliens_300c 5 points6 points ago

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Look at all those unredeemable shit tickets!

[–]toxicFork 1 point2 points ago

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That's why you wipe with your cat.

[–]LOHare 4 points5 points ago

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Also works:

Your evidence - is circumstantial.

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points ago

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Reddit's got a boner for cats now ...

[–]GinNMiskatonics 8 points9 points ago

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I do have a boner, but I was unaware that it was feline related. Thank you good sir.

[–]Dunkler[S] 2 points3 points ago

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I wish I had a boner :(

[–]jimcando 6 points7 points ago

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You can have mine. I won't be needing it anytime soon.

[–]r0baj0b 5 points6 points ago

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Friends, Redditors, Countrymen.....lend me your Boners

[–]toxicFork -1 points0 points ago

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and my axe!

[–]p3ngwin 0 points1 point ago

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pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl pleasebeagirl

[–]WasIRong 0 points1 point ago

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Thought that was only I_RAPE_CATS

[–]BeenADickArnold 0 points1 point ago

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And dogs. I love it.

[–]middlenamejonas 1 point2 points ago

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still usable

[–]svrtngr 1 point2 points ago

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It took me longer than it should have to notice the kitten in the middle of all that.

[–]Retanaru 2 points3 points ago

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Can't use toilet paper off the floor in your own bathroom? /r/firstworldproblems

[–]sunamumaya 1 point2 points ago

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Where you see outtage, I see plenty of toilet paper.

[–]butterisbetter 1 point2 points ago

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No you aren't. There's plenty of toilet paper right there on the floor.

[–]hokiepride 0 points1 point ago

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I have to keep the toilet paper in the cupboard under the sink, else my girlfriends cat will do exactly that. Every time. Within minutes of it being out.

I feel like everytime I get drunk and take a shit, I lose a roll of toilet paper =(.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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i told you GET 2 PLY!

[–]mminor1 0 points1 point ago

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Shit! This reminds me I really am out of toilet paper.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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How do you prevent them from doing this? I have lost countless rolls of toilet paper and paper towels to their fascination with destroying them.

[–]AllegraGeller 1 point2 points ago

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be glad that the destroyers find your sacrifice acceptable and have not yet come for you

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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lol

It's not funny....but they have me trained. I'm more of a dog kinda guy....but these cats have really grown on me.

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago*

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They're Savannahs. They don't fucking listen. I tell them NO and it goes in one ear and out the other. The bigger one is smarter than the smaller one and he gets it.....don't climb on counters, don't fuck with the toilet paper ....when I'm around. When I'm not around, he sneaks behind my back and does as he pleases.

His basic attitude towards me is fuck you, I will do whatever I want. I will also sneak behind your stupid human back and fuck your shit up when I'm angry. That was my attitude when I was a child, so I honestly cannot fault him for being that way. I'm probably subconsciously enabling his bad behavior.

The big one is also HIGHLY vindictive (and that's not good because he is extremely intelligent....as much as any dog I have owned or seen. He understands many English words). He will fuck my shit up, or take a piss or shit somewhere he shouldn't if I piss him off. I need to be very careful around him. I also cannot fault him for this.

He also pisses over my shoes, behind the t.v. and on top of boxes I have in the living room. He has a perfectly clean and good litter box to use. I have tried that "cat calming" collar, the "cat calming" Glade Plugin thingy you plug into the wall. Nothing. One night I was drunk and caught him attempting to squat behind the t.v. and I pulled out my dick and started to piss all over him. He still doesn't get it.

It's very frustrating. But I love them both.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

[–]schwat 1 point2 points ago

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Next step is to gather both your cats in front of the litter box and take the biggest shit you can muster to show them who's the boss.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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SHIT FUCKING YES!!!

These cats will learn that I am the top dog in this house. The big guy is the problem. He has a bad attitude and is not sociable. The little guy (who is less purebred) is a total lover. Greatest cat in the world......although he's not too bright, he makes it up by being a sweet kitty that has nothing but love for anyone.

The bigger guy.....I'm starting to think he's watching me and waiting for the perfect opportunity to trip me as I'm coming down the stairs.

[–]OleDaneBoy 0 points1 point ago

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Toilet paper unrolling must just feel insanely good to those little hairy fuckers

[–]Zap-Brannigan 0 points1 point ago

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I made a blanket

.

Is that bad?

[–]halfabean 0 points1 point ago

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My dog does this all the time, usually when he needs to go out to crap oddly enough.

[–]JoeChieftw 0 points1 point ago

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Whenever I read "ur," I hear it as URRRRRR DURRRRRRR URRRRR

[–]Farn 0 points1 point ago

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Long story short... is a phrase whose origins are tired and rambling

[–]nick_knack 0 points1 point ago

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Lolcats? Fuck off.

[–]belleayreski 0 points1 point ago

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why? because fuck you thats why

[–]Funnyguy17 0 points1 point ago

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Why can't my cat be crazy like that!?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point ago

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Fuck your cat

[–]bagofdog 0 points1 point ago

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dont complain, cat. you brought this on yourself.

[–]Micosilver 0 points1 point ago

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Yada yada yada...

[–]string97bean -1 points0 points ago

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See what had happened wuz...

[–]Monster182 -1 points0 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

TL;DR

[–]Mark_Lincoln -2 points-1 points ago

sorry, this has been archived and can no longer be voted on

U R Retarded kid.

I hope you survive long enough to make the third grade.