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all 147 comments

[–][deleted] 99 points100 points ago

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I...

I don't understand.

What was he hoping to achieve?

[–]PompeiiGraffiti 57 points58 points ago

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TO BECOME THE ROCKETEER!

[–]cockdragon 61 points62 points ago

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Cocketeer

[–]diehard23 9 points10 points ago

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shuttle cock

[–]gigashadowwolf 13 points14 points ago

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Is that a rocket in your pocket or are you happy t-

OH GOD IT'S A ROCKET IT'S A ROCKET!

[–]ronocdh -3 points-2 points ago

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ಠ_ಠ

[–][deleted] ago

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[deleted]

[–]gynoceros 20 points21 points ago

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Cock Rocket has a better ring to it.

[–]texansfan 3 points4 points ago

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BINGO

[–]Fyzzle 0 points1 point ago

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[–]gynoceros 0 points1 point ago

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See? I told ya!

[–]Detroit_All_Of_It 0 points1 point ago

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Spacedick. Anyone?

[–]european_impostor -2 points-1 points ago

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Sounds like something that TF2 Soldier would say...

Peeeeeenis ROCKET.

[–]ivanilich[S] 23 points24 points ago

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1 stand in gap between cars 2 put firecracker below and blaze that shit 3 ???????? 4 profit.

[–]YouJellyBrah 55 points56 points ago

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3: Get a new scrotum made entirely of skin grafts.

[–]MadMageMC 7 points8 points ago

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Or just admit defeat and start taking the estrogen therapy now, 'cause having a manufactured man-vag would probably be a better story than admitting what you did here.

[–]Tetha 3 points4 points ago

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profit in the form of a darwin award?

[–]Bryman85 -4 points-3 points ago

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I see what you did there.

[–]jonathanrdt 7 points8 points ago

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Doesn't matter, has explosion at the end.

[–]Fhwqhgads 7 points8 points ago

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He wants to win a Darwin Award I guess.

[–]willcode4beer 0 points1 point ago

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We really need an image created of Darwin dressed up like Death

[–]DannyInternets 1 point2 points ago

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Evolution

[–]LettersFromTheSky 0 points1 point ago

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To become the Rocket Man!

[–]frobischer -2 points-1 points ago

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[–]midnightauto 2 points3 points ago

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What did I just watch.

[–]catherder9000 75 points76 points ago

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Why do people take perfectly good, clear, video and convert it to shitty gif animations that lack audio? Is it some sort of 90's nostalgia?

Original video from YouTube

[–]NakedTonyDanza 40 points41 points ago

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In this case I prefer the gif, or at least a muted version - in every video I've seen of someone blowing themselves up, it's filmed by a verbal cripple with a vocabulary limited to repeating "fuck". You're really not missing much.

[–]rsheahen 10 points11 points ago

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Elton John made that song about you right?

[–]nihilite 1 point2 points ago

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Yeah, its about a roadtrip they took...

[–]MadMageMC 0 points1 point ago

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Something about miniature ballerina's, right?

[–]krevency 2 points3 points ago

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For anyone who doesn't get it, he's talking about Tiny Dancer, which, when Elton (amazing singer, btw) sings it, sounds just like Tony Danza.

"Hold my closer, Tony Danza, Count the headlights on the highway."

link

[–]MadMageMC 0 points1 point ago

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I... I have never once heard it that way... scarred

Also: Alyssa Milano during her Who's the Boss years - original jailbait, amiright?

[–]NakedTonyDanza 1 point2 points ago

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There's a reason I still refuse to put on clothes.

[–]ten_thousand_puppies 0 points1 point ago

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I agree, the sound is pretty unnecessary here

[–]smakusdod 12 points13 points ago

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Gifs can't be removed or taken down.

[–]knylok 14 points15 points ago

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You can't stop the signal, Mal.

[–]ILikePopcorn 10 points11 points ago

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Guy killed me with a sword, Mal. How weird is that?

[–]farkdog 2 points3 points ago

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And you can't embed an advertisement in it.

[–]Gandulph 14 points15 points ago

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Here at work Youtube takes like 2 minutes to load all the crap (comments, related video thumbnails, etc) and then a good 3 or 5 minutes to load a 2mins video). Instead, a GIF loads in almost no time; it goes straight to the interesting part of the original video and it instantly loops so you can watch it again and again and again and again.

[–]yc_delmir 5 points6 points ago

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Also, no fear of blasting audio by accident and giving yourself away.

I love the GIFs!

[–]lukasmach 5 points6 points ago

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It really says something negative about 3rd party browser plugins like Flash or Silverlight when people consider using GIFs more user-friendly than video embedded into said plugins.

[–]Ginger-Giant -2 points-1 points ago

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Flash and I don't seem to get along, I'd rather flash like this guy...

[–]farkdog -2 points-1 points ago

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I'm astonished that the rocket "stuck" when it hit his crotch and did not simply ricochet off some place. Someone must have stuck a needle in the nose.

[–]graveyarddancer 25 points26 points ago

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goodness gracious...

[–]Ceadol 40 points41 points ago

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\o/ Great balls of fire!

[–]MadMageMC 1 point2 points ago

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Whole lot o' 'splodin' goin' on!

[–]aritali 37 points38 points ago

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He won't be nailing much more in the future.

[–]AduroNox 14 points15 points ago

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This kills the testicles.

[–]InSomeKneeYack200 18 points19 points ago

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Crotch rocket.

[–]ACrackHeadsOpinion 22 points23 points ago

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rocket man

[–]BlackWolf_001 20 points21 points ago

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Well, I only bring it up because, uh, it's you.

You're the Rocket Man.

-Stanley Goodspeed

[–]MaydWithSugar 11 points12 points ago

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I'll take pleasure in guttin' you, boy.

:D

[–]MadMageMC 1 point2 points ago

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What do you want me to do? Kill him again?

[–]ACrackHeadsOpinion 4 points5 points ago

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props on the rock reference

[–]jamesneysmith 0 points1 point ago

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Wow I had to google that one. Not often you see a Rock reference thrown around. Now I want to want it again.

[–]Aylaa95 6 points7 points ago

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burning out his fuse up here alone

[–]Tylerdurdon 5 points6 points ago

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burning out his pubes while on the ground

[–]MadMageMC 1 point2 points ago

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On the upside, he won't have to pay for bikini waxes anymore.

[–]mark445 5 points6 points ago

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I'm taking a shot for every time someone says darwin or gene pool

[–]cdskip 8 points9 points ago

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RIP mark445.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points ago

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am i the only one who noticed the 4gifs logo blatantly covering the break logo

B|

[–]seashanty 6 points7 points ago

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This is so comically presented that I dont even feel bad for laughing.

[–]Aging_Roses 9 points10 points ago

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I made the 'air sucking sound' as I watched it explode and then audibly said "oh NO."

I don't know how much more empathy I can have for this man.

[–]Kazang 14 points15 points ago

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My brain automatically shuts off my empathy when someone does something this stupid, I think it's an evolutionary trait.

[–]Spocktease -2 points-1 points ago

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What if he had the head of an adorable kitten? What then?

[–]Aging_Roses 8 points9 points ago

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Then I'd have other things to worry about.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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The one that sounds like "Thhhh" breathing inwards?

[–]Aging_Roses -1 points0 points ago

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Yeah, something like that.

[–]curt4074 11 points12 points ago

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And the Darwin award goes to...

[–]freerider 6 points7 points ago

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More like "darwin honorable mention". He probably didn't die!

[–]curt4074 37 points38 points ago

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You need not die... If he blew his balls off he rendered himself sterile which is all that is required to win a darwin award.

[–]Bford 3 points4 points ago

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True, the qualifier is to remove yourself from the gene pool through your own stupidity.

IMO this is easier for men as we are less protected, thus the higher amounts of men receiving an award.

[–]blindsight 13 points14 points ago

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That's not really the reason why. Men are just more likely to do stupid shit because of testosterone.

[–]Bford -1 points0 points ago

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Still, you could argue that if testicles where inside us then there would be less awards given to men.

[–]lillesvin 3 points4 points ago

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Why not just look at Darwin Awards where people actually kill themselves (ruling out neutering, etc.) and look at the men/women ratio. From reading the first two books I suspect an over-representation of men, but I can't say for sure.

[–]Bford 0 points1 point ago

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This is probably true, I never said testosterone wasn't a factor though.

[–]Scatman_Crothers 5 points6 points ago

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Downvoted for title

[–]perb123 3 points4 points ago

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He had balls.

[–]YouJellyBrah 4 points5 points ago

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Past tense is key.

[–]1n2n3n4JAZZHANDS 3 points4 points ago

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Straddling two cars when suddenly a there was a rocket between my legs. It was in full go mode and it could explode at any second. I acted quickly, jumping off the car and desperately reaching for the hot cylinder of fire action in my man space. Like a man between a rock and an artful combustion event just inches from his taint, I closed my eyes and tried anything. I plunged my hands down, down into a place they were so familiar with on those late lonely nights when Brenda was working late or in one of her pseudo-lesbian moods. I grabbed, I pulled, I slipped and fell when suddenly KAPOW! It happened so fast. It was so much like fireworks that it was literally fireworks, next to my pair of precious baby olives. Life will never be the same.

[–]workpuppy 0 points1 point ago

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I question the assertion that this guys brain...the brain that thinks launching explosives at his junk is a good idea...could be that articulate.

I do know what he said right before the rocket fired, that most famous of famous last words: "Hey guys, watch this!"

[–]mattzm 3 points4 points ago

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Of course, thanks to modern medicine, he will have the use of his genitals restored so he can breed again...

[–]LysanderBelling 1 point2 points ago

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Old as a megalosaurus

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points ago

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Was that planned? What were his intentions?

[–]masterbates 1 point2 points ago

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I don't think there was a plan. Who would ever come up with the idea of shooting a rocket up their own arse, burn thier hands trying to remove it before falling over and blowing their rectum out of their penis while turning their testicles into sparks of light.

This is just not a plan, it is just natural selection at work.

[–]Baroliche 5 points6 points ago

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I think I saw an arm fly off.

[–]The-Beer-Baron 1 point2 points ago

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And that's why you don't play with fireworks.

[–]DemonMuffins 2 points3 points ago

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And then, his penis exploded into thousands of pieces.

[–]praveenpious 3 points4 points ago

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Did he..die?

[–]Suttonian 7 points8 points ago

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Doesn't matter, penis exploded.

[–]only_death_is_real 3 points4 points ago

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-"What was that? An air plane? A bullet?... -No, just our neighbour kid's testicle..."

[–]CatsPajamas 2 points3 points ago

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Now sing 'Crotch Rocket' to the tune of 'Hot Pockets!'.

[–]G0R3 3 points4 points ago

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Old post. Here is the link to the you tube page! Awesome videos!

http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/m3ds8/the_nutshot_kings_help_them_out_with_a_few/

[–]funkmasterflex -1 points0 points ago*

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Thanks for the link, I do not understand your downvotes. However, I don't understand why people post soundless low res gifs instead of videos either. It's also good to know that his genitals weren't obliterated.

edit: maybe because you link through one of your old posts

[–]G0R3 0 points1 point ago

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I will admit I could have linked the site directly :P

[–]ampereJR 1 point2 points ago

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Score one for the gene pool.

[–]Ninja_Bacon 1 point2 points ago

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We can only hope that the explosion was enough to take his seed out of the gene pool.

[–]sasemax 1 point2 points ago

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Natural selection.

[–]dontlookatmynameok 0 points1 point ago

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I cringed... wouldn't it ruin the paint job?

[–]ara_p 0 points1 point ago

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Darwin award, right there.

[–]mccscott 0 points1 point ago

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sighYOU are why we cant have explosive things

[–]ShakinBacon 0 points1 point ago

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This kills the offspring.

[–]whyitisfunny 0 points1 point ago

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Possibly the most epicly retarded way to die ever imagined.

[–]MadMageMC 0 points1 point ago

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Y'know, it's gifs like this that allow me to occasionally appreciate my slow-ass internet connection. That was way funnier loading in a frame at a time than at full speed. :D

[–]Vato_Loco 0 points1 point ago

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And I think it's gonna be a long, long time....

[–]Topsiders 0 points1 point ago

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HAHAHA "NAILED IT!" Right guys? NAILED IT, RIGHT???

[–]gustoid 0 points1 point ago

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And the Darwin award gies to.....

[–]joedogg 0 points1 point ago

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So he's dead.

[–]Scotchya_12 0 points1 point ago

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Seems like a good Friday night to me.

[–]djtheninja 0 points1 point ago

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Somebody's a firework

[–]TheInfamousRedditor 0 points1 point ago

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Is he a women now?

[–]batsu 0 points1 point ago

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[–]angrygeek 0 points1 point ago

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[–]AlphaLemming 0 points1 point ago

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he is very lucky he tripped and fell down, it caused him to move his hands to brace himself instead of holding onto the rocket when it blew up.

[–]call_me_lee 0 points1 point ago

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Strongest argument I have ever seen for creationism!

[–]McGarnigal 0 points1 point ago

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Redneck Vasectomy!

[–]wayndom 0 points1 point ago

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Again:

The Stupid has no bottom.

[–]Jrodkin 0 points1 point ago

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and if you look closely, you can see his dick flying off to the right immediately after the explosion

[–]jtides 0 points1 point ago

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QUADDAFFI'D

[–]TheThingy 0 points1 point ago

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He died.

[–]Kellerbier 0 points1 point ago

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Dipshit.

[–]Splazoinka 0 points1 point ago

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Like a candle in the wind.......

[–]firebyte 0 points1 point ago

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Third degree burns, right there. To the Family Jewels no less... Darwin Award nominee.

[–]dsem 0 points1 point ago

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I love where it cuts. It looks like he got vapourised.

[–]rugtoad 0 points1 point ago

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I really, really want to know what the expected result was. And then, if it was "to get hit in the nards with an explosive device", I'd like to know wtf is wrong with this dude.

[–]kcufo 0 points1 point ago

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A fitting end to contribution to the human gene pool.

[–]BarkingToad 0 points1 point ago

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What the hell did he think was going to happen?

Human genepool: 1, This asshole: 0.

[–]cecilxx 0 points1 point ago

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Reversed it looks kinda like a martial arts movie.

[–]kitchlol 0 points1 point ago

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ROCKETMAAAAAN...

[–]shaggorama 0 points1 point ago

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People like that don't deserve testicles

[–]aivzdog -1 points0 points ago

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ouch

[–]PretentiousArtCritic -1 points0 points ago

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I like my nuts toasted...

[–]GFandango -1 points0 points ago

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do you want butter on that sir?

[–]JayZeus -1 points0 points ago

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Haven't a bunch of people already tried something like this and failed horribly? Do people not learn??

[–]alcaholicost -1 points0 points ago

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Can anyone tell me what his goal was?

[–]postarded -1 points0 points ago

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IamA request: him

[–]L-Plates -1 points0 points ago

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The good thing is that natural selection still works here as he won't be having kids.

[–]colindean -1 points0 points ago

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A sick part of my brain wants to believe that he himself exploded.

[–]otroquatrotipo -1 points0 points ago

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NOOOPE.

[–]RyzeBake -1 points0 points ago

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Whenever I see this video, I can't help but imagine the reason they cut right after the fireworks explode is because that guy's privates are now terribly mutilated. The only way to keep this shit funny was to pretend that never happened...

[–]workpuppy 1 point2 points ago

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Eh. It looks flashy, but he's probably fine. You're much more likely to take damage from the rocket exhaust than from the explosion for all fireworks where the boom is not the main point. In a situation like this, where the explosion isn't contained, unless he happened to get some burning magnesium stuck to him, he's not going to take much damage.

If you see a firework make pretty lights, it only has enough charge to throw them around. If you see a firework that makes a bright flash and a cracking BOOM, you don't want that anywhere near you.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points ago

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The good news is he won't propagate.. Natural selection does work

[–]MC-Master-Bedroom -1 points0 points ago

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DAE hear Darwin laughing?

[–]TheInsaneDane -1 points0 points ago

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DICK Clarkes rockin' new years eve.

[–]Shieya -1 points0 points ago

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At any point, did he stop and think "Is this a good idea or not?"?

[–]blade2000 -1 points0 points ago

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ANCIENT vid! Repost City, here we come!